In honour of "A Night of Hulkamania", I present, "The Lies of Hulkmania".

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

What's funny now is that the WWE is basically doing stuff that WCW was doing by letting a wrestler be a booker and on-screen talent in Triple H (which never works out for the promotion as the guy usually just bumps up himself and his buddies over those that the fans want to see) and for keeping guys at the top way longer than they should, though it seems they are trying to cycle in a new face of the company. I always enjoy watching the big events for the WWE like the Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania for nostalgia reasons.

 

To be fair though, Triple H is much more instrumental in the running of things and has more to lose if things go completely to shit than the guys in WCW did, who were more concerned with getting themselves over while working as hard as they could to not work at all since they were making crazy money, even after the company went under. I guess one of the biggest problems creatively in WCW was that ALL of the big guys had creative control over their characters, so when they'd work together, nothing ever got done, because no one was willing to make themselves look weak. Kevin Nash was a wrestler/booker, and he was able to walk away from the wreckage and ride out his contract, but Triple H IS a McMahon and will be running the company someday, so it's in his best interests to not let things get too out of hand. I'm not as bothered with him and Steph popping up in the main event picture as I am with them appearing in what seems like EVERY segment as of late, because holy shit, when he's in villain mode, he takes forever to convey something you should be able to say in two minutes. Meanwhile, Undertaker always comes back after nearly a year off, interrupts someone's promo, points at the Wrestlemania sign, it's on, and that's all you need to know. When it comes down to it though, Vince still has the final say, and while Triple H has his ear, I suppose we won't know exactly HOW much of him being shoved down our throats is his idea. I do like though that as of this week, Triple H is more of a stepping stone in the overall Daniel Bryan storyline than the actual big bad itself.

 

Here I am at the Rumble a few weeks back...

[RyanSz 3140]

Yeah I did like the addition of if he loses Daniel Bryan is put into the main event, which works nice for nostalgic fans as it brings back memories of when Bret Hart lost to his brother Owen in the opening match of Wrestlemania X but then went on into the main event and beat Yokozuna for the WWF title. Unfortunately, the seemingly obvious fact that Bryan will walk away champion will be overshadowed by IWC jackholes complaining that it was too obvious, even after months of them complaining about him not being in the title hunt before.

 

What is even a bit funny about this coming WM is for the Hall of Fame ceremony you have Linda McMahon inducting the Ultimate Warrior, as apparently she is the only person in the company that he hasn't pissed off, and that it seems they are saving the announcement of Scott Hall being inducted until the very last announcement even though most people think it is a forgone conclusion he will be in this year.

[RyanSz 3140]

 

How on earth did this place ever fail?

Da fuck are Hulkios?!

[Smigg 1488]

Da fuck are Hulkios?!

 

Well, I have a feeling that they're Spaghetti-o's at a 300% mark up.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

What is even a bit funny about this coming WM is for the Hall of Fame ceremony you have Linda McMahon inducting the Ultimate Warrior, as apparently she is the only person in the company that he hasn't pissed off, and that it seems they are saving the announcement of Scott Hall being inducted until the very last announcement even though most people think it is a forgone conclusion he will be in this year.

I'm working with an indy fed in the Pittsburgh area, and the promoter had recently talked to Sean Waltman (X-Pac) about working a show, and during that conversation he apparently mentioned that Scott might be going in and that he'd be the one inducting him. That could all just be talk, but it makes sense.

[RyanSz 3140]

Yeah apparently Waltman is doing a lot of work with the WWE regarding their new network and their Twitter. Again, just Triple H in the Hogan role of getting jobs for his friends now that he's in more power. The only plus side is that Triple H's buddies could carry a match for the most part, outside of Batista, and were popular in comparison to all the guys Hogan brought to TNA with him including Val Venis, the Nasty Boys, totally out of shape and unable to wrestle versions of Waltman and Scott Hall, and a slew of other ex-WWE/WCW guys.

[Smigg 1488]

Funny thing about The Nasty Boys, HHH has said "As long as I'm here, those guy's aren't coming back here, ever", because of the way they acted when they had a dark match try out to try to get back into WWE.

 

They made their entrance, which takes them about 15 minutes, which fucked up the entire timing of the TV Taping.

 

When they FINALLY got into the ring, they took massive liberties with Drew McIntyre, who (at the time was a 22 year old rookie), to the point where his Tag Team partner (Dave Taylor), tagged himself into the match to protect Drew, and when he got back into the match, Dave told him to stiff them back. So, the match basically turned into a fight. Drew was commended for not whining and bitching about it, and following the instructions of his coach, and actually standing up for himself.

 

So, even though he's in 3MB, and is a jobber right now, Drew's probably got a job for a long time, not only because of that incident, but he also saved Alberto Del Rio when he was jumped a few months ago.

[HipGuide 196]

People realize Hulk Hogan is a character, right?

[RyanSz 3140]

Yeah the Nasty Boys for some reason always had an air of superiority for themselves. And if you want a great laugh and have an hour to kill check out http://taimapedia.org/index.php?title=LOLTNA_History.

[RyanSz 3140]

People realize Hulk Hogan is a character, right?

Yes and the character is somewhat likeable, the real Terry Bollea is not a very nice or honest guy.

[Smigg 1488]

Yeah the Nasty Boys for some reason always had an air of superiority for themselves. And if you want a great laugh and have an hour to kill check out http://taimapedia.or...LOLTNA_History.

