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Joe McGurl

Survivor Season 31 - Second Chance discussion thread

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Me ? No way. I'm no challenge beast, no need to target me. We can all go to final 3 together. I swear on my kids lives I will never write any of your names down. You mind holding my Immunity Idol for me while I chow down on this tasty bagels reward ? Thanks.

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have you guys ever had a better meal than a nice doughy bagel?

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im going to say wentworth this week because obviously a ton of people wanted her out last week so if she doesnt scramble shes dead meat, and also because im bad at guessing

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I think Joe is going to win immunity again and will continue to do so for every challenge for the rest of the season. Wentworth is going to get Joe on her side. They'll try to vote Fish out, but Wentworth will end up going home.

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Just when you least expect it - SHE'S BACK !!


This week Abi gets wet in the rain after midnight and then muddy and pissed off and Oh, Hello the Abidook is back baby.


This time she pushes the core alliance too far, taking the target off Wentworth/Ciera.


See you in Ponderosa, Abi. At least you made the jury !



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This week in a stunning turn of events, Jeff Probst goes home leaving the game in chaos. A struggle breaks out between Joe and Jeremy to become the new Survivor host when suddenly, Fishbach is impaled through the chest with one of the cast members torches. He falls to the ground on his knees in front of a stunned Joe. Joe sees, who else, but Abi holding the torch and skewering the limp nerd. "Look you guys. I finally caught a Fish." She laughs maniacally and kicks Fishbach's lifeless body into the Tribal Council fire pit. Everyone has looks of shock and fear on their faces except for Wigglesworth who may be asleep, no one really knows or cares to check. Kass and Savage start FUCKING on the jury bench. Spencer's skin falls off and is revealed to indeed be a robot. Jeremy takes Joe and Wentworth by the hand and the three of them run away as Abi and CIera begin chanting a spell to sink the island. Richard Hatch flies in on a helicopter to take Jeremy, Joe, Wentworth and Tasha to safety. Everyone else dies.


Crazy but that's why we love this game called Survivor


(but really my prediction is Fishy goes home this week)

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^^ Worth playing for?

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ok i know this is your choice joe but you probably dont feel like you can do this for yourself but its all yours bro, you earned it

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I always dreamed of this day coming and to be given this prestigious award by the big clown himself...wow. What a day.

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I just hope Abbi wins the whole damn thing. This season has been so amazing. All real people. No vapid idiots. Everyone here to play. Hitting it on all 8 cylinders!


I am so freaking pumped!

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Solid ep. Started off kind of boring but really picked up some serious steam after the reward challenge. Lots of exciting stuff. My boy Jeremy picks up another idol and Queen Bae Wentworth survives another week. I've almost completely come around on Abi. After being overloaded with her annoyance in the beginning, she's mellowed out and is kind of fun and likable. I don't think it will be a COMPLETE disaster if she stays around to the end anymore. Anyway, not a lot of notes this week so let's get to em:

  • Congrats to English major and lit nerd Stephen Fishbach for misquoting one of the most famous lines Shakespeare ever wrote

  • Lol at Abi running across the beach

  • Abi ending Joe's search for the idol by claiming she has to take a dump is pretty amazing in the most Abi way possible. Bless that little Brazilian dragon.

  • Wigglesworth picked the worst team ever for this reward. They are getting SMOKED

  • Probst as Fishbach's team is stomping the other team: "FISHBACH LETS GO THIS IS WHY YOU'RE HERE COME ON." Even Probst likes to pick on that dweeb

  • I guess Wigglesworth talks to everyone and is a huge threat to win this game. Could've fooled me. This bird got more screentime than Wigglesworth.
  • 9wTs5zE.jpg

  • Jeremy: Hey, I have to go poop and definitely not going to get an idol. bye
  • Camera Man: Hey I'll come follow you and film you pooping. This is normal

  • Stephen and Spencer didn't even want the advantage, they're just both the biggest survivor nerds ever and at least had to know what it was

  • This week in Probst Innuendos
    • Wigglesworth can't get it up!

