Episode 145 - Vampire Academy (w/ Michael Showalter, Aisling Bea)

[tomspanks 9039]

 

I'm really glad we're all digging into this! I mean, if the movie didn't want us to talk about it, then it shouldn't have brought it up.

 

So my guess is, that a vampire's scat would be very close in composition to that of a vampire bat's guano. According to this site, vampire bat guano is a great fertilizer and can be sold at rates as high as $2,000 per ton. Perhaps this is the secret to the Moroi's vast and unexplained wealth?

 

Now that you mention it, the grass at the academy looked super healthy.

[firsttimecallerlongtimelistenr 3590]

never in all my days did i think i would google "do vampires poop?" ... but i did

 

as i was pressing the search button i assumed i would get little to no results ... there's 123,000 results! ... but i don't think any of them will top toms beautiful answer so i didn't go any deeper ...

 

and i aint going down the google auto complete rabbit hole either ..

 

[GiveMeYourBaby 102]

I want to talk about the love spell necklace and ending evil plot involving vampire prom. Rose is wearing that necklace all through the dance, so was there no one at the dance at all that she had even a little sexual tension with? Tough break for Duckie. Was Gabriel Byrne's plan that she would get sweet sassy molassy with some random VA dude all night (without taking off the necklace) leaving Lissa unprotected? And that plan was only stymied by the fact that she exclusively wanted to bang her 26 year old teacher?

 

Also the plot to lure Lissa to prom seems unnecessary considering that Gabriel Byrne seems able to move through vampire society with armed guards with impunity. Couldn't he have just said he would have his dudes escort her to "the bunker" and have them take her wherever he wanted?

[BenMurray 7]

For some reason the whole "Ducky" thing struck me as very odd. I understand that "Pretty in Pink" is something of a cultural touchstone but I don't think it would be relevant to the main audience of this movie. I mean, I'm 35 - older than most people who would be likely to see this thing - and I have to admit I've never seen it. So anyway, I chalked it up to the writers just being out of touch.

 

Then I started thinking about what else it could mean. A quick Google search reveals that "Ducky" might be more commonly used as British slang than it is used as a Pretty in Pink reference. Here's the definition from collinsdictionary.com:

 

ducky or duckie (ˈdʌkɪ)

British darling or dear: used as a term of endearment among women, but now often used in imitation of the supposed usage of homosexual men.

 

In that light, when Rose says to Mason, "Whoa Duckie, I don't have time to deal with your feelings right now" is she just calling him a sissy? I know she isn't British, but maybe she picked up some slang from all her British friends at vampire school? Probably not. If "Stealth" can rip off "Top Gun" (another 1986 release) then I guess Vampire Academy can reference "Pretty in Pink."

[Cakebug Tranch 6873]

I preferred to think that the Duckie reference was a shout-out to Zoe Deutch's mother, who was the object of affection in 'Some Kind of Wonderful', another John Hughes script. Obtuse? Of course! It would have been way more blatant if she'd called Mia 'Watts', given their shared haircuts and better link to Mommy. And, of course, Zoe's dad directed SKOW. Surely that's it!

 

 

That's totally not it.

 

[taylor anne photo 11311]

Ugh it's only Wednesday.

 

Has anyone finished Luke Cage yet? Cause I'm obsessed and wanna talk about it lol.

[tomspanks 9039]

Ugh it's only Wednesday.

 

Has anyone finished Luke Cage yet? Cause I'm obsessed and wanna talk about it lol.

 

Me! Me!

[taylor anne photo 11311]

Yessssss!

 

IT'S SO GOOD!

 

[Cameron H. 23786]

Ugh it's only Wednesday.

 

Has anyone finished Luke Cage yet? Cause I'm obsessed and wanna talk about it lol.

 

Read my mind! (because of course you did)

 

I liked it, maybe even loved it, but...I had some issues with it. Primarily, I kept falling asleep. However, the problem may be mine, since I was watching it at like 3:00 AM everyday because that's when my son wakes up to be fed. Since I set my alarm for 5:00 anyway, I've just been getting up at that time. After an episode or two, I would find myself nodding off. I thought it was just because of the time, but a couple days ago, I had some time in the afternoon to watch, and I still almost fell asleep! I mean, that could all be related--I don't know. Was it kind of boring or am I just over tired? I will definitely be watching it again though!

[tomspanks 9039]

Sweet Christmas, so many feels watching Season 1.

 

Especially at the quip about a black man in a hoodie being a superhero.

 

I loved all the music - from the nightclub performances to the background music.

All the actors delivered (well...maybe not the actor playing Shades).

[taylor anne photo 11311]

Read my mind! (because of course you did)

 

I liked it, maybe even loved it, but...I had some issues with it. Primarily, I kept falling asleep. However, the problem may be mine, since I was watching it at like 3:00 AM everyday because that's when my son wakes up to be fed. Since I set my alarm for 5:00 anyway, I've just been getting up at that time. After an episode or two, I would find myself nodding off. I thought it was just because of the time, but a couple days ago, I had some time in the afternoon to watch, and I still almost fell asleep! I mean, that could all be related--I don't know. Was it kind of boring or am I just over tired? I will definitely be watching it again though!

