Episode 26 — Jason Mantzoukas, Our Close Friend

[hugLife 492]

 

 

Well to be fair we have been listening to some of the most dope-est bass (boss-ass) bros on the planet. With all the hollywood knowledge S and H have been droppin, we're totes qualified to give you relationship advice. Us web board wing-mans are gonna get you SO laid agata.

 

He is lying. The point of a relationship is to foster meaningful connections so deep that he is too afraid to leave you. Therefore, write really long love poems for any guy that you like/barely know and give them to him on big wooden board with the words spelled out in doll hair that you glued to it.

 

I bet you NOBODY gave you advice that sweet before. Let me know how it goes.

[showshowbro 1177]

 

duuuude. lets go smoke some ciggies and hit the skate park so we can show those posers how real gutter punks ollie.

 

bitchin. just got my shred sled back from the shop. i had 'em put grip-tape on the wheels 'cuz the streets can't hold me.

 

ps. are any of you bros playin' the battle of the bands on friday?

[kobthatreal 5896]

Wait I thought she was choosing one of us to go on a date with at the end of the day...? Did we do this wrong?

[gototimsvlogdotnet 2886]

thanks for the advice, guys. i mean, i asked for advice from a celebrity but i'll take it from you guys too. this has to be the nicest forum on the internet.

 

Who's the guy? It's Chanson, right? Everyone loves Chanson! He knows Nick Thune!

[agata 2789]

Wait I thought she was choosing one of us to go on a date with at the end of the day...? Did we do this wrong?

 

this is awkward but guys, i'm not a real person. i'm a robot made by earwolf to post and moderate on these forums. can we please get back to the topic at hand: is bruce reid robinson II doing ok in his daily life after that brutal zouk beatdown? i mean, he doesn't even has you as his avatar.

[kobthatreal 5896]

lol aw this robot is so cute how it thinks we're just gonna give up on our only chance at true love

 

edit: bruce is fine. him and I have been doing some release therapy by releasing about 10 psi from Jason's tires every morning

[hugLife 492]

Hey Agata,

 

I just tried to google your name to see if you were just a computer program or a full-fledged robot, but....

 

have you seen what your name brings up in google images???

 

I would post an example, but I am pretty sure that I would get banned from the forums for it...

[agata 2789]

 

have you seen what your name brings up in google images???

 

 

oh god, i've never googled just my first name before this moment (btw my last name is 1049wx) but please rest assured that is not me.

[burdrulz 1760]

 

bitchin. just got my shred sled back from the shop. i had 'em put grip-tape on the wheels 'cuz the streets can't hold me.

 

ps. are any of you bros playin' the battle of the bands on friday?

 

 

1. eff yeah ma brah. I got like the sickest design on the back of my cruiser. It's a 'ricky ratt' doing like a cool thing in a hotrod. But the hotrod is spinning it's tires so hard that they've like, bunched up and distorted. And the ratt is way to big for the hotrod he's knees are all bunched up into his chest. And of course there are flames everywhere.

 

2. Duh dude. Me and my fucking cousin Jordy entered. Our band is called Jordy and gnardawgies. He fucking severed his spine in a surfing accident trying to ride a wave that some non locals thought was a party wave. He's cool about it though he still shreds and shit.

 

and i hope these yuppie shit head tourist realize this isn't a party wave dude.

[hugLife 492]

 

oh god, i've never googled just my first name before this moment (btw my last name is 1049wx) but please rest assured that is not me.

 

 

hugLife likes this

[burdrulz 1760]

RIP Jordy's legs

[robinsbruce 4985]

 

this is awkward but guys, i'm not a real person. i'm a robot made by earwolf to post and moderate on these forums. can we please get back to the topic at hand: is bruce reid robinson II doing ok in his daily life after that brutal zouk beatdown? i mean, he doesn't even has you as his avatar.

 

I'll be ok one day, my therapists are sure of it. They say that I have learned a valuable lesson first hand about how hollywood bigwigs have to be cruel to be kind, ya kno?

