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JacobCrites

The First Annual HDTGM Awards

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best/worst Search Engine Query ( I forget the exact phrasings from each, but the following are all contenders: Twilight, Catwoman, I know who killed me...)

 

--or if you wanted to inflict serious pain, it could be the Most Questionable Search Engine Query....

I like this idea. I would almost want to broaden it to something like "Most Inexplicable Use of a Computer," that way we could include the crazy Speed 2 computer and all the insane computer stuff in Abduction. Or the 8-Bit Fish from Godzilla :lol:

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How about least PC choice that someone made it to the big screen? I'm thinking Gary Oldman playing a little person, Justin Bartha playing retarded, most of the characters in Crank, etc.

 

Also, the Birdemic! Award for Achievement in Special Effects.

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Nicolas Cage should receive a Lifetime Achievement award, and then the "Nicholas Cage Lifetime Achievement Award" can be given to the podcast's most prolific actor or actress of the following year.

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Most Un-interesting or Non-heroic Protagonist

 

Most Un-intersting or Non-threatening Antagonist

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Worst sports award could include: The Room football, Birdemic basketball, Catwoman basketball... there was something in On The Line, wasn't there? Any others?

 

Most unrealistic hot-lady-turned-awkward-social-outcast performance: All About Steve, Catwoman, The Backup Plan.

 

Strangest pronunciation of an actor's name: Tom Selllehk (Jason), Sandra B'llock (June), William/ Whelm Defoe (Paul). I'd vote for Jason's comment about Tom Selllehk's Moustaschhe (Pluto Nash). Also - if there's a 'most endearingly baffled guest' award, I nominate Jessica St. Clair, again from Pluto Nash.

 

'Most heavy-handed (attempted) message' could be good, but I'm not sure anything could compete with Birdemic. Maybe Tiptoes?

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I know we haven't officially done the first Twilight movie, but vampire baseball really should be in the sports category...

 

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Best "Talking to Computer As if it's a Human... And it Responds!"

Nominees: Judge Dredd and Speed 2 are shoe-ins as contenders.

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To be fair the award show wasn't my idea, but I couldn't believe the thread hadn't been made.

 

I do think we should decide on a name for these awards. I like the "Literallies," I like the "Howdies," any other ideas? I'm blanking.

 

B) B) B)How about the "Fockers" or Faukers (stay away from any copyrights :lol: )? You know, since most of this shit has Literally fucked up our movie going experience. Which could be a good euphemism; either positive or negative depending on how you use its part of speech. B) B) B)

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This is as good a place to post this link as any, celebrating the baffling, upsetting duality of Nicolas Cage:

 

http://www.unsungfil...s-cage-paradox/

 

I say that there should be an entire category named in his honor.

 

EDIT:

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is this. Exactly this.

 

Nicolas Cage should receive a Lifetime Achievement award, and then the "Nicholas Cage Lifetime Achievement Award" can be given to the podcast's most prolific actor or actress of the following year.

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The "How Did This Get Laid" Award: most irrelevant/awkward/disturbing sex scenes

The "How Did This Get Paid" Award: the biggest net loss (high budget movie, poor box office etc)

The "How Did This Get Slayed" Award: most terrible death scenes (the crow-wing-throat-slash from Birdemic would be a mighty contender)

 

 

All these pun-named awards should be presented by Harris Wittels in a format similar to the Foam Corner

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"How Did This Get Quaid?"---Most puzzling appearance by Dennis and/or Randy Quaid in a motion picture (I'm not sure there are any yet that you've covered, but GI Joe would be a good start...)

 

OR

 

"How Did This Get Quaid?"---Biggest mindfuck plot twist within a plot twist, named the for the "Is he or isn't he a secret agent" Schwarzenegger character in Total Recall

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Spider-man 3, another good nominee for best/worst musical number.

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The Literallies / Howdies first official categories. (Though I think Paul added an extra 'd' and called it the 'How-did-ees' which that might be even better...

  • Most blatant misuse of product placement. (Products that are unnecessary in a scene, but for the fact that a company paid for it to be there.)
  • Worst use of an accent.
  • Worst camera work / use of Dutch angles.
  • Worst facial hair in a movie.
  • Worst sports scene (from the last mini-episode)

Nominees, guys?

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"How Did This Get Quaid?"---Most puzzling appearance by Dennis and/or Randy Quaid in a motion picture (I'm not sure there are any yet that you've covered, but GI Joe would be a good start...)

 

 

I think Robot Randy Quaid in Pluto Nash takes this category!

 

Love these pun ones, maybe How Did This Get Stayed? (Most inexplicable postponement or dragging out of production, like Battlefield Earth, Pluto Nash, Old Dogs, Birdemic...)

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The Literallies / Howdies first official categories. (Though I think Paul added an extra 'd' and called it the 'How-did-ees' which that might be even better...

  • Most blatant misuse of product placement. (Products that are unnecessary in a scene, but for the fact that a company paid for it to be there.)
  • Worst use of an accent.
  • Worst camera work / use of Dutch angles.
  • Worst facial hair in a movie.
  • Worst sports scene (from the last mini-episode)

Nominees, guys?

I think what we first need to do is finalize these categories. There's some real gems in this thread. I motion that we give everybody a couple days to get in final nomination ideas, close this thread, and then start a new thread where everyone votes for what they feel the best categories are (maybe a total of 10?).

 

The way I've seen this done in various message boards is that everyone starts with 40 points (as an example), and you can assign as many points to each category as you want. (So if you really like "The Nicolas Cage Lifetime Achievement Award" category, you could give it 25 points). Then you assign your points around amongst your top 10 nominees. Then after a given time we'd count up the points, and whichever 10 have the most would be our categories.

 

Anyone want to second this idea?

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Something I thought of after coming up with the "Nicolas Cage Lifetime Achievement Award", like in how I said it should go to the most prolific actor of the next year, is that Nicolas Cage should ALWAYS be the recipient of the "Nicolas Cage Lifetime Achievement Award". There should always be more Cage than anyone else. They haven't even TOUCHED 1996-2000 post-Oscar movie star Cage yet, so there is PLENTY of Cage left in the tank.

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Is this just going to be limited to films they've done on the show? Because if it isn't, the sheer volume of choices will just lead to a million nominations in each category. Maybe. I don't know.

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Is this just going to be limited to films they've done on the show? Because if it isn't, the sheer volume of choices will just lead to a million nominations in each category. Maybe. I don't know.

 

 

Of course it's only movies that have been on the show. It gives you a reason to go back and listen to the shows/watch the movies if you haven't already. Having them bag on stuff with no point of reference really wouldn't make any sense. It should be like a HDTGM: Season 1 (well, we're way past what would be a season by now...) Revisited.

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I wanted to submit a category: Best Endangerment of Faceless Civilians

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How about a Worst Romantic Chemistry category? Before today, I would have said that Hubcap and Turkey Sub were a shoe-in, but this week's podcast presented some new contenders in Sack of Wet Dogshit #1 and Sack of Wet Dogshit #2!

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I wanted to submit a category: Best Endangerment of Faceless Civilians

 

I think "Punisher: War Zone" is an early frontrunner for that one, due to a disturbingly high number of LITERALLY faceless civilians.

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Most Unwanted Baby (The Back-Up Plan, The Smurfs, Twilight:Breaking Dawn, Tiptoes)

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There should also be some honorary award for Birdemic director James Nguyen for delivering a quote I honestly think should go down in cinema history: "Because it's a movie."

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