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EPISODE 107 — Lake Placid: LIVE!

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CORRECTIONS AND OMISSIONS:

Actually I'm not sure if this counts as a correction or omission, since it does not relate directly to the film. But it does relate to the lengthy conversation about REESES PIECES.

 

As amused as I was by Jason's adamance about the correct pronunciation of Reese's Pieces, despite it clearly being incorrect--I was even more amused when I was watching SNL on Saturday and heard Kate McKinnon say it using Jason's pronunciation. Here is a soundbite of her saying it in the sketch "Smart Home"

reeses pieces.wav

I just thought you needed to hear it.

Jer

 

Yeah, that gave me a good chuckle when I saw it too. I pictured Jason watching it and jumping up off his couch and yelling "FUCK YOU, DUM-DUMS!"

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Correction/omission

Not naming the lake Lake Placid because there already is one is ridiculous. In Minnesota alone, many lakes share names. There isn't a law or rule dictating the naming of lakes.

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Jer68, on 06 April 2015 - 11:32 AM, said: CORRECTIONS AND OMISSIONS:

Actually I'm not sure if this counts as a correction or omission, since it does not relate directly to the film. But it does relate to the lengthy conversation about REESES PIECES.

 

Me and my sister after seeing the movie ET, we started calling Reese's Pieces, Reese's faeces,

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I will always miss June when she can't host, but more so when they play the remixed theme song. (which is seriously great)

For some reason, when the remix mentions Streetfighter, I can vividly remember June asking "What is a streetfighter?" in utter confusion, then I laugh, then I get sad because she isn't there for this episode.

 

No better substitute host than PFT though, I loved the fury the burst out of him when he heard about David E Kelly's script writing process.

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I am almost 99% sure that the Gleeson sarcastic lines were not legal-pad-transcription-stage-direction errors, but were honest-to-God intended to be read as written. In addition to David E Kelley's standard characters, he loves writing in verbal tics that sound fucking stupid (see "Denny Crane!," the judge who called everyone a toad in "Chicago Hope," everything ever said on "Ally McBeal").

I cannot work out if Kelley has ever actually spoken to another real human in his entire life. No matter which series (or terrible film) you watch, you can tell that you are listening to a Kelley character. They do not speak like any person in the history of the world. He really does write for a "character", he is unable to write for a person.

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One other thought, Bridget Fonda's character was hilariously inconsistent. Her entire attitude is "I shouldn't be here, there's nothing I can do to help", but the second someone points that out she gets so defensive about it.

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Loved this one...was laughing straight through it.

 

I did think of an Omission:

 

Lost in the deliriously wonderful feminine napkin go around was the fact that Bridget Fonda's character is a Paleontologist--a job that is characterized by a large amount of fieldwork, the bulk of which is conducted outdoors. One assumes camping would be a natural part of such a line of work and yet she's totally and overly perplexed at the thought of tenting.

 

I mean, we know from Jurassic Park that when out doing fieldwork, at best, she can expect a trailer. (If she's being sponsored by a multi-billionaire, that is.)

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Just an FYI on Bridget Fonda. There was talk about where she might be and while it's easy to say she was just embarrassed about being in Lake Placid and decided to go into hiding, she was actually in a horrible car accident in 2003 and hasn't acted since.

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Loved this one...was laughing straight through it.

 

I did think of an Omission:

 

Lost in the deliriously wonderful feminine napkin go around was the fact that Bridget Fonda's character is a Paleontologist--a job that is characterized by a large amount of fieldwork, the bulk of which is conducted outdoors. One assumes camping would be a natural part of such a line of work and yet she's totally and overly perplexed at the thought of tenting.

 

I mean, we know from Jurassic Park that when out doing fieldwork, at best, she can expect a trailer. (If she's being sponsored by a multi-billionaire, that is.)

I have a feeling she studied paleontology at the same school Samantha Mathis went to before she started an archaeological dig under the Brooklyn Bridge while wearing safari clothes in Super Mario Bros.

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Correction/omission

Not naming the lake Lake Placid because there already is one is ridiculous. In Minnesota alone, many lakes share names. There isn't a law or rule dictating the naming of lakes.

 

Okay, but...

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I wish Hollywood will make "monster wearing human suit with a zipper on the back" a regular twist trope. So the future generation, when they are watching movies, they will say: "I bet the twist is one of the characters is actually a monster wearing a human suit with a zipper on the back."

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Loved this one...was laughing straight through it.

