Artemis Fowl (2020)

[Jake_n_fart 0]

This movie is on disney plus 

It starts with the lead character surfing! This never comes back in to play. Everything happens by almost by chance, but is also a part of a plan. It is hard to say if its magic or science that the mythological creatures have,  and the rules to each. I guess though, the ability to unhinge your jaw and eat dirt and spray it out your butt is more magic than science. 

[CNU2007 16]

I haven't seen the film nor read the series of books it is based on, but it cost $125 million and was supposed to start a movie franchise. It is directed by Kenneth Branagh, but COVID-19 made Disney dump it on Disney+ and the reviews have not been scathing, rather that the entire film is just dull and hard to understand.

[RyanSz 3140]

The book series was one of the few Harry Potter knockoffs to actually be pretty good and not just a simple cash grab, but this movie looks like utter ass. Seeing the main character do a trope-ish as hell when the kid does a slow-mo turn while putting on 90s looking Rayban sunglasses made me want to ignore this movie with all of my being.

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

Between this John Carter, and a Wrinkle in Time i'm feeling like Disney should maybe take a break on adapting bonkers children books.

[RAD5000 1]

You forgot to mention that Judi Dench is in this. She's like this tough Fairy Police Captain/Military General. She sends what seems to be the whole army for one boy. When she comes out of some big military looking thing, shes says something really cheesy like "top of the mornin' to ya."  My 8 year-old son loved it though. If you need a 5-start review, I can get one for you.