Episode 55 — Lauren Lapkus, Our Close Friend

[Mia Longoria 15]

Valerie, I love your eff-ing classy literary work. Well done, m'lady!

 

I had a rough day today at work, so I wrote a completely true autobiographical short story about it:

https://www.scribd.c...a-Vigo-s-Friday

Oh my gosh, I loved it! I wish I could be half this badass during my work day! I'm also pretty jealous of your toned, tattooed arms.

[rod aug 5637]

I'm pouring one out for Ask Agata right now

 

 

never forget

[alargebucket 1589]

PS - VB, you have awakened a writing DEMON within me and I love it!

THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!!!

 

Regna terrae, cantata Deo, psallite Cernunnos,

Regna terrae, cantata Dea psallite Aradia.

caeli Deus, Deus terrae,

Humiliter majestati gloriae tuae supplicamus

Ut ab omni infernalium spirituum potestate,

Laqueo, and deceptione nequitia,

Omnis fallaciae, libera nos, dominates.

Exorcizamus you omnis immundus spiritus

Omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio,

Infernalis adversarii, omnis legio,

Omnis and congregatio secta diabolica.

Ab insidiis diaboli, libera nos, dominates,

Ut coven tuam secura tibi libertate servire facias,

Te rogamus, audi nos!

Ut inimicos sanctae circulae humiliare digneris,

Te rogamus, audi nos!

Terribilis Deus Sanctuario suo,

Cernunnos ipse truderit virtutem plebi Suae,

Aradia ipse fortitudinem plebi Suae.

Benedictus Deus, Gloria Patri,

Benedictus Dea, Matri gloria!

 

[Joe McGurl 8358]

https://www.scribd.c...lywood-Handbook

 

Shakespeare, babay!

 

I have a theater degree and am a classically trained Shakespearean actor and I can confirm that this is better than any of that junk Billy Shakes ever wrote. Veebs is the new bard. Bow down before her greatness

[Andrew 4646]

AAAHH! LOOK BEHIND YOU EVERYONE, IT'S COCHRANE'S MOM!

 

Lol just kidding. You've just been pranked by the best.

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

AAAHH! LOOK BEHIND YOU EVERYONE, IT'S COCHRANE'S MOM!

 

Lol just kidding. You've just been pranked by the best.

still my favorite HH episode, non stop loffs all the ways through...

 

-"We're The Millers"

-tarantula bite dude's dick

-cochran unable to comprehend why a skellington is so frightening and hayes responding "Have you ever seen that before?" in the greatest tone of voice I have ever heard

-the spooky sounds s&h make in the background when cochran is talking about his mom

-"is her head is a skull?"

-"When you're writing TV with your mom, in a rocking chair together.."

 

I could keep typing--but long story short, I never get tired of relistening to this episode and Im jealous JacobC bought the pro version that week

 

 

sorry to go off topic, but I get irrationally excited whenever someone brings up that episode.

-

[Bozos of Basketball 3689]

VB I tried to read your script on mobile but it only let me read three out of four pages, I assume everyone dies at the end though like in real Shakespeare.

 

This is true. It told me I had to download an app to read page 4. So I did. Well, not me. I had my little cousin Cleanthony fiddle with my phone and figure out how to get the app in there and search for VB Shakes. It was worth it. A lot happens on page 4.

[Toby Keith Sweat 1000]

great episode as usual. i was inspired by the boys' discussion of the book freakynomics and decided i should sit down and watch it myself. so i headed out to my local theater where they told me that i was "dumb as dick" and to go to a "book store" which I did and HOLY COW. what a place!! i absolutely cleaned up!

 

 

so in conclusion, i give Book Stores a solid 4 out of 5 stars. the minus one star is because all the movies have so many subtitles (snoooooooze)

[NiceDad43 86]

still my favorite HH episode, non stop loffs all the ways through...

 

-"We're The Millers"

-tarantula bite dude's dick

-cochran unable to comprehend why a skellington is so frightening and hayes responding "Have you ever seen that before?" in the greatest tone of voice I have ever heard

-the spooky sounds s&h make in the background when cochran is talking about his mom

-"is her head is a skull?"

-"When you're writing TV with your mom, in a rocking chair together.."

