Episode 157 - Surf Ninjas: LIVE!

[Cakebug Tranch 6873]

 

 

 

 

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

 

 

 

 

We're not gay, Taylor Anne. We just have a deep and abiding respect for one another that sometimes manifests itself sexually.

[paulscheer 489]

(I'm also kind of disappointed with these two picks, both of which look boring AF. I hope the Austin picks are much, much better than this)

 

Boring AF or AWESOME AF?

 

 

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

 

Boring AF or AWESOME AF?

 

 

 

Oh, fuck! Fister just got Scheer'd!

[firsttimecallerlongtimelistenr 3590]

 

Boring AF or AWESOME AF?

 

 

quick .. someone play the winners theme cause paul just got correction of the week!!!!

[Cameron H. 23786]

quick .. someone play the winners theme cause paul just got correction of the week!!!!

 

It's rigged!

 

(Unless I win. In which case everything is on the up and up. )

[FisterRoboto 7499]

I'll get you one day, Scheer....

[DanEngler 5249]

My friends, please don't link to full movies on YouTube. While we all know they're out there, Paul usually makes a point of announcing where movies can be obtained legally on the minisodes, and I don't want Earwolf to have to deal with any DMCA takedown letters from shitty overzealous studios. Thanks!

[firsttimecallerlongtimelistenr 3590]

My friends, please don't link to full movies on YouTube......

 

My bad ... some of the movies over the last while have been hard to find (especially outside the US) so I thought it would help some people out. Didn't know you guys got grief over YouTube stuff. Won't happen again.

 

Just for clarity .. does this go for other copyright-dodgy stuff on there too? E.g non-official clips & music vids, fan made stuff etc

[Buzzdome 5]

Here's a nugget...

 

Throughout the movie during battle scenes, Colonel Chi is shown wearing a suit of traditional Samurai armor. During the climactic battle scene when he crashes through the gate trying to run Johnny down he's driving....

 

A Suzuki Samurai.

[DanEngler 5249]

Didn't know you guys got grief over YouTube stuff. Won't happen again.

I don't know if Earwolf has ever been hit by takedowns in the past (I'm not an employee) but my chief concern is that they aren't targeted in the future. Google "[recent movie title] streaming" and look beneath the results where Google includes DMCA complaints. Studios generally send takedown demands with dozens of URLs at a time and, even if they're ridiculously broad requests, lawyers could become involved, etc.

 

Just for clarity .. does this go for other copyright-dodgy stuff on there too? E.g non-official clips & music vids, fan made stuff etc

I don't have a problem with any of those, just the full movies.

 

Thanks for being cool. I love you nerds.

[Cam Bert 8145]

Leslie Nielsen's costume had a microphone (and I assume corresponding earpiece) built into the half-mask. Looking at those screenshots from the Surf Ninjas game it looks like the costume designers were matching the character design from the game. That is all fine. Except for the fact that the second longest running gag in the movie was Leslie Nielsen and the cordless phone. If he needs to phone to give the "kill them all" orders all day what is he using his built in hardware for?

The thing that annoyed me most about Leslie Nielsen's costume, cultural appropriation aside which I will get to later, is the fact that they didn't spend an extra 30 minutes to try to make it look real. They didn't cover the area surrounding his eye with any sort of make up to try to blend it into the mask, which would mean when his face was crush remarkably his eye and surround area remained pristine. The same goes for the bottom part of his lip. There is just a gap because the make up didn't fit. Also his hair. The metal plate on his head just sit atop the hair like a cap. A problem that could have been solved with just parting his hair where the prosthetic met the hair. A little make up and some hair combing, seriously 30 minutes and the make up would have looked much much better.

 

Actually I take that all back. The worst part is they gave him a metal ear. A non-functioning metal ear. That's just dumb.

[Cam Bert 8145]

The whole crux of the story makes so little sense to me that I feel like I'm missing something. So the two boys are the princes of this made up nation and were whisked away as not to be killed by Colonel Chi who wants to murder them so there is no legitimate opposition to his rule but they are also the destined princes that would free the country?

 

First of all what kind of prophecy is that? For it to be something foretold they would have to also have to be foretold that their country would be taken over from a foreign invader. Otherwise what would they be freeing the nation from? Freeing them from the rule of Monarchy? If that was the case at any point in their history if a king said "let the people be free" they'd have to believe it because it was prophesied. If the prophecy was about Chi, then why weren't they more prepared for a foreign invasion? Seems like they knew it was coming and didn't do enough to stop it. Also after the house blows up Patches tells the kids that their father being kidnapped was part of the prophecy too. Does this mean that he didn't do all he could do to help because he had to let the prophecy come true? Also this is a very oddly specific and detailed prophecy. "And lo two princes will be born that shall free the nation from the oppressive rule of a white guy in samurai armor who shall invade when they are small children only to be saved by a mustachioed sailor who shall adopt them but be kidnapped while they are learning their destiny to be our true saviors. Oh, and surfing should be involved somehow."

