Episode 38 — Matt Gourley, Our Close Friend

[Freja 1290]

"Dunkin' Donuts" is both the best donut/coffee shop and is only appropriately called "Dunkies". Cumberland Farms is "Cumbies".

 

OMG thank you for mentioning CUMBIES-- my obsession with their gas station coffee knows no bounds-- I sadly go through a bag of their Farmhouse Blend grounds every week b/c I'm a cheap bitch and that shit's good I don't care what anyone says. The hamburger sandwich I'm with now isn't from around here and he's all cool and into like classy "good" food and "quality" coffee and he def doesn't "get" Cumbies.

 

Oh and I'm gonna be in CA in August for a bit. You make it sound so wonderful there so now I really can't wait to go!

 

But it'll be kinda cool to be in the mecca of where most of the HH-heads are . Feel like a bunch of you live on the West Coast. Except showshow and the PA dudes and burd but I think Cincinnati just swallowed that guy whole or sumthin or he got busy at the hospital with Jordy being in a coma and all.

 

Cool so let's talk some more about New England again some time. mwn never takes the bait so I got no one else at this point. We can take it to FB since everyone here is probably all "STFU" rite now. OH just realized BoB is from these parts too. Maybe I'll harass him next time I think of it!

[Spenny and the Jets 178]

jesus christ you leave here for a day and you have to read a novel to get caught up

[chanson 9697]

my gf is got offered a job in seattle and shes asking me to come with her for a year to try it out. ive been there and it was a nice city. That bar I went to though where I played basketball with heroin junkies, The Funhouse, the one you didn't know what I was talking about... just googled it, turns out its closed. So that might affect my decision.

 

if I don't go and she does ill tell her to leave me for you, so id say this whole situation is a win win for you.

 

PS if youre ever in South Florida and need anything, and I literally mean anything, hit me up and ill take you out and buy literal butt loads of drugs for you

 

I'm very conflicted about everything you said here. First, why would you go to a bar with heroin junkies in it? Were you looking for the authentic Nirvana vibe we used to have here in the '90s? Because that's long gone. You gotta go to Olympia or Bellingham to see non-trustifarian working-class chic types nowadays. However, they will still likely be upper middle class and white, just in between the suburbs and the painfully trendy gentrified urban neighborhoods they will end up in.

 

Second, I appreciate the offer of your girlfriend? I don't know how things work in Florida, but in Washington women are usually allowed some kind of say in such matters. Just so you know. Also, who says I want a girlfriend right now anyway?

 

Third, not a drug guy. Not even a little. It's a control thing.

 

Fourth, my uncle lives in Weston.

 

Fifth, I have two distinct memories of Broward County, both of which are in Fort Lauderdale. One time I went with my uncle and aunt to Las Olas. It was delightful and full of white people who spoke English, so I felt like I was at home except for how hot it was. Which is why my description is rather unremarkable. The other was with some friends at the Hooters on Fort Lauderdale Beach. I don't know how we got there or why.

[kobthatreal 5896]

 

I'm very conflicted about everything you said here. First, why would you go to a bar with heroin junkies in it? Were you looking for the authentic Nirvana vibe we used to have here in the '90s because that's long gone. You gotta go to Olympia or Bellingham to see non-trustifarian working-class chic types nowadays. However, they will still likely be upper middle class and white, just in between the suburbs and the painfully trendy gentrified urban neighborhoods they will end up in.

 

Second, I appreciate the offer of your girlfriend? I don't know how things work in Florida, but in Washington women are usually allowed some kind of say in such matters. Just so you know. Also, who says I want a girlfriend right now anyway?

 

Third, not a drug guy. Not even a little. It's a control thing.

 

Fourth, my uncle lives in Weston.

ok lets do this

1. it was for work and it was across the street from the hotel they put me in. couple blocks from that outer space needle.

2. i meant like id put in a good word for you, and my bad i hope i didn't just Pat Sajak situation.

3. more power to you, stay up

4. i play basketball out there sometime i think ive probably crossed him up a few times. does your uncle have a history of balance problems or did my handles just dismantle his ankles?

[chanson 9697]

My uncle's a tennis pro somewhere out there in addition to being an insurance and medical device sales representative. I don't think basketball is his thing.

 

You should just move out here with your girlfriend. We can become best friends! You'll have to kill my current best friend. But he's a dick, so I don't mind.

 

-----------------------

 

Tim, tell me about Android Auto. Please.

 

-----------------------

 

500th post, losers!

