Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2

[OsteoCast 4]

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 currently has a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes.

 

The reviews are in!

 

"The humor level in the film is so moribund that it doesn’t even inspire groans or eye-rolling; instead, it figuratively puts its hands on your shoulders and pushes you deeper into your theater seat until you’ve been completely subdued by all the nothingness it has to offer. Cinematically speaking, it’s like having a riot squad beanbag shot directly at your solar plexus."

 

"What would a film be like if every single person involved made as little effort as humanly possible?"

 

"The cinematic equivalent of biting into an old brown banana."

 

"There was a point where I was considering writing a will because this film made me want to leave this Earth."

[RyanSz 3140]

I figured this would get lambasted by critics but not THAT bad, Jesus.

[seanotron 2307]

The critical consensus quote for this is amazing:

 

"Bathed in flop sweat and bereft of purpose, Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 strings together fat-shaming humor and Segway sight gags with uniformly unfunny results"

[dlo burns 129]

But we can atleast enjoy the memes, right?

 

 

 

 

[justinmh05 1968]

The very definition of low hanging fruit.

[OsteoCast 4]

The very definition of low hanging fruit.

 

But I actually want to know how it got made and there are probably a few people willing to interview about it. It has already made a profit, plus it's the first movie to get subsidized by a Nevada film tax incentive so taxpayers actually partially funded this movie. It's like if Love Guru had ulterior financial motives.

[OsteoCast 4]

But we can atleast enjoy the memes, right?

 

Yes

 

[sillstaw 414]

I think the best burn was the opening of the Variety review: "Nothing aired by WikiLeaks could possibly be more destructive to Sony’s reputation than the release of 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2.'"

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

 

But I actually want to know how it got made and there are probably a few people willing to interview about it. It has already made a profit, plus it's the first movie to get subsidized by a Nevada film tax incentive so taxpayers actually partially funded this movie. It's like if Love Guru had ulterior financial motives.

The first one made a boatload of cash and the Happy Madison crew is ALL about paid vacations, that's about the only "How" to it.

[jarrycanada 2483]

Do you guys remember when the segway was going to be this big life changing device that was going to revolutionize the world, Boy that sure never happened.

 

was one teensy-weensy little problem with all of that, same problem the Iwatch has. Batterys.

 

Just was thinking about that looking at all the pictures of segways here.

[dlo burns 129]

was one teensy-weensy little problem with all of that, same problem the Iwatch has. Batterys.

 

Well that and it's on the same dorky level as a tandem bike.

[DaraCrawley 18]

Paul Blart: Mall Blart: The Quickening Part 2

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

If this movie were to be the subject of a podcast, it would probably be the most unpleasant HDTGM viewing experience since at least Nothing But Trouble. I'm not sure if that means it NEEDS to be covered or should NEVER be covered.

[DeathToMikeyBay 130]

The tagline should just be: "Why?"

 

I can't think of a "comedian" with as much of an absolute zero comedic presence as Kevin James. He just blandly goes through the motions in every movie: Hitch, Zookeeper, Grownups, Barnyard, Grownups 2.

 

Adam Sandler turned into a lazy, rote cashgrab of soullessness. Kevin James started there.

[seanotron 2307]

I feel like this movie will just make everyone sad.

[jarrycanada 2483]

you guys don't seriously want us to have to watch this shit do yeah?

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

I feel like I've seen this without actually seeing this.

[jarrycanada 2483]

I feel like I've seen it too, after watching the red letter media review.

 

Forward 14min mark

[MackMorris 0]

with a rotten tomatoes rating of 6% i feel this movie would be great for the show

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

with a rotten tomatoes rating of 6% i feel this movie would be great for the show

It's probably just terrible in a completely uninteresting way that isn't worth getting into for an hour.

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

I feel like if we at all contribute to this movie making one more dollar, we've done the entire human race an incredible disservice.

[Maximilian 99]

For crying out loud, this would be a horrible movie to do because the majority of the episode would be bitching about having to watch it. By majority I mean a good 90% or more.

 

My Christian name being Paul, this movie is terribly offensive to me and all the other Pauls of the world. The movie has tarnished my image and caused me irreparable harm.

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

For crying out loud, this would be a horrible movie to do because the majority of the episode would be bitching about having to watch it. By majority I mean a good 90% or more.

 

My Christian name being Paul, this movie is terribly offensive to me and all the other Pauls of the world. The movie has tarnished my image and caused me irreparable harm.

 

 

Are you also a mall cop?

[Maximilian 99]

 

 

Are you also a mall cop?

No but I am a segway enthusiast.