Episode 8 — Damien Fahey, Our Close Friend

[Freja 1290]

This episode just goes to show you that this is the big leagues, folks. You can't just toss any old question out there and expect to get it answered by a big time Hollywood insider. You really have to put some time and effort into wording it juuussssttt right. For example, my cool & funny question made it on the show for one simple reason. Know why? I ended it with the phrase "in that joint." That's because A) I know that Hollywood Insiders are in a big time hurry and only have time to listen to the last 3 words of a question, and I know that big time Hollywood Insider types love. doing. drugs.

 

Just a little tip from your old pal and soon to be Big Hollywood Insider Fatcat Toby Keith Sweat.

 

I'm having a bit of an identity crisis over here. I've spent the last day hiding in a blanket cave due to my feelings of shame over what transpired on the podcast. D-man made me realize that I've spent 20+ years identifying myself by what I thought was a name but was really just a sound. Gee, thanks mom and dad!! Then to add to the embarrassment, the last 3 words of my question were "for each topping" like the f-ing dumdum that I am! Dammit! I just can't get this Hollywood (or forum) thing right. I guess I'm just grateful for people like toby keith sweat for setting a good example for me to aspire to. We all saw D-man's Cupcake Wars appearance but did any of us think to ask about it? NO! Only toby keith sweat did because that's the type of pro he is. God bless you, tks!!!

[Freja 1290]

Freja, what are you going to legally change your name to so someone actually answers your question next time?

 

What do you think I should change it to?? Something American and wholesome? Doris maybe? (as in Doris Day obvi). Growing up on a tomato farm in Sweden with a fucking sound for a name didn't exactly set me up for Hollywood greatness. Man, my parents really screwed the pooch on this one. Until I find a better name that's not a sound, I'm going into hiding-->

[hugLife 492]

 

What do you think I should change it to?? Something American and wholesome? Doris maybe? (as in Doris Day obvi). Growing up on a tomato farm in Sweden with a fucking sound for a name didn't exactly set me up for Hollywood greatness. Man, my parents really screwed the pooch on this one. Until I find a better name that's not a sound, I'm going into hiding-->

 

To be honest, I think that Sean and Hayes kind of set you up for failure on that one. They were obviously stunned by Damien Fahey's A-List presence, and actually let him set the terms of hearing that question. The buzz on the street is that he only eats calzones anyway.

[OcterDoctopus 1079]

Freja, what are you going to legally change your name to so someone actually answers your question next time?

That strategy would never work, trust me

[OcterDoctopus 1079]

Everyone here seems too polite to ask, but not me--what's up with the band-aid on Hayes' nose?

 

Which then begs the question of was the injury a result of sexual misadventure, plastic surgery, or drugs? (Some combination?)

[mattyzmatty 157]

Alright this fucking traffic is beyond a joke now

[greggy 15909]

 

What do you think I should change it to?? Something American and wholesome? Doris maybe? (as in Doris Day obvi). Growing up on a tomato farm in Sweden with a fucking sound for a name didn't exactly set me up for Hollywood greatness. Man, my parents really screwed the pooch on this one. Until I find a better name that's not a sound, I'm going into hiding-->

i always liked "Hrhooooooh"

[OcterDoctopus 1079]

Growing up on a tomato farm in Sweden...

Freja is now VIKING TOMATER

[NotTheNarnold 413]

I really like the name Freja, I think D-Man is wrong about it. But then again I'm into Norse mythology so I'm biased.

[hugLife 492]

I really like the name Freja, I think D-Man is wrong about it. But then again I'm into Norse mythology so I'm biased.

 

It was probably because of how fast it was pulled out of the popcorn gallery. The first question was a regular reach in, the second was from the very bottom of the bag, and the last one was apparently right off the top. Damien, or "Day-Fay" as he is known to close friends (me), likes things delivered with style. That is what went wrong.

[xoValeriexo 4369]

I overheard a woman on the phone at Target say "Where did Courtney's Dad get that hat? It friggin' cracked me up." Now I'm just trying to figure out if it was Sean's mom, Sean sister, or Sean's middle-aged daughter, because ya'll know that's a Clements.

 

Questions for the forum posters:

 

You playin' the new Mario or Zelda?

 

You celebrating tofurky day? Any vegetarians up in here?

 

What are you buying your Mom for the holidays? If she's dead, please tell me what happened and be genuine about it.

 

Anyone besides Narnold have a blog? And, hey, what happened to my Earwolf anon on Tumblr? Rude.

 

If you have kibby cats, what are their names?

