Red Lights (2012)

[MatthewSpeicher 4]

The following is a post I made in the Red Lights forum on IMDB:

 

I honestly don't how, or why, this "film" made it beyond a random thought in some idiot's drug addled brain. The entire concept is flawed. I read in another post that the director did a great deal of research because he wanted the film to be "believable?" Are you kidding? This is, without a doubt, one of the worst movies I have ever seen... and that's including what plays behind the hilarious characters of MST3K. The only reason to sit through this train wreck is if you are really stoned and want something to dissect and laugh at.

 

At one point about halfway into the film, I commented to my wife, "Maybe De Niro is just a regular, old, blind guy and all of this is in his head. A sort of fantasy he made up to entertain himself as he trudges through the daily routine." It was supposed to be a joke, but a testament to the awful reality of the script was my wife's response: "That would actually be a better idea for a movie!"

 

Honestly, we only finished watching for two reasons: 1) We were having a great time making fun of it. 2) We wanted to see what laughable "twist" was coming at the end. The twist did not disappoint. **SPOILERS** De Niro wasn't really blind. OOOHHHHHHH!!! Couldn't see that one coming ten thousand miles away. The second twist? I'll let you find out, but it's just silly and certainly not worth sitting through the film, if that's the only reason you're still watching after the first 20 minutes.

 

Now this section will contain many SPOILERS, as I want to respond to some of the more ridiculous plot points:

 

1. Is this supposed to be some alternate reality, as other reviewers have stated, where any of the subject matter of this script actually matters... to anyone? If so, they did not do a good job of establishing this fact. The movie makes it seem as though psychic frauds are PLAGUING the world and must be fought with the fervor of the war on terror, or the drug war. Which, incidentally I do not agree with, but at least those would make sense for a movie plot.

 

2. De Niro is supposed to be some master villain, hellbent on destroying people's lives, but they never really cover any terrible act he's committing. Ohhhh... he's a fraud who fleeces people for money... AND?! Who gives a *beep* Am I supposed to care that much about idiots giving their money to a conman? He's no worse than a televangelist. Did they show him raping women and children? Was he shown stealing money from thousands of sick and poor people? No. So who cares what some hack psychic does with his time?

 

3. The scene where they bust the fraudulent faith healer is hilarious. First, Sigourney and Cillian are using some high-tech spy gear to bust the guy, and for some reason the police are with them. OK. When the bust occurs, the director makes a half-assed attempt to make it look like the whole production is being run by biker meth dealing types? I assume that's what he was going for. The bust concludes with the cops hauling the faith healer off to prison... for... I'm not sure. In this world, I guess being a faith healer is some major crime that gets you locked away for life? I doubt they even broke any laws, scummy as the characters might be.

 

4. Sigourney Weaver's death. WTF? Did those people on the talk show kill her? Cillian just finds her dead after the talk show got out of hand. And why are they portraying the talk show appearance as though it would matter at all? In most believable worlds, Sigourney's appearance would be little more than an episode of some daytime talk show, or a blurb in a TLC programs on debunking paranormal claims. Yet, Cillian is watching this event unfold on his television screen as though he's watching a State of the Union address, or some debate that has ANY consequences to important matters. Again... who cares? Cillian's character, I guess. The audience sure wasn't lead to a place of caring by this point in the script.

 

5. Near the end of the film, the "scientist" who ran the experiment on De Niro is about to publish his findings that the demonstrated psychic phenomena was real. This is supposed to be a HUGE deal for some reason, that ONE scientist at ONE university published a study. This also goes against the point other reviewers posted that this script takes place in a universe where everyone is interested in the paranormal and the public widely believes in paranormal abilities. If that is the case, then why would this study be a big deal? I think this point shows that the writer/director wanted this script to take place in the real world, which is absolute insanity. Anyway... back to the topic. This scene is ridiculous! Scientist publish controversial findings all the time. The movie acts as though the second this study is signed and published, the world as we know it will come to an end. Up will become down. Black will become white. Yadda yadda. Who... gives... a... *beep* Studies like this one HAVE been published in the real world and no one cared. So... why would anyone care about a fictionalization of a common occurrence? It's all just so terrible.

