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JulyDiaz

EPISODE 104.5 — Minisode 104.5

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Sure, but if you cut it down to 1:20, you'd lose:

 

1) all those sweet, sweet comedy scenes, like ... like ...

2) the scene where abusive RAGECOP pours over security footage from the bus station

3) the other scene where abusive RAGECOP pours over security footage from the bus station

4) the other scene where abusive RAGECOP pours over security footage from the bus station, then bullies the other cop (his partner?) about it

5) the other scene where abusive RAGECOP pours over security footage from the bus station, then drives down to ask the clerk how many stops between Boston and Atlanta (here's a hint: a lot!)

6) the scene where RAGECOP belligerently questions his own neighbor - who he doesn't know - by showing pictures of his wife, AKA the woman who lives across the street

7) the other scene where RAGECOP belligerently questions his own neighbor - who he doesn't know - by showing pictures of his wife, AKA the woman who lives across the street

8) the scene where RAGECOP breaks into the neighbor's house - while she is home - to listen to her answering machine (we all have those in the 2010s) and magically match up the message with the caller ID in about .0003 seconds

 

If anything this movie should have run longer. I myself could have done with more back and forth on the wisdom of painting the floor (the fuck?) of a dilapidated-but-oh-so-available rustic cottage in the woods.

 

This is the best thing ever. I'm telling you RAGECOP was acting his ass off in this, he really thought he was going to breakout after this role.

 

As someone struggling to pay rent in a tiny ass room, her being able to get a house for basically free (albeit with a magic floor and ghoslie smolders) really pissed me off.

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As someone struggling to pay rent in a tiny ass room, her being able to get a house for basically free (albeit with a magic floor and ghoslie smolders) really pissed me off.

 

Don't forget all those free possums!

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Having seen others post on this film, I decided that I wouldn't be able to watch it without harming myself. I settled for the Official Spoileriffic Wikipedia Plot Summary. While reading this I still had to pinch myself to stop losing concentration.

 

You could not pay me to watch this. Everyone involved in the production can fuck right off.

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Which 80's movie would you rather see? Rage Cop, or Ghost Mom?

How "Ghost Mom" with Phylicia Rashad didn't happen in about 1991 or so, I'll never know!

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But then she paints the floor?! You don't.. you don't paint the floor. It's cool that it was magical paint that sealed up the possum hole, but you still end up with yellow paint on your wooden floor.

 

Only in the kitchen, though. And even then you manage to step in it before it dries.

 

Duhamel comes over and says something like, "I wasn't sure about the yellow, but it works." The yellow was the part he was unsure of. Not the fact that she is painting the rotted floor of an abandoned shack in the Carolina woods.

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  • This couple needs to chill with the making out in public. That is WAY past first-date making out!
  • This is supposed to be North Carolina in July, right? Then why is the cop the only guy sweating?

 

She went from "afraid to trust a man" to "enveloping him with her thighs on a post first date kiss" after one canoe date. Clearly I am taking my dates to do the wrong water sports.

 

By the climax of the film, RaGeCoP looked like Tom Hanks at the end of Philadelphia if he had just finished running a marathon. Everyone else looked like it was 68 degrees outside the entire time. Even Duhamel, who spent his summer in NC wearing long sleeve Henleys every day.

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The question I not, "When" nor, "Where", but the rel question is, "Why?"

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This movie would be much better backwards. Then it would be the tale of a woman's ghost returning from the afterlife/Heaven to push away a dangerous drifter who lives in the woods away from her surviving family.

 

Opening: ghost of a wife and mother sees a strange woman swinging on her swing. Who is this woman, and will she be good her kids? Cut to the adulterous blonde drifter woman kissing the ghost's husband next to a corpse, with their young daughter watching, surrounded by the flames of the business the ghost had worked so hard to build with her family.

 

Then the drifter (and perky destroyer of lives) climbs on top of her dead husband, and using dark magics brings him back to life. Her resurrected husband uses his magic zippo to capture an out of control fire, heroically saving the store and the owner's child. The blonde demon's husband returns to Boston PD, and he's given his gun back, because it turns out he's an okay cop after all.

 

Around the same time, the adulterous blonde drifter chick is discovered by her lover to be wanted by the FBI, so after he shows her a poster of her as a murder suspect, he goes to the police station like a good citizen and posts it on the bulletin board.

