Botched "Expendables 3" Title Art

[jarrycanada 2483]

That poster looks like the Chinese knockoff DVD cover.

 

 

you mean like this....

 

What I found missing from all of these movies are the one liners. When I think of 1980's action movies, for me. it's over the top action scenes with a good one liner in them. Arnold was the master of that. "that hit the spot!" "stick around!" "stay" as the dog gets killed. " I let him go!" we all know them.

 

The best line was in Pumping Iron when he said to Lou Ferrigno, " you don't like this? Lou says no and Arnold says this is what I do when I think about what i am going to do with all of the money I am going to make."

 

Arnold is such a dick in that movie.

[RyanSz 3140]

I forgot about Carano and Rodriguez, but Liu falls under that heading of Cameron Diaz for me in that the Charlie's Angles movies were more comedy spoof than they were action movie. She did have parts in Kill Bill and Man with Iron Fists but they were pretty small. Now that I think about it the only other current name that may work would be Uma Thurman but again that was for only a couple movies.

 

Expendables worked because it was what every guy wanted to see in all of their favorite action stars getting together and having badass fight scenes, and the fact that they can keep adding guys to the mix makes it better, though now they are getting into stretch territory with Banderas and Lutz who have a couple action flicks to their names. It worked because guys who grew up in that era feel there aren't any real action stars today outside of a few choice guys like Statham or Li and because most studios shoot for PG-13 in regards to action in order to get the most money back on their investment. The Expendabelles is facing a HUGE uphill battle for legitimacy which I don't think it will be able to overcome.

[sillstaw 414]

I forgot about Carano and Rodriguez, but Liu falls under that heading of Cameron Diaz for me in that the Charlie's Angles movies were more comedy spoof than they were action movie. She did have parts in Kill Bill and Man with Iron Fists but they were pretty small.

 

Admittedly, I haven't seen many of her movies, but she at least seems like someone who knows how to kick ass. (Although I feel a little racist for assuming that.) Still, if we need someone who actually has some experience in action stuff, the only other name I can even think of is Summer Glau, and I'm just assuming that she's convincing enough as a fighter, since I'm one of the twelve people on the Internet who's never bothered to watch "Firefly."

[jarrycanada 2483]

I am that second person sillkstaw, I've yet to watch firefly and I like Summer Glau.

 

don't forget Zoë Bell she's the real deal kick ass chick.

[seanotron 2307]

Everyone knows if you put Michelle Rodriguez in a movie she has to die in the 3rd act. It's Hollywood Law.

[RyanSz 3140]

Everyone knows if you put Michelle Rodriguez in a movie she has to die in the 3rd act. It's Hollywood Law.

Sort of how like you can't kill LL Cool J?

[IHugKittens 53]

I don't know why I keep watching these but no they weren't fun, neither of the 3. I am sorry, Stop saying they're fun and stop encouraging Sly... I love 80's and 90's action films to death and these Expendables films are just nowhere near. Now if you wanna do a.... I dunno, a homage to old school action, or whatever the fuck these are lose the shaky cam and quick cuts, CGI blood and pale...palette... cha.... whatever it is they do with the colors to make it all grayish, I hate that. They extinguished A WHOLE SPECIES OF BATS in some cave during the shooting of part 2 and for what? So we can barely see some big time action star punch another big time action star in the dark, while everything is shaking and dark and gray and you don't know who's punching who... That's not old school, if you want old school, do it old school. Even the new DTV action films manage to pull off a better old school, the Ninja films with Scott Adkins, the Undisputed sequels, e.t.c... That's how you do 80's action. Sorry but Sly doesn't know what he's doing.... You have all these big time action and martial arts stars, just do a DTV type film, put a little bit of that over the top Machette cheesiness and you're safe. Now sorry about the rant but it just pisses me of what a missed opportunity these films are.

[seanotron 2307]

Sort of how like you can't kill LL Cool J?

 

Ahh yes, the Rodriguez-Cool J Death Spectrum Effect.

[RyanSz 3140]

I swear LL is the reverse Sean Bean. He has only died in one movie (Rollerball) but in nearly every other movie where he could have died, he has survived gigantic odds. He get nearly eaten by a shark in Deep Blue Sea but lives, fell head-first on steel steps in Mindhunters and lived, he was SHOT IN THE HEAD in Halloween H20 and lived, the man is death kryptonite.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

As I was watching "Expendables 3", I couldn't shake the feeling that I KNEW one of the new Expendables, like had met him personally, and then today I all of a sudden remembered that I'd met and talked to Victor Ortiz when I worked for a week on the upcoming Jake Gyllenhaal boxing flick "Southpaw" a couple months back. He was Jake's trainer or corner guy or something, and I'll be seen as a ringside judge during the "Madison Square Garden" (really the Indiana University of Pennsylvania) fights. Anyway, he was a pretty good dude.

[VinsanityV22 500]

I always thought the series was PG-13 anyway. It's such a silly, fun, video gamey romp. You want gore and violence, go watch The Raid: Redemption or The Raid 2... or even the last Rambo movie. Which, to be fair, is still video gamey. In the one scene where Rambo is on the turret, he gets hit with one bullet that grazes his shoulder, he goes down for a bit - you can practically hear Master Chief's shield recharge sound effect kick in - then he gets back up and finishes murdering thousands of extras.

 

That banner is unbelievably crappy. Jeez louise. That is shocking.