Left Behind (2014)

[Snake 165]

Wow the new movie poster is out and it literally features a blurb from "Satan"

 

 

So this is going to be ridiculous

[sillstaw 414]

I finally got curious about this quote from Satan, and it says, "Please do not take unbelievers to this movie." I'm sure the meaning they wanted people to take was, "This movie will show them the light!" But to me, it struck me as, "They will laugh and laugh," which is a surprising thing for Satan to say about a Christian message movie. Unless... no, he couldn't be involved... could he?

 

"Son of God" was the Jesus one, and all THAT was was an edited down version of the Bible TV mini series from a couple years back with a couple of deleted scenes, and apparently, they really didn't market it as such, because we did have customers that left it that were like "Ummmmm, I think we already saw this. Was this on TV?". So yeah, shady as fuuuuuuuuck. They'd already made all their money back with "The Bible" TV and DVD sales, so "Son of God" was a triple-dip, QUADRUPLE now with this week's DVD release.

 

I remember a story on NBC Nightly News about "Son of God," and how it was the first of a wave of Christian-themed movies coming out this year. I was highly amused by one of the details they mentioned, which was how it was opening in about 3,000 theaters. I'm sure that sounds like a lot to regular people, but if you follow new movies all that closely, you know that's actually a really common number for wide release movies (and, if anything, is actually pretty small). Upon hearing it, I got curious and looked at Box Office Mojo, and found that the "300" sequel was opening in even more theaters, which strangely didn't inspire news stories about how it was the first of a wave of movies involving evisceration.

 

At one point, when we had both "God's Not Dead" and "Heaven is For Real", someone came in and was like "I'll take one for Jesus is Alive", which didn't really sound like either of them, and then we went back and forth for a bit before he finally said "the one where the kid sees heaven", which is really what he should have led with. That's par for the course though when trying to figure out ANY movie where the customer doesn't know the name.

 

It reminds me of the bit on "30 Rock" where Kenneth says that, instead of choosing candidates, he just writes in "God" on his ballots (to which Jack responds that those are counted as Republican). If there's just one religious movie at the theater, I wonder if I could go up to the cashier and just say, "Give me that movie about God, doesn't matter what it's called," and get a ticket to it anyway without much fuss.

[Snake 165]

I started reading the reviews for this movie and it gave me an idea for a drinking game called "Left Behind Roulette." Basically, you and another person would take turns opening up the reviews off its Rotten Tomatoes page. You then have to drink every time the word "Sharknado" is written in that review.

 

Unfortunately, I only found 4 instances of that word out of the 30 reviews I cntrl+F'ed through. What is amazing though is that this movie currently sits at 3% approval on RT! And there are only 30 reviews, so it's just 1 positive one. The number of Sharknado references in professional reviews is higher than the % approval rate. Really let that sink in. I don't know if we'll ever see anything like this again.

[Lando 2019]

I am clearly a glutton for punishment because I just added the OG trilogy and Fireproof to my Netflix queue.

[jarrycanada 2483]

This:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFu8cjaPmEA

 

Basically, these were a series of trashy Christian lit that Cameron adapted to straight-to-dvd quality films.

 

I am so sorry I didn't notice this before. Can we do this movie instead, pauls already said Jason Mantzoukas not up to reviewing nick cage movies anymore. most likely because he wants to write them but he didn't say anything about Kirk Cameron!!

 

Please don't take a sip when you watch this trailer. as soon as "Cloud 10 pictures" came up on the screen, I almost shot my coffee across the room. Sounds like Cloud 9 from outer space to me.

 

Peace in the middle east and only christianity can bring it. Peace on you!

 

did he say Namesake Entertainment, amazing!

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

Please don't take a sip when you watch this trailer. as soon as "Cloud 10 pictures" came up on the screen, I almost shot my coffee across the room. Sounds like Cloud 9 from outer space to me.

I see no similarities at all. In fact, I don't know who in their right mind would run the risk of having themselves associated or confused with that classic...I mean, abomination.

[Lando 2019]

Well then who has Cloud 11? It's one cloudier.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Well then who has Cloud 11? It's one cloudier.

Maybe they should make Cloud 10 cloudier so that they don't need an 11!

[jarrycanada 2483]

Well then who has Cloud 11? It's one cloudier.

 

CLOUD 11 Is an adult entertainment network.

[jarrycanada 2483]

I think we all hit that at the same time...LOL

 

Lando won this round. congrats.

[Wien 401]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrXe8YDbzYs

[jarrycanada 2483]

I heard this movie is being remarketed, here is the new poster and film name.

 

[jarrycanada 2483]

Found this tonight at avclub. God only knows how they made a worse version of Left Behind.

[VinsanityV22 500]

I was really sad that this week's minisode wasn't a call-to-arms to go out to theaters and go see this because they're discussing it next weekend. I feel like it's been forever since they did a "in theaters" movie - maybe Fast & Furious or Smurfs. If Nicholas Cage can't get Paul to galvanize the masses into their local theaters, who can? WHO, I ask you!?!

 

Without Paul telling me to go see this for next week's show, now I'm just going to wait on reviews, or the DVD... or when it hits Netflix

 

This looks amazing too. It really looks like Cage has brought his A-game here.

