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Episode 99 — A View To a Kill: LIVE

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This episode is an all-time classic. I have never been so happy to hear so much about a movie that is so bad.

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So much fun. It feels like forever since I last listened to an HDTGM, but that's because June and Jason have been missed (no offense to the all-stars, who were great in their own ways).

 

I am a James Bond fan. I agreed with Mira's assessment of Thunderball. I must say, though, that I LOVE Tim Dalton (he's my favorite Bond). But this show was a treat, and now I feel like I'm gonna have to start listening to James Bonding. Between Superego, I Was There Too, and this, Matt Gourley is definitely my hero right now.

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I love that Jason mentioned DiMello it made my heart swell up..

 

bond girl name... Sandy Backyard

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Another thing about the blimp safe. Dynamite wasnt the only thing in there. Our brilliant scientist friend opened up a safe full of at least 5 submachine guns out in the open, and decided his best option was to go inside the fridge inside the safe and grab out an acme style dynamite bundle. Which him and scar guy proceed to take turns bobbling with for like a minute and a half until it explodes.

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At his age, Moore-Bond should have been looking for someone named "Karen Soulmate." Admittedly, I am on the cautious side, but my preference for Bond girl name would be "H. Ivy Negatiff."

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Also, how did Q's K-9 knockoff make it up the stairs? and with no arms or anything, is that a supposedly super high tech surveillance drone which is totally dependent on doors having been left open a crack? If Bond had just shut the damn bathroom door, the climax would have been the sad little robutt doggy repeatedly ramming the door feebly.

 

I don't ever remember watching any other Roger Moore Bonds before, so not sure if its normal, but I'm kinda surprised no one called out the stupid ass faces he made throughout the entire movie. Its like he thought he was in a Leslie Nielsen movie...and was also Leslie Nielsen.

 

So when Jennifer Flex introduced herself...

her: I'm Jenny Flex

Bond: *stupid smile* Of course you are

So apparently at least HE got it that it was supposed to be a sexy name, somehow?

 

Also how about some age-appropriate Bond girl names?

Agnes Moorehead (ok, maybe I didn't make that one up)

Fannie Packer

Gladys Jaw

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Serious question: Why is Bond trying to stop Zorin alone? I mean, as soon as Zorin kills Tibbett and tries to kill Bond, you don't need a spy anymore. Just call in back up, arrest Zorin, and stop his criminal operations, whatever they happen to be.

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Also, how did Q's K-9 knockoff make it up the stairs? and with no arms or anything, is that a supposedly super high tech surveillance drone which is totally dependent on doors having been left open a crack? If Bond had just shut the damn bathroom door, the climax would have been the sad little robutt doggy repeatedly ramming the door feebly.

 

I don't ever remember watching any other Roger Moore Bonds before, so not sure if its normal, but I'm kinda surprised no one called out the stupid ass faces he made throughout the entire movie.

Moore's over-expressive eye work and other facial contortions were a vestigial acting technique from all his roles in the silent film era. By the way, the crazy ladder truck bit was also popular before talkies were invented.

 

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Favorite action scene: Five minutes of Bond gingerly carrying his girlfriend down a ladder.

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My favorite bit about the ladder truck thing, after Bond fired the hose at the police and ran, in front of everyone, they loudly yell to each other about stealing the fire truck, in full view of plenty of firemen, jump in the truck and leave. And the firemans response to that is to turn to a cop and say "Hey, where are they goin, that ladder isn't locked down.". I don't know why, but that made me laugh.

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It reminded me of when someone finally starts to come around and admit that they're in an abusive relationship. "A View to a Kill" loves NO ONE.

 

 

NEVER! Anyone who does not like this movie is the abuser in his or her relationship with film. 'A View to a Kill' loves everyone.

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Anyway, to reenforce the age difference between Roger Moore and both his lady costars and the requirements of his character, both Moore and Patrick Macnee starred as handsome young English spies in classic 1960s television series, "The Saint" and "The Avengers" respectively. Hell, Roger Moore and Patrick Macnee exercised at the same gym when they were both up-and-coming young actors in London. Macnee is only five years older than Moore, but in this 1985 film, Macnee's character is some ridiculous old fuddy-duddy playing against the dashing, vigorous secret agent that is James Bond. The face of energy and youth in this movie? ROGER MOORE!

