Tango and Cash

[llperks 1]

I don't know how you can do Sylvester Stallone movies and not cover Tango and Cash. Stallone and Kurt Russell got drunk one night and decided this movie would be fun to make. How was this allowed to happen?

 

I love this movie, but holy crap, is it bad! I'd love you guys to do it.

 

Also, Please come to Chicago!

 

Luke

[lawdawg 0]

They need to make this happen. NOW!

 

Let me count just a few of the ways this movie is insane -- Stallone plays the "smart" cop, a prison breakout, extraneous ass shot of Stallone and Russell at said prison, good guys randomly acqure an advanced off-road vehicle which is convenient since the evil HQ is surrounded by a monster truck rally course, and Jack Palance.

 

This is a classic good-bad movie, right up there with Roadhouse.

[denimgremlin 1179]

I would love to see Tango and Cash done. so much bonkers shit in this movie, Kurt Russell has a gun built into the heel of his boot! and he only uses it in the opening scene, never explained or mentioned again.

 

and it has that dude witht the fucking crazy huge face!

[BorisMelvin 5]

There's so much to dissect in this movie. There's a tanker truck literally filled with cocaine. There's all the shit with electricity. And Kurt Russell gets shot multiple times and the gunshots never affect his ass kicking abilities.

[denimgremlin 1179]

There's so much to dissect in this movie. There's a tanker truck literally filled with cocaine. There's all the shit with electricity. And Kurt Russell gets shot multiple times and the gunshots never affect his ass kicking abilities.

 

when they're being electricuted in the jail, then are totally fine, is one of the most wtf moments ever.

 

nice name btw!

[stellamarch16 5]

Yup, this movie is so bad that it's good. It's great fun while it lasts and both Russel and Stallone were clearly having a ball, while acting in this movie.

[AndrewMurray 21]

The best cop buddy movie ever,

[PhillipMedoc 648]

and it has that dude with the fucking crazy huge face!

 

I haven't seen Tango & Cash and I don't even need to look up IMDB, because your reaction can only point to one man:

 

 

Robert Z'Dar! Dude has been toiling around in Z-movie muck for decades, he's the greatest. Unfortunately he doesn't look the picture of health these days, though he makes the convention rounds. If you want a hilariously bad/good movie, check out Samurai Cop, he's one of the bad guys -- bet you couldn't guess that, eh?

[denimgremlin 1179]

exactly!

 

i had to look him up after i watched it cause i was convinced it was some weird make up. then my mind was blown!

[Lando 2019]

I believe that Tango & Cash is the highest IMDB rated movie that Z'dar has starred in so far. That is telling you something.

[Blueman29X 72]

 

Robert Z'Dar! Dude has been toiling around in Z-movie muck for decades, he's the greatest. Unfortunately he doesn't look the picture of health these days, though he makes the convention rounds. If you want a hilariously bad/good movie, check out Samurai Cop, he's one of the bad guys -- bet you couldn't guess that, eh?

 

I think there's enough in Samurai Cop to cover at least three episodes.

[NicholasEskew 2]

I like the part when the chief talks to Stallone about being a millioniare investment banker so why does he still work as a cop and Stallone says he just wants to clean up the streets or something like that. Bonkers on multiple levels.

[denimgremlin 1179]

I just realized we forgot to mention the Kurt Russell dressing in drag and fooling the cops scene! which ends with him and Teri Hatcher flicking their cigarettes in the dumb dumb cop's face and some how not being beaten to death with billy clubs.

 

holy moley this movie is nuts

[DeathToMikeyBay 130]

In a genre noted for dumbness, this stands out as the dumbest.

 

A Kurt Russel + Silvester Stallone buddy cop movie where Stallone plays the smart one!

 

Jack Palance as a villain who would have been considered too over the top even in the silent movie era.

 

An obsession with dicks and sister fucking.

 

Castration via grenade (see above)

 

Stallone pulling out handcuffs and asking "“Do you like Jewelry?”