 

6. Sigourney make a comment at one point about how the department trying to prove psychic phenomena exists has double the funding of her "debunking" department and how they are "over subsidized." So, one weird and inconsequential department at one random university has more funding than the other weird and inconsequential department. Who cares? The writer acts as though there is one university on the planet and one scientist's findings have some massive effect on the human population. And oh yea, the government is funding entire departments to prove psychic's are real. The funny thing is, the US government actually does spend a good deal of money studying these topics and experimenting with remote viewing, mind control, etc. AND IT STILL DOESN'T MATTER!

 

7. De Niro not actually being blind is a poor attempt at a twist. First, it's pretty hacky and easy to see coming. But, more importantly, De Niro being blind in the first place had no real effect on the story, so who gives a *beep* if he was faking? Nice "twist" that didn't matter at all.

 

The entire script just seems like a debunker's wet dream. A world where people care about this topic with a passion and the entire world is out to get the debunker for being right in the face of wrong. Seriously... no one cares and this film sure as hell doesn't do anything to change that fact. I don't know why any of the actor's took this job. Come on, De Niro. I know you take a lot of *beep* roles now, but really? This piece of crap? Did you even know what movie you were in? Sigourney does an OK job acting, but she should really stick to comedic roles nowadays (Baby Mama, Paul, Cedar Rapids, etc), unless a very good script comes her way. She sure as hell couldn't carry this film, but I doubt anyone could. And Cillian. What are you doing to your career? I've liked you in many roles, but why on Earth did you take this job?

 

TL;DR:

One of the worst movies I've ever seen. Up there with Bongwater and equally fun to dissect and make fun of while high. So many plot holes, you might trip over one, set in a silly world that isn't very believable, stupid and inconsequential twists that can be seen coming a mile away... but those are not the worst aspects of this film. The worst thing about the film is that the basic idea is just flawed. A lot of movies fail to execute a good idea. That is not the case with Red Lights. This movie does the best job it possibly can executing a terrible idea for a script... and that is just sad. As with softcore "skinamax" flicks I'll see randomly on the guide at 2AM, this movie left me feeling: Who the hell pays for this *beep* to get made and why did anyone think it was a good idea in the first place?!?

[nrkist 71]

DeNiro, Murphy, Weaver.

 

Premise seems like a great idea, yet the plot is a contradictory mess. The climax is the cherry on the top and leads to a tumbling house of cards and hilarious unintentional causation. It's literally the middle-finger, 'the audience is too dumb to remember anything', reveal.

[BeingAllFishies 99]

Yes. Just, yes. This film needs to be done. Not much I can add to your summary, just that nothing that anyone says or does makes sense. My favorite part is that the movie seems genuinely confused on how it feels about parapsychology, keeping comatose people alive...or even blind people, really. And I'd really like the guys to explain to me why it's called Red Lights and not, oh, really anything else.

 

How did a movie this high-budget with this many great people get made so, so poorly? I never even heard of it until I randomly found it on Netflix. So glad I did.

[DeathToMikeyBay 130]

Oof. Just caught this one on Netflix. I'd say it's almost up there with 88 Minutes as just another lame thriller at first glance, but gets more insane and ridiculous as you watch.

 

The exact same plot as Haunted and The Awakening (also on Netflix), Sigourney Weaver is a professional paranormal hoax debunker goes for ONE LAST JOB to debunk a phenomenon that may finally be real!

 

Not only is it a terrible movie, but it was obviously written by some hack screenwriter with zero real world experience to what he was talking about:

 

-De Niro in full auto pilot ham mode. With the sunglasses and grand speeches, it's almost like he's channeling Brando in Dr. Moreau. In scenes where a younger De Niro is talking to journalists, he just nods and wobbles his hand in a perfect imitation of an SNL sketch imitating De Niro.

 

-Weaver actually says, "I'm getting too old for this shit."

 

-Like Haunted and The Awakening, it opens with her visiting a house to debunk a psychic hoax. Unlike those movies, it doesn't show her debunk it. Instead, she leaves, then it cuts to her lecture class where she lectures a related topic that sort of explains how the hoax in the previous scene might have worked. Yes, much more interesting than actually showing the fraud be exposed. This sets the trend of the movie's strict "tell, don't show" policy.

