Episode 140 - Mannequin Two: On the Move (w/ Steve Agee)

[Cinco DeNio 5290]

Holy crap! GERMANtown, Pennsylvania! How did I not see this before? This just confirms even more that this script was the first draft. The makers said it was too silly so they re-did it and came up with the original movie.

[taylor anne photo 11311]

I've been going through my notes to see if they/we have missed anything and I can't believe I forgot about this!

 

"Did you ever hear of a Prince William?" "No, I don't think I have."

 

Are you serious!? Maybe the heir to the English thrown? You know the man who was born in 1982!? A full 9 years before this movie came out!? Even if it was shelved like some of us think it was still at least conceived 6 years after he was born. And I'm pretty sure even though there was no internet the birth of an English male heir was a huge fucking deal and at least made the damn papers in America. Bull shit you have never heard of a Prince William.

[Cameron H. 23786]

I've been going through my notes to see if they/we have missed anything and I can't believe I forgot about this!

 

"Did you ever hear of a Prince William?" "No, I don't think I have."

 

Are you serious!? Maybe the heir to the English thrown? You know the man who was born in 1982!? A full 9 years before this movie came out!? Even if it was shelved like some of us think it was still at least conceived 6 years after he was born. And I'm pretty sure even though there was no internet the birth of an English male heir was a huge fucking deal and at least made the damn papers in America. Bull shit you have never heard of a Prince William.

 

Yeah, that bugged me too. It would be one thing if he said, "Have you ever heard of Prince William of Hautmann-Koenig?" but he just says, "Prince William." You'd think she'd at least ask for some kind of clarification. Also, as much as Swanson's character shouldn't have been "Jessie," he probably should have been "Wilhem" or something...

 

ETA: JESUS HORCRUX CHRIST....I just realized that this was my 1,500th post. Yikes.

 

 

However, as befits this milestone, here is my unsolicited suggestion for a future episode.

 

 

 

I know I already brought this one up in the mini-ep thread, but...all this talk about McCarthy and Kiser reminded me of it.

 

[Cinco DeNio 5290]

Throwing away all the good will I've accumulated today, I think Hauptmann-Koenig translates to Captain Chekov.

[nickelcurry 20]

Just a thought, if we're talking about making another Mannequin movie:

 

I propose a MANnequin and Nundercover crossover rom-com. She's taken a vow of celibacy, he has literally no junk, but they're both super in to each other. The meet cute could be, say, Nun trying to escape her enemies in a department store, stands super still in an aisle of mannequins until her pursuers give up and leave. She's all like, "phew," and then the MANnequin is like, "that sure left me SCARED STIFF!" And then Nun goes, "Wh-wh-wh-whaaaaaaat," falls over and MANnequin catches her in his perfectly smooth arms. "I always thought the only man I would ever fall for would be a man of miracles, but this is ridiculous!"

 

It's a tale as old as time.

[taylor anne photo 11311]

Yeah, that bugged me too. It would be one thing if he said, "Have you ever heard of Prince William of Hautmann-Koenig?" but he just says, "Prince William." You'd think she'd at least ask for some kind of clarification. Also, as much as Swanson's character shouldn't have been "Jessie," he probably should have been "Wilhem" or something...

Also his last name ends up being "Williamson" which no one ever mentioned. In Viking culture that would mean "Son of William," so is he a reincarnation like synopsis told me or is he the great great great great etc grandson of this Prince? Which damn Prince way to move on with your life and forget about your true love just to continue on your royal line if that's the case.

[EllenM 943]

"I always thought the only man I would ever fall for would be a man of miracles, but this is ridiculous!"

[paultab 225]

Correction and Omissions:

Very simple and it applies to both Mannequin films. How are these wooden mannequins still existing after a thousand years? Like someone dug up a relic of from the middle ages, realized it was a wooden lady, and just thought, "oh I'll donate this to a mannequin supplier"? Seriously, who was passing down these mannequins over the years???

