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Episode 131 - The Covenant

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Alison Rich of Fox's sketch comedy show Party Over Here joins Paul and Jason in studio to talk about the Abercrombie & Witch of movies, the 2006 film The Covenant. They'll cover everything including the Harry Potter & Twilight connections, the poorly done fight scene, the boozy mom talking to her son, and the skirt flipping up scene. Don’t forget to check out Blake Harris’ Oral History of The Covenant over at www.slashfilm.com! Get yourself a BB-8 “What Is Its Mission?” T-shirt or Tote Bag over at http://howdidthisgetmade.bigcartel.com/ Set your DVRs for Party Over Here, a new FOX sketch comedy show from The Lonely Island and Paul starring Nicole Byer, Jessica McKenna, and Alison Rich. It premieres Saturday, March 12, 2016, at 11 pm. People of the internet: Watch Paul in Fresh off the Boat on ABC. Awhile ago, Paul and Rob Huebel did a comedy special on a 60 foot glass bus that traveled around LA. Now you’ll be able to see it. Go to https://itun.es/us/3M4J9 now to buy it! You can also see Jason in Transparent on Amazon and in Dirty Grandpa in a theater near you! Also, check out June in Grace and Frankie available on Netflix, and in all the episodes of NTSF:SD:SUV:: on HULU for free, and Jason in The Dictator (he’s still in it!).

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Screwballs is the movie you're talking about with the guy pulling on the girl's top. It's a classic of the sex romp genre in the mold of Porky's or Seniors.

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Juicy butts for the win! I think Jason hit the nail on the head when he said it was like a twilight rip-off cash grab.

 

The kid who played Neville Longbottom in the Harry Potter movies obviously got into some kind of puberty magic.

weXABVl.jpg

 

And this isn't a sexy teen movie... but Johnny Depp in that stupid crop top in Nightmare on Elm Street and George of the Jungle had me well and proper hypnotized by Brendan Fraser.

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this came out in 2006, a year after the twilight books started coming out and 2 years before the first movie ... renny works fast. which is evident from the amount of CGI in this movie. theres nearly as much CGI in this movie as green lantern .... nearly

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Ha ha I had a list of things I thought they didn't cover and then they hit almost all of them in the any last thoughts section.

 

One thing that wasn't brought up is that Caleb is a pretty sanctimonious dick about keeping the covenant but doesn't really practice what he preaches. He has no problem joining in to show off their powers right in front of the cops during the car chase. (Maybe give him a pass on that one if he knew Ipswitch cops are so dimwitted they don't collect evidence at murder scenes.) He throws Reid around outside of Nicky's when anyone could have walked by and seen it. But the most insane one was the last shot of the movie when he fixes his windshield while surrounded by about a dozen firefighters. Maybe chalk that one up to post concussion syndrome.

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Going back to the bad cops angle (which didn't play into the plot at all). They are doing a high speed chase through the woods at night to.....bust some kids for underage drinking?

 

A doctor in the movie delivers the line: "...as if she has been bitten by hundreds of insects. Like spiders." Renny doesn't get a pass on that for being foreign. Their schools are supposed to be much better than ours.

 

The only thing in this movie that was upsetting to me was that their dorm rooms had tall frosted glass windows that faced the hallway. What the hell is that? Not being able to control the light coming into your room feels like it should be considered torture under the Geneva convention.

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Woah... Answering what actors and/or actresses got better looking with time is strangely hard, like when "Billy On The Street" asks "Name a Woman..." to someone, you know millions of women but in that moment you blank out... lol

 

If I had to think of somebody from the top of my head I would choose Mena Suvari

 

IMHO For some reason she didn't stand out back in the late '90s early 2000s

 

 

american-beauty-2.JPG

 

but when I look at her now its quite the opposite...

 

article-2110795-11E71E16000005DC-334_634x399.jpg

 

And on the XY corner we have Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

 

90s-dwayne-the-rock-johnson-cover.jpg

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I'm sorry if in any way, shape, or form this post came out with a creepy vibe, that wasn't my intention :S

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A big shout out to all those doing the witch hunting in the past of this movie. These witches are so powerful killing an entire village in self defense would probably be no sweat.

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Juicy butts for the win! I think Jason hit the nail on the head when he said it was like a twilight rip-off cash grab.

 

The kid who played Neville Longbottom in the Harry Potter movies obviously got into some kind of puberty magic.

weXABVl.jpg

 

And this isn't a sexy teen movie... but Johnny Depp in that stupid crop top in Nightmare on Elm Street and George of the Jungle had me well and proper hypnotized by Brendan Fraser.

Brendan Fraser in George of the Jungle also hypnotized me. The Mummy is one of my favourite movies, he plays a great ne'er do well with a heart of gold.

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Jacob-Tremblay-Posts-Photo-With-Daisy-Ridley-of-Star-Wars-at-Oscars.jpg

Yeah, this was such a bad perspective. Also, this kid has the most adorable Instagram. He was really the best part of Room.