[gototimsvlogdotnet 2886]

Agata, I'm not liking your plane pic on FB. Sorry. I like most of the stuff you do on FB (let's "Face" it, you're a funny gal), but not that. #sorrynotsorry

[xoValeriexo 4369]

Anyone watching The Bachelorette? That pout Andi does anytime someone says something nice to her or when she kicks someone off is ridiculous. And I hate how she keeps saying "Now this is a man!" when a guy does something aggressively sexual.

 

Big Brother? I can't believe Ariana Grande's brother is on the show because she is like very, very famous and that makes him like very, very important. And he's a YouTube celeb, which is my favorite kind of celeb.

 

So You Think You Can Dance is also on. And I like it. Will you be my friend?

[Asteck 1250]

Yo MBoP, I'm watchin the Challenge Reunion and Johnny B just told Jordan "Confidence is silent; insecurity is loud," or something like that which inspired me to make this mistake of a post. Sorry, I've been having a few Gold Rushes. Anyway, the point is don't worry about people like'n/ commenting on your shit. You're one of the funniest dudes on here and if some things don't hit, who cares? Just post what you think is funny and forget about it cuz you're gonna whiff 100% of the jokes you're doubting. 'Likes' are prob the worst byproduct of online communication bc getting a lot feels like quantifiable appreciation of whatever you put out, but really there's weird shit involved with groups and individuals that either encourage or discourage them. It's really easy to feel like you fucked up cuz something you put out there didn't get likes, but really if you found it funny, you should just feel good that you tried to share something funny with friends, or in this forum's case, strangers who like the same podcast, and they just maybe didn't get it. Can't get them all every time. But if you wanna diffuse the audience after a stinker, just say " sorry, that was my joko ono, I had a really good rhythm going and that one really killed the beat..les." then shoot a finger gun to the prettiest girl in the audience and say "she knows what I'm talking about."That'll guaranteed bring'em back on your side.

For your script thing, I couldn't read it bc my manager told me that just being in the room with scripts where i have less than 75% of the lines, let alone reading them, would degrade my brand. So I couldn't do it. Sorry.

 

Tim Treese specifically telling Agata that he isn't liking something on fb totally proves the point I'm trying to make. smh.* Although, I gotta say it was really funny when whoever is the user Sydney Bristow, who has only ever posted to say they wanted one of the Garfunkel and Oates people on, liked a person saying how much more they like Gelmania than this show. That means they read these forums, don't contribute at all to them, but will sign in to specifically show that they think some other show is better. That's some good funny stuff imo.

 

*since I'm not saying no to myself in this regrettable moment, I was just going to bring up that I can never remember what smh stands for so I try to figure it out through its context and Suck my Hog is an option that always runs though my head and it works like 95% of the time.

[OcterDoctopus 1079]

No 2014 updates for Whodunnit, nor it's meticulously curated wikipedia page

[Freja 1290]

Anyone watching The Bachelorette? That pout Andi does anytime someone says something nice to her or when she kicks someone off is ridiculous. And I hate how she keeps saying "Now this is a man!" when a guy does something aggressively sexual.

 

Big Brother? I can't believe Ariana Grande's brother is on the show because she is like very, very famous and that makes him like very, very important. And he's a YouTube celeb, which is my favorite kind of celeb.

 

 

Super far behind on The Bachelorette (only 2 epis in) but planning to catch up this weekend. Will most def rehash my annoyances with you once I've done so. Really don't understand why she'd give up her job for this dumb show when the legal job market is so dismal right now (and for the long foreseeable future) but w/e, the potential to fall in love while bungee jumping is pretty tempting I guess.

 

A friend of mine went to college with and performed in the same dance troupe as AG's bro so I'll have to get some scoop on this cat.His website annoys me.

[Bozos of Basketball 3689]

OH just realized BoB is from these parts too. Maybe I'll harass him next time I think of it!

 

The cat (maybe one of ours that we posted) is out of the bag! I'm a BB (Boston Boy) since the day I was born. Dunkies (or Dunks) is p great but I'm actually more of a Honey Dew guy (whhaaaaaaaaaaat?!).

 

My dad's dad lived in Maine and I look back on those visits fondly.

 

New England is okay. And I think somebody posted about Tom Brady before and I wanted to respond but didn't because sometimes I just like reading OPP (other people's posts). He's sexy as hell, though.

 

[mwn 5470]

I have never in my life heard anyone say Dunkies and I feel like I'm going crazy!!! Or I live in a weird pocket where no one visits and we're all still using our own ca-raaAAAAaazy dialect like

where everyone still talks like Shakespeare or whatever. but I don't think that's right, honestly. more of a little joke than an actual suggestion.

