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JulyDiaz

EPISODE 99 — Paul Rust Again, Our Close Friend

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Christian Finnegan really does need to be more careful about how he presents himself. He needs to hire a town crier to go before him warning people about his uncanny cobra-like features.

 

Bit of hollywood inside business for you guys, an unconfirmed rumor suggests that Finnegan is a HUGE Star Wars fan and knew a guy, who knew a guy. Long story told as it happens, this guy was owed a favor by JJ Abrahams. This guy owed Christian Finnegan a favor for battling a sentient mongoose who terrorized his neighborhood. He knew Finnegan was a massive Star Wars nerd who would kill someone to be a part of the upcoming movies. Finnegan's friend had a long standing feud with his ex and saw this as a massive opportunity. He told Finnegan that he could get him a part in the new SW film as a stormtrooper, but JJ Abrams needed a favor first. Finnegan, again desperate to the point of bloodlust, happily decapitated his friends ex, thinking all the while he was killing to be in Force Awakens.

 

So the ex is dead and the body parts are covertly mailed to the deceased's family members, thus completing the quip pro quo arrangement Finnegan believed was necessary to get the part, he arrives in London to lay low and be a part of cinematic history.

 

His first day on set he's shooting a scene with none other than Harrison Ford. After the first take Finnegan takes off his helmet to express to Mr. Ford what an honor it is to meet him and get some insider info on the controversial 'who shot first' debacle. Well, the second Mr. Ford turns around and sees Finnegan he punches him between his snake-like eyes. The world begins to fade to black for Finnegan and the last thing he hears is Ford bellowing, I HATE SNAKES. What Finnegan didn't hear was the the manly bellow was followed by a diminutive whimper, i hate snakes. As Mr. Ford ran away from Finnegan's limp body weeping harder than a willow in a drought he tripped over a Twi'lek's prosthetic head extension and broke his damned ankle. Finnegan was extradited to the US and they had to reshoot the scene weeks later.

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Quick question: If I want to order a pizza, do I have to do what Hayes did? I'm interested in buying a pizza, but do I have to have a podcast first?

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a lot of gargling

now who's the dunham

 

great epis'

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Hey guys.

 

I won't get to listen to the Hollywood Handbook podcast for a day or 2 but I am very excited for it.

 

I'm currently on a tour of the places that shaped Hayes and Sean's life to try and get to the root of what makes them tick.

 

I'm in Beverly Hills right now interviewing people on the street just to see how their lives have been influenced by Our Boys.

 

BUT While in Boston, I encountered one of My Boys and I could not have been more exhilarated:

 

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hollywoodhandbookaninsidersguidetokickingbuttanddroppingnamesintheredcarpetlinedbackhallwaysofthisindustrywecallshow.biz ya know?

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I know some of you all are parent's so I wanted to provide a helpful warning, the boys were not joking about that racy minions movie. It was never official released, but it leaked in Spain. Be vigilant that your kids do not get their hands on this. Some things you cannot unsee.

 

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This episode was an important reminder that we all need to take a moment out of our day and stop and smell the porno.

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Quick question: If I want to order a pizza, do I have to do what Hayes did? I'm interested in buying a pizza, but do I have to have a podcast first?

 

text Dominos a pizza emoji

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I loved all the Howl jokes, but is anyone else a little concerned they may get in trouble?

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R.I.P. Sean, killed to death by a sentient asshole cleaning machine. You were too beautiful for this world, c u at the crossroads.

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This American Life stole the opening segment - a kid who returned to New Orleans years after Katrina used the show to contact a friend he hadn't seen since before the storm. They tried hiding it in the final chapter, but I caught it.

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Great job on the show description, July. Felt like I had a much more welcoming intro to the podcast this week.

rude. i wrote it.

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rude. i wrote it.

 

Agata, great job on the show description. Felt like I had a much more welcoming intro to the podcast this week.

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Did you guys hear Sean is getting married? I bet he kept the whole breakup with Steffi quiet because hey they have kids and he will always love her. He just isn't in love with her.

 

 

What a stand up guy.

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I just noticed that Sean's way of speaking when telling stories like in the opener is remarkably similar to that of my 4 year old niece.

 

Also...Christian Finnegan?? Most obscure celeb name drop yet?

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