 

Also, when were Patches and their dad going to tell them about this prophecy? It seems all the folks in little Patusan knew it before the kids did. It's understandable that Chi thought the kids dead and only when he found out they were alive did he send "ninjas" to kill them. If it wasn't for this would they have waited until the kids were adults? If they were suppose to lead a rebellion why not be stricter on them and force them to learn how to fight and get better grades. It seems to be if Chi had just sent a lawyer over to the kids to sign away their rights to be Patusani kings, they would have signed and this movie would be done much quicker.

[JammerLea 2070]

I think this is the best movie I've ever seen.

 

Psyche!

 

Oh man, as I was watching this movie, only two things came back from the depths of my memory: 1. Johnny doing the "Baba Ram" song and 2. That underling who had to fall down the steps three times for a running gag. These were the only moments my young mind seemed to deem as important enough to store away in my memory warehouse.

 

The only thing I sincerely enjoyed about the movie was the traditional Thai clothing. They have some beautiful outfits, especially in the end scene.

 

But yeah, not enough ninja for a movie called Surf Ninjas. Well, not really any ninja at all. Any ninja worth their salt wouldn't be trying to "sneak" around in broad daylight like these guys did at the start of the movie. My guess is Colonel Chi is just some Japanese-fanatic who thinks he knows a thing or two about ninja and samurai warriors and decided that's good enough to make a move to take over this Patu San nation for no reason. Seriously he needs some sort of background story to set up his motivation.

 

I want to reply to some comments too.. let's see...

 

my question is ... why doesn't anyone, on an island full of trees and with some of the best wood carvers in the world, have some sort of canoe? i've been on a surf board twice in my life and both times i nearly killed myself but whenever i've been in a canoe i got to where i needed to go with no such issue .. ok maybe the trees aren't big enough to make canoes ... then make a few rafts and enough paddles for everyone.. way easier, they would still be on the surface of the water so no risk from the reef and Tone-Loc wouldn't be shunned by his friends when he gets back home .. it's win/win .. but i guess rafting ninjas doesn't sound as much fun as surf ninjas

 

There's no way they wouldn't have boats. If they're an island, I'd expect them to have some sort of fishing traditions. But as for the size of the trees, you can make canoes out of smaller timber. Some Native American tribes would make canoes out of the bark from birch trees, which are tall and skinny. But whatever the source of the wood, it's not ever gonna be a 1 day project.

 

 

 

Not to mention, surfing can be EXHAUSTING! These assholes paddle, I don't know, one, maybe two miles over to Nielson's Island Fortress--slowly and in broad daylight. By the time they got there, they'd all be dead on their feet. Not exactly the condition you want your warriors to be in when going into a battle to the death.

 

Honestly, my question during this whole scene, especially with how slow and obvious this mass of people on surfboards are traveling... Why did Nielson's army not have any lookouts?? Like they had no posts with gunners or ANYTHING. Who would be that confident that no one unwanted might visit their hideout?? Maybe surviving an elephant stomping gave him way too much confidence!!

 

 

Midway through the movie, Loc and Baby Bro get captured by the bad guys and are being cargo'd away with a number of other Patu Sanian prisoners. Things are looking pretty bleak for our heroes. Then, suddenly, against all odds, Johnny drops in from the truck's roof and handily dispatches the guard! He then relieves the guard of his keys and hands them to one of the other prisoners who immediately begins freeing everyone else. Ebullient with bloodlust, Johnny takes just a moment to catch his breath and trade a couple of witty bon mots with his little bro when they are rudely interrupted by old sourpuss Tone-Loc who holds up his shackles and gripes, "Hey, Mr. Hero, now that you're here, how the heck are you gonna get us up out of here?" Gee, Detective, I don't know. Maybe with the keys you literally just saw me remove from this guy's belt not three feet in front of you...I know this movie sucks, but shit, it's for kids--surely you can keep up.

 

I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess Johnny didn't give the cop the keys because he might have eaten them.

 

 

 

Also... CHOPPING MALL OH MY GOD I JUST WATCHED THAT RECENTLY

I'll admit it's a bit slow, but I had a good few laughs, I'd probably watch it again. Good old American mall culture up the wazoo.

[RyanSz 3140]

Omission:

 

Okay I may not have heard this from the episode, but how did no one address that Schneider thought he had telekinesis and psychic abilities? During one of the fights he literally is just walking around with his fingers to his head like goddamn Professor X. Then you have the scene where the younger brother helps everyone escape by very slowly ramming a jeep into a couple of the soldiers, putting himself within feet of numerous machine gun barrels. These kids should have been dead 100 times over.