[JacobCrites 4977]

I have a very important: when does Survivormans start, and does anyone on the forums watch it? I could use google but anyone can post stuff on google. It's like the Wikipedia of the internet

[greggy 15909]

Yo MBoP, I'm watchin the Challenge Reunion and Johnny B just told Jordan "Confidence is silent; insecurity is loud," or something like that which inspired me to make this mistake of a post. Sorry, I've been having a few Gold Rushes. Anyway, the point is don't worry about people like'n/ commenting on your shit. You're one of the funniest dudes on here and if some things don't hit, who cares? Just post what you think is funny and forget about it cuz you're gonna whiff 100% of the jokes you're doubting. 'Likes' are prob the worst byproduct of online communication bc getting a lot feels like quantifiable appreciation of whatever you put out, but really there's weird shit involved with groups and individuals that either encourage or discourage them. It's really easy to feel like you fucked up cuz something you put out there didn't get likes, but really if you found it funny, you should just feel good that you tried to share something funny with friends, or in this forum's case, strangers who like the same podcast, and they just maybe didn't get it. Can't get them all every time. But if you wanna diffuse the audience after a stinker, just say " sorry, that was my joko ono, I had a really good rhythm going and that one really killed the beat..les." then shoot a finger gun to the prettiest girl in the audience and say "she knows what I'm talking about."That'll guaranteed bring'em back on your side.

yeah nobody liked my posts for a long time but i stuck to it and now here i am today, a guy still posting on a forum where nobody liked him for a long time

[kobthatreal 5896]

thanks asteck. I was only joking about the likes and need for attention, but your words still resonated. I will shoot pretty girls with my fingers from now on..... Uh oh.. wait! I didn't mean it likethat. Actually, I don't think that was entendre.

 

Oh and "SMH" means Shuck My Husk. It's a Nebraska thing.

[Bozos of Basketball 3689]

MBoP, I'm sorry I haven't "liked" or commented on your HGT ep yet, but I just haven't read it.

 

To be perfectly candid, almost all of my forum activity is done at my desk at work, and I don't think I can download it here. Although I have made friends with the IT guy (always make friends with the IT guy) so I doubt I'd get busted if I did.

[chanson 9697]

Just made pasta for breakfast. That's the kind of privilege that you get when you have 500 posts.

[Gnarly Riff Dude 8]

Now this is fun

[Spenny and the Jets 178]

I found out that Hayes was on Jeopary on December 31st, 2009. Anyone have a video clip by any chance?

[Toby Keith Sweat 1000]

 

[fades back into the æther]

[Toby Keith Sweat 1000]

& i will be commenting on both scripts just as soon as the clock hits 5 and im no longer on company time. (to do so any sooner would constitute time theft and i respect my employer too damned much to steal from him)

[xoValeriexo 4369]

MBOP I haven't commented on your script yet because you posted it on a skeezy website, so I didn't read it because I'm mad at you for giving my computer a virus. Post it somewhere normal that doesn't try to trick me with fake download buttons.

 

I'll forgive you one day. But not today.

 

 

EDIT: And I'm sure I'll think it's really funny if you tried even a little bit because, like that ranting weirdo said, you're one of the funniest dudes on here.

 

Asteck: Is this a cry for help? Circle yes or no

[gototimsvlogdotnet 2886]

MBOP I haven't commented on your script yet because you posted it on a skeezy website, so I didn't read it because I'm mad at you for giving my computer a virus. Post it somewhere normal that doesn't try to trick me with fake download buttons.

 

I'll forgive you one day. But not today.

 

 

EDIT: And I'm sure I'll think it's really funny if you tried even a little bit because, like that ranting weirdo said, you're one of the funniest dudes on here.

 

Asteck: Is this a cry for help? Circle yes or no

 

 

PPL doesn't realize that you can share files publicly with Drive or Dropbox... Like smh why use the crappiest site in existence? Or email it to me and I'll host it on timsvlog.net.

[robinsbruce 4985]

Now that I know what smh means... motion to change smh to sm[redacted]?

 

I would like to move this to the floor for a vote.

[Asteck 1250]

yeah nobody liked my posts for a long time but i stuck to it and now here i am today, a guy still posting on a forum where nobody liked him for a long time

I look forward to reading some of greggland's best every morning. You've def come a long way. Remember when Matt Besser yelled at you? That was scary.

Oh and "SMH" means Shuck My Husk. It's a Nebraska thing.

I don't get corny jokes

 

 

Asteck: Is this a cry for help? Circle yes or no

I think it was mostly booze and getting caught up in the excitement of the Challenge finale/

seeing Zach wail like a baby

and I don't wanna tmi with rill life so... maybe. I wish I could say my life wasn't so far gone that I'm eating pasta for breakfast, but the first thing I ate today was leftover stroganoff and it was fuckin good! Wear that badge with pride Chanson.