The One (2001)

[GrahamS. 803]

Honestly, it’s hard to believe this film hasn’t been done before. It is fucking bananas. I watched this while stoned, but I was sober enough to recognize that the characters speak in gibberish non-sequitors trying to make the plot seem mysterious, then when the plot is revealed, they speak only with exposition. 

Basically, there are multiverses and bad Jet Li is trying to kill all the other Jet Li’s so he can inherit their power and yadda yadda yadda. I have rarely seen a movie that has such a noisily expositional opening that explains NOTHING. Plus, since there are several realities, we get to see the same basic action sequence done twice so it can save money in the budget (?). Don’t know why else they would do it.

yet it moves so fast and is so stupid that it’s a lot of fun, especially while not totally sober. And the special effects look really bad. And it has 14% on RT. And it’s free on Hoopla. 

Truly, I think this would make a great episode. Here’s a very funny review from Roger Ebert.

https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/the-one-2001

[MichaelKatsimbris 6]

Agreed! I'd very much look forward to this.

[theworstbuddhist 572]

God, poor Jet Li. I'm not sure what is worse, John Woo's Hollywood years or Jet Li's. What a waste of some good physical ability years for him.

[SlidePocket 707]

And you have Jason Statham trying to talk like an American but failing. 

[theworstbuddhist 572]

14 minutes ago, SlidePocket said:

And you have Jason Statham trying to talk like an American but failing. 

 

[GrahamS. 803]

5 hours ago, SlidePocket said:

And you have Jason Statham trying to talk like an American but failing. 

Yes!!!! I honestly couldn’t tell if he was trying to do an accent or not. And it was really weird to see him with hair! I think he looks better now!

[GrahamS. 803]

Another way to describe this movie is that it steals some of the worst qualities of the Matrix trilogy and dumbs them down.

[GrahamS. 803]

6 hours ago, theworstbuddhist said:

God, poor Jet Li. I'm not sure what is worse, John Woo's Hollywood years or Jet Li's. What a waste of some good physical ability years for him.

Jet Li’s. I know you don’t Face/Off, but I fucking love that movie and it was perhaps Woo’s one Hollywood film where he had free rein. Jet Li has...maybe that one movie with Morgan Freeman? 

[RyanSz 3140]

What's more nuts about this is how the ending essentially spits in the face of its basic premise. The reason that Statham and Delroy Lindo are hunting bad Jet Li is if he becomes "The One," it could destroy the multiverse, but in the end he is sent to a prison colony where is he last shown fighting an endless army of other inmates, all of whom have presumably been convicted of similar crimes that he has. So even though Bad Li is only one of two Lis left with near god-like powers, the numbers game will eventually catch up to him and he will be killed by his opponents, leaving good Li as the only one in the multiverse.

Also how the hell did they not show the Good Li universe's version of Statham like they did for Lindo?  This movie also has another sign of a bad movie in that it features a song on its soundtrack that doesn't really fit with the movie and has been used in numerous movies, especially movies that were released in close calendar proximity to one another as I think this was the third movie to have Papa Roach's "Last Resort" featured heavily in the movie along with Ready to Rumble and Pay It Forward, which were two that I could remember off the top of my head but I'm certain there are more.

[GrahamS. 803]

15 hours ago, RyanSz said:

This movie also has another sign of a bad movie in that it features a song on its soundtrack that doesn't really fit with the movie and has been used in numerous movies, especially movies that were released in close calendar proximity to one another

Yes—I don’t know the title of the song, but this movie has the “LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR” song that Paul and Rob Huebel quoted MANY times in the Jason X episode.