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jimkiler

Hansel and Gretel (2013)

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I have not seen the movie as it comes out tomorrow but it looks so bad from the trailer.

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Agreed, they should catch this while it's in the theaters. I'm curious if it wasn't made years ago and just released because Jeremy Renner was in the new Bourne film.

 

I did find this quote from IMDB revealing

"In an interview with Famke Janssen at Cannes 2011, she stated that she took her role as the head witch because she had to pay off her mortgage"

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I saw this on Netflix yesterday and had a good laugh...

 

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Hansel & Gretel: Warriors of Witchcraft

 

A cheaper version of everything always exists.

 

The Asylum always has a cheap cash-in available for every potential blockbuster. (Except for superhero movies, bizarrely enough.)

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The Asylum always has a cheap cash-in available for every potential blockbuster. (Except for superhero movies, bizarrely enough.)

I'm pretty disappointed that we didn't get "The Revengers" with the Almighty Thor, one of the Transmorphers, C. Thomas Howell, and Mark Decascos facing off against Richard Grieco and SS Doomtrooper :( I'm crossing my fingers that they'll have "Guardians of the Solar System" ready to go by next summer.

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Anyone else find it odd that the actors playing Hansel and Gretel are 15 years apart? They wouldn't have both been children at the time of their original run-in with the witch. It's like in "Ghost Rider" when you see the young version of the characters and they're the same age, but then years later Nicolas Cage is clearly at least a decade older than Eva Mendes.

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Agreed, they should catch this while it's in the theaters. I'm curious if it wasn't made years ago and just released because Jeremy Renner was in the new Bourne film.

 

I did find this quote from IMDB revealing

"In an interview with Famke Janssen at Cannes 2011, she stated that she took her role as the head witch because she had to pay off her mortgage"

 

Hey that's more common than one would think. After listening to a recent interview with Timothy Olyphant, he said he did the Hitman movie only because he didn't think Deadwood wouldn't get cancelled after they raised their salaries and he had just bought a house that he had to pay off. He then said he didn't want to do a sequel to it because he was still living in the same house.

 

Another person who does shit movies for the check is Gene Hackman who has said he does movies he knows are bad because they'll pay him a few million bucks which allows him to buy more fine art.

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Hey that's more common than one would think. [...] Another person who does shit movies for the check is Gene Hackman who has said he does movies he knows are bad because they'll pay him a few million bucks which allows him to buy more fine art.

 

Are you sure you're not thinking of Steve Martin? Hackman's been retired since "Welcome to Mooseport" (really, Gene?!).

 

But there are lots of examples of this kind of thing. Laurence Olivier's later career was all about this; he knew that, since he didn't have long to live, he'd take whatever roles paid a lot so he could leave his family lots of cash. And, in a fairly rare example that produced a classic, Kareem Abdul-Jabar only took his role in "Airplane!" to buy an oriental rug. (Apparently sports figures haven't always been paid like they are nowadays.)

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This movie was not screened for critics. I wonder how many wide release movies don't get screened to critics and end up with a positive rating on RT.

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This movie was not screened for critics. I wonder how many wide release movies don't get screened to critics and end up with a positive rating on RT.

It would be interesting, especially with something that's probably really good that's a surefire hit, if we saw a big tentpole movie that's not screened for critics, just to prove that their word usually doesn't mean anything when it comes to things that people really WANT to see regardless of what anyone says about it. I mean, "Hansel and Gretel" ain't that kind of film, that's for sure.

 

I've worked at a theater for way too long, and the only time I hear any talk from customers about what critics think is when they're trying to convince the people they're with to see/not see something, and it's almost always in favor of another film that was as equally praised or shit on.

 

"I don't know, I've heard bad reviews for 'Grown Ups'. We should really see 'Jonah Hex' instead". I shit you not.

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Hey that's more common than one would think. After listening to a recent interview with Timothy Olyphant, he said he did the Hitman movie only because he didn't think Deadwood wouldn't get cancelled after they raised their salaries and he had just bought a house that he had to pay off. He then said he didn't want to do a sequel to it because he was still living in the same house.

 

Another person who does shit movies for the check is Gene Hackman who has said he does movies he knows are bad because they'll pay him a few million bucks which allows him to buy more fine art.

 

I really liked Hitman and wish they would make a sequel. It was directed by Xavier Gens who did an even better movie called The Divide with Michael Biehn from Terminator. Very powerful and disturbing movie.

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I really liked Hitman and wish they would make a sequel. It was directed by Xavier Gens who did an even better movie called The Divide with Michael Biehn from Terminator. Very powerful and disturbing movie.

 

I too liked Hitman, for as much as I can like a video game movie. They were pretty close to a sequel with a script being drafted and even some actors being ready to sign, but with out Mr. Olyphantastic, thanks Kevin Smith, the movie is pretty much D.O.A. for at least until Justified is still on the air.

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Are you sure you're not thinking of Steve Martin? Hackman's been retired since "Welcome to Mooseport" (really, Gene?!).

 

But there are lots of examples of this kind of thing. Laurence Olivier's later career was all about this; he knew that, since he didn't have long to live, he'd take whatever roles paid a lot so he could leave his family lots of cash. And, in a fairly rare example that produced a classic, Kareem Abdul-Jabar only took his role in "Airplane!" to buy an oriental rug. (Apparently sports figures haven't always been paid like they are nowadays.)

 

That's what I always remember hearing about Hackman, though to be fair his last few movies haven't been the greatest so he probably can't ask for the paychecks that he was once used to. That or he has run out of wall space.

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I don't think this has been recommended, but I saw the new "Hansel & Gretel" in the theaters with a friend, and IT WAS HORRIBLE. Medieval insulin shots, leather pants, and semi-automatic weapons, plus the overtones of incestual attraction between Hansel and Gretel. Oh man. This movie needs to be reviewed on the podcast!

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I am currently watching this movie and it is literally bonkers and makes no sense it will be great.

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I just watched this movie last night and it was so ridiculous! I expected it to be bad, but it was SO awful. I especially love how Hansel has some disease from eating too much sugar and that they're in their hometown the whole time and don't even know it? Ugh and the weapons...

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Hansel has some disease from eating too much sugar

 

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Produced by Gary Sanchez Productions (Adam McKay and Will Ferrell), ie. the guys who run Funny or Die, Earwolf's partner site. Seems unlikely to get covered.

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I watched this last night on Netflix streaming and it's a real Gem. Peter Stormare, "sugar sickness" gruesome deaths, and very well done and competent fights.

 

It's an incredibly stupid premise with well shot fights. It's fun and would give the hosts plenty to discuss.

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