Godzilla - 2014 (Massive Spoilers)

[Snake 165]

This movie is watchable like Transformers is watchable, except Michael Bay didn't direct it. That is probably the nicest thing I can say about it.

 

Walter White dies 30 min into the movie, yet was the main advertising draw. The son is a bomb expert, which is the only reason he is even in the movie and then never diffuses a bomb. He even has tools and knows how to assemble the thing, yet can't open a half ajar case.

 

The army knew that all electronics would short circut if it got near the monsters, yet they continually send jets and fighter planes after it in close range. They knew about the monsters for like 100 years and studied them non stop too! There was a whole research facility and a secret multi-national research group that just existed to study these things. Not only that, but the monsters had EMP Powers as a defense against......ancient predators like Godzilla? Why does that make sense?

 

The dialogue was atrocious.

 

The bad guy monsters eating a nuclear warhead was absurd and the people cheering for Godzilla at the end was also really silly, but they both sort of worked.

 

Ken Wantanabe says Gozilla only came back to hunt the evil monsters, then Godzilla kills them and doesn't eat them or anything. She just kind of swims away.

 

The whole thing was just ridiculous, although it was pretty.

[seanotron 2307]

It's a goddam Godzilla movie, of course it's ridiculous.

 

It was also glorious.

 

Also Transformers is not in any way watchable.

 

[Wien 401]

Any Godzilla movie that tries to take itself too seriously is going to suck. I'd rather not watch this period.

[RyanSz 3140]

Any Godzilla movie that tries to take itself too seriously is going to suck. I'd rather not watch this period.

It is made in the vein of the first Godzilla, which was a bit more serious and where Godzilla wasn't even shown that much (I believe he was only visible for about 15 minutes in the original). This really doesn't take itself too seriously outside of Cranston's role, and it worked really well in building up a world where these monsters can exist.

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

I dunno, I liked it but I didn't love it... but the only Godzilla movie I love is the original... but then I also just love the IDEA of Godzilla. So I guess I'm just an impossible to please nerd or something?

 

Anyway, the part I most enjoyed was probably when Godzilla breaks open that Muto's jaw, King Kong vs. T-Rex circa 1933-style, and blasted his atomic breath down its throat. Not the most emotionally resonate scene, but still pretty sweet.

[seanotron 2307]

I dunno, I liked it but I didn't love it... but the only Godzilla movie I love is the original... but then I also just love the IDEA of Godzilla. So I guess I'm just an impossible to please nerd or something?

 

Anyway, the part I most enjoyed was probably when Godzilla breaks open that Muto's jaw, King Kong vs. T-Rex circa 1933-style, and blasted his atomic breath down its throat. Not the most emotionally resonate scene, but still pretty sweet.

 

That scene alone was worth the 10 bucks in my book.

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

It did tickle my nerd nerve center and give me giggles of glee better than most comedies.

 

Overall, I had fun and found it worth the ticket price. I've certainly had worse times at the movies... particularly at the Michael Bay atrocities mentioned earlier.

[seanotron 2307]

I found the 2nd Transformers movie so incomprehensible that halfway through it I literally announced, 'I give up!'.

[dlo burns 129]

I found the 2nd Transformers movie so incomprehensible that halfway through it I literally announced, 'I give up!'.

That's because it was actually an art movie deconstructing the nature of narrative itself.

[wyldride 285]

That's because it was actually an art movie deconstructing the nature of narrative itself.

Oh, is that why? I thought it was because it was crap.

[Snake 165]

Ok so stay with me:

 

The dialogue was terrible. Nobody will deny that, even people who liked the movie.

 

The plot was pretty bad - nothing anybody did made any sense, it didn't have the same anti-nuclear weapon message/sentiment as the original, there was no purpose to it other than seeing monsters fight. Does anybody disagree with this?

 

The main actor was terrible. Does anybody disagree with this?

 

The women in the movie were cardboard cutouts that served no purpose than to be a backdrop and occasionally agree with the male characters.

