Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)

[JSacks06 4]

I know this one may be a bit obscure, but it is totally a cluster fuck of a movie. Basically,it follows Highlander 1 up by not only upping the stakes, but also totally obscuring them. Lambert, the Highlander (who is an alien so why are they calling him by his earth creed?), has used his ultimate knowledge powers, the same one's he received for decapitating Clancy Brown, to cure global warming. Lambert is now mortal and is about to die when all of a sudden, Michael Ironside sends some dudes on flying skateboards to Earth to kill him. After a breathtaking flying sword fight, Lambert is the Highlander again. He bones Virginia Madsen like it aint no thang. Then some other shit happens. Sean Connery, playing Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramierez, is summomed back to life like fucking Beetlejuice. He serves absolutely NO relevance to the plot and cracks insane anachronistic jokes. Then Global Warming happens again, John C McGinely and Ironside team up. More sword fights. Oh yeah, did I mention they were aliens? PLEASE see this movie!

[Nasher 29]

Oddly not that obscure and even more oddly not in the forums already apparently!

 

Yes possibly the most series threatening movie ever made. Retcon in full effect by undoing every element stated in the law of the first movie: there being only one, immortality, Connery dying, the eternal battle coming to an end. Also the insertion of an alien subplot and hoverboards.

 

How the series survived, well struggled on, after that was a miracle in itself. For me there is only one Highlander.. and no other movies or tv shows at all.

 

My favorite parts are:

* the line "I want you to leave for the future.. Immediately!"

* Assassins unable to kill an old man with either swords or guns by attacking individually or with flying suits, also on top of a very slow moving train.

* Mirroring the opening sword battle in 1 with one between an oldman, with no sword!, and 2 slow and inept assassins.

* General Katana's sword?... why some sort of unweildy, heavy, broadsword for course.

* Ramírez paying for a suit with an pearl earring the store own simply accepts at face value.

* Commuter tubes with no security or safety features and capable of 600mph+

* MacLoed is some sort of scientist now? Who invents a pseudo ozone? or something..

* Standard future anachronisms of 50's motorcars everywhere and 80's music.

* People who know MacLoed not surprised he has de-aged 40years.

* MacLoed seemingly has forgotten his wife, the driving force behind the first movie, and then we are suddenly reminded of it multiple times.

* Impaling a taxi screen in an impossible way with a sword longer than the back seat.

* Forcing Mr Ironside to dress and read lines seemingly written for The Kurgan

* In flight safety demonstration that shows nothing helpful but rather fiery planes crashing.

* Not to mention how exactly Ramírez got onto a plane when he has only just learned of air-travel.

* Ramírez' funky disco fan room scene where all he had to do was open the panel for them to escape.

* Clumsy, slow sword battles that stop for no reason, much like swords that spark seemingly at random.

* The weird excuse that 'turning off' the shield requires massive amounts of energy being unexplained.

* MacLoed's magically produces a Katana to fight Katana. Lots of weird timeskips in general.

* MacLoed electrocuting Katana while holding him and doesn't feel a thing.

 

Yes a movie so bad it was one of the first to be re-cut into a different movie and released for the home audience, something fans do for turds like the Star Wars prequels, and it was done by the director twice no less.

 

If they do this movie they have to watch the original to understand why its so bad and possibly see the Renegade Version to give it even more context... now that's an epic night of fantasy sword fighting fun in anyone's books.

[RyanSz 3140]

I just rewatched this movie and forgot how batshit insane it truly is. After how good the first movie was in a cult movie kind of way, this one does a complete 180. From the characters being aliens to assassins who act like birds to Chris Lambert just wishing Sean Connery back into existence and a train accident that is all kinds of crazy, this movie is perfect for HDTGM. It was so bad that they made to alternate versions of the film to try and make it better, which it does to some extent, but it still has some of the qualitites that make it a perfect film for this podcast.

[Famous Mortimer 5]

It's certainly bad enough...but just thinking about this film hurts my head. I think it's, if anything, too dull to make a good episode.

[RyanSz 3140]

I think it can work for how insane it went from the first movie. Alien swordfighters and resurrection by saying a person's name = pure gold.

[AntoinetteLeilaniNelson 2]

i absolutely agree with this recommendation. and as for the pacing of the movie... i think the overwhelming "dumbness" of the movie makes it a captivating watch. incidentally, this movie is almost perfect if you haven't seen the first one because it basically retcons everything anyway.

[jarrycanada 2483]

it's a kinda magic. I was just thinking about highlander today. I love the sound track to it. it had a great Director's Cut version that had extra additional footage added back to the movie. what a masterpiece the first one was... and then they did this, highlander 2 the rape. Ohh man, the only think i can remember about this film is that Sean Connery steals the film away in one scene. that is the scotish tailer. I remember seeing this in a theater and the audience droped to the floor at that point and it never got better after that.

 

I wish they could of just left it alone and not made sequels.

[wyldride 285]

It's amazing that they took an unsequelable movie that was great, but a total flop in theatres, and still decided to make a shitty sequel. And, more amazingly, after it both flopped and proved how unsequelable it was: They made another awful, flop sequel -- And a TV show, a flop movie spinoff of that, and at least one crappy animated movie. It's like someone said, "I bet you can't lost any more money on this property." And they replied, "Oh yeah -- Betcha we can!"

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

I like how the franchise started at "There can only be one" before going to "There can only be one MORE" and then "There can only be several others" before ultimately ending up at "There can only be at least one a week for several seasons". I like the first film, but aside from that, the TV show was probably the best thing to come out of the series.

[RyanSz 3140]

I just wish they could have finished the video game they were making a couple years back, looked fantastic.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

I just wish they could have finished the video game they were making a couple years back, looked fantastic.

