Episode 55 — Lauren Lapkus, Our Close Friend

[Casaba 5942]

Whoa! Twelve pages. Well done, gang! That is some of the best forum posting that I've seen in a long time.

[Andrew 4646]

Whoa! Twelve pages. Well done, gang! That is some of the best forum posting that I've seen in a long time.

 

It's good, but not enough! LET'S HIT 250.

 

P.S. I saw Furry, it was OK but not great. Had a couple of gory bits that I guess were supposed to show the horror of war or w/e, but you can't play that card if you're also going to put in countless shots of Percy Jackson: The Lightning Thief mowing people down screaming "die Nazi motherfuckers".

 

I also couldn't work out if Furry the Tank was supposed to be alive like Herbie, it's head (with the long gun tube bit) moved around like it was looking around but there was never a shot of Brad Pitt using controls so I think the director was deliberately ambiguous on that point.

 

Overall, this movie is "tanks but no tanks" (but full disclosure there are tanks in this movie)

[alargebucket 1589]

I also couldn't work out if Furry the Tank was supposed to be alive like Herbie, it's head (with the long gun tube bit) moved around like it was looking around but there was never a shot of Brad Pitt using controls so I think the director was deliberately ambiguous on that point.

First off, let me just say that I was FURIOUS there were no actual furries in this movie. Not even a pelt to be seen just once! And Mr. Shia's moustache doesn't count, okay!? Could've been drawn on with a pencil! Such a Hollywood move. Tryna get butts in seats like that. My butt just about fell off when the credits rolled and I saw that title again! Argh!

 

But, anyway, you came to the same conclusion I did. As soon as the tank started spitting those huge loogies out of its anteater nose toward those people Bradley Pitts, Percy Jackson and Even Steven were so mad at, I was convinced. Clearly sentient. Like a good dog.

[xoValeriexo 4369]

Andrew, 250? You think we can reach 250? Do people even check the HH page on Mondays? And did you even consider suggesting a theme that would get people a-talking? Deep sigh. I just don't think we're gonna be able to do this.

 

Unless...

 

Anyone have a juicy molestation story they wanna share?

 

Or...

 

A tragic past they wanna re-live?

 

Maybe...

 

A really embarrassing fart story?

[Mia Longoria 15]

I'd love to be apart of this conversation but unfortunately I have never been molested and had a pretty good upbringing. I totally suck.

[Andrew 4646]

Twenty posts in four hours, it can be done!

 

I don't have any stories about those topics, though. I would make a poor improv4humans guest.

 

We just have to reach out for sure thing stories, like so:

 

Joe McGurl, have you had to kiss a lady in an acting? What was that like?

 

SSB, what is the biggest fish you have fished?

 

Tim, what screen resolution is your computer?

 

BRR, what is your favourite kind of potato?

[Joe McGurl 8358]

Andrew, 250? You think we can reach 250? Do people even check the HH page on Mondays? And did you even consider suggesting a theme that would get people a-talking? Deep sigh. I just don't think we're gonna be able to do this.

 

Unless...

 

Anyone have a juicy molestation story they wanna share?

 

Or...

 

A tragic past they wanna re-live?

 

Maybe...

 

A really embarrassing fart story?

 

One time I got a very juicy smoothie and it spilled all over me which was quite the tragedy and then my Uncle came up from behind and molested me but I was covered in all that juice farting the whole time which was REALLY embarrassing. I was just thinking, "Come on, Joe, you can't even get molested without letting out a few toots." That was the day that I decided to change my diet so I was less gassy. I give that day a 7 out of 10 overall.

[NiceDad43 86]

When a problem comes along

you speak on that

Before the cream sets out too long

you speak on that

When something's goin' wrong

you speak on that

 

Read more: Devo - Speak on That | MetroLyrics

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

250=no problem. We got a random 75 degree day in late october here in Wisconsin so I am sitting on my porch in short sleeves with my laptop listening to music and drinking bourbon. I will gladly engage in (soon to be half drunken) conversation with anyone

[Asteck 1250]

One time I was in a Borders Cafe teetering back on my chair and I lost my balance and really loudly went "whhooaa whhoaaa" for like 3 full seconds before falling backwards. Later when I went to the bathroom a group of japanese girls all pointed at me and laughed. I'm glad Borders closed so nobody else has to experience that kind of embarrassment.

