EPISODE 113.5 — Minisode 113.5

[seanotron 2307]

I just finished this movie this morning, and I have to say, that it is probably my second favorite movie about a police officer suffering from acrophobia.

 

And that kiss over the credits ...man, that just gets uncomfortable. I think if it beats Vertigo in any regard, it has to be in its portrayal of cinema's most awkward onscreen kiss.

 

 

This gif is a woman realizing she's fallen in love with the guy she was paid to psychologically torture and she's going to have to commit fake suicide in front of him which will probably drive him insane.

 

On the other hand, at the end of Runaway we see a woman who has just realized she's a beard for a guy that really, really wants to have sex with his housekeeping robot.

[Cameron H. 23786]

On the other hand, at the end of Runaway we see a woman who has just realized she's a beard for a guy that really, really wants to have sex with his housekeeping robot.

 

So...you're saying it's more like this sham of a marriage?

 

 

Jane, get me off of this crazy thing indeed...

 

(In the interest of keeping the forums family friendly, I picked a pretty tame Jetsons pic, but, for those of you so inclined, there are some real interesting options out there for you...)

[Juggermax 75]

Two of the possibly greatest potential villains ever were unceremoniously killed off in this movie, when they first raid the hotel where gene simmons is meeting with the 2 hoods. Their names were:

 

-Tony "the kid" Arcaro with a degree in Electrical Engineering from Cal Tech

-Luigi Bandini with a degree in Solid State physics from MIT

 

WHO KEEPS GIVING THESE MOBSTERS SCIENCE DEGREES?

 

They would be useful villians if Neil degrasse Tyson ever became a super hero or the big bang theory needed stereotypical Italian gangsters to harass the characters.

[Cameron H. 23786]

I have not, but I intend to, since I like Drax bunches and find Ant-Man an interesting character (an Avenger with more douchey tendencies than even Tony Stark? Tell me more!)

 

I have, however, read the Secret Wars Journal with the Scott Auckerman story in it and enjoyed that very much. It has a surprising amount of heart and sweetness to it (at least for a story with a preponderance of Hulks), almost as if the jaded alternative comedy exterior is just a crunchy shell, hiding a gooey and lovable center.

 

Well, I braved my LCBS, and for the first time in years, picked up a couple of floppies. I'm usually a trade waiter, but I'm glad I made the exception to support both Paul and Scott. I wholeheartedly recommend both Secret Wars Journal #3 and Guardians Team-Up #7, but for very different reasons. Quasar, you were spot on about Aukerman's story. Short, but sweet. It felt very personal to me (in a Hulk-smashing type of way).

 

Paul's book is more of a hijinks book with some genuinely solid jokes thrown in. As I wrote before, I've never been much of an Ant-man fan (and know virtually nothing of the Scott Lang version), but whenever and wherever I read him in the future, he's definitely going to have Paul's voice. This was especially clear when he says, "Just use the promo code: Deadpool." I may just have to skip the new movie altogether so Paul Rudd doesn't sully my imaginary casting...

 

Great work, to both Paul and Scott! And a very special congratulations to Paul for being elevated to Marvel superhero--if only in my head. Excelsior!

[taylor anne photo 11311]

if taylorannephoto is the next cameron h, then i aspire to one day be the next taylorannphoto. i'm gonna make that c&o cut one of these eps, or die trying! serioulsy though i need to watch this movie, it seems AMAZING

 

(I have forgotten how to speak with actual words, y'all.)

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

(I have forgotten how to speak with actual words, y'all.)

 

[taylor anne photo 11311]

[FisterRoboto 7499]

Can we just rename this thread "Cameron H. vs taylorannephoto gif war"?

 

I don't even care about the movie anymore...

[Lando 2019]

You guys should limit your gif battles to Gene Simmons and Tom Selleck images just to make it more challenging.

[Cameron H. 23786]

You guys should limit your gif battles to Gene Simmons and Tom Selleck images just to make it more challenging.

 

Challenge accepted!

 

[Cameron H. 23786]

I don't even care about the movie anymore...

 

Tell me about it...

 

If there is such a thing as cinematic face blindness, I have it 100% for this movie. Like, I could detail the plot pretty easily, but I get fuzzy on the specifics. Case in point: I started watching this on Saturday, but got bored and turned it off. Started it from the beginning on Monday, but had to get ready for work and turned it off. I picked up where I left off on Tuesday, and after watching the same half of it twice at that point, I was thinking, "Wait--how did they get here? What's going on?"

 

This movie is so flat and boring, it's insane. Despite the fact that this movie came out during the height of Selleck-mania, he sleepwalks through the whole movie like he's an acting veteran passed his heyday and is just doing it for the paycheck. I guess I'm just spoiled as I didn't discover HDTGM until last year and I didn't want to participate in the forum discussions until I had listened to all the episodes first. So, even though they've done Runaway type movies in the past, my jumping on point--of putting some effort into watching the movies before the episodes dropped--happened just before Staying Alive, and I don't think any of the movies they've done since then have been as aggressively tedious as this one.

 

It really is a shame that this is the movie that they're doing on a week they need to delay the episode...I just find, as far as the movie is concerned, there's just really nothing to talk about.

 

So, in the meantime, .gif battles it is! Besides, I think I'm winning.

 

En Garde!

 

[OoofMaGOOF 348]

Just started the movie...already think it's some goofy fun. I'm a huge Chricton fan, I read almost all his stuff as a kid. I remember being pretty broken up when he passed away.