  • This week in Joe Mcgurl is an objectifying monster
    • Kelley Wentworth is really hot. She has a really nice body that I like looking at.

  • "My butt is cramping!"
  • Poor Abi. Undone by her beautiful Brazilian butt.

  • Who would've ever thought that Abi would give Joe a run for his money at immunity

  • Props to Joe. There is nothing that Joe cannot do.

  • tumblr_ny1qmnRAHZ1rhxkhho3_500.gif
  • Look at him. He's like a dripping wet Survivor God.

  • Woah that's a pretty huge advantage. Stealing someone's vote. Can't wait to see that

  • Savage walking into tribal with his cool guy beanie and doing the "rock on" sign:
  • fellow_kids_steve_buscemi1.gif

  • #LovinTheCoven
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  • This rain be crazy

  • "there's only room for one Kelley on this island." YASSS KWEEN KELLEY SLAYYYYYY

  • It's weird that tonight's tribal council had people voting but Jeff just read empty pieces of parchment and then a torch floated over to him and he snuffed it. Almost like there was an invisible person in this game

  • Farewell, Wiggles. We truly hardly knew you.

  • Quick shoutout to Probst for being the best reality tv host in the game. He just stands there during the immunity challenge and gets soaked right with them. He sits there at tribal and just gets poured on and he LOVES it. He's amazing.

  • Preview next week: what are those rocks for? Either to play the challenge or eat food? I'm thinking maybe an un-merge???

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Kimmi deserves to be dismissed from the game immediately for pronouncing coven "COE-ven" a la Mike Borchardt from American Movie.

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Hey guys I had a dream that my coworker won survivor so I'm making the ultimate call and betting on Shawna to win this season. Sure, it sounds crazy, but if she wins you'll all look the fool!

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‣ “hashtag hidden immunity idol” lol i love when people say hashtags out loud, so good…its like HELLO those are supposed to be internet only! hahaha


‣ whoa fishback doing macbeth quotes? i knew this guys was smart but SHAKESPEAR? cultured too


‣ yeah raining for the challenge, i love it





‣ yeah so tasha picked joe then spencer then ciera and was stuck with fishback, right?


‣ i like how green just fucked the stairs portion all up putting posts in wherever to begin with, its a puzzle you dummies



‣ oh keith honey no why did you do that purple is already on the last step


‣ WhOa PuRpLe WoN


‣ its funny, they must get those POV shots of the rewards and the cambodian masseuses bowing to the survivors like right before they get there if you think about it, like the survivors have to chill out in the tuk tuk or whatever and wait for the guy in the steadicam to get those shots to the director’s satisfaction before that can go in and enjoy the reward



‣ purple team enjoys traditional spa food, which is a thing we all instantly know and appreciate as a reference - ngl the food reward looked amazing, i want to eat this


‣ its funny how little food matters this season, they go back to the losers and you see them boiling up a huge pot of clams and crabs





‣ i wish gifs had sound so you could hear the incredibly awkward way jeremky said everything he said while approaching this idol…i guess he’s out there “alone” except for the camera guys so he’s probably in his head a little about reacting in some sort of obvious way for the good of the show…sorry i guess im thinking about the behind the scenes stuff a lot tonight


‣ already got another kid planned huh jeremy? haha you dirty dog you



‣ hot babe in the rain…ENHANCE



‣ lol i love jeff getting a chance to do some hammy shit for once



‣ hmm i feel a fan fic coming on ;-)







‣ hell yeah joe gets his third immunity, he’s going to keep that necklace all season


‣ wow theres a moment when tasha is going back to camp from the challenge that was very tempting to be a creep and gif, hachi machi what a babe


‣ wow thats a really interesting twist on that extra vote advantage, very cool



‣ spencer watched his jim carrey rubberface vhs tape over and over as a child, practicing every movement


‣ wow what a move…this will be good for the show though, wigglesworth has been so boring this season

‣ i give this one a solid PROBS on the scale, good challenges, interesting advantages/twists

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I'm still two episodes behind, but I hope the cast members say "this is my second chance!" more often. I keep forgetting what the name of the show is and it would be v helpful

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Jeff is back for more Survivor sacrifices. It's how he stays so young and fit-looking, don't you know. He also looks like he's not in the mood for any of my shit today, so I'll just get right to it.


