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Gymkata

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OH please do! I imagine Mantzoukas would love the entire town square sequence during the Game.

ramoyer

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If you want GymKata your gonna have to start a real conversation to sell it. And there is a lot to talk about.

 

A real life olympic gymnist made this movie. He retired from athletics with his medals and decided to translate his passion for being quite flexible into the passion project of this martial arts film.

 

There is the comparision (as brought up several times on the "Jordan, Jesse, Go!" podcast) between this fictional style and the more successful GunKata brand (they got 2 movies!). (Also Hip-Hop-Kido)

 

Fictional martial art. Fake country. Somehow based on novel?

 

"The Skill of Gymnastics. The Kill of Karate."

 

What get's you excited about Kurt Thomas and this brilliant film?

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Just seen pieces of this, but even on that alone I think this is ripe material for the HDTGM panel.

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This movie is indeed truly horrible. Although you could also sub in most any '80s-era martial arts movie and say the same thing (American Ninja or anything with Sho Kosugi in it).

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This would be a great one to talk about. This movie makes WAY less sense than ANY of the American Ninja movies. This one is so preposterous and so much more hard to follow. There's so much goofy stuff in this one: the dummy shots into the ravine, the 5 minute slo-mo bit in the village - hell, the entire village sequence is beyond the pale, and the fights are all godawful. The Khan character alone needs his own movie. Also, the big bad in this is in Rage and Honor with Cynthia Rothrock, so that's fun too.

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I created an account just to state that this should be the next movie!!!

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This movie has the most aggressive foley artist of any movie I have ever seen. I remeber seeing it on tv several times back in the 80's and it still haunts me to this day. The training sequence alone could fill an entire episode. His master talking gibberish about hearing the axe. The trainer on the white horse which was obviously inspiration for the "I'm on a horse" old spice ad campaign. And possibly the best closing move to score with a princess ever: flipping back and forth until she makes out with him. Not to mention the ridiculous dialogue. This movie is so dreadful it is genius.

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If you have not seen this movie, it is far worse than you think it could possibly be.

 

First of all, the fake country is called "Parmistan." Like a combo Italian-Indian dish at the worst fusion restaurant of all time.

 

Second, gymnastics can be used to fight off dozens or hundreds of people armed with weapons! Screw legitimate martial arts or that other pussy shit! It helps if the shitty, Soviet-era, faux-Eastern-Europe village just happens to leave pommel horses laying around.

 

Third, um... I... I don't know. This movie is just so, so aggressively badly made in every possible way that it is genuinely entertaining. And now I kind of want to watch it again.

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This movie has the most aggressive foley artist of any movie I have ever seen.

 

OH MY GOD YES! I just watched this last night with a friend I kept commenting on the foley work. Whoever did the sound in the movie really wanted to make sure people heard those goddam footsteps.

 

The lead character never shows ANY emotion. This guy makes Rod from Birdemic seem like an over-acter. He reacts to everything with a blank face.

-My new girlfriend is the daughter of this village's king and betrothed to be married? Blank face.

-This guy that I had bonded with just got murdered? Blank face.

-Spoiler: My dad who I thought was dead has just saved my life? Blank face.

 

His special fighting style that blends gymnastics and karate is really him just doing pointless flips and then punching or kicking someone. But in this movie people seem to have no idea how to react to a guy flipping around. In the final fight he's getting his ass handed to him, until he starts doing some backflips, and suddenly his opponent just can't figure out how to counteract flipping. At one point there's a scene where a guy trying to kill him falls down apparently just from the sight of him flipping. It's fucking crazy.

 

And the fucking crazy village sequence, HOLY SHIT! I can't believe no one up to this point has mentioned the guy in the village in the white robe who turns around to reveal the whole back is cut out, exposing his bare ass. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Fucking old toothless women in windows making animal sounds. This whole town seems like a bunch of inbred bloodthirsty psychopaths.

 

When all was said and done I had no idea what the hell this movie was about, The government sends him to put his life on the line in this game but I do not understand why or what was at stake. I'm sure they explained it but I probably got distracted by all the stupidity. I don't even understand the game itself... did anybody understand the rules of this game? You have to run an obstacle course, but people can shoot you with arrows while you do it? That hardly seems fair. This movie is incomprehensible.

 

This movie is very entertaining though. Watch it with friends, it's a good time.

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I can't figure out what time frame this movie is in. I mean it's clearly shot in the 1980's but at times you don't know if it's modern times or ancient times. because at one point in the film you don't really see any modern cars or things like that. There is a great part in this film when he gets his training and the master has a hock on his arm and one of the other trainers who is this black guy is riding around him on a horse like in the old spice commercial, it's almost that bad.

