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Alright, This one Is the reason I joined this forum. Love the podcast, and I think this is pure gold. It's a 90's action comedy ( red flag) with Dane Cook ( red flag) and Dennis Rodman ( red flag!). Cook tries and fails to be Jim Carrey and Dennis Rodman has all the charisma of a piece of parquet, and it's got a villain that seems to be a rejected version of Buster Bluth.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjJEBQCLbZ8&at=87

What do you guys think? Also, the Dane Cook raptor scene starts at 1:27

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My initial instinct was to recommend "Double Team"... an action movie starring the acting triumvirate of Jean Claude Van Damme, Dennis Rodman, and Mickey Rourke.

 

However, I gotta go with that other cinematic abortion starring Dennis Rodman... Simon Sez... in which stars as an Interpol agent (???!!!!) that teams up with pre-MySpace fame Dane Cook.

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I was thinking the EXACT same thing.

 

Plus with Rodman in the news again lately it seems like a perfectly timely flick for HDTGM!

 

I just put it through to the vote. Toss some trashcans at it if we wanna get it on the show!

 

Computer hacking monks.

 

Dane Cook doing martial arts.

 

Rodman as a "tattooed ex-Interpol agents" WTF?!

 

0% on Rotten Tomatoes!

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What a clip reel!!

 

Cool guys don't look at explosions.

They blow things up then walk away.

 

Capisce?

No thanks, I'm not hungry.

DENNIS RODMAN COMEDY GLARE

 

Computer animated villain is fantastic!

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Now that Denis Rodman announced he will return to North Korea where he is BFF with its dictator Kim Jong Un, it may be time to look at Simon Sez. It's not only is weird and confusing, but incredibly unfunny.

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Wow this is bad. Remember when Dane Cook was supposed to be a thing? Somehow this movie happened and didn't stop his career in its tracks.

 

You want to do some night time dock surveilance? Just send a 6'7" guy wearing bright yellow motocross pads on a noisy yellow crotch rocket.

 

The only barrier to doing this movie might be John Pinette

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This crazy bad action movie stars Dennis Rodman as Simon, an Interpol agent in search of the abducted daughter of his close friend. To accomplish this, he teams up with some monks (John Pinette & some other guy) and Dane Cook. The movie's $295,000 gross fell just shy of it's $10-Million budget. It's got bad acting, bad stunts, bad editing, and no redeemable qualities. How did this get made?

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Just watched this.

 

HOLY SHIT, this is easily one hundred times worse than Double Team. How do you make a movie where everything is so dumb and offensive that Dennis Rodman ends up being the most dignified actor?

 

Motorcycle machine gun gang that all dress like The Clockwork Orange droogs

 

Dane Cook being the most annoying person alive (How did this guy get a career? He's worse than Dennis Miller when it comes to comedian movie roles)

 

Computer hacking monks named "Big Mac" and "Little Mac". The obese one is Little Mac, get it? Is that not hilarious?

 

$292,000 lifetime gross

 

0% Rotten Tomatoes

 

The only decent clip I can find is someone posting the entire movie in German. I'm just going to leave it at this spot where Dennis Rodman talks to his ex girlfriend. This scene made me want to physically hurt someone.

 

(jump to 35:03)

 

https://youtu.be/Txq1xDbGEqA?t=35m3s

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If I did this podcast, this would be my #1 pick! This movie has everything and the episode could be 3 hours and still would only scratch the surface of the chaos that is included. This is one of those films where you can honestly ask "How did this get made?" and I would absolutely love to hear the story as its so wild and so bad, and almost a parity, but isn't. Almost a comedy but isn't.

It still blows my mind that this didn't ruin Dane Cook's movie career. #SimonSez 

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