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Episode 66 — Paul F. Tompkins Again, Our Close Friend

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I dated a girl named Lucy Law but then she dumped me and I was Lucy Law-less. Anyway, see ya guys, thanks for listening!

 

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Jude Law is the only Law I wanna get into :)/>

I was just out to dinner and my waiter's name was Jude and one if the men at the table next to me kept calling the waiter over by loudly saying, "Hey Jude."

 

He didn't have a smile on or a sly smirk but I knew what he was doing and it wasn't worth the effort he was putting in.

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I dated a girl named Jennifer Law once.

 

That was back when I had a lisp.

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I was just out to dinner and my waiter's name was Jude and one if the men at the table next to me kept calling the waiter over by loudly saying, "Hey Jude."

 

He didn't have a smile on or a sly smirk but I knew what he was doing and it wasn't worth the effort he was putting in.

 

You don't know that. He might have been coming to that restaurant and hassling Jude with that lame joke every night for YEARS. In which case, it would transform, Family Man-style, into a long-form repetition joke that is actually totally meta and funny. And then when Jude finally poisons him to death, the darkly twisted real punchline would finally play out. I am loving this joke more and more! Totally worth the effort, 10/10 would loff.

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I was just out to dinner and my waiter's name was Jude and one if the men at the table next to me kept calling the waiter over by loudly saying, "Hey Jude."

 

He didn't have a smile on or a sly smirk but I knew what he was doing and it wasn't worth the effort he was putting in.

 

If that was my waiter, and he asked if I would prefer dinner rolls or a side salad with my entree, I'd say, "Hey Jude, don't make it bread.", because I would want the salad, see.

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If that was my waiter, and he asked if I would prefer dinner rolls or a side salad with my entree, I'd say, "Hey Jude, don't make it bread.", because I would want the salad, see.

 

Well I'd do the exact same thing, and also when he was walking away I'd say, "Hey Jude, when you're making my salad, don't make it bad." Because I think that my waiter goes into the back and makes my salad, which is a funny misunderstanding.

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I heard you're a lawyer so I always picture you like Uncle Phil. We did talk about him a lot last night.

 

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did you know tim treese was within 20 miles when uncle phil died??

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My Hawaiian improv group was called, "Those Aren't Coconuts, Those Are My Wife's Tits"

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Well I'd do the exact same thing, and also when he was walking away I'd say, "Hey Jude, when you're making my salad, don't make it bad." Because I think that my waiter goes into the back and makes my salad, which is a funny misunderstanding.

That's great, because comedy is all about surprise.

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my alaskan improv group was caleld 'snow job' but we used a different word for snow every week

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I just watched your hangout and I have some comments:

 

We all NEED to request songs for Andy to sing next time because hearing him sing Run Around might be my favorite part of the whole night.

 

The star of the show overall, however, was Joe McGurl. Very funny, very nice, very mentioned me multiple times, very handsome. And I think he accidentally said "Shayes and Hean" at one point.

 

TakeHomeJoke was lurking in the shadows just like I'd expect from a newbie.

 

OcterDoctopus and Andrew need to be involved next time and Honlads needs to figure his shit out.

 

Can we not call forumers by their real-life human names? It's weird. Bozos isn't James, MBOP isn't Kevin, and Asteck isn't Adam of even A-Steck. He's Asteck. Sorry dude, shoulda capitalized the S.

 

You're all lucky Greggy's voice was shot or you'd all look like second or even third bananas. The few things he was able to rasp out were hilarious.

 

What happened to MatchGame72?

 

Asteck, your kitty is everything.

 

I paid $100 for a microphone + $6 one-day shipping for this son of a bitchin' shindig that I didn't even officially attend.

 

My bf loves Burdrulz. He didn't comment on much of anything, but he was quick to say he thinks he'd get along well with Burdie.

 

Skizelo really, really does sound like Richard Ayoade. I think Skizelo should change his name so that everyone will know he's British. Perhaps Skiz-ellogov?

 

Treese, you played my #TeamTreese song to your mom? That's wonderful news. You're not my favorite of the night, but you were my favorite when I left last night because I felt a strong textual connection with you (I wasn't joking when I started writing "textual connection", but I guess now I am?)

 

Chanson talked shit on people who go to state schools and I'm thinking, alright, if he's not rich then he's like Zach Galifianakis' "pretentious illiterate" character.

 

Perfect pool table timing by Brgrho.

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Chanson talked shit on people who go to state schools and I'm thinking, alright, if he's not rich then he's like Zach Galifianakis' "pretentious illiterate" character.

 

 

...I went to a state school. Unless the University of Washington doesn't qualify. I'm a commoner, too. See?

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then why did you say the bad things about state schools? what a weirdo

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To raise awareness. Is that an acceptable answer?

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I also went to a public high school, too. It was hard but I got through it.

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How come no one has mentioned that Anastasia can fucking turn into a cat?

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hahaha you dont already own a sword?? what a weiner

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The star of the show overall, however, was Joe McGurl. Very funny, very nice, very mentioned me multiple times, very handsome. And I think he accidentally said "Shayes and Hean" at one point.

 

 

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oh and I did say Shayes and Hean because I used to have a speech impediment so sometimes it crops up when I get excited and talk too fast.

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I just listened to the podcast and it might be the best one yet. Paul's Liev Schreiber made me laugh so hard. I probably should've taken notes during the podcast like I did during the podcast forum hangout. I'm sorry, my loves.

 

McGurl, you had a speech impediment? Did I just make fun of it? That reminds me of the time I went on a date with a guy and was being mean to him in a fun way and I told him his thumb was freakishly small, then later realized he had a tiny, disfigured hand. As Liev Schreiber would say, "Oops".

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