Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001)

[jmongol 3]

I'll let the Wikipedia entry do the talking:

"Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is a 2001 cult film from Odessa Filmworks which deals with Jesus' modern-day struggle to protect the lesbians of Ottawa, Canada, from vampires with the help of Mexican wrestler El Santo."

"The movie begins with Jesus Christ sitting on a beach relaxing and comparing the kingdom of God to a sand castle. He meets up with El Santo and a woman named Mary Magnum. Together they fight lesbian-killing vampires. Jesus fights with mixed martial arts skills and uses his carpentry skills to create weapons with which to slay vampires."

This movie is incredible. It's also a musical (sort of) and totally worth the watch.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_Christ_Vampire_Hunter
http://www.odessafilmworks.com/jcvh/index.html

[evenharder 4]

I feel the need to vocally support this suggestion. This legitimately has some of the best one-liners ("I'm...everywhere!"), oddest settings (the "Lesbian Drop-Off Center") worst/longest fight scenes (JC vs. The Athiests), and most inexplicable romances ever filmed, not to mention arguably the most hilarious closing theme music of all time. Absolutely a bad movie, and absolutely worth watching.

[Mr Orangejuice 4]

This sounds like an amazing film. Reading the description is a treat in itself.

[Apocryphalypse 5]

I will fourth this motion.

[Famous Mortimer 5]

It's wayyyyy too obscure for this show, I'd guess.

 

I did have one of the lines from this film as my ringtone for ages - "We're running low on skin. I suggest we harvest another lesbian!"

[Seauxds 2]

If you showed Birdemic, you HAVE to show this film. A few points:

 

Jesus with wooden stakes

a Luchador sidekick

lesbian vampires

"Mary Magnum"

 

I rest my case.

[Seauxds 2]

Another note: I will ship you my DVD copy if you review this movie.

 

Please, do not return it.

[jarrycanada 2483]

I seem to have found the trailer for it. too bad it's not a musical

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LRIypcaIX4

 

Btw the full movie is on you tube lets keep it our little secret!

 

As for the film, it looks really home made. it's no

.

 

When I was done watching this trailer at the end it recommend to me

.

[thestray 361]

Haha, awesome. There's actually a comic called Loaded Bible: Jesus vs Vampires which is preeeetty fun. Definitely recommend if you're the comic reading type.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Haha, awesome. There's actually a comic called Loaded Bible: Jesus vs Vampires which is preeeetty fun. Definitely recommend if you're the comic reading type.

On a related note, I suggest checking out "Battle Pope", one of the earliest works by Robert Kirkman of "Walking Dead" fame!

[Blueman29X 72]

I would really like to see a sequel where Jesus and Abe Lincoln team up to hunt all of the vampires everywhere.

[Madrigal Marco 22]

Yes, GOOD. This movie is magnificent. Jesus singing a piano-heavy jazz number while leading his flock on a skateboard alone is worth watching, to say nothing of the over-the-top foley effects, the corny fight scenes, and El Santo romancing a vampire by telling her "you have pinned my heart to the mat", a surefire pick-up line I use to this day.

 

Every inch of Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is a godamn delight.

[jarrycanada 2483]

if they ever do a Jesus movie. they should start with the greatest story ever told.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7KpBGw-Tyc

Once Upon A Time In Jerusalem

[ChristineFredrickson 0]

Upvote. This sounds amazing.

[Mullon 1]

I want to see them do this movie as well and it's a shame they haven't already.