That reminds me, here's a video review I saw of the Atari Jaguar "Highlander" game based off of the animated series from the mid-90s by the Angry Video Game Nerd guy and his buddy, and that game looked absolutely abysmal. The "Highlander" review starts around the 8 minute mark...

 

http://cinemassacre.com/2013/01/09/atari-jaguar-cd/

[jarrycanada 2483]

I just wish they could have finished the video game they were making a couple years back, looked fantastic.

 

Ya but Ryan, has anyone ever made a video came based on a movie that was any good? can you name one, I bet you can't... I have been so let down by movies made into video games.

 

wyldride, you made me think of Monty Python and the Holy grail "King of Swamp Castle: When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that's what you're going to get, Lad, the strongest castle in all of England. "

 

and ya they did a tv series, I think after the third highlander movie I got lost and gave up.

[sillstaw 414]

Ya but Ryan, has anyone ever made a video came based on a movie that was any good? can you name one, I bet you can't... I have been so let down by movies made into video games.

 

That "Chronicles of Riddick" game was pretty cool. (And I say this as someone who hasn't even seen "Pitch Black," let alone the other Riddick movie.)

 

ETA: It's too bad that reboot of the "Highlander" movies they were proposing a while back fell apart. They had the director of "28 Weeks Later"* and the guy who's been making all the recent "Fast & Furious" movies** attached to direct at various times, and they wanted Ryan "Green Lantern" Reynolds to play Connor MacLeod. It's like they were trying to make a movie expressly so it would show up on "How Did This Get Made?"

 

* This guy was also attached to "Bioshock" and the remake of "The Crow" that was supposed to star Bradley Cooper before they fell apart as well. It's actually surprising that he's ever directed a movie at all, given that he tends to attach himself to movies that end up in development hell.

** To be fair, he has made at least one decent movie, "Better Luck Tomorrow."

[RyanSz 3140]

 

Ya but Ryan, has anyone ever made a video came based on a movie that was any good? can you name one, I bet you can't... I have been so let down by movies made into video games.

 

 

Goldeneye 64, Die Hard Trilogy, Chronicles of Riddick, the Ghostbusters game, Star Wars Trilogy Arcade, and Alien Trilogy were the great ones that come to mind.

[wyldride 285]

Ni!

[jimkiler 84]

My favorite part is when Connnor decapitates some aliens using a rope when they are flying. This movie is so bad and insulting if you saw the first, even as a kid i laughed at how bad it was yet I watched Nothing But Trouble and never thought it was bad.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

I think the main thing that makes this movie SO crazy is that so many people from the first one were involved. It was so off the fucking rails for a movie that had the same director, screenwriter, and producers as it's predecessor, and the only reasoning I can think of for this going in such a different direction is that the first one was a flop, so no one really gave a shit. If that was the case though, it makes me wonder why they even kept it a "Highlander" movie at all.

[jarrycanada 2483]

 

Goldeneye 64, Die Hard Trilogy, Chronicles of Riddick, the Ghostbusters game, Star Wars Trilogy Arcade, and Alien Trilogy were the great ones that come to mind.

 

Point proven, they can't make a good movie game..

[AprilFoolsRebel 457]

Hells yeah! I totally forgot about this movie! (Thanks to years of intensive therapy.)

 

Has there been any other sequel that so perfectly and compeletely screws the original pic within the first five minutes of the film? You can pretty much hear Connery rushing out the door to cash the check!

[RyanSz 3140]

 

Point proven, they can't make a good movie game..

 

Are you honestly saying that Goldeneye wasn't a fantastic game?!

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

Are you honestly saying that Goldeneye wasn't a fantastic game?!

That game is possibly the greatest shit-talker of all time, and I don't know about you guys, but I had friends that played that thing for YEARS. I was in the Air Force when it came out, I lived in dorms, and there ALWAYS seemed to be a game of GoldenEye set up in one of the dayrooms. Ten minute rounds on License to Kill, lowest scores out, winner of the round picks the preferred weapon for the next round, and you'd never really be out of the game for any longer than ten minutes. Screw online gaming, this was where it's at! Was? Whatever...

[RyanSz 3140]

Goldeneye was one of the few video games, along with Mario Kart 64, that got my parents into video gaming for a time. I still remember playing levels so much that I was able to memorize the spawn points so that I could ambush players who got killed and kill them again for an added edge.

[The putka 0]

I had not seen the 1st Highlander but went to see this steaming pile of crap w/ a group of "friends" who loved Highlander 1. After this movie I literally did not see one of them ever again. How the fuck can you have a sequel to Highlander 1? For fucks sake there can be only one!!!

 

What I vaguely remember is something about the ozone layer being destroyed and then Michael FUCKING Ironside shows up from some other dimension.

[RegFranklin 19]

Oh God, Highlander 2, the very epitome of unnecessary sequels. Where to begin? The transition from fantasy to cyberpunk dystopia, the villains plan that makes no fucking sense, all the Blade Runner ripoff scenery, Michael Ironside and John C McGinley chewing on the scenery all movie...It's such a trainwreck and should have been a sign early on to not make any future Highlander films, and yet they just kept going after that.

 

And then the aliens retcon. Oh Jesus fuck the aliens retcon....

[seanotron 2307]

This movie makes me angry just thinking about it. I'm pretty confident that not one person left the original Highlander thinking the highlanders were aliens. And what makes matters worse is that this wasn't a sequel created by all new behind-the-scenes people. It's the original director, the original producers, and one of the original screenwriters. So there's truly no excuse for how laughably bad and incomprehensible the whole thing is. Not to mention all the retcons to the original movie.