 

I mean, did Zouks tell me that we would exchange avitars? Of course. Did he say that he was a huge fan of my work and that there was a ton of muutch resepct? No doy, you dummy. But he can't say any of that on a podcast like HH when he knows all the guys in da biz are listening. If Sean and Hayes and all the other triple threat bros in town knew J-Zouks (that's what I'm allowed to call him) was down with some anonymous brah making stupid dope content on the web-boards then he would lose some of his street cred and then they would know my real identity. He was protecting me in the only way he knew how. I guess what I'm saying is I forgive him, and that I only have burns on most of my body and not my face.

[kneisage 2108]

Hi everyone I don't have much to add but I just wanna stop by and say funny episode and nice posting this week

[OcterDoctopus 1079]

BRRII has had Benny Schwartz sing to him at length and has been put on blast by Jason Manzoukis. Does he now curry more favor than Chanson?

 

I guess that's just one of the questions that next week's guest, Summer Glau, will have to answer.

[greggy 15909]

ms agata, what was it like to grow up as a robott??

[gototimsvlogdotnet 2886]

Guys, you know any good Hollywood Handbook drinking games? Like, drink whenever you get good advice? (If you want a crazy night LOL) Or maybe drink whenever Hayesean interrupts their guest?

[kobthatreal 5896]

I just mainline ethanol, tried a drip but it can only go so fast. Burn through about a 40 pack of fresh unused syringes(I hope lol) per ep. I don't like to reuse because I don't want anything to get infected. I don't wanna have to start shootin in between my toes and shit lol!! So yea I guess it's not really a drinking game but you guys can still try it.

[kneisage 2108]

Guys, you know any good Hollywood Handbook drinking games? Like, drink whenever you get good advice? (If you want a crazy night LOL) Or maybe drink whenever Hayesean interrupts their guest?

 

Any time you loff - take 1 drink

Any time someone says "what up" - take 1 drink

Any time you sell a script to Hollywood Producer Jerry Bruckheimer - finish your drink

[JulyDiaz 2797]

 

Although you think you've outsmarted me (and don't pretend like you don't) did you consider that I was already aware that all time was before midnight? Also, did you consider that all time is also after midnight and that you're equally as wrong as you are right?

 

...And did you consider that I knew you would be shitty about it and call me out so that I could be shittier and call you out? No? Good. Because I didn't know that. But being shitty is my thing.

 

Let me just say this, July Diaz. I am on to you and your plot to hoard all of the likes for yourself and I'm not having any of it. It may not be today. It may not be tomorrow. But someday there will be freedom on this forum and your tyranny will be over and I would like you to consider how it will feel when you're down here with the little people and how much good all of those likes are going to do you then.

 

Okay? Okay. Fair enough.

 

 

 

welp, you've caught me. i will no longer hoard anymore likes from the likes of anyone here. i've moved on to something that is much much more satisfying...

 

[greggy 15909]

a sad tale; a witch cursed him so that every time chris gives away points on @midnights his eyelids come a tiny bit closer together, soon if he keeps it up they will go right past each other and eventually swallow his head

[agata 2789]

ms agata, what was it like to grow up as a robott??

 

like everything else in life, it hurt.

[greggy 15909]

drat i was hoping it was cool for ur sake

[greggy 15909]

ms agata, what do robbots eat

[greggy 15909]

the arbitrary limit on number of posts a person can like in a day is a symptom of the ills of an uncaring capitalist society based on scarcity

or w/e, lol

[showshowbro 1177]

 

 

1. eff yeah ma brah. I got like the sickest design on the back of my cruiser. It's a 'ricky ratt' doing like a cool thing in a hotrod. But the hotrod is spinning it's tires so hard that they've like, bunched up and distorted. And the ratt is way to big for the hotrod he's knees are all bunched up into his chest. And of course there are flames everywhere.

 

2. Duh dude. Me and my fucking cousin Jordy entered. Our band is called Jordy and gnardawgies. He fucking severed his spine in a surfing accident trying to ride a wave that some non locals thought was a party wave. He's cool about it though he still shreds and shit.

 

and i hope these yuppie shit head tourist realize this isn't a party wave dude.

 

muy fucking lame. is that the same Jordy from Demavore?? i'd be soooo fucking pissed bro.

 

yeah, but either way -- we're called Sids. Pretty much all our songs are in fucking DROP-D, so hopefully the judges aren't a bunch of prudes like last year. I just put some fat slinkies on the warlock though, so we should be all fucking cozy and whatever.