First Ep

This one is a no-brainer when Joe doesn't get to take home his immunity necklace. Joe gets the Probst kiss-off.


Second Ep

I'll say Kimmi. I think Tasha will get immunity and that the witches join forces with Jeremy, Spencer and Fishbach (the wizards?) to take down their former alliance members. Keith is just playing it cool in the background still. Attaboy Keith !!


So, in summary, I submit to you my picks to go home this week: Joe and Kimmi.

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I can't watch until tomorrow so I'll be feasting on some delicous Thanksgiving foods and also feasting on two hours of Survivor!


My predictions for this week are:


Episode 1: The Fishbach Menace

Bad weather destroys and demoralizes the camp except for Joe who feeds off of the islands energy and making him even stronger. At the challenge, Jeff offers some crazy twist with those rocks like, "you can eat a big feast or we'll fix your camp but you can't compete in the challenge" and almost everyone drops out except for Joe, giving him an even better shot at winning immunity again and he fucking does it. Tasha is pissed at Stephen for breaking their alliance and she teams up with the witches coven to vote him out! Bye bye Fishy!


Fishbach cry count: a record 5 absolute embarassing breakdowns


Episode 2: Attack of the Joes

I dunno. Joe probably loses and goes home EXCEPT HE DOESNT! Fooled you. Joe rallies the troops and kicks off Kimmi who is dead weight.

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I am not happy that they let Joe stay. What a pack of idiots. They all deserve to lose. Except Jeremy.

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I am not happy that they let Joe stay. What a pack of idiots. They all deserve to lose. Except Jeremy.

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‣ im incredibly behind so this is going to be light notes this week sorry, i have thursday off so next time should be back to normal

‣ i think i heard who one of the people getting voted off is (fishbutt) so i wont guess

‣ uhoh joe dont get mad and make them suspicious

‣ keith status: still great 4yTVnbj.gif

‣ my friend adam made this hilarious gif, and thank god for him because i couldnt do it tonight

‣ lol i thought wentworth was going to bite joe in the challenge for a second there

‣ it would be nuts if things just got out of hand and people were drowning each other and shit…idk man sorry ive been watching hunger games tumblr_inline_nylivpdkjV1t1zpts_540.gif

‣ all right i had to get fishbacks dumb water running

‣ hell yes my tasha bringing in the win dunking on kimmy dribbler

‣ uhoh looks like fishback’s got diarrhea

‣ i cant tell if its raining in cambodia or if fishback is just crying again

‣ #SevereGastroIntestinalDistress

‣ damn i love when jeff pulls these devils bargains, amazing

‣ yikes, hope that doesnt mean we’re saying goodbye to keith now

‣ damn cool move jeremy although id still love to see the end of the fishman

ABI CIERA SPENCER KASS two more to go to avenge the spirit of woo

‣ giving this half a PROBST, great episode

‣ it would be hilarious if fishbatch went home from sore feet after jeremy used an idol on him

‣ oh lol the dumb story test challenge

‣ love jeff talking shit about joe in this comp

‣ haha then fishy tricks abi, nice move man

‣ GREAT idol hiding place, good work producers

‣ “joe wont throw a survivor immunity competition for me so he is very suspicious” - the return of annoying abi

‣ how fake was that “OH NO EVERYONE IS COMING BACK WHILE I TRY TO GET THE IDOL” edit for wentworth?

‣ the time jeremy, tasha and spencer had on reward must have been crazy boring, they barely showed any of it

‣ RIP joe chances dont look good

‣ just realized where i saw joe’s hair before: prior contestant jerri. great homage to a great player joe!

‣ yup the abbidook is fully back

‣ GODDAMN goodbye fishback joe is still in it what a great pair of eps

‣ the rarest of ratings, the elusive double PROBST…amazing

‣ also i will be doing “greggmass” later tonight still, or maybe early tomorrow 8Ws2WIC.gif

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