 

There was only one time I nodded off but it was my bed time so I attributed it to that. I would definitely give it another try when you don't have a newborn taking all of your waking hours and see how you do lol.

 

Sweet Christmas, so many feels watching Season 1.

 

Especially at the quip about a black man in a hoodie being a superhero.

 

I loved all the music - from the nightclub performances to the background music.

All the actors delivered (well...maybe not the actor playing Shades).

Omg Theo Rossi was amazing we may have to fight over this lol

[tomspanks 9039]

Omg Theo Rossi was amazing we may have to fight over this lol

 

He just didn't do it for me, which is a shame, because I thought the Shades character was actually one of the smartest on the show. I also liked his relationship with Mariah.

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

 

He just didn't do it for me, which is a shame, because I thought the Shades character was actually one of the smartest on the show. I also liked his relationship with Mariah.

 

While I was a little bothered at first by the wholes "glasses on, glasses off" thing," I have to agree with Taylor Anne. He was definitely a bright spot for me. I actually loved all the villains except for Diamondback--who I thought was derivative and too over the top.

 

I also loved the music-except for the Method Man song which was kind of cheesy.

[taylor anne photo 11311]

While I was a little bothered at first by the wholes "glasses on, glasses off" thing," I have to agree with Taylor Anne. He was definitely a bright spot for me. I actually loved all the villains except for Diamondback--who I thought was derivative and too over the top.

 

I also loved the music-except for the Method Man song which was kind of cheesy.

I loved Diamondback purely for his contrast to Cottonmouth. They were complete opposites in their way of handling all situations and it was very interesting to see, but I will agree that after a while there were some things that I was like, "Okay we get it."

 

And I actually really enjoyed the Method Man song lol, but literally all of the music was sooo goooood!

[Cameron H. 23786]

I loved Diamondback purely for his contrast to Cottonmouth. They were complete opposites in their way of handling all situations and it was very interesting to see, but I will agree that after a while there were some things that I was like, "Okay we get it."

 

And I actually really enjoyed the Method Man song lol, but literally all of the music was sooo goooood!

 

I get that, but I REALLY liked Cottonmouth--lol. I think they did a really good job setting Diamondback up. It was like, "Wow, if Cottonmouth is scared of this dude he must be bad," and then he shows up and he didn't quite meet my expectations.

 

As far as the MM song goes, it was more the context than the song itself. Having MM in there, I don't know, it just didn't really work for me. However, the scene beneath the song, with everyone getting bullet riddled hoodies, was one of my favorite moments in the whole show. So well done.

[taylor anne photo 11311]

 

I get that, but I REALLY liked Cottonmouth--lol. I think they did a really good job setting Diamondback up. It was like, "Wow, if Cottonmouth is scared of this dude he must be bad," and then he shows up and he didn't quite meet my expectations.

 

As far as the MM song goes, it was more the context than the song itself. Having MM in there, I don't know, it just didn't really work for me. However, the scene beneath the song, with everyone getting bullet riddled hoodies, was one of my favorite moments in the whole show. So well done.

I definitely understand that cause I really loved Cottonmouth too. Mahershala fuckin' killed that role. Also...

 

 

I saw the brother thing coming a mile away so when we got that reveal it didn't pack the same punch as it was probably supposed to.

 

OH! and while I just have the spoiler tags one of the things that really fucking bothers me with the Netflix series is their refusal to even name the other heroes that have shows. We get it Claire you know a really good lawyer so just fucking call Matt instead of teasing that twice. Also Jessica Jones has a fucking name. If we can't get her in even a scene considering how much Luke was part of her series can we maybe call her by her name and not "the rebound" or "the girlfriend"???

 

 

[Cameron H. 23786]

I definitely understand that cause I really loved Cottonmouth too. Mahershala fuckin' killed that role. Also...

 

 

I saw the brother thing coming a mile away so when we got that reveal it didn't pack the same punch as it was probably supposed to.

 

OH! and while I just have the spoiler tags one of the things that really fucking bothers me with the Netflix series is their refusal to even name the other heroes that have shows. We get it Claire you know a really good lawyer so just fucking call Matt instead of teasing that twice. Also Jessica Jones has a fucking name. If we can't get her in even a scene considering how much Luke was part of her series can we maybe call her by her name and not "the rebound" or "the girlfriend"???

 

 

 

 

Yeah, that was kind of annoying. It was especially weird because, more than any other Netflix show, this one seemed more comfortable within the MCU. There were Easter Eggs and dropped names left and right, but when it comes to characters within the same network of shows, they're going to play it coy? That's weird.

 

Also, speculation time!

I think Claire is going to die and that's what's going to bring all the heroes together in The Defenders--much like Coulson's death in The Avengers. She is the one common thread throughout all the shows and a character they are all close to. Her death would affect all of them. I mean, even the last shot of her in this was her pulling a number for a self-defense course taught by Colleen Wing, who is going to be a major character in Iron Fist, so we know where she's going next.