 

Then they have sex where presumably he calls her the wrong name, and go on a few dates, but gradually grown more and more distant. Finally, the rejected castoff in the woods scrapes paint off the floor of her shack and returns it to her now-estranged lover's store. He refunds her money out of forced politeness, and she buys a bus ticket back to her husband, who's been drinking less and less lately, and seems to be on a good path.

 

Foreshadowing for sequel:

The unstable drifter woman stops at her old lunatic neighbors. The drifter dyes her hair dark adds hair extensions, and splashes blood all over her. Good cop's wife is coming home...

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I started watching this trash on Sunday. I'm pretty sure it's the most boring and worst paced film they've done, couldn't tolerate it all in one sitting. I go back to netflix today and it's no longer streaming. I know I shouldn't be upset since I'm saving myself from 40 more minutes of suffering, but I'm strangely bummed out that now I'll never finish it.

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I started watching this trash on Sunday. I'm pretty sure it's the most boring and worst paced film they've done, couldn't tolerate it all in one sitting. I go back to netflix today and it's no longer streaming. I know I shouldn't be upset since I'm saving myself from 40 more minutes of suffering, but I'm strangely bummed out that now I'll never finish it.

 

That's the biggest problem with this movie, there is so much shitty, shitty filler that is boring as all hell.

 

"How about a 15 minute segment about him giving her a bike? Sound good?"

 

The last 40 minutes is actually exciting part, so see if you can find it somewhere else and finish it, because that's when it gets REALLY bonkers.

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I think the bike got abandoned, I know the canoe did.

 

Does Mrs. Ghost send them home? "'s'alright, I got a ghost'll come pick it up."

 

"Why are you so late?" "It was raining." "You were ten minutes away!"

 

Why did they bother getting in a boat to set off the fireworks? They were ten feet from the dock (if you think about it, Alex burned his own place down).

 

Did you notice the gas pump foreshadowing when Lexie vaguely mentions police? "Hey everybody, Lasse here--just want you know there's a gas pump adjacent to the store. I'll see you all in a bit."

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Why did they bother getting in a boat to set off the fireworks? They were ten feet from the dock (if you think about it, Alex burned his own place down).

 

If you've never lit fireworks from a boat then you haven't truly lived.

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This movie would be much better backwards. Then it would be the tale of a woman's ghost returning from the afterlife/Heaven to push away a dangerous drifter who lives in the woods away from her surviving family.

 

Opening: ghost of a wife and mother sees a strange woman swinging on her swing. Who is this woman, and will she be good her kids? Cut to the adulterous blonde drifter woman kissing the ghost's husband next to a corpse, with their young daughter watching, surrounded by the flames of the business the ghost had worked so hard to build with her family.

 

Then the drifter (and perky destroyer of lives) climbs on top of her dead husband, and using dark magics brings him back to life. Her resurrected husband uses his magic zippo to capture an out of control fire, heroically saving the store and the owner's child. The blonde demon's husband returns to Boston PD, and he's given his gun back, because it turns out he's an okay cop after all.

 

Around the same time, the adulterous blonde drifter chick is discovered by her lover to be wanted by the FBI, so after he shows her a poster of her as a murder suspect, he goes to the police station like a good citizen and posts it on the bulletin board.

 

Then they have sex where presumably he calls her the wrong name, and go on a few dates, but gradually grown more and more distant. Finally, the rejected castoff in the woods scrapes paint off the floor of her shack and returns it to her now-estranged lover's store. He refunds her money out of forced politeness, and she buys a bus ticket back to her husband, who's been drinking less and less lately, and seems to be on a good path.

 

This is an excellent movie. I would watch this many, many times.

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Oh I just meant that it's implied you're using a boat to be a safe distance from dry land.

 

But that's logic and this is......Safe Haven.

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Why did they bother getting in a boat to set off the fireworks? They were ten feet from the dock (if you think about it, Alex burned his own place down).

 

 

 

 

What could possibly go wrong lighting fireworks on boat, 10 feet from a gas station?

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Oh, and back on topic... Did anyone else hear the name Josh Duhamel and get him mixed up with Jay Baruchel, and wonder what the hell he'd be doing in this movie?

 

Jay Baruchel would have definitely changed the dynamic, but damn I do love him.

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