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ritchieb

The Avengers (1998)

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Please cover this cinematic atrocity. It may well be one of the worst if not THE worst classic TV series-to-movie remake. How they got the actors they got to be in it I'll never know!

Sean Connery's wig is a sight to behold.
Oh and theres a meeting inwhich the villians are dressed as giant teddy bears and then Uma Thurman chases one of the giant bears that turns out to be a clone of herself.

Also if you could get Peter Serafinowicz in as a guest too, that would pretty much be the icing on the cake.

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Please cover this cinematic atrocity. It may well be one of the worst if not THE worst classic TV series-to-movie remake. How they got the actors they got to be in it I'll never know!

Sean Connery's wig is a sight to behold.
Oh and theres a meeting inwhich the villians are dressed as giant teddy bears and then Uma Thurman chases one of the giant bears that turns out to be a clone of herself.

Also if you could get Peter Serafinowicz in as a guest too, that would pretty much be the icing on the cake.

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Jokes,

Just wanted to see if people would actually read this

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You could have been referring to the Uma Thurman, Ralph Fiennes movie, which would be a perfectly valid suggestion.

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I didn't like this movie anyway....

 

 

....but why spam the board with "joke" threads?

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OMG!! I forgot all about the Uma Thurman disaster flick. Yes yes. I nearby amend this post to be about Steed and Peel and not about Hulk and Thor.

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Oh yeeaaah, didn't that movie kind of mark the ass-end of '60s-70s adventure show movie-remakes? Not that those have stopped completely but there was a streak of them, and I think The Avengers was the one where folks' nostalgia ran out. Literally the only scene I remember from that movie is a robot flying over a lush country road.

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Finally another place for me to plead my case for this steaming pile of dung. This is an adaptation of the whimsical 1961 British TV spy series and it just completely falls flat, really flat. John Steed (Ralph Fiennes) and Emma Peel (Uma Thurman) face a meteorological menace as they track sinister super-villain Sir August de Wynter (Sean Connery), threatening to blitz Britain with blizzards and other extreme weather. Ralph Fiennes, Uma Thurman and Sean Connery prove that you really CAN phone it in - separately, from apparently different continents. PLEASE I BEG YOU TO DO THIS.

 

16% Rotten Tomatoes kinda says it all. Cost a lot, opened pretty well, but did 1/2 of its business that weekend! They found out it was a stinker and even worldwide didn't make much more than that weekend. It made less than 1/2 of its cost back

 

Budget:

$60,000,000 (estimated)

 

Opening Weekend:

$10,305,957 (USA) (16 August 1998) (2466 Screens)

 

Gross:

$25,200,000 (Worldwide) (4 October 1998) (except USA)

 

 

http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi4069392665/

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I want to say this has been suggested before*, but I'm not sure it ever got its own thread.

 

My favorite thing about this movie: Apparently, it was one of the first big movies to not be screened for critics. I recall hearing that the studio said that they wanted critics and audiences to "discover" the movie together. Ho ho.

 

* The reason I said that: I suggested it in the "bad summer movies" thread. Like I said there, the only thing I can remember from this movie is a scene where the bad guys meet up in a board room all dressed as teddy bears. (Granted, I saw it when I was maybe 10.)

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Why hasn't this been done yet?

Sean Connery as a rapey villain who has his henchmen dress up like teddy bears for meetings in his elaborate conference space.

 

 

what more reason do you need?

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Speaking of Connery, he needs to one more movie, ANY movie, so that "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" has no legacy whatsoever. I'll take "Final Film Appearances" for 1000, Alex...

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Speaking of Connery, he needs to one more movie, ANY movie, so that "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" has no legacy whatsoever. I'll take "Final Film Appearances" for 1000, Alex...

 

There was an animated movie he did called "Sir Billi" fairly recently, but if the videos I saw long ago were any indication, that movie just proves your point.

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I'd just like to point out, in a very 88 Minutes sort of way, that Uma Thurman's character is not a spy. She is a scientist. The Ministry treats her like a spy, Sean Connery and Ralph Finnes treat her like a spy, she is not a spy. If she kills people, she can be tried, she has no jurisdiction. I know in the original series she was an "Unofficial Spy", but as far as this movie is concerned, her rank is just a scientist.

 

Also, Sean Connery's Final Scene deserves some recognition on this show.

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The Avengers was the biggest blockbuster of summer 2012, but it was also the biggest box office bomb in the summer of 1998. This cinematic turd has long since faded from the public consciousness. I think it's time we revisit this trainwreck, and give it the lambasting it deserves. It stars Uma Thurman(fresh off of Batman and Robin) and Ralph Fiennes as british secret agents who team up to save the world from a senile Scottsman(played by Sean Connery) who can control the worlds weather. This already sounds like a rejected Bond movie idea, and it's as terrible as it sounds.

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Didn't hate it.

Uma Thurman ruined Emma Peal for me.

I was hoping for something better than they delivered.

This remake wasn't able to find the right campy fun of the original series.

But didn't think it was a 'turd' or 'trainwreck'.

This scene:

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This was really bad. I think turd describes it rather accurately.

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Guys, Granny with a Gun? The Invisible Man? The fact that the character of Father tells Mother "It really isn't Mother's Day"?!? Eddie Izzard!?! DO THIS NOW

 

(I'll admit that I'm bumping it because it's currently low on the FYI poll, but it's 87 minutes of literal garbage, ironic considering the Warner Bro. Logo begins celebrating "75 Years of Entertaining")

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1M_NrJFf5g0

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I reiterate what I said over two years ago!! This film has to be done!!!

 

Look at Sean Connery's wig!!! Look!!! Don't avert your eyes!!!...... also Peter Serafinowicz for guest.

 

bEQpF24.jpg

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When she opened the box of chocolates to get the secret note to tell her to answer the phone….

When the bad guys all dress up as teddy bears….

 

??

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Mechanical bees, an inexplicably shape-shifting house, and Uma Thurman playing both Emma Peel and an evil Emma Peel clone; this movie is painfully crazy nonsense and perfect for HDTGM.

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