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JulyDiaz

Episode 164.5 - Minisode 164.5

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Oh fuck, they have to do Undefeatable, just for the "something for free" scene. It's on Youtube in full as well. Just so many hilarious lines in this one scene alone, it's a must watch.

See if they were to do a double show on shitty fighting movies it needs to be Undefeatable and either Deadly Prey which has one of the most insane final fights ever, or City Dragon which is a mix of early 90s hip hop movie, bad kung fu, and one of the serious episodes of Fresh Prince of Bel Air, hell the main actor is named MC Kung Fu.

Fuck it, they should do Miami Connection too. Why can't they give us a new full episode each week?!

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According to our dear friends over at HDTGM Reddit, apparently the live show was pretty good for Ninja Terminator, so maybe we have something to look forward to. Plenty of people over there are just as bemused about the choice as they are here, it seems. Here's the link, but don't click if you want to be surprised about who the guests are.

 

I'm sure the show will be great. I can't imagine how hard it will be just trying to explain what's happening. I'm just saying, as a viewer, the movie is a tough pill to swallow. The episode will be a hundred percent entertaining, I'm just predicting the forums will be relatively quiet next week - at least with actually movie talk. I'm sure we will find some dumbass thing to discuss to pass the time. :)

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If we're digging into the Shitty Fighting Movie goldmine (and also not doing Miami Connection for some wacky reason), why not the Cannon Film classic NINJA 3??!?!

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If we're digging into the Shitty Fighting Movie goldmine (and also not doing Miami Connection for some wacky reason), why not the Cannon Film classic NINJA 3??!?!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNOpuZBxDGk

 

For real. I'm honestly really curious about this pick. Like, is this one of those times that the guest picked what they wanted to watch? Cam Bert and I were discussing it over on Letterboxd, and I had guessed that it might be one of those situations where the making of the movie might be crazier than the movie itself, but he said (from what he researched) the making of wasn't even all that exciting. Basically just the Hong Kong equivalent to Cannon films. It's just not the type of movie that's in HDTGM's normal wheelhouse. Sure they've done The Room and Birdemic, but each of those are both next level, and even if I'm not the biggest fan of either of them, I can see how they kind of transcend from "bad" movie to...something more interesting. Ninja Terminator doesn't do that for me. After the initial "Oh, wow, really?" moment that happens on literally the first second, it doesn't really go anywhere - for better or worse.

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For real. I'm honestly really curious about this pick. Like, is this one of those times that the guest picked what they wanted to watch? Cam Bert and I were discussing it over on Letterboxd, and I had guessed that it might be one of those situations where the making of the movie might be crazier than the movie itself, but he said (from what he researched) the making of wasn't even all that exciting. Basically just the Hong Kong equivalent to Cannon films. It's just not the type of movie that's in HDTGM's normal wheelhouse. Sure they've done The Room and Birdemic, but each of those are both next level, and even if I'm not the biggest fan of either of them, I can see how they kind of transcend from "bad" movie to...something more interesting. Ninja Terminator doesn't do that for me. After the initial "Oh, wow, really?" moment that happens on literally the first second, it doesn't really go anywhere - for better or worse.

I dunno, seeing who the guests are on the episode (including June!), I don't really take one look at them and say 'you look like Ninja Terminator people'! From the tone of the last minisode, it felt like this was one of Paul's personal favourites, but maybe that's just me reading into it.

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I can't believe it's taken this long for HDTGM to cover a Godfrey Ho movie. These ninja/kung fu flicks were my bread and butter when I was younger; nothing used to be better than hanging out with some college friends and drinking beers while watching dudes slap the hell out of each other in poorly dubbed British English.

 

Ninja Terminator is pretty infamous among lovers of shitty martial arts films -- Godfrey Ho is like the Ed Wood of the genre, and Richard Harrison was his muse. Ho was resourceful and incredibly prolific -- his imdb (which lists 136 films directed) is probably nowhere near accurate, as the guy was constantly reediting and reusing footage to make other, slightly different films, often under a variety of pseudonyms. With directors like this, I think you just have to admire their bizarre dedication to the craft, if not the subtlety of the art.

 

richardharrisonninja.jpg

Hmmm, is the guy in yellow pajamas a ninja or not?

 

p.s. Undefeatable is one of the best martial arts films ever! Cynthia Rothrock is a queen.

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I don't know what y'all are talking about with this movie being boring. I'm an hour in and have only heard quotable lines. My favorites so far are the 'drunken crab' bit and the long, long exchange following Jaguar's request for a cigarette.

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OH man. I'm halfway through, and while I am watching this while furiously crafting decorations for a friend's wedding, I am 100% entertained. My personal favorite, so far, are the regional American accents pronouncing the Japanese names. Those are gold. Like the Ninja Warrior.

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FWIW, I'm watching Ninja Terminator on YouTube after buying the DVD. Maybe it's the luck of the bootleg draw, but the version I got was pan-and-scan (1.66:1 instead of 2:35:1) with a shaky camera. Very different experience, as the YouTube version shows a much steadier camera at play than the DVD version gives it credit for.

 

I'd recommend the YouTube version, but for those with sensitive hearing, be prepared to shave the top of your high frequencies and compensate with low end, because this mix is trebly as a clef.

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I didn't know if you grabbed someone's nose really hard the guys arms would wave around in the air like that! This would never have been made if not for the Garfield Phone... #NinjaTerminator

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The Garfield phone isn't helping?

 

The Garfield phone was the turning point for me, when I started to care deeply about these characters

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Ninja Terminator is a tough slog...I'm used to watching bad martial arts movies but this plays like a bad high school student film...

which is being unkind to bad high school student films...and the music and dubbing ugh! Almost like it's being bad on purpose.

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This movie was not as bad to get through as I thought, of course I was watching it on my phone at work and not exactly paying attention. There are a lot of fights I kind of just listened too. It may be worth it solely for Jaguar Wong though. That guy is great.

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The fights in Ninja Terminator, honestly, are all better than pretty much anything on Iron Fist and the leads in this movie are better martial artists than the leads in that show, so.... I didn't hate it?

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The fights in Ninja Terminator, honestly, are all better than pretty much anything on Iron Fist and the leads in this movie are better martial artists than the leads in that show, so.... I didn't hate it?

 

I know you mentioned the "leads" in Iron Fist, but...

 

 

tumblr_inline_onejjnffXx1tn7f89_500.gif

 

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The fights in Ninja Terminator, honestly, are all better than pretty much anything on Iron Fist and the leads in this movie are better martial artists than the leads in that show, so.... I didn't hate it?

 

In my head Iron Fist autocorrected to The Man With The Iron Fists.

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Omg. This movie. The Garfield phone. I had no idea who the "good" or "bad" guys were. What was the eye liner budget on this movie?

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Ninja Terminator.... Wow this is like finding out The Room had a baby with a really bad 70s Kung Fu movie.

 

The eye makeup... The guy in the blonde wig.. gum chewing cop.... Toy robots... the car chase... Garfield phone...

 

This. Film. Is. Awesome.

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I know you mentioned the "leads" in Iron Fist, but...

 

 

tumblr_inline_onejjnffXx1tn7f89_500.gif

 

Hell yes. I must have watched that Drunken Master fight three or four times because, you know, it was actually pretty great. The best sequence in the series.

 

Now if we could have the Drunken Master fight Jaguar Wong in Ninja Terminator, I would actively qualify it as a good movie.

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