 

A bizarrely intense hatred for Asians.

 

A police department that employs a James Bond Q type scientist to invent weapons for them, the latest of which is an armored SUV with side mounted mini-gun, which the heroes use to take on the villain's fleet of giant monster truck sized bulldozers.

 

Showdown at the villain's private office, which includes a funhouse hall of mirrors????

 

 

The following conversation regarding a corrupt official:

 

Tango- "When this is over we’re going to have to pay Jabba the Hut a visit."

Cash- "I'll bring the chainsaw."

Tango- "I'll bring the beer!"

[jarrycanada 2483]

I think this has been recommend before, but it's clearly a HDTGM movie.

[Snake 165]

 

A police department that employs a James Bond Q type scientist to invent weapons for them, the latest of which is an armored SUV with side mounted mini-gun, which the heroes use to take on the villain's fleet of giant monster truck sized bulldozers.

 

Showdown at the villain's private office, which includes a funhouse hall of mirrors????

 

If this guy has giant oil trucks filled to the brim with cocaine, then him having a hall of mirrors and monster trucks isn't so farfetched

[denimgremlin 1179]

please this movie!!!!

 

it's one of my favorites ever, it's perfect for HDTGM

[Lando 2019]

I have a theory that this movie was written on a bet; the bet that someone couldn't make a movie were the script was written entirely of zingers.

[SantosRamos 2]

Tango and Cash is the worst movie that I can watch over and over and over..

[SlidePocket 707]

There's already a thread by the way:

 

http://forum.earwolf.com/topic/10755-tango-and-cash-one-of-the-craziest-buddy-cop-movies-ever/

[Snake 165]

Showdown at the villain's private office, which includes a funhouse hall of mirrors????

 

 

When I saw Enter the Dragon for the first time, I decided then and there that if I ever became a supervillain of some sorts, I would totally have a hidden mirror room to lure people into behind my office. I totally understand the choice they went with here.

[PhoenixSunMarino-Ramer 5]

I wholeheartedly support this. Tango & Cash is completely 100% bonkers. Literally certifiable, on the spectrum, upsetting, masterpiece of a bad movie. It covers all the HDTGM talking points. The pacing is a coke fueled nightmare where nothing is established. Everything just happens. Not one portion of it makes sense. Now I know Tango & Cash is kind of supposed to be "funny" but none of the stuff in this that's actually funny was done intentionaly, I'm certain of it. I could write a lengthy dissertation on this movie and I would get all of the degrees just because this movie is so insane. ALL of the degrees you guys.

[denimgremlin 1179]

I wholeheartedly support this. Tango & Cash is completely 100% bonkers. Literally certifiable, on the spectrum, upsetting, masterpiece of a bad movie. It covers all the HDTGM talking points. The pacing is a coke fueled nightmare where nothing is established. Everything just happens. Not one portion of it makes sense. Now I know Tango & Cash is kind of supposed to be "funny" but none of the stuff in this that's actually funny was done intentionaly, I'm certain of it. I could write a lengthy dissertation on this movie and I would get all of the degrees just because this movie is so insane. ALL of the degrees you guys.

 

YES thank you!

 

This movie is still my number 1 pick for a movie HDTGM hasn't done yet, it needs more support! please please please do this movie. Kurt Russell has a gun in the heel of his cowboy boot, and they only use it in one scene! the insane strip club scene where Terry Hactcher does her bonkers electronic drum solo striptease thing then dresses up Kurt Russell in the least convincing drag ever to escape alone could fill an entire episode!!

[PhoenixSunMarino-Ramer 5]

God why was she drumming!? What about Owen the weird inventor guy? What is up with his performance? This movie is a freaking gold mine. Also, glasses make Stallones face look less like it's melting, which is a plus.

[PhoenixSunMarino-Ramer 5]

And the main villain is overacting on par with Jeremy Irons in Dungeons & Dragons