 

Read it, almost too many times, it's just amazing, it's like The Room of Pro Wrestling.

[Smigg 1488]

Okay, some more

 

"I actually killed Antonio Inoki in the ring, but they brought him back to life with CPR. I couldn't leave Japan for a while, because the fans and the Japanese Mafia wanted to have me killed because Inoki is so well loved over there!"

 

Inoki wasn't even close to dying. Inoki had to take time off, so they ran an injury angle to write him out of events until he was ready to come back

 

"It was actually my idea for the WWF to start releasing merchandise"

It wasn't

 

"I had this idea about having entrance music, we did it, and was the first guy ever to have his own entrance music"

 

He wasn't

[RyanSz 3140]

I think Inoki is like Minotauro Nogueira where he is legally unkillable.

[Smigg 1488]

When a guy is going to have a fight with Muhammad Ali, and Ali and his camp say "Fuck this, we need some rules in this shit", then you're a bad motherfucker.

[RyanSz 3140]

Thus creating what is considered the first MMA match by many, and also one of the worst.

[Smigg 1488]

Well, MMA was first conceived in the Ancient Olympics with Pankration, that was basically a free for all, where they weren't allowed to poke eyes or bite, everything else was good.

 

Then, in Brazil, you had Vale Tudo and Lutre Livre (obviously, not to be confused with Lucha Libre haha).

 

It's funny though, they actually made the Cro Cop/Takada fight in PRIDE so it would be like Ali/Inoki. Difference being, Inoki FUCKED Ali up, when you hear about what happened to Ali's leg, Ali was messed up.

[RyanSz 3140]

Just imagine if Inoki was able to use his full skillset rather than following a special rule set created when Ali realized Inoki was going to fight him for realsy.

[Smigg 1488]

 

I have no words for this. He actually wrestled in this for a brief period.

[Smigg 1488]

Just imagine if Inoki was able to use his full skillset rather than following a special rule set created when Ali realized Inoki was going to fight him for realsy.

 

Ali would probably still be in a knot to this very day.

[Smigg 1488]

If you want an indication of how long it probably took for these movies to be made, this is what he's like when trying to remember lines

 

 

Which segways nicely into another peach.

 

"I would rewrite all of my movies, but there was a legal thing that means I didn't get any Writing Credits."

 

"The reason why my movies didn't do as well as they should have done is because, in my early 20s, a Hollywood producer came onto me, and I rejected him, I was blackballed ever since."

 

So, the reason such well written, modern classics like "Santa With Muscles" didn't do well isn't because they were TERRIBLE, but because he was blackballed for not accepting the advances of a gay producer.

 

Which makes the video all the more ironic, as he says he was "The right gay, at the right time".

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

If you want an indication of how long it probably took for these movies to be made, this is what he's like when trying to remember lines

 

 

Which segways nicely into another peach.

 

"I would rewrite all of my movies, but there was a legal thing that means I didn't get any Writing Credits."

 

"The reason why my movies didn't do as well as they should have done is because, in my early 20s, a Hollywood producer came onto me, and I rejected him, I was blackballed ever since."

 

So, the reason such well written, modern classics like "Santa With Muscles" didn't do well isn't because they were TERRIBLE, but because he was blackballed for not accepting the advances of a gay producer.

 

Which makes the video all the more ironic, as he says he was "The right gay, at the right time".

The man is 60, his run at the top started 30 years ago this January, and he'd been around for a while before that, including having appeared in Rocky III, so even if this story about turning down the advances of a producer when in his "early 20s" are true, Hogan still had ALL of his success after supposedly being blackballed. Also, if rumors are to be believed, turning down advances from higher-ups could have damaged wrestling careers as well, but I don't know what Patterson's position (heh...) with the company was at the time.

 

Someone in an earlier post asked if we knew that Hulk Hogan was just a character, and I'm not sure that Hogan HIMSELF knows that Hulk Hogan is just a character.

[Smigg 1488]

The man is 60, his run at the top started 30 years ago this January, and he'd been around for a while before that, including having appeared in Rocky III, so even if this story about turning down the advances of a producer when in his "early 20s" are true, Hogan still had ALL of his success after supposedly being blackballed. Also, if rumors are to be believed, turning down advances from higher-ups could have damaged wrestling careers as well, but I don't know what Patterson's position (heh...) with the company was at the time.

 

Someone in an earlier post asked if we knew that Hulk Hogan was just a character, and I'm not sure that Hogan HIMSELF knows that Hulk Hogan is just a character.

 

He made his wrestling debut in 1977, which would put him at 24. He was in Rocky III in 1982, which would put him at 29. Apparently, doing Rocky III caused Vince Sr. to fire Hogan

 

Patterson was the booker around that time. There's an urban legend that Virgil got his job with the WWF by walking into Patterson's office, whipping his dick out, and placing it on Patterson's desk.

 

Virgil, that guy is a character all of his own. Some of the stories that involve that guy make Hogan's lies seem somewhat reasonable.

 

 

And here's where he can be found slinging his goods.

 

[Smigg 1488]

Soeaking of wrestlers opening business...

 

[RyanSz 3140]

I remember seeing that helmet before, no idea why he wore that fucking thing.

[Smigg 1488]

There are two theories floating around. The first being that they thought it was a possible merchandise opportunity, the other being that Hogan's hairline was receding, fast. So they tried that as a way to cover it up.