Meet Joe Black (1998)

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

I agree with Jason, they 100% need to do this fucking terrible movie. It's 3 hours long with such a simplistic plot they easily could have done this in an hour and a half.

 

Besides what other movie do you get to see Death try peanut butter for the first time?

 

 

Edit: Aaaaaand I posted this in the wrong forum. My deepest apologies, this just hasn't been my afternoon

[SlidePocket 707]

At the time, this was considered director Martin Brest's weakest film, until Gigli came along five years later.

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

I really am curious as to what people consider to be the more terrible movie. Because Gigli was garbage but at least it wasn't three hours.

 

Meet Joe Black just fucking plods along ando stretches every scene on way too long. There's also that scene with Brad Pitt talking to a black woman in the hospital which is crazy to a degree that's difficult to fully articulate into words. I don't know what accent or nation he's trying to portray, but he did not fucking nail it.

 

Jeffrey Tambor also has the distinction of essentially playing a Golden Retriever in human form in this movie.

 

This movie does make me feel really bad for Claire Forlani though. im sure to her this role on paper seemed like the kind of thing that would launch her into a bunch of bigger movies. But unfortunately the last thing I saw her in was In The Name of the King.

[ElieB 238]

Like with sphere, I seem to be on the wrong side of history with this one. Cause I liked it. Hopkins being a total boss. Brad Pitt being like a complete alien. I love it when adults act like idiot children who're experiencing everything for the first time. Just find it very comical. Hot Forlani, at her peak in probably her best film role? I dunno, her imdb makes me really sad. But I had a huge crush on her in this movie.

 

Don worry, everything gon b irie

[media='']

[/media]

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

Theres alot thats fun about this movie. Brad Pitts death scene in the beginning, him trying peanut butter for the first time etc. Even the hospital scene although jarring is still hilarious. The filming location for the mansion is also absolutely amazing.

 

Its the length that kills it for me though. Theres just too much movie for how simplistic the plot is.

[Cakebug Tranch 6873]

I saw this in a theatre full of knuckle-dragging troglodyte Australian simpletons who thought they were in for a light-hearted Brad Pitt romp. They LAUGHED THEIR ASSES OFF when he got smoked by the taxi. Like, ripples of laughter carrying over way into the next scene. They were thoroughly confused about where their funny movie went by the end.

[nthurkettle 148]

The amount of time devoted to the resolution of a corporate takeover subplot in a movie in which Death Itself is wandering Earth in a hijacked skinsuit always confused the hell out of me. Then again, considering that 80% of the film's runtime consists of dramatic pauses, everything takes way, way longer than it should.

[firsttimecallerlongtimelistenr 3590]

i really hope they never do this mind-numbing movie. there's really only 2 moments of fun, the car accident and "errie thing gonna be irie" .. the rest is just dull.

[ElieB 238]

Haha now that I think about it, Joe Black and Collateral Beauty would make great companion pieces for an ambitious double header...

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

There are a few things that deeply confuse me after thinking about this movie for a while. First is the fact that Marcia Gay Harden and Claire Forlani were playing sisters, unless i'm mistaken Marcia is a decent bit older than Forlani.

 

Or the fact that Forlani had negative chemistry with the dude playing her Fiancee in the movie. He really did just seem openly hostile to both her and Anthony Hopkins at various points throughout the movie, which always confused the shit out of me, considering he was supposed to be a corporate spy.

 

And on that note did he really think his engagement to Forlani was going to continue after he forced Hopkins out of his own business?

 

Also in a 3 hour movie how the fuck do they not show the guy who was trying to buy out Hopkins, he's mentioned all throughout the movie but not once does that dude show up.

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

Watching Fateful Findings made me come to the startling realization that this movie is essentially what would happen if Neil Breen was given a $100 million dollar budget.

The dinner scene where Anthony Hopkins has to eat cake samples is particularly cringey. I forgot this movie was a remake, the runtime of the original was 80 min. So when they decided to remake it, they added an additional hour and forty minutes. So its pretty clear how this movie ended up having pacing issues.

[CaptainAmazing 127]

Nobody's mentioned what this movie was really known for: A way to see the trailer for The Phantom Menace. People bought tickets to this just to see the trailer and left without seeing the movie. I've heard stories of theaters that re-showed the Star Wars trailer at the end of the movie for everyone who stuck around, because it was the only reason they had been there in the first place. Despite this easy boost, it still did poorly at the domestic box office.

 

Also found this interesting tidbit on Wikipedia while confirming that this was that movie: 

A two-hour version was made to show on television and airline flights, by cutting most of the plotline involving Bill Parrish's business. Since Brest derided this edit of his film and disowned it, the director's credit was changed to the Hollywood pseudonym Alan Smithee.

Yes, Brest was so married to the overlong plot about the business that he disowned a version of it that cut most of it out to get the movie down to "only" two hours.

[nthurkettle 148]

I am so happy to add to the conversation promoting this movie for the podcast, but I'm torn because in the spirit of the movie I feel like I'm supposed to wait five months before saying anything. 

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

On 8/24/2020 at 11:45 AM, CaptainAmazing said:

Nobody's mentioned what this movie was really known for: A way to see the trailer for The Phantom Menace. People bought tickets to this just to see the trailer and left without seeing the movie. I've heard stories of theaters that re-showed the Star Wars trailer at the end of the movie for everyone who stuck around, because it was the only reason they had been there in the first place. Despite this easy boost, it still did poorly at the domestic box office.

 

Also found this interesting tidbit on Wikipedia while confirming that this was that movie: 

A two-hour version was made to show on television and airline flights, by cutting most of the plotline involving Bill Parrish's business. Since Brest derided this edit of his film and disowned it, the director's credit was changed to the Hollywood pseudonym Alan Smithee.

Yes, Brest was so married to the overlong plot about the business that he disowned a version of it that cut most of it out to get the movie down to "only" two hours.

What blows my mind about that the most is that the business rival even in the three hour cut is never fucking shown. Like they didn't even do the lazy thing of having him appear via video conference.