 

The visuals were great!

 

Just to recap: the dialogue was atrocious, the main actor was bad (Shia LeBouf could legitimately act circles around this guy and I don't say that lightly), the portrayal of women probably would have been pretty bad if there were any in it, the plot was terrible, there was point or message to the movie, but the visuals were good and the reasons that people wrote they liked it here consist 100% of "it has big things fighting each other." The big things only really fought for something like 5% of the total screen time, too. How is this not Transformers with a different director?

[seanotron 2307]

How is this not a transformers with a different director?

 

EXHIBIT A

 

EXHIBIT B

 

EXHIBIT C

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

Thanks seanotron, I just vomited in my own mouth after clicking those video links. I should not have done that. They brought back.... terrible things I thought I had forgotten.

[seanotron 2307]

Thanks seanotron, I just vomited in my own mouth after clicking those video links. I should not have done that. They brought back.... terrible things I thought I had forgotten.

 

Believe me, it gave me no pleasure to do it.

[Snake 165]

You know what? I just watched those and I withdraw this whole thread. I almost want to go and watch Godzilla again just to get those out of my head. Jesus

[seanotron 2307]

 

Quick, watch this palette cleansing video

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZs3EADi2pQ

[ElieB 238]

This was the most upsetting theater experience i've had in years. So disappointing in every way. I left the theater feeling ripped off and violated. Then I read all the great reviews of the film and my mind exploded... Did people see a different film? It basically turns into generic, badly written, badly acted, cliche-ridden garbage after 25ish minutes...

 

I mean, i guess they were trying to make a family film??? That's the only way i can reconcile this peace of shit with all the reviews. If I was 6yrs old i might have loved it. But just about any animated disney/pixar kids movie is more enjoyable for adults than this.

[sillstaw 414]

Walter White dies 30 min into the movie, yet was the main advertising draw.

 

Funny, I thought the main advertising draws were "giant freaking lizard" and "guaranteed to be better than the 1998 version."

 

The women in the movie were cardboard cutouts that served no purpose than to be a backdrop and occasionally agree with the male characters.

 

Unlike most other movies nowadays?

[haleymcpunchy 79]

I disagree I loved EVERYTHING about this movie.. you can't go into it expecting anything more than a Godzilla movie

[justinmh05 1968]

I disagree I loved EVERYTHING about this movie.. you can't go into it expecting anything more than a Godzilla movie

 

I agree!

 

I was annoyed by the cutaways throughout most of the movie, but it was clearly a choice that paid off for me when we see the fucking awesome final battle in full. It wouldn't have been as cool if we'd been watching them fight throughout the whole movie.

[Snake 165]

 

Funny, I thought the main advertising draws were "giant freaking lizard" and "guaranteed to be better than the 1998 version."

 

 

No he literally was the main focus of all the trailers and the main reason anybody I know saw it (even people I know that liked it & including various random message boards around the internet I saw about people hyping it). He is the reason I saw it for sure. I'm pretty sure he just signed on because they promised him an assload of money and probably Japanese lessons

[RyanSz 3140]

So then you're complaining that there wasn't enough Cranston in a Godzilla movie? He was the focus of the trailer as a diversion for what people really wanted to see, Godzilla, they never revealed him in full or the other monsters as that mystique was meant to draw people into the theaters, like what Cloverfield did in its buildup. You give people a face they can recognize and the idea of a giant monster and they will come to see more, which they did, but people have put this idea in their head that trailers have to be completely what the movie is a bout and get upset when it isn't that 100%.

 

This movie was exactly what it set out to be, a representation/reboot of early era Godzilla movies. The characters are wooden at times, the plot is there enough to get you to the main points, glimpses of the monsters, and then the final battle. People were coming into this movie expecting the later, super chessy Godzilla movies which had a bit more fighting, but still the same cardboard story and wooden characters.

[duckpunk48@gmail.com 0]

I really enjoyed this movie, I don't think it was a bad experience in the slightest. There could've have been more godzilla, but there's always the sequel