 

I did think of an Omission:

 

Lost in the deliriously wonderful feminine napkin go around was the fact that Bridget Fonda's character is a Paleontologist--a job that is characterized by a large amount of fieldwork, the bulk of which is conducted outdoors. One assumes camping would be a natural part of such a line of work and yet she's totally and overly perplexed at the thought of tenting.

 

I mean, we know from Jurassic Park that when out doing fieldwork, at best, she can expect a trailer. (If she's being sponsored by a multi-billionaire, that is.)

 

Yes, but let's assume she is more of the lab coat, museum working variety of Paleontologist (e.g. Ross from Friends), there is absolutely no reason she should have to camp out with everyone if she really doesn't want to. A lot of this was covered in the episode, but here are the facts:

  • She's been sent to Maine to identify a mysterious tooth. Which she does with aplomb. Job completed. (Why the museum is involved and why they didn't send an Herpetologist instead, I guess we'll never know. I suppose they thought there was a greater likelihood of a living, breathing dinosaur just swimming around in Maine then for it to be a creature that currently exists and they just had to get a Paleontologist down there tout suite.)
  • She tells Pullman her whole back story, which really isn't any of his business, but does so to explain why she hasn't left yet. She later changes her story and says the real reason she is there is that she just wants to be "a part of something."

Okay, so we have a nature hating scientist who has completed her job, but doesn't want to go home because either she doesn't want to face her cheating boyfriend, she wants to be a part of something, or a combination of both. Yet none of these are adequate reasons for her to camp out with them if she hates it that much! This lake is 25 miles away! In other words, far enough away to keep the crocodile from being a threat to the general population but close enough that she could stay at a nice B&B and just meet up with them in the morning. What would that be, like a 30 minute drive?

 

 

It's not like they are hunting it at night either...until the end that is. You know when the lake, which has been heretofore insanely silty, is suddenly as bright and clear as the Caribbean Sea.

 

"Who cares?" indeed. This movie is dumb.

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Yes, but let's assume she is more of the lab coat, museum working variety of Paleontologist (e.g. Ross from Friends), there is absolutely no reason she should have to camp out with everyone if she really doesn't want to. A lot of this was covered in the episode, but here are the facts:

  • She's been sent to Maine to identify a mysterious tooth. Which she does with aplomb. Job completed. (Why the museum is involved and why they didn't send an Herpetologist instead, I guess we'll never know. I suppose they thought there was a greater likelihood of a living, breathing dinosaur just swimming around in Maine then for it to be a creature that currently exists and they just had to get a Paleontologist down there tout suite.)
  • She tells Pullman her whole back story, which really isn't any of his business, but does so to explain why she hasn't left yet. She later changes her story and says the real reason she is there is that she just wants to be "a part of something."

Okay, so we have a nature hating scientist who has completed her job, but doesn't want to go home because either she doesn't want to face her cheating boyfriend, she wants to be a part of something, or a combination of both. Yet none of these are adequate reasons for her to camp out with them if she hates it that much! This lake is 25 miles away! In other words, far enough away to keep the crocodile from being a threat to the general population but close enough that she could stay at a nice B&B and just meet up with them in the morning. What would that be, like a 30 minute drive?

 

 

 

It's not like they are hunting it at night either...until the end that is. You know when the lake, which has been heretofore insanely silty, is suddenly as bright and clear as the Caribbean Sea.

 

"Who cares?" indeed. This movie is dumb.

 

I get you. I've not seen Friends, however I understand that the Paleontologist job description does include a large amount of indoor work. I still think any Paleontologist looking to stay employed would probably need to ditch their personal "no tenting" ordinance.

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I get you. I've not seen Friends, however I understand that the Paleontologist job description does include a large amount of indoor work. I still think any Paleontologist looking to stay employed would probably need to ditch their personal "no tenting" ordinance.

 

Oh! I agree with you. Yes, it's incredibly stupid for her to choose a career that will most likely require at least some field work if she doesn't like to camp.

 

My point, as it applies to the specific situation in the movie and regardless of whether or not it is necessary for her to do her day-to-day job, is that it is doubly stupid for her to stay with them over night if camping is something she doesn't really like to do. No one is asking for her expertise, nor do they particularly want her there. Everyone in the film actively despises her! She's just sort of...tagging along. If anything, her presence is nothing but an encumbrance for the rest of the cast in actually succeeding in capturing/killing this monster. Her motivation for sticking around is completely self-serving. You're not ready to go home and you want to see how this all pans out? Fine, I get that. But, since you're not really needed here, perhaps instead of bitching about camping, accusing rural Mainers of being potential rapists, and just making an overall insufferable, whiny nuisance of yourself, maybe you should just go ahead and check yourself into a hotel and catch up with us in the morning.