 

The first one was manufactured in 1987 by Andrew MacCarthy, in the mannequin factory. It was sold to Prince & Co. She doesn't become a mannequin in Egypt, she dissolves into the ether, leaving a pile of rags behind. One reasons that the gods she begged to decided to transport her soul to an era where women had more of a say in their own lives (although there's not much by way of explanation as to why they'd then make her a mannequin whose attention could only belong to one dude, that's basically just another arranged marriage.)

 

The second one became a legendary treasure of the kingdom, and was on display since the curse was put on her. Many nations have treasures that they've put effort into preserving, and not all of them are objectively valuable.

[Cameron H. 23786]

Also his last name ends up being "Williamson" which no one ever mentioned. In Viking culture that would mean "Son of William," so is he a reincarnation like synopsis told me or is he the great great great great etc grandson of this Prince? Which damn Prince way to move on with your life and forget about your true love just to continue on your royal line if that's the case.

 

Oh yeah, the Prince is a real piece of shit. His "beloved" is cursed into being a mannequin and he just kind of goes, "Awwww, ma!" Then what? He doesn't try to fight back--he doesn't really try to do anything! I mean, there's gotta be a counter curse or something, right? Grab that sorcerer by his scrabbly beard, hold your sword to his throat, and demand that the curse be lifted. If he refuses, run him through. It's not like the sorcerer has exhibited any magical powers beyond the necklace, which for all we know, was just a family heirloom. What's the worst that can happen? The prince dies? Well, isn't she his "true love?" Shouldn't she be worth dying for? He doesn't even really react when he's told that the curse can be lifted by "her true love" which implies that she does have a true love, and it ain't him. Instead he's just like "Bummer. I guess I'll spread my seed for awhile in the hope that my great-great grand son or something gets to do my girlfriend. But, before I do that, I guess I'll just curse this land* to a thousand years of rain. A curse that will not only adversely impact you and your realm, but all the innocent people of this country, too. People just trying to eke by a meager existence and who know nothing about this whole kerfuffle. Oh yeah, and that also includes the family of the woman I supposedly loved. Fuck them too."

 

*Personally, I subscribe to the theory that the Prince handed down this curse upon his mother and that it wasn't just a side effect of the Queen's curse. If that were the case, when Jessie said the magic words when she put the necklace around the Count's neck, America should have been shrouded in a cloak of rain for a thousand years too.

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

The first one was manufactured in 1987 by Andrew MacCarthy, in the mannequin factory. It was sold to Prince & Co. She doesn't become a mannequin in Egypt, she dissolves into the ether, leaving a pile of rags behind. One reasons that the gods she begged to decided to transport her soul to an era where women had more of a say in their own lives.

 

"Ah, yes," the Gods said, "We shall send your spirit to Philadelphia in 1987! The very pinnacle of woman's equality in all of space and time. At no time earlier or later shall it ever be better."

[taylor anne photo 11311]

"Ah, yes," the Gods said, "We shall send your spirit to Philadelphia in 1987! The very pinnacle of woman's equality in all of space and time. At no time earlier or later shall it ever be better."

But she said she chose Andrew McCarthy at one point. I think it was when she just stripped in front of him and complimented him on his craftsmanship on the body and she was happy she chose him? Plus she's been hoping around time so it's not like she has a good idea of when it's really great for women. I think she is just attracted to artist types and forgot the whole women's liberation thing.

[Cameron H. 23786]

But she said she chose Andrew McCarthy at one point. I think it was when she just stripped in front of him and complimented him on his craftsmanship on the body and she was happy she chose him? Plus she's been hoping around time so it's not like she has a good idea of when it's really great for women. I think she is just attracted to artist types and forgot the whole women's liberation thing.

 

Sorry. I've never seen the first one.

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

 

 

I cannot adequately convey how much I love this post.

 

 

 

And this one just breaks my heart!

 

Well done, both of you!

 

ETA: Can Male-e-quin 3: The Curse of the Front Butt somehow include a Pretzie/Hollywood buddy team-up?

