Sidekicks (1992)

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

I was shocked this hadnt been posted yet.

 

Highlights are:

 

Bastion has constant fantasies about Chuck Norris.

 

Discount Bridges and Joe Piscopo are thrown in for good measure.

 

Joe Piscopo is doing the performance he felt Sensei John Kreese of the Cobra Kai should have gone with.

 

WInne from Wonder Years is naturally the love interest.

 

Bastion eventually cures himself of what appears to be a severe case of asthma.

 

Was directed by Chuck Norris's brother.

 

Then entire movie is on youtube, for free.

[Johnny Unusual 525]

I remember an SNL sketch where the ninjas from the fantasy sequence keep forgetting not just to fight one at a time, but to actually gang up on Chuck Norris.

[JustinL 216]

Glad someone remembered this. Haven't seen it in a long time, but just watching snippets I think it might be perfect.

 

Still not sold on the highlights? What if we threw in molestation via vapor rub?

http://youtu.be/1mQjEd4wTnQ?t=42m13s

 

How creepy was that? Anyway, here's the whole movie, Mr. Dumpling.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mQjEd4wTnQ

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

Joe Piscopo's performance alone is worthy of discussion. Not too mention, I can almost guarantee that Piscopo would be so happy to be invited to be a guest on the show.

[Rattrap007 52]

Was just thinking of this one today at work. Yeah THIS is made for this show... but the answer is simple.. nepotism..

 

Yeah Brandis is batshit insane in this thing. Crazy enough you should put him in a mental ward. I never have that vivido of a day dream. Nor do I picture myself teaming up with a action movie star.

[Darian 19]

Posted with no comment:

 

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

I want razorblades in the bubble gum!!!!!!!!!!!

[wakefresh 689]

If they make fun of this movie, I will burn down the internet!

 

This is a solid movie; good story; good acting (even if it has Chuck Norris, but whatever); and very fun to watch. Don't make me get the matchsticks, people.

[nrkist 71]

I don't think they'll touch this film. It's worth riffing, it is terrible, but Brandis's death is pretty sad and would hang real heavy. A child actor that was prescient enough to see his own decline impending. He tried to break into some adult roles, got some really tough breaks, and fell into depression and offed himself. I never found him that 'great'. I pretty much identify him as the kinda* cooler Wesley Crusher of Seaquest, which is the lamer version of TNG. Do your own Math of Lameness there to figure out how that slices.

 

The caveat is there, because he was still essentially Wesley Crusher, which is a really irritating character that a show believes they are writing FOR you...and TNG is already pretty lame, and Seaquest is the really watered down version of that. Imagine having to BE that character late in your child career, when you are already doubting yourself and your own bs hype machine.

 

Anyway, it's like kicking someone when they already kicked themselves all the way down to the bottom, after the fact and the ultimate note on the matter. Brandis would be the first to lash his own acting and the ridiculous projects he was in. It's just in bad taste, even if it's only a sidekick.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Seaquest is the really watered down version of that.

I see what you did there, if that's what you meant to do. If not, it's even better!

[sillstaw 414]

I don't think they'll touch this film. It's worth riffing, it is terrible, but Brandis's death is pretty sad and would hang real heavy.

 

I think they'd be capable of making fun of the movie without mocking his tragic life story.

[nrkist 71]

I see what you did there, if that's what you meant to do. If not, it's even better!

 

Well, you missed the not-so-subtle one before it that I lead with. In much worse taste than the cheesy Seaquest joke following it's darkness. I'm just making a point. It's really hard to touch this without a turn of phrase coming off as inhuman.

 

Also, you let me get away with 'kick him when he kicked himself all the way down to the bottom...even if it's only a sidekick...'.

 

I felt bad about that, but a point NEEDED to be made. Sidekick cannot be riffed, it will simply be depressing upon investigation, no matter how peripheral.

 

Edit: It's like how Printers' wives are always, "If printing was a river in Egypt...this is seriously DEpressing." And then Johannes Gutenberg is like, "WTF are you talking about, Printers' Wives?!"

 

It just doesn't work...despite everything preceding being historically accurate.

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

The way he decided to go out was sad, but it has no relevance as to being able to enjoy his movies anymore. I really hope that Toys isn't the last Robin Williams movie thats covered here as well or Fast 7 for that matter. Making fun of the movies is never meant to be in a hurtful manner, it's a line in the opening jingle of the podcast.