 

-Lecture hall? Yes, Sigourney is a university professor teaching an entire course on paranormal hoax debunking to a PACKED lecture hall (rather than what such a class would actually draw: 5 students looking for a joke class to fill an elective).

 

-Her TA for this undergrad course has a doctorate???!

 

-There is some pointless introduction of a rival paranormal physics department jockeying for university funding?????

 

-Sigourney's lecture including "witty" lines that no professional academic would ever say or get away with to her class. "And watch the table legs fly up like a school girl's dress." The whole abusive rock star professor teaching the hottest, but most ridiculous course in school is like watching an even dumber form of How to Get Away with Murder.

 

-They set out to debunk psychic De Niro, not in the standard haunted house setting, but in haunted paranormal TED Talks! WooooOOOOOoooo! This movie is obsessed with lecture halls.

 

-It's supposed to take place sometime after 2005 ("over 30 years" after 1975), everyone is using modern laptops, yet every single television set is from the 80s. Bars and diners all have TVs with dials!!! (and I'm no car expert, but how fucking old is Sigourney's car in this?)

 

-Remember Sigourney's inappropriate lecture? Later on, she tells a rape joke! ("A woman gets raped VIOLENTLY every night by aliens. She sees a hypnotist and they stop. She asks him if they can visit just once a week!") Not only is the joke COMPLETELY OUT OF NOWHERE, but she tells it inside the hospital room of her son who has been in a decade long coma! Right after a heartfelt speech that she would shut off his life support in a second if she believed in heaven! God DAMN, lady!

 

 

I'm only 23 minutes into it! All this has happened since then! I've got to slowly work my way through and savor this, like layers of a trainwreck onion.

 

Totally check it out on Netflix right now. Give it 10 minutes and if you're not in awe at the terrible setup and screenwriter 101 clumsy exposition, then I'll eat De Niro's wig. This is now my 2nd most wanted movie to have an episode on (after getting Pete Holmes back for Any Given Sunday).

[DeathToMikeyBay 130]

How did a movie this high-budget with this many great people get made so, so poorly? I never even heard of it until I randomly found it on Netflix. So glad I did.

 

$20 million is fairly low budget. When you get that many big name stars in a $20 million movie (unless it's a labor of love art house deal), you're not going to have that much money left over after their paychecks for the actual movie.

[DeathToMikeyBay 130]

Mentioning this reminded me of a movie discussion I had a little while ago.

 

I think a big part of why so many modern movies are worse these days (look at the best picture winners of the 60s-80s compared to the last 20 years) is that Hollywood has completely lost the ability to create convincing workplaces and occupations.

 

I think it began with Armageddon and Independence Day. Nobody could be just a believable professional anymore. Everybody had to be a hot dog devil may care rockstar no matter how mundane the job. You couldn't have believable crises centers anymore without someone snarling, "GET ME THE PRESIDENT!" every scene.

 

Compare the scientists/engineers/officials of older disaster movies like The China Syndrome and The Andromeda Strain vs Armageddon and Independence Day.

 

Red Lights is the apex absurdity of this trend. National anti-psychic activist and researcher competing for federal anti-psychic funds with other hotshot anti-psychic teams, teaching the hottest anti-psychic classes at university while making anti-psychic house calls and then on weekends directing police raids against anti-faith healer rallies!

[DeathToMikeyBay 130]

Sorry, can't stop posting about this thing because every time I watch another 5 minutes, something AMAZING(ly idiotic) happens!

 

Sigourney directs a police raid on a faith healer seminar, actually ordering police around and reprimanding their superior. Her team sets up in the auditorium's control room as the healer goes around expelling cancer by the power of god. CSI style editing and tense music as she screams COME ON WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME and her assistant I'M TRYING THESE GUYS ARE USING MODULATION THEY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING until finally...some number appears on a readout and they have the radio frequency of the healer's assistant feeding information over the hidden wireless earpiece. Some feedback somehow lets Sigourney know that the assistant is in the...other control room? Right next door to their room. She opens up the door and cops run in to arrest the assistant. So in this world, psychics are the worst plague on America and pedalling religion is against the law?