 

Thank you both! I do love the ring addition as well.

 

Also, maybe there's a gritty, bloody in-betweenquel in which The Prince tries to uncurse his love but fails and is murdered by his own mother. Like Hamlet if he failed at revenge because it turns out the mother conspired with Spretzle to murder Prince's father... Spretzle's own brother! The Peasent Girl is the cursed Ophelia, only cursed with that necklace rather than suicidal madness.

[nickelcurry 20]

Like Hamlet if he failed at revenge

 

Hamlet nearly exclusively failed at revenge.

 

Sorry, sometimes I like to hijack threads to talk about how silly Hamlet is. I feel better now.

[taylor anne photo 11311]

Sorry. I've never seen the first one.

Shit you had me fooled lol.

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

 

Hamlet nearly exclusively failed at revenge.

 

Sorry, sometimes I like to hijack threads to talk about how silly Hamlet is. I feel better now.

I feel you. Hamlet is silly as FUCK. Your Dad's ghost tells you your uncle murdered him and is fucking your mom and your response is to... put on a play? GTFO.

[robsbrother 6]

 

Regarding "The Presentation", the setting is huge indicator of how cheap the movie really is. The entire scene was shot on location at a nightclub in the Philly suburb of Granite Run named Pulsations, all the lighting and the UFO that the mannequin rides in on were part of this ridiculous event that happened twice nightly around 11 and Midnight. They'd clear the center of the dance floor, the UFO would emerge just like in the movie but instead of a piss poor Kristy Swanson mannequin there was this six foot robot that you'd might find in the Sharper Image catalogue. Security would pull the cutest girl out of the crowd to "dance" with the robot which consisted of her standing on this running board while the lights guy spun the robot around via remote control. Is pretty apparent the location crew stopped by one night, saw all this and said "OK,done".

 

Another odd note: the title is Mannequin Two: On the Move, not Mannequin 2 or Mannequin II. Who does that?

[paultab 225]

 

 

Another odd note: the title is Mannequin Two: On the Move, not Mannequin 2 or Mannequin II. Who does that?

 

(pushing glasses up nose) On the title card there is no Two, 2 or II. It is called Mannequin | On the Move.

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

Hamlet nearly exclusively failed at revenge.

 

Sorry, sometimes I like to hijack threads to talk about how silly Hamlet is. I feel better now.

I feel you. Hamlet is silly as FUCK. Your Dad's ghost tells you your uncle murdered him and is fucking your mom and your response is to... put on a play? GTFO.

 

Now all I want to do is make fun of what ineffectual, blundering chowder head Hamlet was...and don't even get me started on Romeo & Codependence (AKA Mercutio is the Best Thing in this Play)

[nickelcurry 20]

I feel you. Hamlet is silly as FUCK. Your Dad's ghost tells you your uncle murdered him and is fucking your mom and your response is to... put on a play? GTFO.

Pretty much the most roundabout way of finding out if someone is guilty or not which would not even hold up in court. Mostly sure he just wanted to put on a play, but was like, "eeeesh, I'm supposed to be avenging my father.. ugghhhhh.. maybe I can fit that in somewhere.."

 

 

Now all I want to do is make fun of what ineffectual, blundering chowder head Hamlet was...and don't even get my started on Romeo & Codependence (AKA Mercutio is the Best Thing in this Play)

 

It is insane how that movie is portrayed as a romance, honestly. They are nuts children. And also, Mercutio was honestly the best part of it, no questions.

 

PS, thank you both for indulging me, haha.

[firsttimecallerlongtimelistenr 3590]

i know it's only tuesday so it's abit early to move away from the movie but i had an idea when paul was going through the ads (which i liked in the one big block). one of the ads was for lootcrate. i know what lootcrate is but i didn't really have any idea what was in each box so i had a look.

 

- wearable

- t-shirt

- comic book (or maybe a book or mag)

- house hold item

- utility

- vinyl figure (or some type of toy)

 

anyway, it got me thinking ... what if there was a lootcrate month based on HDTGM movies.

