Knock Off (1998)

[bullet3 1]

Its impossible to explain the sheer insanity of this movie.
This thing makes Crank 2 look like a straightforward and reasonable flick.

It very loosely has to do with Jean Claude Van Damme and Rob Schneider as jean knock-off manufacturers who get caught up in a conspiracy involving terrorists manufacturing nanobombs and embedding them inside jeans, toys, etc. The movie makes no sense on any level though, and will completely blow your mind.

The best way I can describe it is that this is the absurdity and incompetence of The Room mixed with the insane camera-work/editing of Crank 2. Literally every scene there is some completely bizarre whip-pan, or zooming into a fish-tank, or awkward fade to something completely unrelated.

Agh, I'm not even scratching the surface here. The acting is something amazing to see, its on par with, and surpasses The Room for sheer insanity. Van Damme is clearly coked out and crazy in every scene. Rob Schneider is doing bizarre accents left and right. All the line readings and dialogue are like you're watching a weird foreign dub.

I'm starting to realize there's simply no way to describe how amazingly nuts this movie really is, I'm still not doing it justice. Knock-Off cannot be explained, it must be experienced.

I'll put it to you this way:

There's a scene where Rob Schneider whips Van Damme in the ass with a giant eel, while they're in a rickshaw race through Hong Kong.

Watch this youtube video to get just a small taste of the craziness:

[Damme it ALL 3]

I just watched this on crackle and Wow! As if it wasn't enough that my favorite action star was in it (JCVD), Rob Schneider is there for comic relief. I know you're thinking "We've seen it as Judge Dredd", then you find out that they are fashion designers in Hong Kong, in too deep with the Russian Mafia... Yes, Russians in Japan. Add in a crazy Rick-shaw race, Explosions every 3-5 minutes and the most slow motion you will ever see. This movie is bad, even for JCVD, but you continually have to pause and ask yourself "what the fuck was that?" which makes it a worth while watch for free.

[sillstaw 414]

The subject of one of the best Citation Needed posts ever:

 

Ray and Hendricks then learn that these knock off jeans are laden with nanobombs, which were developed by former KGB operatives who are in league with international terrorists that are utilizing a Russian Mafia’s scheme to bring this deadly technology to the black market and extort $100,000,000.00 in monthly revenue from the world super powers. This particular order is to be shipped to the U.S. Also, we learn that Ting (soft drink) is a beverage.

 

Furthermore, we discover that the CIA headquarters, in Hong Kong, is located on Lantau Island inside a huge Buddha statue. THEY WERE NANOBOMBS!, but in the end, Hong Kong is safe and so is the rest of the world.

[lesser_g 1]

Saw this movie for the first time last night and already posted in the Which Movie Needs to be Reviewed thread, but I'll repeat myself here...

 

JCVD, Rob Schneider, Paul Sorvino in action scenes, Hong Kong, weird non-sequiturs, unexplanable camera manuveres and a major story line about counterfeit jeans.

 

Kind of the perfect HDGTM movie.

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

"How to Make Me Want to See a Movie in Ten Words or Less," from IMDb's plot summary of the film...

"Action star Jean Claude Van Damme plays a fashion designer."

 

Done. I am in.

[jarrycanada 2483]

"How to Make Me Want to See a Movie in Ten Words or Less," from IMDb's plot summary of the film...

"Action star Jean Claude Van Damme plays a fashion designer."

 

Done. I am in.

 

and it's fabulous!

[EliN.G.Ross 4]

when you did Double Team, Hark Tsui's Van Damme/Rodman film i was pretty psyched, but i can't believe you haven't done the Van Damme/Rob Schneider movie he made directly afterwards. Knock Off (1998) is by far the strangest movie i have ever seen, the plot took me 3 full watches to understand, but i enjoyed each watching cuz this movie is like watching a Van Damme movie on acid, too much acid, like i imagine if alejedro jodorowski had made a American produced hong kong action movie, it would look like this. the camera zooms in and out of the sniper rifles scope, a man gets killed when a booby trapped safe launches a rocket sending him into the air and then exploding, the plot revolves around terrorists putting small grenades the size of hearing aid batteries into counterfeit jeans!? it is truly insane from start to head-scratching finish. i don't know why anyone would have agreed to fund this movie, but im guessing cocaine was involved. its a spy movie about counterfeit jeans with van damme looking like a crazy person throughout.

 

please look into this movie. its better and more insane than Double Team by like 100 times. i think its supposed to be an amusing kung fu movie but it comes off like an LSD hallucination combined with paranoia. im a little shocked it hasn't been recommended before. but i found nothing when i searched.

 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120724/

[EliN.G.Ross 4]

how did this not come up when i searched for it? oh well. the video is dead above so if you are curious to see the trailer which should give you some idea of how crazy this film is try this

 

https://youtu.be/yPxHh7jC_ZY

 

i forgot how much time Van Damme spends sliding around on the floor like an olympic curling champ. its one of my favorite crazy movies, very amusing and crazy as all hell.

[Lando 2019]

I just got really excited when I saw this was available on demand on a channel called "Cine Sony" and then really disappointed when I saw that the channel was in Spanish.

[Lando 2019]

It is available on Crackle through October

[Lando 2019]

i like that the micro bombs are essentially Wildfire from Game of Thrones

[ThibaultTurcas 10]

It is my duty to up this.

 

Like someone said above, it's not insane like Double Team. It's 100 times that.

The movie DOES. NOT. STOP. Tsui Hark is on 'I'm gonna fuck things up' mode and experiments in every department. The sound is 90% bad ADR (Jean Claude has 3 or 4 different voice intonations within the movie), the pacing never lets down, the action set-pieces are so enjoyable (JCVD sliding on a ship like it's snow) and he does POV shots David Fincher-style every two seconds (the ones going INSIDE the knock-off sneakers are amazing).

 

Having stumbled on a couple interviews from the era, Tsui was apparently making a 'revenge' movie because he loathed JCVD and his experience on DOUBLE TEAM. And that explains so much. Like why it takes place in Hong Kong. Why JCVD is pretty much a moron in the film. Why even Rob Schneider is CIA and not him. He's reduced to a stupid-ass knock-off foreigner who has no place at all in the film and is treated like shit by everybody. Tsui is clearly making the movie his own and you can see a LOT of his experiments paying off in his next film, the amazing TIME AND TIDE.

 

And if you wanna make GIFs, this is the movie for you. JCVD was a mess and on coke during the whole thing and makes so many weird faces it's bonkers. PLEASE DO THIS!

 

[AbeFroman 70]

Please, please make this a priority in 2018 for the show. The very definition of bonkers.

 

Coked out Van Damme

Comic relief from Rob Schreinder

Exploding Jeans

Mortified Paul Sovino

Baffled Lela Rachon

Green explosions

Rickshaw races

 

It makes Double Team seem restrained. If another JCVD film is done, please make it this one....and then Sudden Death.

[Roonami 11]

I remember watching this when I was a young teen and I loved it, knowing full well how downright bonkers it is. I couldn't stop re-watching this movie. Rickshaw races (and JCVD running in knock off sneakers), finding explosives on the butt of his jeans, Rob Schneider constantly getting punched in the face, etc., etc. Also I guess everyone in Hong Kong is a CIA agent.

 

I remember watching Rob "promote" the movie on Leno and he very diplomatically said the movie sucked. I think the line he said when explaining why the movie was delayed, was "We wanted to wait until kids were in school." Also as many other posters pointed out, JCVD is coked out. He admitted to his habit around the time this movie came out (or maybe earlier ... I remember his admission was part of the movie review when this was released).