Episode 9 — Michael Showalter, Our Close Friend

[chanson 9697]

 

I was very excited to finally be free of that fucking LA traffic, but lo and behold I'm now stuck behind a blasted LORRY! Bloody hell!

 

Speak English, damnit.

[mattyzmatty 157]

Well goddamn son what in the name of Sam Hill are you hollerin' about? Get yo ass off the sidewalk and onto the intersection so's I can run you down with my Chevrolet. Lordy lordy I got a two by four here with your name all over it boy!

[robinsbruce 4985]

Well goddamn son what in the name of Sam Hill are you hollerin' about? Get yo ass off the sidewalk and onto the intersection so's I can run you down with my Chevrolet. Lordy lordy I got a two by four here with your name all over it boy!

 

Surprisingly accurate. Kudos ol chap.

[xoValeriexo 4369]

?s 4 Michael Shoperry that I neva got the chance 2 ask:

 

I red ur book. Do u liek me?

 

Do u stil sing about Kareem Abdul's pj bottoms?

 

Wanderlust was so gud. r u jelly of David Wain?

 

waz up with dogzz?

[OcterDoctopus 1079]

Now that Michael Showalter is a host on an Earwolf podcast he has a HOST level forum account by default. So we should see him posting comments in this very forum anyyyyyyy time now

[greggy 15909]

vb biting my style

 

thats ok tho, looks better on her anyway

[chanson 9697]

Well goddamn son what in the name of Sam Hill are you hollerin' about? Get yo ass off the sidewalk and onto the intersection so's I can run you down with my Chevrolet. Lordy lordy I got a two by four here with your name all over it boy!

 

 

We'd say Chevy, no one actually says Chevrolet.

 

Also, you're affectation makes it seem like you're an old-timey, probably a little racist, southerner speaking condescendingly to a person of African-American descent, likely someone employed in the service industry.

 

So yeah, be proud of that.

 

Love, America.

 

------------

 

Valerie Bryant, you're so much better than that.

[mattyzmatty 157]

 

 

We'd say Chevy, no one actually says Chevrolet.

 

Also, you're affectation makes it seem like you're an old-timey, probably a little racist, southerner speaking condescendingly to a person of African-American descent, likely someone employed in the service industry.

 

So yeah, be proud of that.

 

Love, America.

 

That's what I was going for

 

But, umm, I'm pretty sure Chevy is not a car, it's an actor from The Three Amigo. Nice try.

[hugLife 492]

Also, you're affectation makes it seem like you're an old-timey, probably a little racist, southerner speaking condescendingly to a person of African-American descent, likely someone employed in the service industry.

 

That's what I was going for

 

....getting a bit awkward in here....

[OcterDoctopus 1079]

Hey Scooping Troopers, please start submitting your questions for close friend of the show Max Hodges. He will be in the studio to talk about how to work a surfer dude angle in Hollywood and how to generate celeb nip slip gossip

[xoValeriexo 4369]

vb biting my style

 

thats ok tho, looks better on her anyway

 

You really know how to hurt a motherfucker, Greggy.

[mattyzmatty 157]

Question: What's better, British comedy (eg Monty's Python) or American comedy (eg Dads)?

[Asteck 1250]

Question: What's better, British comedy (eg Monty's Python) or American comedy (eg Dads)?

I thought I'd watched a funny British show called inbetweeners but it turned out it was actually some show called Scandal.

[NotTheNarnold 413]

Sorry I haven't been posting guys, since I read about Hayes I've been in a deep depression. Like I haven't even gotten out of bed, this was the saddest I've been... at least since I heard Gelmania was canceled.

 

Also about last week, guys I need a cool nickname, I mean my name is Nick but that doesn't count. Someone who doesn't hate me! (I'm looking at you Chanson!!!!) come up with one.

[burdrulz 1760]

Not the Narnold.

 

I am just now realizing you are from Pittsburgh. I assume you're a huge sport head like myself. I'm at the sports all the time, you name it i'm playin' it, accept cricket because all things british are totally boring including their comedies.

 

But, our two cities have a big football rivalry. Speak on that?

[Toby Keith Sweat 1000]

I've always been a glass half full kinda guy, so I guess the silver lining of this whole tragic Hayes butt injury thing is that maybe it will finally bring Bull Helmet awareness to the public at large. We've been campaigning for years to make Butt Helmets mandatory for moped riders and maybe a huge, public megastar such as Hayes will kick-start the whole process. Thank you for your sacrifice Hayes, you're truly doing G*d's work.

