Episode 137 - SECRET PHONE CALL RELEASED BY BRETT

[Fabio's Socks 1822]

Sorry Mister P.I. Sir but Silvr needs someone who knows politics and is new to the forums, a maverick you could say. Gollstone will make a strong candidate even stronger. I'm also good with swing voters and communists.

 

Can confirm. Was on a fishing trip with gollstone last weekend that would retroactively make a great publicity stunt/photo op to show that gollstone is a regular guy who can relate to the common forum user

[Henry 3777]

What do we really know about the candidates? It has been recently exposed that with one simple change of a letter "JEFFERYPARTIES" can become"JEFFERYPANTIES". Is that the kind of person you want to look up to as a leader? It's also been proven that while it is impressive that Jackal has psychic powers, he also committed post edit fraud and yet he has apparently used his connections to avoid any punishment for his crimes. thejjar in my opinion is guilty by association because of his bro status with Jackal. These are merely the facts, and as a forum journalist it is my job to expose them no matter how troubling they may be. A vote for Silvr is a vote for someone with the power to ban you. Make the right choice. Don't get banned

[Henry 3777]

As well as being a daring journalist, I also design bumper stickers. Fixed this one up to support the third party candidacy.

 

 

I'd also like to rub it in that I'm at work right now so I kind of got paid to do that.

[apocowarg 2696]

[Henry 3777]

Where the hell is that from? There's some behind the scenes politicking going on. Chanson has 4 pro versions at his disposal and surprise surprise, thejjar and Jackal are trying to get into bed with him. This photo is a bombshell, the people demand transparency in this race!

[MeganMaguire 104]

 

Forumers, is this what you want from your leadership: a corrupt group of thugs rigging elections and operating behind closed doors? This isn’t democracy! This isn’t freedom! These fools have made a mockery of the democratic process, the forums and of themselves. Don’t give into their power and deceit!

 

I come to you today an outsider, one who is free from the depraved frauds of forum elitism! I’m throwing my hat into the ring as a running mate of Gollstone! Together we promise to bring about a better tomorrow, away from these double-dealing insiders!!

[chanson 9697]

Someone clearly took a picture of me and edited Jack's head onto my body for his avatar. This whole thing is clearly made up by my political enemies.

[SteveH 11126]

let's be honest. most of you are in your 20s and still in school working on your history of Etruscan pottery degrees, or working as a barista part time so you can still focus on your writing.

 

Earwolf needs a CEO who knows business. Someone in their 30s. Someone who has an office at work. Someone with a box of 250 business cards. Someone who owns 4 pairs of khakis. Someone who pays for their own Netflix and Amazon Prime accounts instead of 'torrenting' stuff or using your parents' password. Earwolf needs a family man.

 

Because you can't spell Earwolf CEO without the 2 'E's' from 'SteveH'.

[Jakal 4475]

Lets just settle this the old fashion way, with a boat race, oh whats that Steve, Jeff, and Silvr? You all dont own a boat? Guess that means you're disqualified. Everyone else say hello to the new CEO of Midroll Media, a subsidiary of The E. W. Scripps Company: King Jackal.

[AndrewGoll 1211]

Sorry Jackal. But as a running mate of megancopies and a boat owner, You will have to race me.

 

Is this really the kind of person we want to have as king? I say not! Megancopies as Queen/President.

[Henry 3777]

Yeah, you can't forget about the dark horse. She's new, but she's already raked in an astronomical mass of likes from the constituents

[Joe Lerini 7329]

Oof. I feel terrible, getting JEFFREYPARTIES to those coveted 10 likes. Not because he's not a worthy candidate, but I feel like there's a better, silvr-er candidate in the running, but I can't endorse her because my political enemies will label me a flipper. And then when I go to a Q&A, some protester will show up in a dolphin costume, and it will take me longer than it probably should to figure out the pun. And the embarrassment will snowball from there and tarnish my rep.

 

(This post is based on actual events.)

[Ban on Stuff 460]

I have spoken to my advisors and will be weighing in with my endorsement shortly.

[Houston 4819]

the teat of tyranny???

 

I've hear of daring feats, but tyrannical teats?

[Jakal 4475]

Yeah, you can't forget about the dark horse. She's new, but she's already raked in an astronomical mass of likes from the constituents

Henry, stop trying to make Megs happen! It’s not going to happen

[greggy 15909]

dont blame me, i voted for TheNarnold

[Henry 3777]

Henry, stop trying to make Megs happen! It’s not going to happen

 

I've already announced the candidate that I'm supporting, and I'm out a lot of money on these bumper stickers. I'm just a little cautious of Megs, and I don't think it's wise to ignore her. Don't get me wrong, I'm against Megs' campaign and I'll try as hard as I can to find some dirt on her in the effort to seal the victory of the candidate that I believe is right for the job. I also feel that ordering up 50,000 of these stickers was maybe a rash decision that I'm hoping I won't regret.

 

THIS JUST IN: A reliable source (codename: aaaaa) has just discovered that Megs' real name is Legos Monstertruck Maguire!

[MeganMaguire 104]

Henry, stop trying to make Megs happen! It’s not going to happen

 

Is the candidate you want the one that plagiarizes a movie from 12 years ago? I think not! It is time we stand up and demand some originality from our leadership!

[Ban on Stuff 460]

After countless hours of prayer and soul searching, and following the carefully considered advice of friends, family, and advisors, I am prepared to endorse a candidate.

 

We deserve better than to serve at the whims of a group of shadowy elitists hiding behind their "secret forum." I believe we need a maverick, a trustworthy candidate removed from an establishment governed by those with hundreds, even thousands of previous posts. That's why I have chosen to endorse Megancopies for president of whatever this bit is that we're doing.

[souprman 10477]

Folks, you know me. You understand that as a known atheist, felon, manic-depressive, drug addict, bi-sexual, and nature lover I have embraced chaos. You know I came to this forum back in February 2015 with the sole intention of disrupting the hierarchy and wresting the unfair distribution of likes from the top 1% of the top 10%. I have cheerfully reminded you all time and time again that you are all going to die, the system is rigged, and #fuckNorm. You know I have made friends, enemies, frenemies, mended fences, penned tomes, rolled oates, halled oates, fought crows, fell through loopholes, went to the bonezone, and ate vegan bologna. I have seen the polemic in the median and run it over. I have taken a leak on a four leaf clover. I have cool underwear and really nice hair. I sometimes rhyme but not in this instance. What am I getting at? Well I just wanted to know if you guys want to see a picture of me riding my bike? You do? YAY!

as for politics:

#middleage

#punkrock

[souprman 10477]

I'd probably vote for a Silvr/SteveH ticket lol.

[souprman 10477]

hey where's mikebonetti?

[souprman 10477]

ps I was anointed by Valerie Bryant herself so if you don't like me you can blame her.

[AndrewGoll 1211]

As we can clearly see from 'Ban on Stuffs' endorsement of Megs, even God backs her leadership of these forums/CEO of the Earwolf.

 

Even Henry, a man we all love, is questioning why he endorsed anyone else but Maverick Megs. Lets come together now and soon, before this forum fall apart.

 

As someone who loves this forum, I vote Maverick Megs.

[Joe Lerini 7329]

Folks, you know me. You understand that as a known atheist, felon, manic-depressive, drug addict, bi-sexual, and nature lover I have embraced chaos. You know I came to this forum back in February 2015 with the sole intention of disrupting the hierarchy and wresting

WCW Saturday Night, 6:05 on the muthaship, daddeh!