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JulyDiaz

Episode 64 — After Earth

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Giant birds, weird wheelchairs, and ghosting are just some of the unbelievable things that are found in the Will & Jaden Smith vehicle After Earth. Paul, June, Jason, and Paul F. Tompkins discuss future British accents, an emotionless Will Smith, and animals that do nothing but kill. They also talk about the possible references to Scientology, a future with no doors & only a sword as a weapon, and June’s interpretation of what really happened in the birthday candles flashback scene.

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Paul F. Tompkins back on the show? Fuck Yes!

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After Earth and Paul F... can't wait! EDIT: Hilarious. Junes understanding of the facetime scene was amazing.

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I didn't think Pasta Robot could be topped, then came "What's a Street Fighter?". I didn't think "What's a Street Fighter?" could be topped, then came After Earth Birthday Candle Facetime. You're awesome, June, leaky eye and all!

 

I feel totally vindicated for "enjoying" this movie. People and critics have been huge assholes about this film and the family Smith, tremendously silly though they may be, and I was worried this episode might be more of the same. Thank you, HDTGM, for being reasonable, fair, and hilarious.

 

My favorite moment in this film, during which I was honestly stifling laughter, is when Jaden Smith finds a piece of the crashed spaceship but has to clear away the brush to see the name on it to make sure it's a piece of HIS crashed spaceship.

 

And they never even touched on the beacon that Jaden has to walk around with like he has bad cellphone reception.

 

I really want to reiterate how happy I am that the ribbing of this movie remained so good-natured. I smile when I think back on it as if to say, "Aww. It's so cute that you thought this would work!"

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Also, was anyone else under the impression that this whole movie was going to end up being a training program, possibly VR? Especially when Jaden goes through the same experience for "ghosting" - i.e. being hit in the same shoulder as his father with an ursa pincer and then immediately falling into water juuuust like his father. Also taking into account all the ridiculous life-threatening experiences he goes through all at once. It all seems like it is pointing toward being a giant test. Full disclosure, I am only like 10 minutes into this episode, so my apologies if any of this gets discussed in the episode proper.

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I literally just gasped in glee to see PFT as the guest! Can't wait to listen! Squeeeee!

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Umm, so when Will Smith goes over to the spaceship window and feels it vibrating against his medallion, what exactly about the asteroid field is causing the ship's window to vibrate? There's no air in space, and hence no sound, so where were the vibrations coming from...?

 

PFT is always such a great guest on podcasts, in or out of character. He had really great chemistry with the gang as they riffed on this movie.

 

And as for this movie...Jesus. What a dumb, dumb message. Fear is a choice? No, it's a biological reaction to stimuli which was helped humanity survive for millions of years by nagging us with important shit like "hey, you better eat soon or you'll die horribly emaciated", or "hmm, maybe I shouldn't get any closer to that hissing sound in the bushes".

 

And what's up with all these pussies around the world in Syria and Turkey and North Korea afraid for themselves and their families because of famine, disease, war and genocide? Didn't they get the memo from the great M Night? Stop being so afraid!

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I literally almost died when June explained her Birthday-Facetime theory, that was amazing

 

"Will Smith had gotten to a place where he had such mind control and power"

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And what's up with all these pussies around the world in Syria and Turkey and North Korea afraid for themselves and their families because of famine, disease, war and genocide? Didn't they get the memo from the great M Night? Stop being so afraid!

 

I think you're giving too much credit to M. Night and not enough to Will Smith.

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Kind of off topic, but has anyone else noticed that movies from year to year follow some sort of common thread? Last year the big thing was Archery (Brave, Avengers, Hunger Games, etc.) this year it is this sci fi genre focused on Earth being a terrible place (Elysium, After Earth, Oblivion).

 

Back to the topic, I'm halfway through this ep and still not one single "afterbirth" joke. I'm getting worried.

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Kind of off topic, but has anyone else noticed that movies from year to year follow some sort of common thread? Last year the big thing was Archery (Brave, Avengers, Hunger Games, etc.) this year it is this sci fi genre focused on Earth being a terrible place (Elysium, After Earth, Oblivion).

 

Back to the topic, I'm halfway through this ep and still not one single "afterbirth" joke. I'm getting worried.

 

This year it seems to be a preoccupation with blowing up the White House and taking the President hostage. There are several shitty movies that have that as a main theme.

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I wanted to go see this movie last weekend, but didn't have anyone to go with. No one wanted to go see this, but I think I'll go see by myself, fuck it.

 

So, what I'm curious about is why isn't Will Smith putting Jaden in teen movies? Or movies targeted toward teens, like the Karate Kid. Unless, Jaden is trying to be known as a sci-fi actor? Is that a thing?

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I don't think June was incorrect in her facetime assessment. Will Smith actually can blow out the candles through a video because he's reached OT Level 8. He can also walk on water.

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Hello people of After Earth!

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I just wanna share this photo of Spike Lee at the premiere. He's like, "Fuck this movie. I'm just here to try to get Will attached to my next project."

 

http://www.imdb.com/...95488/tt1815862

 

Spike makes that face a lot. His disinterest in hollywood type stuff is one of my favorite things ever. I can't believe someone else noticed that.

 

Screen_shot_2013_06_11_at_10_47_26_AM.png

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PFT killed when he made the reference to "The Master."

 

"You decide for yourself whether it is not on you. Now go over and touch the wall and then walk back and touch the window."

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This year it seems to be a preoccupation with blowing up the White House and taking the President hostage. There are several shitty movies that have that as a main theme.

Actually, I think that might just be a coincidence. I mean, for someone else to have the nerve to make a White House siege movie in the same year that Roland Emmerich is putting out a film? I mean, you don't even have to know WHAT the film is about, as the White House is probably not going to survive, seeing as how he's destroyed it in at least three different movies so far (ID4, Day After Tomorrow, 2012).

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Spike makes that face a lot. His disinterest in hollywood type stuff is one of my favorite things ever. I can't believe someone else noticed that.

 

Screen_shot_2013_06_11_at_10_47_26_AM.png

 

Have you ever had the chance to hear him speak? He came to my college during sophomore year and we expected him to talk about African Americans in movies and how we are portrayed in movies and maybe give some insight onto why it is we always have to be the bad guys. (Case in point, there is a movie called "Safety Not Guaranteed" that does this shit. There is a scene where the main characters are asked to stand -- just stand -- in a place where there are two black people talking. Just two black folks minding their own damn business. The characters FREAK THE FUCK OUT and act as if you were asking them to stand in a pit of snakes!)

 

But all he did was talk about his career and the movies he's made and tell us how we can buy those movies. Also, the Q and A section was just actors handing him their headshots and resumes. It was atrocious.

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Actually, I think that might just be a coincidence. I mean, for someone else to have the nerve to make a White House siege movie in the same year that Roland Emmerich is putting out a film? I mean, you don't even have to know WHAT the film is about, as the White House is probably not going to survive, seeing as how he's destroyed it in at least three different movies so far (ID4, Day After Tomorrow, 2012).

 

Naw, that's not a coincidence. The main plot is the White House is being attacked. One is starring the dude from "300" and the other is starring Jamie Foxx as the President.

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