Episode 34 — The Dark Planet

[JulyDiaz 2797]

We’re off to follow the coordinates that our heroes have received with the help of Stargoyle on this week’s Nerd Poker! The coordinates lead them to the mysterious dark planet that orbits a giant red orb of a sun. You won’t believe what they find! Plus, we hear a couple of gems as the gang shares some of their best answering machine messages!

[AJValliant 266]

This is the first one I had to wait to listen to. Anticipation makes it all the sweeter.

[DavidPayne 7]

It's shocking how addicted I am to this podcast. I've never even played D&D. Thanks guys!

[TallonChandler 6]

COUNTER HEADBUTT, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Compliments to Sark for a super creepy turn of events.

This is another awesome example of Sark strongly iplying what to do and it going totally unnoticed by the gang.

And Brian just needs to go Nuetral. No one will judge him.

[RobotsPJs 123]

Oh! That was me they had paraphrased at the begining about bad decision making.

 

I'm an expert in poor decision making in RPGs. We played a Star Wars game that was one terrible decison to the next, which included one character standing next to a ticking timebomb and losing his arm after it blew up, me firing missiles into the engine of a ship that had someone I was trying to save on it, and another friend walking into the middle of a giant street brawl and getting his skull crushed.

 

Anyway, welcome to planet Heavy Metal, team!

 

Holy crap, the answering machine phone messages thing is stuck in my head now.

 

Edited July 17, 2013 by RobotsPajamas

[SeejoCrux 4]

Just listened to all 34 episodes in a few days. Glad I did!

 

Sark's Outer Planar Space Odyssey is great radio. My only complaint is that there was discussion about switching away from D&D 4e because it was doing more harm than good (especially with the lack of map-based tactical combat), but the switch hasn't happened yet. There's got to be a Spelljammer d20 game out there somewhere that would suit the storyline much better and not leave the players dumbfounded by their own character sheets.

 

Here's hoping for another 30+ episodes! Keep up the good work gang.

[RichardsCopyCat 22]

Please, PLEASE, spend more time explaining outdated technology. <--- 100% sincere.

 

"Ebony, mirror-stone" .... Obsidian, methinks?

 

Great episode, I love the sinister, dark tower planet. I'm going to keep an eye on the listened art board after this ep.

[NotBettyWhite 137]

When Sark talks for Sir Richard, he almost sounds like Alan Rickman.

[Jayph 9]

The party has made it to planet Harkonnen. Heart plugs for all!

[FreelanceSculptor 3]

Hey Brian and friends,

 

Just wanted to say thank you for another great episode!

 

Nerd Poker gets me through my work week and I just happen to make gaming miniatures for a living.

 

Your collective gaming efforts have inspired me to make some Nerd Poker miniatures in my down time.

 

First up is Amarth, I did a quick head sculpt during my lunch break.

 

 

Brian, let me know if you'd like anything revised and if you have any special requests for pose/armor/weapons/scars/etc.

 

I'll post updates as I work through the rest of the sculpt in the coming weeks.

 

Thanks for entertaining me while I work!

 

Best regards,

 

Ben Misenar

www.freelancesculptor.com

[FreelanceSculptor 3]

The party has made it to planet Harkonnen. Heart plugs for all!

 

Nice, I wonder who's going to end up milking a cat to stay alive

[Corky Kneivel 113]

When Sark talks for Sir Richard, he almost sounds like Alan Rickman.

 

He almost sounds like Bruce Willis DOING Alan Rickman

[RobotsPJs 123]

Thinking about it... it's a real possibilty that the planet they are on has been abandoned in favor of a better place. Like Wall-E, but with corpses.

[black spot 2]

So, if I remember correctly, Sark said this dark planet is the size of Jupiter, correct? If so, and if I did my math right, the amount of human(oid) bodies needed to mash together a Jupiter-sized planet would be 215,554,490,000,000,000,000,000 (or 2.1555449e²³ or 215.554 sextillion). So there's that.

 

(This is based on the assumption that Jupiter's volume is 1,431,281,810,739,360 km³ and the volume of a human body is 0.06640 m³.)

[Corky Kneivel 113]

Great episode. Loved the pace, the game play, and that planet just got creepier and creepier. In my head I saw that hallway of paintings like a cut scene from a game. A 1st person POV of the endless hallway of paintings and you hear the character mutter incredulously "What the...".

 

Wait for the beep you gotta leave your name, gotta leave your number

[benk 257]

I was pretty uncomfortable listening to this episode and didn't really realize it until i figured out that I was legitimately creeped out by the planet they found. Awesome storytelling, Mr. Sark!

[RobotsPJs 123]

So, if I remember correctly, Sark said this dark planet is the size of Jupiter, correct? If so, and if I did my math right, the amount of human(oid) bodies needed to mash together a Jupiter-sized planet would be 215,554,490,000,000,000,000,000 (or 2.1555449e²³ or 215.554 sextillion). So there's that.

 

(This is based on the assumption that Jupiter's volume is 1,431,281,810,739,360 km³ and the volume of a human body is 0.06640 m³.)

 

Mayhaps the only area they've seen is covered in bodies i.e. the other half of the hemishere is relatively body free?

[Silly Lacy 102]

I was singing Ken's "Beauty and the Beep" outgoing message to myself all day long.

 

The worst answering machine outgoing messages were the ones with people's kids in them. I know, because I was one of those kids.

 

Great episode! I want them to run screaming and slashing through those mech formations because it's creeping me out for them to be in the middle of all of that potential chaos. Or near the lift now that it started moving again. That creepy old necromancer sounds like a date rapist harvesting a harem of interstellar lady-slaves.

[mattman92ish 823]

ahh this was great it never fails to make me laugh ...im a stargoyle... are you?

[SamKoonce 0]

Is it just me? Or does Blaine's Fonz impersonation sound more like Michael Keaton's Beetlejuice?

[Ryan Riddell 110]

*plays music*

 

"Hey, it's the Fonz here! I just wanted to talk to you guys about Trojan condoms. If it wasn't obvious from the television show I starred in, I have had a disturbing amount of casual sex! That's why I always keep a few extra condoms in my leather jacket at all times to protect myself! WHOA!

 

The Fonz says: Use Trojan Condoms, so you don't get Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-ids"

[Stargoyle 78]

ahh this was great it never fails to make me laugh ...im a stargoyle... are you?

 

Yup

[StopMakingSense 88]

Ken saying "What a shithole," during Sark's description of the planet made me laugh harder than I should have.

[Silly Lacy 102]

Ken saying "What a shithole," during Sark's description of the planet made me laugh harder than I should have.

Most of what Ken says makes me giggle. It just gets right to the kid in me and I laugh in that way that I'm embarrassed to be laughing, but I'm alone so I do it anyway.

[thestray 361]

For some reason the hall of paintings was creeping me out more than all the dead bodies. This is the most nervous I've felt for the gang since they were fighting in that water dimension.