 

so as a sidebar and if you've time try and pick some HDTGM movies and find some crappy items, t-shirts etc from their merchandise campaigns. make it cool stuff that someone would actually want or just crazy stuff.

 

here's my effort. i tried to keep the value and size of each item down. i was trying to at least make it look kinda like a proper crate.

 

- wearable ... spiderman 3 swim mask (can spiderman go underwater???) and a solarbabies badge

- t-shirt ... i wanted a sean connery torso t-shirt but this is the closest i could find

- comic book ... superman 3 movie adaptation

- house hold item ... nic cage pillow case .. what else!

- utility ... C3-PO tape dispenser that makes it look like the tape is coming out of his ... well you get the idea

- vinyl figure ... vin diesel and his charger

 

heres what it would look like:

 

[Cameron H. 23786]

Pretty much the most roundabout way of finding out if someone is guilty or not which would not even hold up in court.

 

I don't know...When I'm at the movies and a murder occurs onscreen, I like to make a quick mental note of anyone in the theater who looks visibly upset, because if they're at all unsettled by the depiction of a gruesome murder onscreen, then they're obviously guilty of something. Of course, I only call the cops on them if I have probable cause (i.e. my ghost relative has clued me in to something being up).

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

so as a sidebar and if you've time try and pick some HDTGM movies and find some crappy items, t-shirts etc from their merchandise campaigns. make it cool stuff that someone would actually want or just crazy stuff.

 

I didn't really put much effort into the affordability, availability, or whether the item actually exists, but here's my Crate!

 

Vinyl Figures:

 

T-Shirt:

 

 

Comic book:

 

 

Household Item (regrettably not real):

 

 

Utility (I'm going to call this a fridge magnet):

 

 

Wearable:

 

[faye-raye 109]

This one was great. Just a couple of notes from me on this one. I found this movie to be a bit odd in terms of a romantic comedy in that Jason had to put zero effort to attract Jesse. She was just out of the gate in love with him. Which made the later scenes of them going on a date just seem pointless. At least in the first one the similar scenes between Andrew and Kim were at least setting up them getting to know each other and falling in love.

 

But when Jesse's first words to Jason are that she loves him more than anyone will ever love him. And he never manages to make that love falter for even a second. Despite microwaving orange juice concentrate and attempting to serve it to her. Luckily she'd already mannequined herself.

 

Also why the fuck did she put the necklack on herself again in the morning, like she didnt know it was going to turn her into a statue?

 

I can see how some people could be offended by how other characters treat Hollywood Montrose throughout the two movies. I'm forgiving of it just for the fact that not only is his character easily the glue that holds both movies together, he's also as Cameron pointed out, the true hero of this franchise. I think the writers were just more than a bit lazy in thinking up ways to show the villains as shitty people other than having them treat Hollywood like garbage.

 

Also, I'd forgotten that Kim Cattrall was supposed to be Egyptian in the first movie. And people complain about Tilda Swinton in Doctor Strange.

 

If we are going to make Mannequin 3:Malequin can I suggest we go the whole hog and make it a gay love story between Hollywood and some gorgeous Greek hero frozen into a male statue by a gorgon?

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

Pretty much the most roundabout way of finding out if someone is guilty or not which would not even hold up in court. Mostly sure he just wanted to put on a play, but was like, "eeeesh, I'm supposed to be avenging my father.. ugghhhhh.. maybe I can fit that in somewhere.."

 

 

 

It is insane how that movie is portrayed as a romance, honestly. They are nuts children. And also, Mercutio was honestly the best part of it, no questions.

 

PS, thank you both for indulging me, haha.

 

Ugh, fucking Romeo. He's a teenager who gets himself murdered over a 13-year-old girl when 72 hours earlier, he was in love with ANOTHER GIRL. And because of him, that tween kills herself. "Two houses, both alike in dignity..." Oh, you must mean zero amount of dignity.