 

You guys have to watch this film it's over the top crazy. even if it doesn't get picked for HDTGM it's still good fun to watch.

 

BTW It's Ka Rot TEE hahaha

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This movie is "bananas".

It would be perfect.

The pommel horse "just chillin", the bad guys running into his legs instead of just standing back and watching.

Pure Genius.

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I love that they're doing Gymkata now!!!

 

I was going to recommend this one.. My campaign was going to be along the lines of, "Remember when Michael Phelps was an american hero for winning some gold medals in the olympics? Back before he was caught smoking the weed. Well imagine that Hollywood decided to take his swimming fame and transition it into a blockbuster action movie cash cow.. The tag line would have been "When you take the power and discipline of olympic level swimming and combine it with karate a new martial art is formed.. It's called Swimkata!"

 

that's about how ridiculous just the premise for Gymkata is! The execution is even more amazing.

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OH MY GOD YES! I just watched this last night with a friend I kept commenting on the foley work. Whoever did the sound in the movie really wanted to make sure people heard those goddam footsteps.

 

The lead character never shows ANY emotion. This guy makes Rod from Birdemic seem like an over-acter. He reacts to everything with a blank face.

-My new girlfriend is the daughter of this village's king and betrothed to be married? Blank face.

-This guy that I had bonded with just got murdered? Blank face.

-Spoiler: My dad who I thought was dead has just saved my life? Blank face.

 

His special fighting style that blends gymnastics and karate is really him just doing pointless flips and then punching or kicking someone. But in this movie people seem to have no idea how to react to a guy flipping around. In the final fight he's getting his ass handed to him, until he starts doing some backflips, and suddenly his opponent just can't figure out how to counteract flipping. At one point there's a scene where a guy trying to kill him falls down apparently just from the sight of him flipping. It's fucking crazy.

 

And the fucking crazy village sequence, HOLY SHIT! I can't believe no one up to this point has mentioned the guy in the village in the white robe who turns around to reveal the whole back is cut out, exposing his bare ass. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Fucking old toothless women in windows making animal sounds. This whole town seems like a bunch of inbred bloodthirsty psychopaths.

 

When all was said and done I had no idea what the hell this movie was about, The government sends him to put his life on the line in this game but I do not understand why or what was at stake. I'm sure they explained it but I probably got distracted by all the stupidity. I don't even understand the game itself... did anybody understand the rules of this game? You have to run an obstacle course, but people can shoot you with arrows while you do it? That hardly seems fair. This movie is incomprehensible.

 

This movie is very entertaining though. Watch it with friends, it's a good time.

 

 

Thank you for saying this, theStray. I thought there was something wrong with me because I was noticing things like the sound of the footsteps. I'm thinking to myself, "I am purposely trying to find things wrong with this movie, or is there something amiss with the sound in the picture?"

 

Also, I love that old women are making noises like animals while hanging out the window.

 

I think the main question will be this: What the fuck is up with Thorg? Who are you, dude? Why did the main character see him at the Olympics? Thorg looks like a WWF jobber, so unless there was a 'rassling event at the '72 Games, why would he be there?

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I think the main question will be this: What the fuck is up with Thorg? Who are you, dude? Why did the main character see him at the Olympics? Thorg looks like a WWF jobber, so unless there was a 'rassling event at the '72 Games, why would he be there?

 

 

Maybe he was in the parking lot selling those sweet boots he had on.

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Maybe he was in the parking lot selling those sweet boots he had on.

 

Or those shiny cufflinks he was wearing.

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I love that they're doing Gymkata now!!!

 

I was going to recommend this one.. My campaign was going to be along the lines of, "Remember when Michael Phelps was an american hero for winning some gold medals in the olympics? Back before he was caught smoking the weed. Well imagine that Hollywood decided to take his swimming fame and transition it into a blockbuster action movie cash cow.. The tag line would have been "When you take the power and discipline of olympic level swimming and combine it with karate a new martial art is formed.. It's called Swimkata!"

 

that's about how ridiculous just the premise for Gymkata is! The execution is even more amazing.

I can see it now, all these swimming pools just randomly placed in the middle streets, alleyways, shipping yards, wherever they need a fight to break out. And of course people jumping in the water for no other reason than to follow the hero and get their asses kicked.

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I can see it now, all these swimming pools just randomly placed in the middle streets, alleyways, shipping yards, wherever they need a fight to break out. And of course people jumping in the water for no other reason than to follow the hero and get their asses kicked.

Man, this episode has its work cut out for it, because the comment threads are killing it.

 

Good job, everyone.

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When I was a kid, I really thought he was kicking ass on the pommel horse for a good 5 minutes. One of the last repeat edits sounded different and I was convinced.

I'm gonna scream like a hag out of a window, in glee when this comes out.

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