Jump to content
🔒 The Earwolf Forums are closed Read more... ×
JulyDiaz

Episode 67 — Jes Macallan, Our Close Friend

Recommended Posts

Mr. Schmidt from The News Girl is going to be on the show tomorrow. All the Popcorn Gallery questions will be answered.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post

Mr Schmidt, you recently retweeted: "My favorite part of The Imitation Game was when all the nerds said, 'Bazinga!'" Who exactly were you taking a swipe at with that?

Share this post


Link to post

Mr. Schmidt, the TV show you're on is called New Girl, but it's been on the air for 4 seasons now. Are there any plans to rename the show something more appropriate/less misleading, such as, The Girl Who Has Been Around for a While?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

I think you are joking wif us, but just in case...

 

Dear Mr. Schmidt,

Only one of the following names is fake, can you guess which one it is? The choices are Imogen Gay Poots, Joey Fatone, and Dick Butkus.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

Dear Mr. Schmidt:

On Horatio Sanz' podcast, Chris Kattan talked a LOT about dating/boofing Zoey Day-Channel. On a scale of 1-10, how would you rank the grossness of that using your famous Hanky Panky Stank Ranking?

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

Funny, Sean didn't mention that I looked really handsome... Maybe he forgot?

 

I shook his hand but I was really nervous meeting him. I did make full eye contact during the handshake (because I'm not a GD farmer and I know how to shake a hand) but I don't recall whether his was impressive or not. He's taller than I expected.

 

I also don't remember his smell. He was rolling around on a floor shouting so he probably didn't smell great but I didn't notice.

 

One of the bros asked him how long he was in town. I got nervous because I was worried the bro was going to ask Sean to hang out, and I get empathetically nervous when people are too forward (plus if he's hanging out with any fans after the show it'd better be The Three Amigos, which is the nickname I just made up for the best friends group of me, Veebs, and Veegs. Joe is a member but unfortunately the name says "Three". This is a misnomer). Sean said he was heading back in the morning or whatever so the bro went away.

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post

Gonna post that post again but properly capitalize:

 

Funny, Sean didn't mention that I looked really handsome... Maybe He forgot?

 

I shook His hand but I was really nervous meeting Him. I did make full eye contact during the handshake (because I'm not a GD farmer and I know how to shake a hand) but I don't recall whether His was impressive or not. He's taller than I expected.

 

I also don't remember His smell. He was rolling around on a floor shouting so He probably didn't smell great but I didn't notice.

 

One of the bros asked Him how long he was in town. I got nervous because I was worried the bro was going to ask Sean to hang out, and I get empathetically nervous when people are too forward (plus if He's hanging out with any fans after the show it'd better be The Three Amigos, which is the nickname I just made up for the best friends group of me, Veebs, and Veegs. Joe is a member but unfortunately the name says "Three". This is a misnomer). Sean said He was heading back in the morning or whatever so the bro went away.

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post

(plus if He's hanging out with any fans after the show it'd better be The Three Amigos, which is the nickname I just made up for the best friends group of me, Veebs, and Veegs. Joe is a member but unfortunately the name says "Three". This is a misnomer).

 

Much like the Three Musketeers, there are four Three Amigos. Joe is our d'Artagnan.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post

How is the West Coast enjoying the blizzard that the East Coast is getting right now? I can tell you that it's real great and you all should be super jealous!

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post

Excited about the new ep tomorrow, bit worried about the lack of PG consultation but fingers crossed they can still do a funny show.

 

Has anyone else watched Project Improviser? I'm halfway through. It's pretty good but I don't think I've learned anything about improv other than Mantzoukas is straight up dashing when clean-shaven.

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post

Gang, your horrible peer pressure has worked: I'm on facebook now. Find me and shower me with your friend requests.

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post

I just got a friend request from Mark Fox. My initial thought was "Who the fuck is Mark Fox!!!!" But then I saw the profile photo of Ross smiling and I thought, "Oh, it's Spunky."

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post

Don't accept it! You're being catfished! Ross gets online and impersonates me while I'm at work!

 

Edit: Dogfished?

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post

As long as Ross looks anything like his photo in real life, I don't mind being dogfished by him.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

He is extremely good-looking. That part is real. Pretty much everything else about his online persona is fake. He was never the most decorated US sniper in the Middle East, he never murdered some looters after Hurricane Katrina, and he never punched out Jesse Ventura. Also, he was never portrayed by Bradley Cooper in a recent Clint Eastwood film.

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post

Friend request accepted! Can't wait to get a closer look at that winking pirate cat

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post

winking pirate cat

 

This should be a euphemism, right?

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post

 

This should be a euphemism, right?

So instead of saying "euphemism," we should say "winking pirate cat?" I like it.

 

Me: Hey, check out the badingle-dongles on THAT guy!

 

My acquaintance: Badingle-dongles?

 

Me: It's a winking pirate cat for testicles.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post

Ahh your meet up looked great! One question: afterward did you replay everything you said and fret over whether you came off as a huge weirdo? That's what I did...

 

Guys! I saw Corey Feldman at starbucks today. He looked like the vampire version of himself from Bordello of Blood, but thinner and wearing more Chris Angel attire. I thought about telling him how much I loved Goonies, but he was burying his face behind this giant phone. Then I remembered how terrible he seemed on that reality show, so I thought about telling him how much I liked License to Drive (as a goof). Then I realized that he hadn't said anything the entire time he'd had the phone up to his face and that there probably wasn't anybody on the other line. Then I thought about him believing that unless he appeared totally busy and occupied everybody in the place would want to hassled him, so I just took my coffee and left. def some life changing stuff.

  • Like 10

Share this post


Link to post

Looking for the Totally Laime message board if someone could point me in the right direction.

 

Just kidding, I was having a loff.

 

Excellent post that was ignored because this shit-for-brains posted it as the last comment on a page. Sheesh.

 

I'm determined to do the next hangout. I feel like everyone here is bros now and knows what each other's voices sound like and here I am just reading dumb ol' words like a caveman.

 

Jahoo, I can't wait.

 

He took my hand, tickled my palm with his middle finger, swung our hands side to side, then did the fresh prince/jazzy Jeff slap, snap and pshhh.

 

This is my favorite thing you've ever said and this is coming from someone who loves everything you say.

 

Guys! I saw Corey Feldman at starbucks today. He looked like the vampire version of himself from Bordello of Blood, but thinner and wearing more Chris Angel attire.

 

Are you sure it wasn't Skrillex?

 

Hey guys, I just remembered something Sean said when we were hanging out like old friends. When we all collectively decided to take a photo together (I think it was Sean's idea??), he leaned down to set his water on the ground and I told him it looked like he was going to sit down for the photo. He said that recently he stuck up on some people taking a photo and posed in front of them to be a silly goose, but no one thought it was funny. Sean is adorable! Not as adorable as Tim (thanks for pointing that out, Bozos), but adorbz nonetheless.

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Here on the East Coast we call it The Blizz

Just thought of a follow up joke:

The official website for The Blizz is The Blizz.Biz

...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

..

Yup.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post

hey guys I haven't posted on here in a while. Just silently watching. But I'm still here don't worry, just waiting for the perfect opportunity then i'll strike with a SICK joke or goof!

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post

Thanks, Veebs. I love you.

 

And yes, Sean was adorable. He was chewing on a toothpick like a cool guy but then said stuff like "What's new with you guys?"

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post

×