Episode 67 — Jes Macallan, Our Close Friend

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

BRRII is such a perv. You don't ask a nice lady if she has a hardwood hoohah.

It's important to know if you should expect rugburn or splinters. Yowza!

 

Edit: I know that everyone has moved on to "Big Italians" jokes about boobs and pizza, but I just thought of this one. I wish we would stick on one topic for longer. #slowburn

[alargebucket 1589]

Mmm. Yes. Rotty Totties agrees.

 

[chanson 9697]

Hollywood Handbook is the best podcast these days.

No one is better at podcast than Sean and Hayes.

Full stop.

Drop the mic.

Oops sorry, right.

 

Poetry.

 

This doesn't help people think that we aren't the same person.

[Mister Smart 462]

Been waiting for the return of the popcorn gallery. Finally.

[alargebucket 1589]

My crowning achievement.

 

 

 

This episode, though... New favorite for sure.

 

[Mister Smart 462]

Oh, also, I loved hearing Sean's thoughts on the movie The Intimidation Game. I haven't heard such an impassioned review of a movie film since the great Roger Ebert passed on, God rest his soul.

[greggy 15909]

Private School is sooooo rapey. Oh bubba.

ok i did it, i watched this movie and i took notes and it was very bad

here are some teasers:

"hair-trigger boners on these dudes"

"bubba beauregard looks like a chubby 80s paul dinello"

"why cant these kids just shoplift their condoms like normal people?"

[xoValeriexo 4369]

Oh god, you guys, I watched it too. It made me so angry. But, hey, that song from Bio Dome is in it so it wasn't all bad!

 

I also listened to the podcast episode and I agree that Veebs was wrong when she said that this guest didn't look that cool based on the photos she saw of her when doing a google image search of her name. She was a good guest and I think the show works really well when the guest is along for the ride rather than trying to operate the ride, knowwhatimean. PS I love you Sean and Hayes and I'm gonna take note of the fanmail address so I hope it's real.

[DEATHMAN 3317]

 

Did you guys see this shirt Sean is wearing? Major WTF? moment for me. First of all

• they don't even make axes in beaver size
  

and second

• a beaver don't need a axe because he has his teeths to cut wood with
  

 

 

[greggy 15909]

i think thats the famous lacroix shirt

[Mister Smart 462]

 

Did you guys see this shirt Sean is wearing? Major WTF? moment for me. First of all

• they don't even make axes in beaver size
  

and second

• a beaver don't need a axe because he has his teeths to cut wood with
  

 

 

 

Okay, first of all, that isn't a beaver-sized axe, it is an axe-sized beaver. You've obviously never been to Canada, as they are pretty common there. I have been to Canada, or, as I like to say, "over the border".

 

Secondly, a beaver actually is needing an axe because if his teeth are being sore from so much chomping of trees.

 

I learned these things from reading science books.

 

P.S. I just realized that I actually just admitted to reading science books, so I guess that the cat's out of the bag; I'm a total nerd! Go easy on me, guys!

 

 

P.P.S:

[Joe McGurl 8358]

I just had a dream where Hollywood Handbook wasn't presented as a podcast but as a class and we were all the students. You all were there (by "you all" I mean everybody that's been in a hangout with me and I know their face and personality) and Hayes and Sean were the teachers. One day, before class started, I approached Sean and Hayes and asked if they wanted to play a game called "watch swap." I then lifted the sleeve of my sweater to reveal three watches on my arm which I promptly unfastened and placed on the desk in front of us. I asked Sean to pick the watch he wanted most and then Hayes picked his favorite which left me with the last, most undesirable watch. The watch I was left with turned into a hamburger sandwich with cheese wrapper from McDonald's and *this* is when the real deceit of "watch swap" began. I swapped my hamburger sandwich wrapper with Sean who then swapped the hamburger sandwich wrapper with Hayes' watch and then Cody rang the buzzer signaling that time was up, leaving Sean and I with very cool watches and Hayes was just left with a hamburger sandwich wrapper.

 

Sean called Hayes a "fuckin dope" and a "friggen goofball" in front of the entire class, which elicited uproarious laughter from the whole room. I then got to co-teach Hollywood Handbook for winning watch swap and everyone agreed that I did very well and was very handsome and funny. We gave Chanson and Tim detention and Burgerho, Veebs and MBoP all got gold stars. Andrew got the pro version -- an autographed picture of Jason David Frank with a Mortdecai-esque moustache -- because he said his famous Shark Tale zinger. After school ended, all of us went into Eric Foreman's basement (I fell asleep watching That 70's Show) and smoked pot. I woke up after that.