 

 

[taylor anne photo 11311]

 

 

Yeah, that was kind of annoying. It was especially weird because, more than any other Netflix show, this one seemed more comfortable within the MCU. There were Easter Eggs and dropped names left and right, but when it comes to characters within the same network of shows, they're going to play it coy? That's weird.

 

Also, speculation time!

I think Claire is going to die and that's what's going to bring all the heroes together in The Defenders--much like Coulson's death in The Avengers. She is the one common thread throughout all the shows and a character they are all close to. Her death would affect all of them. I mean, even the last shot of her in this was her pulling a number for a self-defense course taught by Colleen Wing, who is going to be a major character in Iron Fist, so we know where she's going next.

 

 

 

Honestly though if I hear "Well unless you've got a magical hammer for me..." or something along the sorts one more time I may lose it. There are other Avengers you could reference there writers. And powered people in Harlem & Hell's Kitchen not raising interests in Tony Stark nor SHIELD is baffling. Mixed the sandboxes at least a fuckin' little bit. Like if Tony would go recruit a 16 year old in Queens then maybe he would also go talk to Daredevil or Jessica... Luke I could understand because I'm assuming that these events take place after Civil War and he wasn't in the public eye yet, but come on. The MCU wants us all to believe that this is a shared universe and things are intermingling without actually mingling them all together.

 

And the mess up of casting Alfre Woodard in a totally underused role in Civil War did not go unnoticed. I started making all these theories about how Mariah wanted to use her political power to help the Accords along by using a fake name and story but then I found out that wasn't the case and ??? whyyy???

 

I really hope Claire doesn't die cause that would suck big time. The Night Nurse deserves more time gdi (also the fact that she was finally called that made me incredibly giddy!)

 

 

[tomspanks 9039]

Gimme Cottonmouth over Diamond Jim (lol) any day.

 

I mean, is Diamondback doing all this because he has unresolved daddy issues?

 

[Cameron H. 23786]

Wow. Have you guys seen this?

 

Jesus. This is why I generally avoid the Internet...and people in general.

 

[sycasey 110]

 

Read my mind! (because of course you did)

 

I liked it, maybe even loved it, but...I had some issues with it. Primarily, I kept falling asleep. However, the problem may be mine, since I was watching it at like 3:00 AM everyday because that's when my son wakes up to be fed. Since I set my alarm for 5:00 anyway, I've just been getting up at that time. After an episode or two, I would find myself nodding off. I thought it was just because of the time, but a couple days ago, I had some time in the afternoon to watch, and I still almost fell asleep! I mean, that could all be related--I don't know. Was it kind of boring or am I just over tired? I will definitely be watching it again though!

 

I haven't watched this show yet, but I do feel like all of the Netflix Marvel shows have had major pacing problems. They really need to think about shortening the seasons to 10 episodes or fewer, because they all seem to run out of plot somewhere along the way.

[JammerLea 2070]

Wow. Have you guys seen this?

 

Oh my god. I don't watch superhero shows, but seeing that pile of bullshit makes me want to watch it. What is wrong with people?!

[taylor anne photo 11311]

Wow. Have you guys seen this?

 

Jesus. This is why I generally avoid the Internet...and people in general.

 

[firsttimecallerlongtimelistenr 3590]

i found this on dvd today .. if you told me randy quaid, whoopi goldberg, rodger daltrey, zoe wanamaker, colm meaney and frank finlay were all in a tv movie about leprechauns i would never have believed it ... but here you go ... i'm actually afraid to watch it

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnNV9icxCPs

 

hallmark have alot to answer for .... but they must pay a fortune

[BenMurray 7]

So the popular boys finally confess that they were behind all the creepy things that happened to Lissa including the blood writing on her wall that “Modern Family” licked. Their explanation is that they were harassing her because Mia agreed to have sex with them if they did. Ok, horny high school boys doing dumb, mean things so they can have sex with a hot girl. Got it. But then they explain that the writing on her wall happened because they thought it would be fun to hook up in the princess’s room and things got out of hand. We see a quick flashback of what I think was three guys getting it on while they smear blood on the wall. I don’t mean to slut shame or anything, but they seem pretty cavalier about admitting that the new “trend” with the Moroi Boys is to have wrist slashing orgies with each other. And talk about a double standard! Aren’t those the same boys who were shaming Rose for allowing Lissa to suck her blood even though it was presumably only for survival rather than for fun?

 

Speaking of wrist cutting, Lissa ends up with cuts on her arms as a result of using her powers. She seems to be very ashamed of this and goes to great lengths to deny that they ever happened. But if all the other Moroi are walking around with bandaged wrists because they like to cut themselves when they gang bang each other, why would she be so nervous about it?

 

I guess I’m just really confused about how sexuality is treated in this movie. What was “normal” behavior and what were the taboos? Modern Family says at the end that it was more fun killing that it would have been to lose her virginity. Are those two things mutually exclusive in this world?

 

P.S. I never got to go on any hemoglobin factory field trips when I was in high school. Is there such a thing as a hemoglobin factory?