[Juggermax 75]

http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/tom-selleck-has-allegedly-been-stealing-water-during-the-california-drought-vgtrn-055

[Lando 2019]

Oh man, this has the kid from Flight of the Navigator in it!

 

BTW, if anyone wants douche chills for a full 197 seconds, watch this video:

[Lando 2019]

Wow, I have seen this movie before. Probably 20 years or so ago but I have seen it. I had a flashback of having seen it during the bug detection scene. That is the only part I remember though, probably when I saw it, the film seemed like a reasonable vision of the future but now 30 years later it is so clunky.

[FisterRoboto 7499]

Oh man, this has the kid from Flight of the Navigator in it!

 

BTW, if anyone wants douche chills for a full 197 seconds, watch this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXiF1w8i9Oc

Lando, when this ep goes live, if they don't mention that, PLEASE put it in the ep thread. I had no idea! That's some A-level HDTGM shit (and I would hate for someone else to take your glory for that discovery)!

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

my sincere reaction to all the .gifs in this thread.

[Chasequarius 24]

I just finished this movie. I don't know if this is because it's 2:30 in the morning or not, but this movie is like, AGGRESSIVELY not good. Usually, I can find SOMETHING interesting in these bad movies, but I felt like this one was just stupid boring. This is the first time that I've fast forwarded through quite a few sections, because WHO CARES.

 

It's like they didn't even TRY to make it futuristic. All the robots look like they were purchased at Radio Shack the morning before shooting began. Mind you, all 3 "Star Wars" movies and "Blade Runner" had been released at this time, and the first "Terminator" movie was released the same year. So it's not like the technology wasn't there. They KNEW how to do robots in movies, dammit!

 

I can't wait to hear how the HDTGM crew try to make this interesting. It'll be a challenge...

[crashdavis81 62]

I got really stoned last night and watched this piece of shit. I have to say, I was sort of diggin the soundtrack. I mean, it didn't really fit the movie in any way at all, but that's okay. It was a nice distraction.

 

My three favorite moments:

1.) Tom Selleck's unadulterated sexism ("Who is that? She's very attractive")

2.) Gene Simmons in a matter of factly delivery: "Ever see them kill somebody? It's really impressive, they're filled with acid!"

3.) Tom Selleck and his kid basically having a college bro conversation about whether Selleck brought the lady cop home.

 

Anyway, this movie was ass. It's saving grace was that it was only 95 minutes long, so I was still able to get to bed at a reasonable hour.

[seanotron 2307]

It's possible I'm just too entertained by Tom Selleck's mustache, but I really didn't think this was that big of a slog to get through, especially when compared to some of our previous selections. But then maybe that doesn't mean much in a podcast where we've had to sit through horrors like A Dungeon Siege Tale or Nothing But Trouble.

[Lando 2019]

1.) Tom Selleck's unadulterated sexism ("Who is that? She's very attractive")

 

Maybe it's because horndog extraordinaire Gene Simmons is in the film for a contrast, but I thought that line came off as if he didn't actually find her attractive.

[sixgunbuddyguy 99]

talk about topical! naughty naughty tom selleck!

http://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/california-drought/no-crime-found-after-suit-accuses-tom-selleck-stealing-water-n388866?cid=sm_fb

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

1.) Tom Selleck's unadulterated sexism ("Who is that? She's very attractive")

 

Maybe it's because horndog extraordinaire Gene Simmons is in the film for a contrast, but I thought that line came off as if he didn't actually find her attractive.

 

I 100% agree with you. If anything, I found Tom Selleck to be pretty apathetic toward both women in this movie. The only exception would of course be Lois the robot, who, as Seanotron astutely pointed out, he totally wants to fuck.

 

I admit I was pretty disengaged with the entire movie and wasn't paying a great deal of attention, but it does seem like it was made up of countless lines like this one. In the movie, a character (usually Ramsay) would say something, but since the acting would never really match the dialog, I'd be left confused by the intention. It would then take another character to say, "This is how you feel" for me to realize that "Oh okay, I guess he does think she's hot. Gotcha." It's like Michael Crichton expected the viewer to assign meaning to the words being spoken rather than allowing the actor's to convey said meaning. I was going to try and defend this by pointing out, as a novelist, he probably would have expect this of his readers and that maybe this just doesn't translate to film making, but I realized that's a pretty weak argument. In a novel he could at least write prose around the dialog to clarify any ambiguity. What he didn't seem to understand when making this movie is that it's the actors' job to convey the unwritten prose and provide that context for the audience.

[Chasequarius 24]

Like Cameron H., I got to this podcast around a year ago, and I've tried to follow along with the movies since "Glitter". Out of those movies, this is the one that has just made me angry--angry that I wasted time watching this thing. Damn you HDTGM for making me watch this!!!!

 

At least "Ninja Turtles" had the Henson Workshop's wonderful puppets. In this, the robots didn't even look good. Nothing was suspenseful. This movie was completely devoid of interest. I'd rather watch "Glitter" again.

 

A movie has never made me feel this way before! I hope Jason is on this episode and feels the same way.

 

 

 

P.S.: If I WERE to recommend some HDTGM movies, they would definitely be "Deep Blue Sea," "Zardoz," "Birdemic," "The Room," "Sleepaway Camp," and the "Sharknado" movies.

[Lando 2019]

Gene Simmons performance was like a kid who wanted people to think that they were in the Columbine trenchcoat mafia so that everyone was afraid of him, but was in reality harmless.