 

 

I'm not making any of that up. It was a great dream.

 

(p.s. Honlads was there and he had a coffee mug and that might of been my favorite part)

 

**Edit for Andrew's eyes only**

 

[Mister Smart 462]

I just had a dream where Hollywood Handbook wasn't presented as a podcast but as a class and we were all the students. You all were there (by "you all" I mean everybody that's been in a hangout with me and I know their face and personality) and Hayes and Sean were the teachers. One day, before class started, I approached Sean and Hayes and asked if they wanted to play a game called "watch swap." I then lifted the sleeve of my sweater to reveal three watches on my arm which I promptly unfastened and placed on the desk in front of us. I asked Sean to pick the watch he wanted most and then Hayes picked his favorite which left me with the last, most undesirable watch. The watch I was left with turned into a hamburger sandwich with cheese wrapper from McDonald's and *this* is when the real deceit of "watch swap" began. I swapped my hamburger sandwich wrapper with Sean who then swapped the hamburger sandwich wrapper with Hayes' watch and then Cody rang the buzzer signaling that time was up, leaving Sean and I with very cool watches and Hayes was just left with a hamburger sandwich wrapper.

 

Sean called Hayes a "fuckin dope" and a "friggen goofball" in front of the entire class, which elicited uproarious laughter from the whole room. I then got to co-teach Hollywood Handbook for winning watch swap and everyone agreed that I did very well and was very handsome and funny. We gave Chanson and Tim detention and Burgerho, Veebs and MBoP all got gold stars. Andrew got the pro version -- an autographed picture of Jason David Frank with a Mortdecai-esque moustache -- because he said his famous Shark Tale zinger. After school ended, all of us went into Eric Foreman's basement (I fell asleep watching That 70's Show) and smoked pot. I woke up after that.

 

 

I'm not making any of that up. It was a great dream.

 

(p.s. Honlads was there and he had a coffee mug and that might of been my favorite part)

 

**Edit for Andrew's eyes only**

 

 

Cool story. You should tell it again sometime.

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

I got interrupted, like, a thousand hundred times, but I FINALLY finished listening. Great ep, Jes MacCallahan sounds very attractive! (It sounds to me like she is blonde, but my blonde-dar is pretty unreliable these days.) I learned a lot of good advice about how to succeed in Hollywood, and now the first four pages of forum references make sense to me. Except the ones about The Imitation Gang. They must have talked about that when I wasn't paying attention.

 

Edit: the blonde comment was in reference to how I still refuse to believe that Sean's voice is coming from that brown-headed guy in the photos. That is clearly a blonde guy's voice and I just don't know what to think anymore.

 

Edit part ii: Ignore the previous edit, you don't need me to explain my jokes. Sorry.

[honlads 8798]

[wildly] CLICK ON THE BIG PIZZA

 

lmao

[alargebucket 1589]

i think thats the famous lacroix shirt

And the famous LaCrotch.

[skizelo 2536]

So what are we sending the boys for a letter or package?

[chanson 9697]

Life Update: I bought tires yesterday.

[Joe McGurl 8358]

 

Cool story. You should tell it again sometime.

 

Okay.

[Joe McGurl 8358]

Mister Smart really liked the story about the dream I had last night and asked for me to tell it again, so I'm going to tell it again for him because he liked it so much!

 

I just had a dream where Hollywood Handbook wasn't presented as a podcast but as a class and we were all the students. You all were there (by "you all" I mean everybody that's been in a hangout with me and I know their face and personality) and Hayes and Sean were the teachers. One day, before class started, I approached Sean and Hayes and asked if they wanted to play a game called "watch swap." I then lifted the sleeve of my sweater to reveal three watches on my arm which I promptly unfastened and placed on the desk in front of us. I asked Sean to pick the watch he wanted most and then Hayes picked his favorite which left me with the last, most undesirable watch. The watch I was left with turned into a hamburger sandwich with cheese wrapper from McDonald's and *this* is when the real deceit of "watch swap" began. I swapped my hamburger sandwich wrapper with Sean who then swapped the hamburger sandwich wrapper with Hayes' watch and then Cody rang the buzzer signaling that time was up, leaving Sean and I with very cool watches and Hayes was just left with a hamburger sandwich wrapper.

