Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995)

[ErikC 0]

If you ever want to dissect a movie with super awesome dialogue, you have to check this one out. It is the mother of all stinkers. I caught it the other night on Encore. OH MY GOD. It is riddled with one liners that make you cry from laughing so hard. It even has a 16 years young Katherine Heigl in it. Steven Segal really brings it in this... did I mention bad? Seriously, HDTGM is about bad movies. This one has it all. Bad acting, bad script, bad plot, bad dialogue, ban puns, bad action sequences, and bad special effects. It is one of the worst action movies ever made. But then again, Steven Segal has probably been in a lot of those types of movies. I won't spoil it for you, but here is a line of dialogue from a big fight scene for reference.

"F*ck, you ruined my coat!"

[ErikC 0]

If you ever want to dissect a movie with super awesome dialogue, you have to check this one out. It is the mother of all stinkers. I caught it the other night on Encore. OH MY GOD. It is riddled with one liners that make you cry from laughing so hard. It even has a 16 years young Katherine Heigl in it. Steven Segal really brings it in this... did I mention bad? Seriously, HDTGM is about bad movies. This one has it all. Bad acting, bad script, bad plot, bad dialogue, ban puns, bad action sequences, and bad special effects. It is one of the worst action movies ever made. But then again, Steven Segal has probably been in a lot of those types of movies. I won't spoil it for you, but here is a line of dialogue from a big fight scene for reference.

"F*ck, you ruined my coat!"

[Seagalismyhero 0]

Combo this with "The Core" http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/core/ since the plot lines are almost identical. One is a crummy Seagal sequel from 1995 about a runaway train and trying to stop a "mastermind" from firing a satellite beam into the Earth, the other is a crummy movie from 2003 about a train going to the Earth's core after someone already fired a satellite beam into it.

 

You know your movie is in trouble if you're using the plot device from any movie with Seagal in it and a 2 in the title.

 

(Actually just watched the fight scenes again, this one might be too bad to watch)

[AshtonGebhard 2]

Yes!!! If not Under Siege, at least the sequel! It takes place on a frickin' train!!! And... and... Seagal!!!

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

To be fair, Eric Bogosian gives a fairly delightful performance, the main henchman is also wonderful in this movie.

 

He's also the villain in the movie The People Under the Stairs in which he is absolutely amazing.

[ill Neal 42]

oh man... i saw this movie in theaters as a kid. the most memorable scene from this movie is when they get that couple who know the codes or whatever, and they threaten to poke a hot iron in the girl's eye to get the code out of the dude. and then they give them the code, and then the bad guys throw them out of the train while going over an elevated bridge, and also shoot them with machine guns as they fall to their deaths.

 

also satellites... i remember satellites...

[SlidePocket 707]

Made by the director of the Emilio Estevez classics Young Guns II and Freejack, that's all I got.

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

This movie fits in with the tidbit about him altering scenes so he has to move as little as possible. By putting the movie on a train he basically assures he only has to move forward in a fight. Also his freight train of slaps fighting style is in full force here.

 

The final fight between him and the gimp from the people under the stairs is stunning in its terribleness.

[RyanSz 3140]

Let's not forget the other staple of these movies where one of the main bad guys figures our Seagal is there and gives a speech about how badass he is that usually starts with "Oh no, Casey Ryback is here?!" The speech might as well end with "why don't we just kill ourselves now as to not make him angry?"

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

Let's not forget the other staple of these movies where one of the main bad guys figures our Seagal is there and gives a speech about how badass he is that usually starts with "Oh no, Casey Ryback is here?!" The speech might as well end with "why don't we just kill ourselves now as to not make him angry?"

 

Theres that one, plus they also do it with the army generals. "Casey Ryback is on that train?!?!?"

 

It's the same bullshit he pulled in Glimmer man when Brian Cox gives that asinine speech on how Seagal attained the title of Glimmer Man.

[BrandonHelrich 1]

This one's got it all....Steven Segal, hot chicks, ridiculous villains, racist moments and naked people tossed from a train just minutes after having sex. How did this get made?

[TrevorAlonzo 38]

Steven Seagal has sure changed.

[nthurkettle 148]

I remember when Eric Bogosian is flaunting his super-MacGuffin brand satellite control box and teasing Seagal about how he can't stop the satellite death beam, and then Seagal shoots the box and the bullet goes through Bogosian too and he dies saying something like "Oh, I never thought of that!"

 

I will bet all the money in my wallet that Seagal came up with that moment and was like "Ha! I'll show this nerd! Also - I don't know how technology works!"

[NundercoverBrother 174]

He [seagal] hacked patched into Military satellites with an Apple Newton, right?