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Kickpuncher

Fantastic Four (2005)

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This is on one of the HBO channels right now and I've only seen ~10 minutes in the middle, but holy crap is this bad. Ridiculously over the top, goofy tone, bad acting, bad character designs, just all around garbage. Given its reputation in the bad superhero movie pantheon, I'm surprised there wasn't already a thread for it.

 

Oh, and in the random weird trivia department, here's Kerry Washington as the blind woman who (presumably) falls in love with the Thing.

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This movie is horrible, yet the sequel managed to ramp up the stupidity to even higher levels.

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There actually is a thread for that one already.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure we've talked about it a good bit. These more recent ones are harmless and bland, but that one's pure gold.

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Julian McMahon is last person on earth who should have played Doctor Doom.

 

They should have let Scott Aukerman and Peyton Reed write this movie.

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You mean the fantastic four isn't fantastic!! it doesn't live up to it's name. SHOCKING.

That said, I found the Hulk to be merely Credible.

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This movie is ridiculous, and the effects are so terrible. They go to insane lengths (lol) to NOT show Mr. Fantastic stretching, and for good reason because apparently that little bit of movie magic was beyond the effects crew. The movie takes every opportunity it can to show Jessica Alba nude or near-nude, to the point where it makes no logical sense:

 

- The Thing causes some shit on a bridge, and the rest of the family arrive and want to help.

- Oh no they need to get to Ben but be unseen, so Reed tells Sue to go invisible so she can sneak up there. Midway, as she is stripping off her clothes, she re-appears. Then she disappears again.

- 5 minutes later she meets with Johnny and Reed up ahead -- how the fuck did the two of them get ahead of the crowd? What was the point of her going invisible? It was pointless!

- Also they are touted as heroes of sorts despite causing massive damage to a New York bridge for no good reason.

 

Chris Evans is the only one trying in this movie.

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Bringing this one back up because of the new version out now. The latter one is being more despised than the 2005 version with lower ratings!

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Fellas, I recognize this was a bad movie. But believe me. Fantastic Four 2015 is a far more beautiful disaster. At least in 2005, our heroes actually went outside, were a part of new york city, and existed in a real world. At least it had character arcs and motivations, a consistent comic book tone, etc. 2015 is possibly the worst comic book movie of all time, regardless of director/studio clash. Read my blurb in the F4 2015 suggestion thread.

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