 

 

BUTTSTRONG

[Clem Dawg 896]

Good news: Hayes is out of surgery. They managed to even him out so he can still wear his Sevens For All Mankind, but it takes him almost 2 hours to get into them.

 

Now for the bad news: about an hour ago he pulled out all his IVs, shook the orderlies, jumped on the back of a scooter driven by one of his Speed Dawgs and took off. He's not answering my texts and I think he is invisible on gchat. It's like he didn't learn anything.

[NotTheNarnold 413]

Not the Narnold.

 

I am just now realizing you are from Pittsburgh. I assume you're a huge sport head like myself. I'm at the sports all the time, you name it i'm playin' it, accept cricket because all things british are totally boring including their comedies.

 

But, our two cities have a big football rivalry. Speak on that?

 

You assumed right kinda, I do enjoy watching sports as an unathletic overweight white nerd I don't play, though I played football in middleschool all those years ago. Baseball is my favorite sport though, I'm a huge Pirate fan and was so happy to see them make the playoffs since the last time was when I was 3.

 

I like football but I'm not really annoying about it, unless I'm talking to my friend Ashley who lives in Baltimore.

 

Now I don't really care about hockey, I'll watch it every once in a while but not crazy about it.

 

Basketball I don't really have a team but cheer for the underdogs and the TWolves cause I love Rubio.

 

Nascar, sucks I hate all racing.

 

Now my hipster moment, I really love watching UEFA Champions League. Its fun, especially the fact they only play commercials during the halftime.

[greggy 15909]

yeah but how did his butt look? still p good?

[hugLife 492]

Now my hipster moment, I really love watching UEFA Champions League. Its fun, especially the fact they only play commercials during the halftime.

 

Watching "fútbol" is certainly not hipster. I think that it is more hipster to hate it since the rest of the world is clearly on board with the sport. I'm on your side buddy. I already bought our tickets to the VIP box in Brazil this summer.

[chanson 9697]

So I've been skiing for the last two days (you know, because I'm about that kind of lifestyle).

 

Did I miss anything good? I had to call my therapist several times to cope with the soul-crushing loneliness of not being able to post here and subsequently be completely ignored by all of you wonderful people, all of whom I love very much. Except for that damn Andy Kneis, he's trouble and looks like he runs with a 'fast crowd.' I think I've heard that Hayes has been hanging out with him recently. This is what happens to all of the good people, they find an Andy Kneis and they go down the shit tubes. This is just like what happened with the Biebs. Someone has to stop Andy Kneis from ruining all of the young, attractive male icons.

 

Also, I think Burdrulz is being too harsh about British comedy. It's only 'pretty boring', not 'totally boring.' You know, in the same way that bussin' up is 'pretty boring' and bustin' a major gut is 'pretty boring.' The Reality SHOW show, that was 'totally boring.'

 

Narnold, I have come up with some nicknames for you: Narnsy, MacNarnold Miller (I'm on to your poorly-constructed alter-ego...), D.L. Hughley (taken?), Nan Bread, Nicktown, Nick Jr., Narnold Mandela (for your role in ending apartheid), Narn-dog, N-Dubs, Nacklemore, Narnold Lewis, Narn&Barrel, Narnbucks, Whose Narnold is it Anyway?, Grand Theft Narnold V, Take One Narnold by Mouth Daily, Do Not Take Other Narnolds Without Checking With Your Narnold or Narnold. This Narnold May Impair the Ability to Drive or Operate Machinery.

[chanson 9697]

PS - Yes, I am definitely insinuating that Andy Kneis is responsible for the deaths of Paul Walker and Nelson Mandela. Because he hates freedom and attractive people.

[NotTheNarnold 413]

I died when I got to Narnold Mandela, can Chanson get a prize or something? I guess you could co-manage my fantasy basketball team, everyone in it is super famous. Though I can't give any names away but listen to the theme song,(hint hint)

[hugLife 492]

PS - Yes, I am definitely insinuating that Andy Kneis is responsible for the deaths of Paul Walker and Nelson Mandela. Because he hates freedom and attractive people.

 

I agree that Nelson Mandela truly was a gorgeous man.

[chanson 9697]

 

I agree that Nelson Mandela truly was a gorgeous man.

 

Paul Walker ended apartheid. BOOM! TRUTH BOMB!

 

I died when I got to Narnold Mandela, can Chanson get a prize or something? I guess you could co-manage my fantasy basketball team, everyone in it is super famous. Though I can't give any names away but listen to the theme song,(hint hint)

 

If I'm honest, I was partial to D.L. Hughley. It just has a ring to it, you know?