 

Cut to next morning. Sigourney wants to go after a new case, hands her (PhD) TA a photo saying, "This image hasn't been digitally altered at all." A guy appears to levitating crossed-legged. TA says, "It's a trampoline." Case solved!

 

Sigourney runs into the rival psychic scientist team stealing all their university funding. They announce that they've made huge progress with breakthroughs proving telepathy using the same card test Bill Murray gave in Ghostbusters. Sigourney asks for him to give her the test. She gets every card right and schools the scientist by pointing out that his glasses shows the card reflection. Yes, the professional scientists sucking up all the univsersity funding made such a basic idiotic mistake that not even the most amateur poker player would commit it. This is a 2 minute long scene building up to the glasses like it's this shocking surprise revelation, but it's the viewer's immediate first guess because yes the writing in this movie is that dumb.

 

Literally every scene is this insane. Jaw dropped, wondering out loud, "Did adults work on this movie?" I'm changing my opinion that it's actually better in the amazingly terrible movie category than 88 Minutes.

 

This all isn't even touching on how terrible "witty" the dialog is. Check out just the first 10 minutes on Netflix right now and you'll be hooked to the end.

[DeathToMikeyBay 130]

Finally finished it!

 

They try to reveal the "twist" at the end like it's the end to The Usual Suspects and like everything else in the movie, falls flat on its inept face.

 

Watching this, I realized this movie is like an inverse Left Behind movie. Instead of a world where persecuted god fearing Christians are surrounded by cartoonishly evil atheist strawmen, it's a world where rational scientists are persecuted by a cartoonishly evil religious public.

 

Final notes:

 

Why did De Niro decide to cancel a show in order to undergo the tests at the university? Especially if his goal was to retire after the final show? He also would have had to know the exact parameters of the test beforehand in order to set up his cheating system.

 

Why did he send his goon to beat up the main character? It was the final show he was retiring after. What did he care? And holy shit the fight scene in the bathroom was almost at the level of the sunglasses fight from They Live meets the bathroom shootout from True Lies.

 

What the hell high tech lab facility to test psychics? How much fucking funding does a university give a "Parapsychology" department? Shit looked straight out of Blacklist.

 

 

88 Minutes is my favorite episode. This movie is in the same vein as that, but even crazier. Definitely needs to be done (right after they get Pete Holmes back to do Any Given Sunday).

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

88 Minutes is my favorite episode. This movie is in the same vein as that, but even crazier. Definitely needs to be done (right after they get Pete Holmes back to do Any Given Sunday).

 

Speaking of minutes and late era De Niro not giving a shit, have you ever seen "15 Minutes"? It's straight garbage. It's one of those movies though where things have to happen because it's a cop movie, and that's what cop movies do. I mean, you can't have a woman being protected by the cops and then NOT make her a love interest even though there's been NOTHING to set that up, right?

[Scooter McGnarly 382]

This movie is incredibly baffling. The shot were there are a comical amount of reporters all standing in a line talking to invisible camera operators is especially funny. Robert De Niro really phones in this performance.

[DeathToMikeyBay 130]

This movie is incredibly baffling. The shot were there are a comical amount of reporters all standing in a line talking to invisible camera operators is especially funny. Robert De Niro really phones in this performance.

 

Yes! I was bursting out laughing at that scene. You think it's already going on comically too long and it just keeps going down the line! It was almost something out of a Zucker bros movie.

[jbop 2]

Just finished this movie on Netflix (only took 4 viewing sessions over 2 days) and came here immediately to make sure I'm not an idiot who missed something. The bulk of my gripes have already been stated by you lovely folks years ago in this thread, but I'd like to add that this movie felt to me like it was written by Charlie and Mac from IASIP emulating Shyamalan (or maybe just prompted by them to a fellow of SE Asian descent). If this ever gets done on the podcast I think Chelsea Peretti would be the perfect paranormal expert to cohost. Somehow, this movie was fairly watchable due to the mix of not knowing what was happening and having a pretty good idea of what was going to happen next. Five star cast/ five turd execution.