 

And speaking of Professor X, Logan is fucking amazing and along with X2 and First Class, is one of the best X-Men movies ever. I was so happy that they nailed the emotion of the Old Man Logan character, though I felt that they left out too much backstory, since this movie is set ten years into the future.

[NundercoverBrother 174]

Whoa!

Of all the times Zooks has comically announced a surprise guest who wasnt there, the one time there is a surprise guest, hes not here. #Paradox

[Shepersisted 0]

So there was a lot hate on the music selection for this movie. But I personally have to say, it makes total sense and I loved it. Being born in 1989, I watched a lot of Full House growing up, and I therefore remember the apex of coolness at the time was Uncle Jesse playing with The Beach Boys at the Super Bowl (maybe it was just some random football game, I don't know). But the point is, barbershop rock music was the shit in the 90s because of Uncle Jesse.

 

(That said, I also did not watch the movie once I found out this was "Surf Ninjas" and not "three ninjas", which I watched way too much as a child considering it's about three white boys who are ninjas, and whose grandfather is played by the actor who was Mr. Myagi in Karate Kid.)

[NundercoverBrother 174]

FYI,

Ernie Reyes Jr is Filipino and Robbie Schneider is half Filipino half Polish.

 

Rob's paternal grandfather, Solomon Schneider, was a Polish Jewish immigrant (from Galicia), while Rob's paternal grandmother, Ann Molly Hoffman, was a Russian Jewish immigrant. Rob's maternal grandfather, Ulysses Stanley Monroe, who was born in Michigan, had Scottish and English ancestry, while Rob's maternal grandmother, Victoria Estacio, was a Filipino (Rob's maternal grandparents had met when his grandfather was in the army). Rob grew up in the San Francisco suburb of Pacifica, in the area known as Park Pacifica, or "the back of the valley".

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001705/bio?ref_=nm_dyk_trv_sm#trivia

[ClarkKellyson 5]

I desperately wish that they had access to the Amazon link to A.L. Singer's novelization of Surf Ninjas, because clicking through to A.L.'s other work might have eventually shown that A.L. Singer was a nom de plume for Peter Lerangis, ghostwriter of more than 30 titles in The Baby-Sitters Club series.

[JimKata 62]

Just checked, and copies of the Surf Ninjas novelization are now going for $7.99. Capitalism at work, people.

[FisterRoboto 7499]

(That said, I also did not watch the movie once I found out this was "Surf Ninjas" and not "three ninjas", which I watched way too much as a child considering it's about three white boys who are ninjas, and whose grandfather is played by the actor who was Mr. Myagi in Karate Kid.)

Their grandfather isn't Pat Morita (aka - Mr Miyagi). He's played by Victor Wong, who is perhaps best known for his role as Egg Shen in Big Trouble in Little China.

[Shepersisted 0]

Their grandfather isn't Pat Morita (aka - Mr Miyagi). He's played by Victor Wong, who is perhaps best known for his role as Egg Shen in Big Trouble in Little China.

 

Oof, my bad. Thank you for the correction.

My only excuse is that I haven't watched it since I was 10 and didn't look it up. That said, that wasn't cool of me to mess that up, sorry.

[JammerLea 2070]

Okay, I have some questions I want to address.

 

First, how did Colonel Chi learn where the princes had been living? Or that those were the correct boys to go after? Someone must have let that slip, right?

 

Second, how did Zatch know that the princes had been discovered and were in danger? Or had he always been watching them? But when he meets with Mac at the diner, they react like they haven't seen each other for a long time. How did Zatch know where to find them?

 

What if Zatch and Mac kept in contact via mail and Colonel Chi somehow intercepted one of their letters? So therefore it's actually their fault that the princes were found. What if they sent a letter TO Colonel Chi so that the destiny stuff could be fulfilled?? WHAT IF????

[joel_rosenbaum 1269]

"Baba Ram" song

Barbara Ann, popularized by the Beach Boys.

 

Not that I blame you (or others who have made this mistake, including Paul), since in the movie they make zero effort to get the lyrics right, either. Maybe that's the ethnic interpretation.

[JammerLea 2070]

Barbara Ann, popularized by the Beach Boys.

 

Not that I blame you (or others who have made this mistake, including Paul), since in the movie they make zero effort to get the lyrics right, either. Maybe that's the ethnic interpretation.

 

It was a pun. The monk's name was Baba Ram, so Johnny cleverly turned "Barbara Ann" into "Baba Ram" for his welcoming presentation.