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Just an FYI on Bridget Fonda. There was talk about where she might be and while it's easy to say she was just embarrassed about being in Lake Placid and decided to go into hiding, she was actually in a horrible car accident in 2003 and hasn't acted since.

 

I think her retirement from acting had more to do with having a kid than that accident, though. She appears at events with Danny Elfman all the time.

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I was expecting someone to come up with the alternate title: Crocodile Off Their Rockers

 

Off Their Crockers

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just fyi if it hasn't been mentioned, Lake Placid vs

anaconda airs next Saturday on SyFy.

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Jeff Goldblume unthinkable as a rapey character?

 

Have we so quickly forgotten one of his earliest roles as the rapist thug from Death Wish?

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I wish they made a sequel like this:

 

Lake Placid: A Play in 3 Acts

 

Synopsis:

 

Based on the popular 1999 movie, Lake Placid: A Play in 3 Acts is a fresh, modern take on the Frankenstein tale that re-tells the original story of Lake Placid from the perspectives of the two giant crocodile twins.

 

After their parents was killed by a mad woman who mistook them as vengeful sharks near the Bahama, two orphan crocodiles had no way to go and ended up hitching a ride on the fishing boat of the foul-mouthed Mr. Bickerman to Maine and eventually were adopted by him and his wife. The childless couple named the two brothers “New York” and “Maine,” and treated them like their own sons.

 

Sadly, the happy life didn’t last. Although New York and Maine were raised by humans, the wild instinct of the crocodile still flowed in the two brothers’ veins, and could not be suppressed, no matter how hard they tried. Eventually it erupted, resulting in a tragic freak accident that took away their foster father’s life. From then onwards, it became even harder for the twin to suppress the nature of the crocodiles.

 

A few years after the accident, the older one of the two brothers, New York succumbed to the darkness lying underneath his scale and killed a Fish and Game officer. This time, the death didn’t come unnoticed and attracted the attention of the town sheriff, a psychotic crocodile enthusiast millionaire, another Fish and Game officer, all of whom were deeply misogynistic and had absolutely no idea how a tampon worked, as well as an irritating, nature-hating female paleontologist.

 

Throughout the play, the younger and the gentler twin, Maine tried hard to convince his impulsive and cynical brother, New York, that crocodiles and human could co-exist peacefully, and stopped him from further sinking into a thirst for revenge and the thirst for blood, while at the same time, trying to suppress his own dark side. In an ironic twist of fate, however, it was Maine who, by saving the humans from a bear, exposed their existence. In the climax of the play, Maine, in an effort to prevent his brother to eat the humans, was killed by very people he tried to save.

 

Lake Placid: A Play in 3 Acts is a powerful story about human-nature relationship, the human condition, the crocodile condition, and gender equality, a stage production filled with spectacular special effects and stunts created by the team that brought you the Broadway play “Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark.” A must-see for people who like plays and/or crocodile stuff.

 

Cast:

 

(because the story is told from the crocodiles' point of view, the actors who played New York and Maine wear green costumes, face-paint, and crocodile head costume hats, while those who played the human characters wear papier-mâché masks of bloated faces and fat-suits, symbolizing their grotesque inner nature)

 

New York

Maine

Mr. Bickerman

Mrs. Bickerman

Fish and Game officer victim

Stone-faced Fish and Game officer

The town sheriff

The female paleontologist

The crocodile enthusiast millionaire

The bear

The underwater bear

Cow A

Cow B

David E. Kelley

 

Quotes from the play:

 

“Everyone is a comedian, sarcastic.”

“But they killed our parents, rage.”

“…deep inside, we’re all the same, optimistic.”

“Do you hear that? That’s the sound of cow legs!”

“I think you are a mental.”

“Oh God. We forgot to pack feminine napkins.”

“Alright, fuck wart! You piece of shits!”

“Legal pad”

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just fyi if it hasn't been mentioned, Lake Placid vs

anaconda airs next Saturday on SyFy.

 

oops...April 25

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You know, I didn't watch a lot of episodes of Ally Mcbeal, but I never saw her, in any of the episodes I watched, doing a closing argument. She did sometimes cross examine the witness, but most of the time, it's the Peter MacNicol character who did the closing argument. And the scene when the character does the closing argument, I think we can more or less agree on this, tends to be one of the most important scenes in a legal drama.

Did she ever do any closing argument AT ALL?!

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