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JulyDiaz

EPISODE 112 — Jupiter Ascending

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Regarding the elephant headed pilot - they actually address him as "Nesh" short for Ganesh. An elephant may make a questionable pilot but the eternal remover of obstacles would be awesome at it.

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This episode hurt me. Not because it was bad but because the podcast was full of "why the f did they not catch that" when they were complaining about the plot.

 

Most of their sibling questions were explained. The fact that the Keepers monitor for Recurrences. They didn't even notice that feather beard and Korean pigtail girl worked for Balem then betrayed him to deliver Jupiter to Kalique.

 

Oh. And the complaint about the "I've always loved dogs." She was saying it AGAIN in a mortified Did I Really Say That To Him? tone.

 

Yeah. My one major plot problem was Bees Sense Royalty. Most of the other stuff they complained about plot wise was there in the movie, but it went completely over their heads.

 

This episode needed June. I feel like she would've caught that embarrassed WTF tone Mila had after the I've Always Loved Dogs scene.

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Three things that I should have posted weeks ago:

 

1) Stinger DID look like a bee. He has black/yellow striped bee hair. It is very subtle, but it's there. You can see it best when you see the back of his head. In the concept art it was way more obvious and bee-like, but they toned it down a bit. I didn't notice it the first time I saw it (nor can you tell in any of the still images I can find online).

 

2) I think Mila Kunis (or Jupiter Jones) is allergic to dogs. One of her eyes is half-closed pretty much throughout the movie. I know she has a lazy eye or whatever, but this was more like a legit allergic reaction. It really bothered me throughout this movie, and I don't know if it's a permanent condition because I've never noticed it any of her other movies. My opinion is that it's because she was too close to Caine for too long.

 

3) They talk about the Abraxis family as controlling the "market" for planets or whatever. But they treat it like it's some sort of financial institution. There's no actual product except for the regeneration goo they get once they harvest the planet. Why would anybody else in the universe care about this, then? How does this benefit anybody except the Abraxi? Are they SELLING this product to other people? This might have been discussed on this forum already, but this part was very confusing to me.

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hilarious episode. i was working while listening so i just didn't notice the whole pronunciation debacle. if anybody hasnt seen this and is thinking about it, just go buy it. you'll thank me later.

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I just want to begin this post by saying how much I love this show. I just got back from working in rural Kenya for four weeks so I've been off the grid for the release of Jupiter Ascending, TMNT II: Secret of the Ooze, and Runaway. While I was sweating away at night in the protection of my mosquito net, I would listen to old episodes that I had happened to save on my PC before I left any form of internet behind. I listened to Street Fighter probably six times, I still lose my shit every time June asks "What, exactly, is a Street Fighter". When I listened to the intro to TMNT2 I got emotional because I was so happy June was back. I know that is insane, but I don't care, I love HDTGM.

 

I'm posting in Jupiter Ascending because the very first movie I watched when I returned to civilization...was this piece of garbage. I watched this movie on my plane ride from Nairobi to Dubai, and selected it over various phenomenal options like Avengers 2, Live Die Repeat, and Inherent Vice. Kenya Airways even stocks great classics like Goodfellas, Casablanca, and When Harry Met Sally. All of which I could have spent two hours enjoying, but instead I spent my first hours back on the grid watching Channing Tatum sky ice-skate his way in to Mila Kunis' pants. Other than brilliant visuals, this movie makes absolutely no sense. I still cannot figure out why Sean Beane was mad at Tatum, then friends with him, then sold him out, then joined forces with him again, and somewhere in there was a throw away line about the daughter who left to get groceries and of course never came back. And I know they touched on it in the episode but I was furious with how unphased Jupiter was with being called "your majesty" by everyone. It was literally all I could do to not yell at the screen and wake up all the normal, sleeping passengers around me. Also, I'm sure people were annoyed by me unintentionally belting out laughs at the way Channing Tatum swings his arms back and forth as he roller-derbies his way out of trouble. I absolutely agree that he must have realized this was a huge mistake on like the second day of shooting.

 

In conclusion this movie was terrible and I love HDTGM. Thank you Jason, Paul and June and all the interns and guests for giving us this great free show. In fact, I love this show so much, I'm sitting in my hotel room in Dubai right now, watching HDTGM great Jean Claude Van Dam and Dennis Rodman tear it up in the classic film, Double Team.

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Somebody make a supercut of all the MY-LA / MEE-LA back-and-forth action.

 

And then launch it into the sun so that nobody has to listen to it.

This made laugh like an idiot.

 

What a movie.

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