 

So, we're agreed that this is the greatest movie to ever be mentioned on this podcast, right? CLEARLY.

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UK viewers may have been wondering why astronomer/xylophonist, Sir Patrick Moore was in this movie, playing a nazi. I know I was.

 

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Omission! I have to show some genuine love for May Day's death - an properly good moment that somehow isn't ruined by everything surrounding it. May Day deciding to turn against her former lover/boss was much more effective than Jaws doing the same thing in Moonraker. And that "Grace Jones" stare she fixes on Zorin just before she explodes - badass.

 

My bond girl name? Vagina McTits.

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I don't think I've ever gotten so many laughs out of HDTGM, not even during No Holds Barred. Between the Monkey Shines callback from Jason and Paul ("As long as the butterflies are credited properly") to the fire truck discussion, to the bit about the contractors who make the map tables...

Strongly agree. I love when they go down rabbit holes like pasta robot, "Sleepaway Camp" opening, monkey rights. The butterfly discussion is an instant classic rabbit hole. I also love when they go into character, like the Pacino/cab driver or Hello, Lauren bits in the "88 Minutes" ep or Kroll's imitation of the costumers in "Justin to Kelly" or the phone call about the band sticker on the shovel in "Jack Frost." The map table contractors might be my favorite imagined dialogue ever.

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My bond girl name? Vagina McTits.

Jamie: Nice effort, but too subtle. Try again. Maybe watch the chicken scene in "LOL" and come back to us.

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Jamie: Nice effort, but too subtle. Try again. Maybe watch the chicken scene in "LOL" and come back to us.

 

Okay, that one was quite a head scratcher. Eventually there will just be a scene like this:

 

"My name is Bond. James Bond."

 

"My name is Sex."

 

"...what? Really?"

 

"Yeah: Sex."

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Okay, that one was quite a head scratcher. Eventually there will just be a scene like this:

 

"My name is Bond. James Bond."

 

"My name is Sex."

 

"...what? Really?"

 

"Yeah: Sex."

Made soda come out of my nose. Thank you, Jamie.

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Just started listening and had to post the Jenny Flex = Genuflects thing that I instantly though of... Guess I was beaten to the punch. Definitely a blowjob thing.

 

Plus, 'flex' alone is so obviously body related that the pun doesn't quite matter for kids/dummies.

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The butterfly lady wasn't the same lady from the fuck ship?

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Dick-Sub

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While getting these screen caps of the dick-sub I noticed a glaring continuity error:

Bond skipping across floating ice to the dick-sub (frogger style) is clearly wearing regular shoes.

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Then Bond in dick-sub clearly wearing ski boots.

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Omission! I have to show some genuine love for May Day's death - an properly good moment that somehow isn't ruined by everything surrounding it. May Day deciding to turn against her former lover/boss was much more effective than Jaws doing the same thing in Moonraker. And that "Grace Jones" stare she fixes on Zorin just before she explodes - badass.

 

Totally! I was just gushing about this on the phone with my sister, how May Day completely owns this movie and doesn't die in some bullshitty "you have to kill me" passive sacrifice. Before that badass stare, she is LAUGHING as she rides that bomb out of the mine.

 

She's still badass, almost 30 yrs later, too. Hula hooping while singing Slave to the Rhythm in a red latex bodysuit at the Diamond Jubilee...

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Also I'm only half way through the ep so forgive me if the guys covered any of these:

1. The tape recorded audio of Bond asleep and snoring was catoonishly over the top. They might as well played the audio of The Three Stooges snooring with the feather going up and down accordingly.

2. Who the heck would take a Rolls Royce through an automatic car wash?

3. Bond holds on to the rope hanging from the blimp for what, at least 10 minutes. I don't think a strong - young man could do this let alone Double A-RP.

Finally, I hope Matt Gourley mentioned that he has used music from this film as the theme music for the latest season of Superego!

It was very hard for me to not be constantly hearing his voice saying "Superego - Season 4 - Profiles in self obsession" while watching this movie.

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The worst bond movie is either Diamonds are Forever or For Your Eyes Only. The worst bond girl's name is "Plenty O'Toole" (Named after her father, no doubt). George Lazenby's On Her Majesty's Secret Service was the best bond movie.

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