[Ghost of HST 71]

I feel sad for Nicolas Cage...How effin' poor is he?

[MondayCity 194]

Wow the new movie poster is out and it literally features a blurb from "Satan"

 

 

So this is going to be ridiculous

Satan's quote was taken out of context. You have to read his whole review. He loved this movie.

[RyanSz 3140]

Coming this fall, everybody! It's gonna be some crazy Rapture, religion-exploiting garbage. You can see the trailer on the Facebook page:

https://www.facebook...647482285318432

 

Why do Cage and Murray both look surprised to be in the poster?

 

Also I wonder if this somehow manages to be a success do they begin to whitewash the later entries in the series, which are known for being batshit crazy and over-the-top violent even by horror or action novel standards. Hell even the video game based on the books was cause for controversy when it basically came across as your character, who mind you is trying to be good and get into Heaven, murdering people by the boatloads because they didn't believe in Jesus. It was so bad that even the reviled Jack Thompson who wore his religious craziness on his sleeve went "okay maybe you should pull it back a bit."

[justinmh05 1968]

I was really sad that this week's minisode wasn't a call-to-arms to go out to theaters and go see this because they're discussing it next weekend. I feel like it's been forever since they did a "in theaters" movie - maybe Fast & Furious or Smurfs.

 

Winter's Tale with Andy Daly.

 

I soft of agree with what Paul said on the mini-ep that Cage's recent movies aren't really worth doing because they are low-hanging fruit.

 

I am fine with doing an older Cage movie, but Stallone is the patron saint of HDTGM now.

[jarrycanada 2483]

I am really shocked that there is a real trailer for this movie and that it isn't just audience reaction shots of people walking out of the theater. a real bad sign of a doomed movie is a audience reaction shot trailer. anyone remember those? you've seen it, its that trailer you'll see on tv with annoying people walking outside of a test screening, talking about the film to the camera really excitedly. saying "ohh my god that was the most amazing movie of all time" what ever.

 

THEY MADE TWO OF THESE MOVIES!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfRPF5EtFsA

did he say Tribulation Force!

 

[jarrycanada 2483]

never mind

[VinsanityV22 500]

Coming this fall, everybody! It's gonna be some crazy Rapture, religion-exploiting garbage. You can see the trailer on the Facebook page:

https://www.facebook...647482285318432

 

 

That's the poster? Ugh... movie studio, I improved it for ya

 

 

Also, let's just put the words down that will get people in the theaters:

 

 

Oh wait; what's the movie about? Yeah, yeah, devout Christians get sucked up to Heaven, blah, blah. I got that. But what about the "Left Behind"? Cage is fighting the forces of Satan who rise up to take over Earth, right? OR maybe he'd be against God, since He refused to suck him up to Heaven?

 

They really need to cover this, because I'm very unclear on what the central conflict would be

[jarrycanada 2483]

 

2% on rotten tomatoes. I think I have to watch this now.

 

Little rip at the TV show lost in that poster;.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

From a recent Cracked photoshop contest: Nic Cage trying to talk to a guy on fire...

 

[jarrycanada 2483]

From a recent Cracked photoshop contest: Nic Cage trying to talk to a guy on fire...

 

 

Love it,

 

that cage is a real people helper. i've picked the perfect music for that picture.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6l6vqPUM_FE

 

 

[jarrycanada 2483]

So I watched left behind last night and my question of the day is why do all religious movies have to suck? I mean at times the level of acting in this movie is like the room. the only thing that is strong and true during this movie is Nicolas cage. he really is a good actor and he is professional and it shows when the other actors in this film talk. as bad as this film is he is still entertaining to watch and provides a top level acting job. Kind of reminded me of Trapped in Paradise as bad as that film was, Nicolas cage is still providing a reasonable performance. he's not doing anything crazy or giving us that full cage that we have come to known and love and want. he's just there for the pay check. but the man can still make any birthday party or dinner theater event a top evening. one that will be spoken about for years to come.

 

As far as the film goes peace of shit.

 

Only main thing i was upset about was where the fuck was the Hare Krishnas at the airport?

 

 

You goto LA-x and if you don't see Hare Krishnas, well my friend you just don't get on that dam plane. it's really just that dam simple.

 

The only part I didn't really don't understand was the concert tickets and the daughter. "Capt Steal" yep that's his name in this film. Capt steel's daughter bought concert tickets. you would think to go on a date with her boyfriend, NOPE. She was planing to have a date with her father but she never got on the plane but her boyfriend did instead, WHAT. why was the boyfriend on the plane and not Capt steel's daughter? was the concert in some other town? Fuck this movie makes no sense.

 

This is how you do a rapture type scene the right way from the leftovers.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLT3YUALJno

 

The Rapture scene on the airplane doesn't really work out all that well. it's missing drama, that what the fuck monument of intenseness that people would have in a Rapture like in "The Leftovers" They really got that right. you feel for that woman and her child and start to

. If not you will by the end of that show. This movie you end up feeling nothing because they don't build the characters up to make you care for them.

 

So by the end we have a heartless religious movie that is to be continued. Ohh goodie gumdrops.