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SeanDowns

The Last American Virgin (1982)

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Please talk about The Last American Virgin, let me try to convince why.

 

The 1980's seem to be where all the work that feminists had done up to that point was completely forgotten by the female generation that hit 18 at that time. Not only were boobs the motivation for the entire decade, but so was the butt. The Last American Virgin is the pinnacle of the sex comedy. It has boobs, butt, sexual harassment, female deviants, abortion, friendship, enemyship, and more set backs for gender equality that seems okay to me. And by the end of the film it stops being a comedy and becomes cineamatic gold. There might be some hyperbole and incorrect sentence structure in my explanation, but i'm trying to portray how perfect this film would be for yous guys and people to nit pick and try and find out, "how did this get commissioned and filmed and released and remembered?"

 

Thank you for your time,

that guy from gelsons.

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Based on the trailers, back-of-the box description, and tagline, you would think that "The Last American Virgin" is a light-hearted sex comedy, like a 1980's version of "American Pie."

You're wrong. You have no idea how wrong you are. This is such a fucked up movie.

How fucked up is it?

The film's third act involves a montage wherein we're cutting between a teenage girl getting an abortion and a teenage boy selling his possessions and stealing from his grandma to pay for it.

This movie is horrible and upsetting, and I think it should be reviewed on this show, because I need to know how this shit got made.

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70% on rotten tomatoes.

 

Bill Simmons loves this movie.

What a title. Maybe one of the best four or five ever, right up there with "Fatal Attraction" and "The Longest Yard." You should also know that "Virgin" featured the best soundtrack of '80s songs other than maybe "Valley Girl," as well as one of the all-time great "teenagers trying to get laid at a brothel" scenes. And it has some legitimately funny moments.

More importantly, there's a remarkable love triangle here featuring a lovestruck high schooler losing his dream girl (the girl from "Better off Dead") to his playboy buddy, who knocks her up, then dumps her, leaving Lovestruck Guy to pay for the abortion. She moves in with him -- because his parents are away, since this is an '80s movie and all -- and eventually he gets some pity sex out of it.

But you know what's coming ...

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Why has this movie not been done yet???!?! There is a dick measuring contest AND an abortion montage set to U2! Plus one of the greatest endings of ALL TIME! Do this movie or I'll kill myself!

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Finally got around to watching this.

 

Of all the "teen comedies" - I think this one is perfect for the show.

 

It has the perfect ingredients for a great episode - and an ending so UNCLICHE it will have everyone talking.

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I watched "Electric Boogaloo: The Wild Untold Story Of Cannon Films" (which is a documentary of every film that HDTGM should do), and this was in it, being a shot-for-shot remake of the Isreali "Lemon Popcicle" movie... Measuring scene and all...

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I watched "Electric Boogaloo: The Wild Untold Story Of Cannon Films" (which is a documentary of every film that HDTGM should do), and this was in it, being a shot-for-shot remake of the Isreali "Lemon Popcicle" movie... Measuring scene and all...

 

Wasn't that a great documentary, I laugh my ass off at the fact that it really is the asnwer to how did this get made.

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I'll have to check that out. But seriously, how perfect is this movie for HDTGM? I feel that they would need to devote like 3 hours to dissecting this film. There's just so much to analyse about it.

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I was watching Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films (I documentary I highly recommend btw) and I was reminded of this movie.

 

So Porky's was very successful and the brothers that ran Cannon Films had a really successful franchise that was in the vein of Porky's called Lemon Popsicle. Which is a whole bunch of teen boys try to get laid.

 

For the American version they brought the story into the 80's and Los Angeles. The young cast features Steve Antin (aka Troy from the Goonies) Karen Franklin (Better Off Dead) and a really young Kimmy Robertson (Twin Peaks).

 

 

It's got a lot of the qualities that I think HDTGM is known for. Plus I'm pretty sure there is some nudity as well so Jason will be happy.

 

The soundtrack is full of classics including a U2 song at the worst possible scene. I think this movie is like the unwanted cousin to Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

 

 

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