 

Also thank you to anybody who liked that post with terrible economics "jokes" in it. I also irl majored in economics and feel obligated to trot out how I had to learn about the ricardian equivalence once, even though typing that out felt like my fingers and the keyboard keys were repelling each other like similarly poled magnets.

 

Oh! I thought of a better embarrassing experience. Once I went to a Halloween CDR that Jon Daly was hosting as zappity-tappity(a human christmas tree) and he had green face paint on. I had to sit in the front row and he came around putting the microphone in everybody's face. I thought I would be really smart and say something hilarious so when he came to me I asked if goblins got offended when he wore green-face and that really pissed him off and he spent the rest of the show making fun of me every chance he got. I learned a lot about the roles of audience members and hosts that night. And I'll never forget it.

[Casaba 5942]

250=no problem. We got a random 75 degree day in late october here in Wisconsin so I am sitting on my porch in short sleeves with my laptop listening to music and drinking bourbon. I will gladly engage in (soon to be half drunken) conversation with anyone

 

ajz, have any real Wisconsiny stories, perhaps a comedic story involving some cheese curds?

Bonus question, what is the best part of Wisconsin to visit, if I were to visit?

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

 

ajz, have any real Wisconsiny stories, perhaps a comedic story involving some cheese curds?

Bonus question, what is the best part of Wisconsin to visit, if I were to visit?

 

Wisconsin has lots of great areas! Being from Milwaukee I am partial to this fine city, but Madison is a really cool college town, and "up north" is pretty great if you are a fan of outdoor recreation (Im not especially--i get freaked out if Im too far from civilization/city noises/an internet connection/etc for very long, but I dont mind a random short camping trip every now and then.) As long as you avoid the area north of milwaukee through the south of green bay which is a stretch of conservative suburban shitholes, I think it is a pretty decent state as far as flyover states go.

 

Sadly, even though Ive traveled quite a bit, other than living in Europe for 3 years Wisconsin life is the only life in America Ive ever lived on a day in/day out basis, so I cant come up with any overly Wisconsiny stories--cheese curds/ridiculous accents/etc have simply become woven into the fabric of who I am, so I dont even really notice them anymore.

 

Do you have any comedic stories involving any foodstuffs?

[robinsbruce 4985]

Overall, this movie is "tanks but no tanks" (but full disclosure there are tanks in this movie)

 

um, I think you mean tanks or no tanks. yeeeeeeahhh.

 

There's nothing I like more than cooking off a couple of monster loads, of red baby russet potatoes.

 

Would anyone else just get crazy amped if sean and hayes did an occasional, like monthly, RSS? Like a two-charted but less frequent. Man, i'm sittin in a puddle just thinking about it.

[Charlie Murphy Brown 4977]

out at the car show with gramps. damn skimpy we brought the O2 tanks. No tanks weren't an option. Is swap meets movies? Like a raunchy cheech & chong. I second the motion

 

[Casaba 5942]

Do you have any comedic stories involving any foodstuffs?

 

I'm sure I must, but I can't think of any right now. God, what life have I lived that I can't thinking of a humorous anecdote involving food?! Ok. I'll make one up and I'll incorporate a fart for Valerie.