 

I could keep typing--but long story short, I never get tired of relistening to this episode and Im jealous JacobC bought the pro version that week

 

 

sorry to go off topic, but I get irrationally excited whenever someone brings up that episode.

-

 

i do not think i have listened to that one yet, and now i will. thanks for the recommendation and enthusiasm my man

 

i do not know if it will top my friend jordan morris' episode, but i'll give anything a fair shake

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

 

i do not think i have listened to that one yet, and now i will. thanks for the recommendation and enthusiasm my man

 

i do not know if it will top my friend jordan morris' episode, but i'll give anything a fair shake

"my close friend", jordan morris you mean

[NiceDad43 86]

well i don't want to reopen old wounds, but let's just say someone's been suspiciously unavailable for coffee ever since they got their "hollywood handbump"

[skizelo 2536]

the freakonomics guys? i think they're shit! boo to you, freakonicians! boooO!

[Andrew 4646]

So imagine that your boyfriend and your dad have a Freaky Friday-style mind switch, and for some reason you have to do it with one of them. Do you pick the boyfriend-body/dad-mind, or dad-body/boyfriend-mind? (Please substitute for girlfriends, moms, etc as appropriate).

 

I was pilloried by classmates for saying I would pick the mum-body/girlfriend-mind one, but that seems the moral choice, right?

 

Please discuss.

[RyanWright 713]

Emergency: Attention all.

I drove into town this morning to buy some supplies from a Wal-Mart and barely escaped with my life. An entire section of the store was overrun with Frankensteins, Draculars, Mummies, and all sorts of ghosts and ghouls. Luckily there were a bunch of little kids there that I was able to use as human shields and I made it out of there. Please, for your own sake stay away from Wal-Marts

[Joe McGurl 8358]

Emergency: Attention all.

I drove into town this morning to buy some supplies from a Wal-Mart and barely escaped with my life. An entire section of the store was overrun with Frankensteins, Draculars, Mummies, and all sorts of ghosts and ghouls. Luckily there were a bunch of little kids there that I was able to use as human shields and I made it out of there. Please, for your own sake stay away from Wal-Marts

 

praying 4 u

[kobthatreal 5896]

When I go to earwolf.com on my computer the home page is now episode 42 of the wolf den with Paul Scheer... I'll let u guys make up some theory's but it's pretty safe to say Jeff Ultra Rich and Cody Electro are involved. Scheer had some beef with the boys earlier and he still hasn't been on the show even though we asked some really good popcorn questions... So he might be in on this too. I'm just sick of this feuding, someone's gonna get hurt... And as awesome as it would be to hear Hayes rapping about "5 shots couldn't drop me, I took it n smiled," I don't want to risk any lives

[xoValeriexo 4369]

So imagine that your boyfriend and your dad have a Freaky Friday-style mind switch, and for some reason you have to do it with one of them. Do you pick the boyfriend-body/dad-mind, or dad-body/boyfriend-mind? (Please substitute for girlfriends, moms, etc as appropriate).

 

I was pilloried by classmates for saying I would pick the mum-body/girlfriend-mind one, but that seems the moral choice, right?

 

Please discuss.

 

Your classmates who said they'd have sex with the girlfriend body-mom mind are basically saying "yeah, I'd have sex with my mom.. if she was hot." And they're sickos.

 

With that said, I reject your scenario because nuh-uh, no way jose, and ew.

[rod aug 5637]

When I go to earwolf.com on my computer the home page is now episode 42 of the wolf den with Paul Scheer... I'll let u guys make up some theory's but it's pretty safe to say Jeff Ultra Rich and Cody Electro are involved. Scheer had some beef with the boys earlier and he still hasn't been on the show even though we asked some really good popcorn questions... So he might be in on this too. I'm just sick of this feuding, someone's gonna get hurt... And as awesome as it would be to hear Hayes rapping about "5 shots couldn't drop me, I took it n smiled," I don't want to risk any lives

hmmmm yessss this happened to me too. i figured the wolf denizens hacked my macbook and planted some spooky virus.

[alargebucket 1589]

Emergency: Attention all.