 

Sean called Hayes a "fuckin dope" and a "friggen goofball" in front of the entire class, which elicited uproarious laughter from the whole room. I then got to co-teach Hollywood Handbook for winning watch swap and everyone agreed that I did very well and was very handsome and funny. We gave Chanson and Tim detention and Burgerho, Veebs and MBoP all got gold stars. Andrew got the pro version -- an autographed picture of Jason David Frank with a Mortdecai-esque moustache -- because he said his famous Shark Tale zinger. After school ended, all of us went into Eric Foreman's basement (I fell asleep watching That 70's Show) and smoked pot. I woke up after that.

 

 

I'm not making any of that up. It was a great dream.

 

(p.s. Honlads was there and he had a coffee mug and that might of been my favorite part)

 

**Edit for Andrew's eyes only**

 

 

 

***Edit for Mister Smart's eyes only***

 

[greggy 15909]

i gotta hear this thing one more time joe

[Andrew 4646]

Back when Earwolf was in a previous studio they were pretty cagey about the actual location; they only had a PO box address, and Scott shut down a few guests who were going to give out too much info. So I worked out the address from clues in the podcasts and photos. Specifically, the CBB references to being on the first floor, near the Pantages theatre and the Scientology place, and a picture of the sunset from the studio with a bell tower in it.

 

So I went in to Google Earth and found the general location, turned on 3D buildings, and flew the camera around to find the angle the photo came from. Then a few weeks later Howard Kremer tweeted the actual address to someone who wanted to send in something, and I had got it right!

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it would have saved me a lot of work if the hosts just read out the address on air.

[Joe McGurl 8358]

This one goes out to my boy Greggy Greggz!

 

Mister Smart really liked the story about the dream I had last night and asked for me to tell it again, so I'm going to tell it again for him because he liked it so much!

 

I just had a dream where Hollywood Handbook wasn't presented as a podcast but as a class and we were all the students. You all were there (by "you all" I mean everybody that's been in a hangout with me and I know their face and personality) and Hayes and Sean were the teachers. One day, before class started, I approached Sean and Hayes and asked if they wanted to play a game called "watch swap." I then lifted the sleeve of my sweater to reveal three watches on my arm which I promptly unfastened and placed on the desk in front of us. I asked Sean to pick the watch he wanted most and then Hayes picked his favorite which left me with the last, most undesirable watch. The watch I was left with turned into a hamburger sandwich with cheese wrapper from McDonald's and *this* is when the real deceit of "watch swap" began. I swapped my hamburger sandwich wrapper with Sean who then swapped the hamburger sandwich wrapper with Hayes' watch and then Cody rang the buzzer signaling that time was up, leaving Sean and I with very cool watches and Hayes was just left with a hamburger sandwich wrapper.

 

Sean called Hayes a "fuckin dope" and a "friggen goofball" in front of the entire class, which elicited uproarious laughter from the whole room. I then got to co-teach Hollywood Handbook for winning watch swap and everyone agreed that I did very well and was very handsome and funny. We gave Chanson and Tim detention and Burgerho, Veebs and MBoP all got gold stars. Andrew got the pro version -- an autographed picture of Jason David Frank with a Mortdecai-esque moustache -- because he said his famous Shark Tale zinger. After school ended, all of us went into Eric Foreman's basement (I fell asleep watching That 70's Show) and smoked pot. I woke up after that.

 

 

I'm not making any of that up. It was a great dream.

 

(p.s. Honlads was there and he had a coffee mug and that might of been my favorite part)

 

**Edit for Andrew's eyes only**

 

***Edit for Mister Smart's eyes only***

 

****Edit for Greggy's eyes only****

[greggy 15909]

thanks buddy, that really hit the spot

[OcterDoctopus 1079]

So I went in to Google Earth and found the general location, turned on 3D buildings, and flew the camera around to find the angle the photo came from. Then a few weeks later Howard Kremer tweeted the actual address to someone who wanted to send in something, and I had got it right!

You should check this out if you really want to take it to the next creeper level

http://blog.ioactive.com/2014/05/glass-reflections-in-pictures-osint.html