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Whoo, boy, this movie. You guys are spot-on for pretty much everything, but I do offer this clarification: before the Malleus Maleficarum, a.k.a, the witch-hunter's guide book, found wide-spread use in the mid-to-late 16th century, most people prosecuted for witchcraft were men. So, on that account--and that one alone--this movie has some kind of verisimilitude.

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I'm really happy about this episode. They referenced all of my codes names for these characters that I posted in the mini-ep.

 

And on the note of teen girls and the main characters kissing, that is a thing. It makes fanfiction and shipping a lot easier if it's just in-text rather than subtext. Considering how this really is a movie for young teen girls, it all fits together except that I really don't think Renny Harlin had the forethought in this regard.

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Zouks' deconstruction of MA geography and his destruction of people from the South shore were enough to make this ep an A+.

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Yeah, this was such a bad perspective. Also, this kid has the most adorable Instagram. He was really the best part of Room.

 

I thought I was losing my mind when I saw this picture (I follow Daisy Ridley in IG). It was either right before bed when I was a lil' tipsy, or right when I woke up the next morning. Either way, I just stared at it in utter confusion.

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Last thought for now-watching this movie was like a weird time machine in ways to me. I was 19 when this came out, so right around the age of the characters and I thought it was really funny but also sweetly nostalgic how much this movie inadvertently captured 2006. Like I can't really describe it, but man oh man. I guess it was mostly the fashion and the music?

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Great episode, guys!

 

A part of the movie that I could not wrap my head around occurred after Sabastian Stan had been defeated. Once Caleb has beaten him, the movie then cuts to the hospital and shows Pogue and his girlfriend waking up from their comas as if to say his spell over them has been broken. Okay, the girlfriend is suffering from magic spider bites. I get that, and that's fine. Maybe now that the Winter Soldier is gone whatever magical poison that's been running through her veins also goes away, but Pogue wasn't bespelled--The Winter Soldier caused his motorcycle to crash! I simply don't get how, by defeating Stan, this somehow allows Pogue to miraculously recover from being flung from his motorcycle at top speed and being hurled to the pavement.

 

This was also another point where the movie seems to abruptly change its focus. I thought for sure, that at this point, Stan was going to pick off each of the friends one-by-one thereby forcing Caleb to face him by himself, which might have been a little bit interesting. But no, apparently he was satisfied with just taking the one guy out and calling it a day.

 

I also found it hilarious that the two friends in charge of protecting the blonde girl at the party manage to lose her in about two minutes flat. She's there one second, they turn around, and then she's gone. Not only do they make no real attempt to find her, they also fail to arrive at the logical conclusion that she's most likely been kidnapped by Stan and taken to the barn--which as Caleb had already told them--was the predetermined place for the final show down. It's like they thought, "Well, they're screwed. You can't say we didn't try...Let's go inside, spike the punch, flip up some skirts, and ignore the fact that, if Caleb dies, when we turn eighteen in a couple of months, we'll probably have to deal with this motherfucker ourselves."

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Why does the new girl trust the Draco Malfoy guy so readily after she feels like she was being watched in the showers?

 

She had just been crawling around on the filthy bathroom floor for five minutes to establish that no one's there, but when she leaves the bathroom, and find's a creepy, lurker dude just loitering around the girl's shower, she doesn't seem concerned at all! I get that the audience is supposed to suspect him, but she seems totally cool with it! How are her internal alarms not straight up deafening her when he tells her he wants to take her back into the bathroom, alone, and take a look for himself?

 

I also can't believe that when he tells her that it appears to be empty, she doesn't shoot back, "Yeah, I know. I just told you that I didn't see anyone, dumb-dumb."

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Zouks' deconstruction of MA geography and his destruction of people from the South shore were enough to make this ep an A+.

 

Except that it is WRONG! I grew up in Plymouth, South Shore (pronounced sho-ah) and Ipswitch is 100% North Shore. It's right outside of Salem. Jason, your Boston area street cred has been REVOKED!

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one thing that bothered me ... before the kiss in the car, caleb asks sarah to the dance and says its his birthday. but he knows that on his birthday he's going to "ascend" ... but during the fight in the barn we see him "ascending" ... it goes a little like this ...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-Zg0qWvGoM

 

 

if this covenant was so secret and nobody was to know of his witch-i-ness ... what was he planning on doing when he ascended? ... sneak out to the bathroom for 5 minutes and hope nobody see him floating and getting struck with some sort of lightning??

 

sarah: "what was that caleb?"

 

caleb: "sorry .. i had a curry for lunch"

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there was a 6 minute period in the movie where it was nearly all handshakes ... and not normal handshakes but stupid "yo dude" handshakes ... i think kitsch even gives his girlfriend one ...

 

 

 

(not sure if this will play everywhere)

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there was a 6 minute period in the movie where it was nearly all handshakes ... and not normal handshakes but stupid "yo dude" handshakes ... i think kitsch even gives his girlfriend one ...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AB6WKiI3qU

 

 

(not sure if this will play everywhere)

 

Yeah, that bugged the crap out of me too! It was like every time the met up with one another they were acting as if they hadn't seen each other in YEARS! Then it was ten minutes of handshakes and bro hugs.

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