 

I once went to Montreal and as soon as I got there all I could think of was getting some poutine. I was craving poutine so hard. My friend told me about a great cafe that serves "the best poutine" she's ever had. So, I get the address from her, but when I get there that corner of the street is a huge construction site. So, I pull out my phone to look up the cafe to see if it's moved. I drop my phone as I pull it out of my pocket and it starts to fall into the construction site. As I bend down to catch it, I ripped a huge fart (I was holding it in all day after I had a huge coffee with cream that morning). I thought maybe no one heard, due to all of the loud construction noises, but sure enough I look over at the construction workers and they are all looking at me and laughing. There's about 6 dudes there. I ask them if they will grab my phone for me, since it is on the other side of the fence in the construction site. They ask what I'm going to do for them in return. I tell them to fuck off and jump over the fence to grab my phone. I grabbed my phone and stand up to see through the fence that across the street is the poutine place I was searching for all along. I purposefully ripped another huge fart, kicked the fence down and stomped across the street to fill my face with poutine. The construction workers yelled and cursed me as I stomped away.

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

 

I'm sure I must, but I can't think of any right now. God, what life have I lived that I can't thinking of a humorous anecdote involving food?! Ok. I'll make one up and I'll incorporate a fart for Valerie.

 

I once went to Montreal and as soon as I got there all I could think of was getting some poutine. I was craving poutine so hard. My friend told me about a great cafe that serves "the best poutine" she's ever had. So, I get the address from her, but when I get there that corner of the street is a huge construction site. So, I pull out my phone to look up the cafe to see if it's moved. I drop my phone as I pull it out of my pocket and it starts to fall into the construction site. As I bend down to catch it, I ripped a huge fart (I was holding it in all day after I had a huge coffee with cream that morning). I thought maybe no one heard, due to all of the loud construction noises, but sure enough I look over at the construction workers and they are all looking at me and laughing. There's about 6 dudes there. I ask them if they will grab my phone for me, since it is on the other side of the fence in the construction site. They ask what I'm going to do for them in return. I tell them to fuck off and jump over the fence to grab my phone. I grabbed my phone and stand up to see through the fence that across the street is the poutine place I was searching for all along. I purposefully ripped another huge fart, kicked the fence down and stomped across the street to fill my face with poutine. The construction workers yelled and cursed me as I stomped away.

 

 

closed circuit TV footage of said fence kicking/general destruction

[alargebucket 1589]

Would anyone else just get crazy amped if sean and hayes did an occasional, like monthly, RSS? Like a two-charted but less frequent. Man, i'm sittin in a puddle just thinking about it.

Yes... That's what I'm saying! Make it a segment on the Book! Hollywoods IS reality, you know. A little off-brand taste of their U.S. patents pending askew reality show view couldn't hurt... What I wouldn't give for a little Dating Naked talk. From two guys who are blessed with a certain "desirable" male attribute, you know, ...physically the way Sean and Hayes are? Forget it! They're the real experts here. They know what it's like to have to just lay it all out there. They know what it is to be treated like piece of dang meat in front of the viewing publics and all their mothers and grandmothers.

[rod aug 5637]

It's my last Halloween in new england, am I supposed to be sad? Because I'm not. One thing I will miss up here is egg nog though. It's like turbulent juice of the gods.

[Casaba 5942]

It's my last Halloween in new england, am I supposed to be sad? Because I'm not. One thing I will miss up here is egg nog though. It's like turbulent juice of the gods.

 

Where are you going?

[Freja 1290]

It's my last Halloween in new england, am I supposed to be sad? Because I'm not. One thing I will miss up here is egg nog though. It's like turbulent juice of the gods.

 

whatta traitah you ah

 

[takehomejoke 670]

I hope your poutine story is true, Anastasia Vigo. I went to an all-night poutine place in Montreal once but we chickened out and just got fries. Poutine is not for the faint of heart

[Andrew 4646]

Frejakp? Does that stand for Freja Keep Posting? I think it does, because I need that sweet TWO HUNDO FIDDY!

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

I hope your poutine story is true, Anastasia Vigo. I went to an all-night poutine place in Montreal once but we chickened out and just got fries. Poutine is not for the faint of heart

yummm poutine...i still have dreams of/clogged arteries from the smoked meat sandwiches I ate in montreal. so good

[Casaba 5942]

I've never actually been to Montreal, but I want to go someday. And I've never had poutine because I'm vegetarian. I've heard that there's veggie poutine out there, but it's not as good. Eh, I'll have to try it someday anyway.

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

250