 

The only way it'd be depressing is if they intentionally went out of their way to do so.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

The way he decided to go out was sad, but it has no relevance as to being able to enjoy his movies anymore. I really hope that Toys isn't the last Robin Williams movie thats covered here as well or Fast 7 for that matter. Making fun of the movies is never meant to be in a hurtful manner, it's a line in the opening jingle of the podcast.

 

The only way it'd be depressing is if they intentionally went out of their way to do so.

It'd be one thing if there was any sort of correlation or parallels to be drawn between the film and how he went out (it's no "Furious 7" or "World's Greatest Dad"), or if this was the beginning of the end, and that's not the case. Also, even at the height of his career, Brandis was hardly a blip on the radar, so ragging on a movie of his more than twenty years after its release, more than a decade after his passing, is more likely to raise questions of "Who was this kid again?" than concerns about whether or not talking about his (mostly horrible) films is in bad taste.

 

I personally find "Sidekicks" ridiculous because kids my age (I'm 2 years younger than the film's star) really didn't give a shit about Chuck Norris movies at that time, except for maybe the first two "Missing in Action" films, which were readily available if someone had already rented both copies of "Rambo: First Blood-Part 2" from the neighborhood video store. By 1992, I was ALL about Jeff muthafuckin' Speakman. And Van Damme. JCVD was pretty rad, I guess.

 

My Jonathan Brandis pick for this podcast would be "Lady Bugs", the highly uncomfortable comedy where Rodney Dangerfield pervs out to 14-year-old girls while Brandis in drag becomes the star player for the girls' soccer team. I think that Jason would die of dehydration before this one was finished.

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

My Jonathan Brandis pick for this podcast would be "Lady Bugs", the highly uncomfortable comedy where Rodney Dangerfield pervs out to 14-year-old girls while Brandis in drag becomes the star player for the girls' soccer team. I think that Jason would die of dehydration before this one was finished.

 

I would also like to put forth, The Neverending Story II:The Next Chapter. I remember that came out when I was at an age when I thought pretty much ever movie was awesome and even I wanted to walk out of it.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

I would also like to put forth, The Neverending Story II:The Next Chapter. I remember that came out when I was at an age when I thought pretty much ever movie was awesome and even I wanted to walk out of it.

I remember the most interesting thing about "The Neverending Story II: The Next Chapter" being that there was a sequel to something called "The NEVERENDING Story". I know there's a Lionel Hutz clip to be found for that one...

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

Ladybugs, would be a fucking amazing movie for them to do. If you really want to lose your mind though, read the plot description for the last movie he did, Bad girls from Valley high.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bad_Girls_from_Valley_High

 

Holy shit.

[sillstaw 414]

If you really want to lose your mind though, read the plot description for the last movie he did, Bad girls from Valley high.

 

http://en.wikipedia....rom_Valley_High

 

Holy shit.

 

Wow. Just wow.

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

[mrrichardson 5]

When I was a kid, I used to watch this movie every single day of my life. This movie is epic. If HDTGM were to do a Chuck Norris film though 'The Hitman' would be a much better choice. Chuck Norris as a remorseless killer good guy is just way too great to pass up. Plus 'The Hitman' features the greatest ending to a movie ever made, ever!

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-cgdgPOapY

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

Literally any Chuck Norris movie would be amazing fodder, I maintain they should do this one, if only because so many people seem to have fond memories of it. I'd love to see what people think after a more recent viewing.

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

Am I losing it or did Paul say this movie was pretty good or something along those lines on the Top Dog episode? I think he and June should rewatch this gem and see if his opinion on it stays the same.

[mrrichardson 5]

Am I losing it or did Paul say this movie was pretty good or something along those lines on the Top Dog episode? I think he and June should rewatch this gem and see if his opinion on it stays the same.

The movie was pretty good... If you want to pick a Chuck Norris movie, there are better ones out there than this one. "The Hitman" should be the easy choice and I feel that if more people had watched that movie, than there would be more clamoring for an episode of HDTGM to be done on the film.

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

The fact that this movie is so watchable is entirely more reason why I'd rather see them cover this one than some other terrible generic action movie from the 80's.

 

It also has Joe Piscopo playing what I think is Mongolian in one of the kid's fantasies. Theres alot wrong with this movie even though its a genuinely enjoyable movie to watch.

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

Watching this movie again, Barry has like a million times more sexual chemistry with the bully than he does with Winnie from Wonder Years.

 

I'm also sad that every single dream sequence werent realized as full length features after this movie came out. I think every one had the potential to be solid gold.