I drove into town this morning to buy some supplies from a Wal-Mart and barely escaped with my life. An entire section of the store was overrun with Frankensteins, Draculars, Mummies, and all sorts of ghosts and ghouls. Luckily there were a bunch of little kids there that I was able to use as human shields and I made it out of there. Please, for your own sake stay away from Wal-Marts

Folks, I don't mean to alarm you, but I have a disturbing update. In heeding Mr. Junk's prudent warning as I made my errands this evening, I happened upon a most dreadful discovery: the Frankensteins, Draculars, Mummies, Skellingtons and aforementioned assortments of spooky ghosts and ghouls have gained even further ground in their plot to rule October. I can now confirm that they have set up permanent military offensive outposts in all greater metropolitan CVS, WALGREENS, DUANE READE, K-MART, MICHAEL'S, TARGET, POTTERY BARN and RITE AID outlets. I repeat, all nationwide pharmaceutical, convenience and home decor chains have been overtaken by these vicious and terrible creatures! The employees do not appear alarmed and may even attempt to use calming words or restraining action as you rid their storehouse of these evil demons with a canister of hairspray and a common propane lighter, but I assure you THEY TOO ARE IN ON THIS NEW APOCALYPSE!

 

DO NOT VISIT THESE PLACES LEST YOU WISH TO LOSE LIFE OR LIMB. Other than a nest of humongous spiders in the window of my local Walgreens, there are usually no external signs of these stores' inundation. It is only after entering that you are thrust upon by these barbaric, monstrous works of Satan. And though the 7-11's may appear safe, I assure you they are the spookiest of all. I saw them peddle shriveled human digits and frozen blood ice for a gruesome combination deal of $6.66. They even offer blood paste, fecal matter and boil puss as a series of sinister complimentary condiments. CLICK BELOW TO SEE THIS GHASTLY OFFERING IF YOU DARE!

 

 

 

 

 

[gototimsvlogdotnet 2886]

And a what up, what up to my HH friendos. Good Sunday evening, and let's get ready for this coming week. I'm excited about the new eps of the p-casts that we all love, plus I have week 6 out of 7 in my improv class tomorrow night. It's going well, thanks for (not) asking me about it! Level 2 coming up right after Level 1 concludes.

 

Agata, you've been more silent these past few weeks. Looks like on FB you're busy with travel or whatevs. Fun stuff? Keep us up to date, hon. Chanson didn't and we all freaked out, you included.

 

Sorry, I woudl attach a selfie or a sticker buut this is Earwolf forums and not FB Messenger. BTW if anyone ever wants some sick selfie (or selfie videos) or stickers, hit me up on FB Messenger.

 

And a good bye, good bye, as this concludes my Forum update!

 

edit: woah just noticed my beginner's mistake of posting at the bottom of a page. Wow, also, just noticed that we're up to 220 replies. This might be top 3 HH! I had that Google Doc but I haven't updated it in months...

[Joe McGurl 8358]

Great stuff, Tim. Thanks

[Andrew 4646]

I saw a terrifying documentary about ghouls, it had a ghoul that would eat human food, and a ghoul that was a huge marshmallow man, and a ghoul that made Sigourney Weaver DTF Rick Moranis. Please stay safe at this time of year.

[Zsinjeh 1677]

lol posting on the bottom of a thread...yikes

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

I saw a terrifying documentary about ghouls, it had a ghoul that would eat human food, and a ghoul that was a huge marshmallow man, and a ghoul that made Sigourney Weaver DTF Rick Moranis. Please stay safe at this time of year.

did the ghoul have a mouth full of hot dogs? terrifying.

[takehomejoke 670]

still my favorite HH episode, non stop loffs all the ways through...

 

-"We're The Millers"

-tarantula bite dude's dick

-cochran unable to comprehend why a skellington is so frightening and hayes responding "Have you ever seen that before?" in the greatest tone of voice I have ever heard

-the spooky sounds s&h make in the background when cochran is talking about his mom

-"is her head is a skull?"

-"When you're writing TV with your mom, in a rocking chair together.."

 

I could keep typing--but long story short, I never get tired of relistening to this episode and Im jealous JacobC bought the pro version that week

 

 

sorry to go off topic, but I get irrationally excited whenever someone brings up that episode.

-

 

"Skellington is like bones, but it's a bone man that will jump around and....make....clattering dances"