[greggy 15909]

im allergic to cats but if i wasnt and i liked cats i would name it garfield after america's funniest, fattest, lasagna loving president john garfield

[NotTheNarnold 413]

No VB I'm none of those things and I'm not playing Mario or Zelda. I haven't had a Nintendo console since the Cube!

[NotTheNarnold 413]

Oh also my mom is alive but I had to put my kitty that we had for 16 years last Black Friday, her name was Biscuit. I miss her a lot, to be serious for a moment.

[hugLife 492]

Questions for the forum posters:

 

You playin' the new Mario or Zelda?

 

You celebrating tofurky day? Any vegetarians up in here?

 

Hey Veeb, I stopped playing Mario after I saw the breath-taking portrayal of that character on the silver screen. Yes, I must honestly say that Mario began and ended for me with two words 1. Bob 2. Hodgkins

 

But, I am celebrating a tofurky, because I too am a vegetabletarian.

 

I don't have a cat either, but there is literally no way to come up with a better name than John Garfield, so I won't bother insulting the forum anything less than the best.

[greggy 15909]

 

Hey Veeb, I stopped playing Mario after I saw the breath-taking portrayal of that character on the silver screen. Yes, I must honestly say that Mario began and ended for me with two words 1. Bob 2. Hodgkins

ooo good choice i love his lymphoma

[kobthatreal 5896]

Is it just me or are all of you the same person with several accounts?

[greggy 15909]

thats the meanest thing anyone has ever said to me

[hugLife 492]

Is it just me or are all of you the same person with several accounts?

 

I didn't post that under the name Bill Russel Crowe to throw you off of my trail.

[xoValeriexo 4369]

Narnold: I’m sorry about Biscuit. Putting a pet down is the worst thing in the world. I bet she was a cutie. Also, get a Wii U, you cooch magoo. Then you can play Wii games like Super Mario Galaxy too. It’s one of the best games ever.

 

hugLife: For real? We’re friends now. Wanna come over my house and watch Milo & Otis?

 

Greggy: I’ve never had a cat named Garfield, but I did have one named Nermal. But that’s not related at all, so I don’t know why I said it.

 

Bill Russell Crowe: You’re a bully and I won’t be bullied in my own town.

[chanson 9697]

Valerie Bryant,

 

No to Zelda and Mario. Not a vegetarian. My Mom isn't dead but I don't buy her things. I didn't ask to be born, so she needs to stop acting like she did me some sort of favor by giving birth to me. No blog.

 

This is my kitty kat, Dreidel:

 

She meows funny. She loves Gelmania but isn't a huge fan of Hollywood Handjobs. She misses the Reality show SHOW. She is a lapsed Jew but still makes us leave a seat open for Elijah during Passover. It's awkward because I don't think she understands we aren't Jewish. How should I tell her?

 

Bill Russell Crowe, I am definitely not not Hayes and/or Sean. Wait, no. Yeah. Fuck.

 

Sent from my iPhone.

 

PS - I can vouch for Toby Keith Sweat as well, he's Miley Cyrus.

 

PPS - I can also vouch for Erika Thompson, she's too alt to be like anyone else.

 

PPPS - Also, your logic is flawed. if it was just you, it wouldn't be all of us with several accounts. That would be impossible. You're welcome.

[hugLife 492]

hugLife: For real? We’re friends now. Wanna come over my house and watch Milo & Otis?

 

Hey Veeb, yes, I eat vegetables for real. It may take me a while to get to your house though; I'm getting my jet detailed and I loaned my helicopter out to Barack for the holidays (the heli is actually a timeshare).

 

Regarding Milo & Otis...too scary.

[OcterDoctopus 1079]

I don't know about one person using several accounts, but its already been established that a few of these accounts are personas that are created by several writers. This account, for instance, we're a group of comedy writers for Fox News. We're training our comedy sportz skills so we can one day come up with an anti-Daily Show. Keep that in mind every time you smirk at an OcterDoctopus post.

[Freja 1290]

Oh also my mom is alive but I had to put my kitty that we had for 16 years last Black Friday, her name was Biscuit. I miss her a lot, to be serious for a moment.

 

RIP, Biscuit! I bet she's chasing mice and eating tuna filets up in kitty heaven. Letting go of a pet is the absolute worst. Have you considered getting another one to fill the void? I just adopted a hot mess of a cat; blind, deaf, strokey-looking face due to a botched ear abscess surgery and FIV-positive. But he's a total sweetheart.

 

[mattyzmatty 157]

Here's my cat: