Episode 60.5 — Minisode 60.5

[robinsbruce 4985]

 

TL;DR

 

Done with the internet now

[Wien 401]

Decided to watch Hemlock Grove on Netflix after Paul's mentioning it.... Holy shit, guys. This is bad. This is REAL bad. This is by far some of the worst writing I've ever encountered, on every level.

 

Birdemic's dialog was better written than this shit, and maybe even better acted in some regards. Why is my beloved Famke Janssen a part of this??

[ScottHayes 0]

If you would do a TV show, I recommend "Cop Rock" As a young TV viewer I was amazed at what adults could be capable of creating.

[danm_999 30]

Decided to watch Hemlock Grove on Netflix after Paul's mentioning it.... Holy shit, guys. This is bad. This is REAL bad. This is by far some of the worst writing I've ever encountered, on every level.

 

Birdemic's dialog was better written than this shit, and maybe even better acted in some regards. Why is my beloved Famke Janssen a part of this??

 

Oh man, a friend of mine showed me some clips from this one. Fucking insane dialogue. My favourite was;

 

That woman is what she says she is like a Mexican hates fireworks

 

 

 

I had to rewind that shit like five times, I couldn't understand what the fuck was being said.

[angrykirby 3]

Bonobos more like Boyesbos

[angrykirby 3]

"Stop or My Mom Will Shit" was a terrible sequel

[Jjussfhkjv 27]

I just watched this and .... I kinda liked it

[Kickpuncher 5012]

 

TL;DR

 

Oh, so now we're just LIKING posts without even READING them?! Guys, the whole freakin' SYSTEM is breaking down!

 

I'm kind of intrigued by the idea of doing TV shows, but 1) there are so many bad movies out there that it doesn't seem like something they need to resort to (and if they did, it would be a cool spin-off show, but that's probably not feasible for the hosts), and 2) it would be hard to come up with a format for specifically what to watch and discuss. One episode seems like too little, but a whole season seems like too much.

[choochoo_the_wonder_slut 740]

Before they resort to the cesspool of TV they should take HDTGM international. Turkish Indiana Jones seems like a good start. Or Turkish anything.

[pepperjack 303]

Can we do a run on mother movies and do 'Throw Mama from the Train' next?

[wonderboy 26]

Can we do a run on mother movies and do 'Throw Mama from the Train' next?

 

But that's an awesome movie

[therealjayknox 26]

Fully on-board with 'Stop or My Mom Will Shoot' which is the best of the best of the worst of Ebert choices choice. err yes.

 

'North' would not be a 'good bad movie' in my opinion.

'Stop' (as the industry folks called it) is tailor-made for HDTGM

 

Somebody mentioned 'Face Off' - a movie I HATED but all my friends insisted was totally awesome. This reminded me of a radio bit where the late great Patrice O'Neill was convinced 'Face Off' was great but suddenly realized it was truly horrible:

 

[paultab 225]

Richard "Toby" Schiff is in this movie!

[RichardsCopyCat 22]

Watched it last night. There was a point in the film when I started to wonder if this was really a love story between Joey and Tutti.

[wakefresh 689]

Fully on-board with 'Stop or My Mom Will Shoot' which is the best of the best of the worst of Ebert choices choice. err yes.

 

'North' would not be a 'good bad movie' in my opinion.

'Stop' (as the industry folks called it) is tailor-made for HDTGM

 

Somebody mentioned 'Face Off' - a movie I HATED but all my friends insisted was totally awesome. This reminded me of a radio bit where the late great Patrice O'Neill was convinced 'Face Off' was great but suddenly realized it was truly horrible:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcXOryOXC40

 

 

Patrice had me rolling in this shit.

 

But Face Off is a good popcorn movie, c'mon.

[seanotron 2307]

Oh my word, Patrice's laugh in that clip...that's almost as good as Jason's squeal when June asked about what constituted a street fighter.

[BagguhMcGuirk 104]

So I just finished watching this and I did not enjoy it very much. Apart from a few hilarious line readings("I wanted you to be surprised. I AM surprised." and an amazingly bad score, it just seemed like a typical late 80's early 90's horribly lame comedy. I think doing pure comedies are very hard to pull off on How did this get made and this is a perfect example of that. I personally found this more boring than In the Name of the King, which atleast had crazy writing, horrible acting, and to many wtf moments to list.

 

I just think there are so many other more worthy popcorn movies out there like Face/Off or 2012, and other comedies that would make much better shows like TMNT 1 or 2 or Hook that I wish they would've done istead of this. With that being said, I'm sure it will still be a great episode because those 3 could talk about anything for an hour and I'd love it.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Before they resort to the cesspool of TV they should take HDTGM international. Turkish Indiana Jones seems like a good start. Or Turkish anything.

Have you seen "3 Dev Adam", the Turkish Spider-Man vs. Captain America & El Santo film? In this, Spidey is an insane serial killer that dispatches people in pretty gross ways, like backing an outboard motor to their face, so American superhero Captain America (who is clearly not American) and Mexican wrestler El Santo are brought to Turkey to stop him. The guy playing "Spider-Man" has literally the craziest fucking eyebrows I've ever seen, as they seriously poke THROUGH the mask. Later, when it's revealed that *SPOILER WARNING* there are multiple Spideys, it's still incredibly easy to spot the real one.

[neilly 105]

Is it just me, or was Estelle Getty straight up HORN-DIGGITY-DOGGIN-IT for every dude in this movie; especially her own son?!?!

[chadchadwoski 0]

I just watched this movie, and while bad, I doubt it is actually the worst movie Ebert ever saw. It's not extraordinarily bad, just regular '80'scomedy bad. But so many questions.

 

Who decided to make Lt. Girlfriend act as a typical business woman instead of a hardened cop who probably had to face a lot of prejudices while rising the ranks of a male dominated field? Also, has this costume designer never heard of pant-suits? Pretty sure they were around when this movie came out.

 

On that note, this movie just goes to show that the late 80's early 90's (released in 1992) were an atrocity to fashion. His decision to wear the loudest shirts known to man paired with a corduroy jacket? Lt. Girlfriend's shirt with Roman paintings on it? And denim jeans wore above the belly button with the awful shirts tucked in? Fashion, you fooled us all well.

 

The first shootout was amazing as well. Sgt. Joe (Sly's character) is seen firing only 4 shots on screen before running out of bullets. Online, it says the average small 9mm holds 7-12 bullets in it's magazine. Did he forget to fully load his gun? This has to be a film first of a gun not lasting twice as long as it should. Also in that same scene he crushes a car door on a guys left hand causes the gun to fall out of the man's right hand. Fuck you physics.

 

In his first scene at the precinct, some guy we probably never see again gives him a banana and walks away without a word. What? "Hey, I heard through the grapevine that you are low on potassium." Men don't casually give other men bananas, it's just not done.

 

Quote: "Now there is a butt I could use for cover."

 

100's of police at his precinct, but he takes on the duties of undercover agent, hostage negotiator and homicide detective. I guess you could throw DEA agent in there at the end.

 

Decorative jack-o-lantern in Sgt. Joe's home?

 

Sly's partner is the most animated chewer ever captured on film.

 

Another quote: "Her cookies suck!" This leads Sly, a grown man, to give another grown man a swirley.

 

SPOILER ALERT

Sly stopping the plane boggled the mind. A big rig cab that is by the side of an airport, looks rusted, does not only work but apparently also has the keys in it. Plus a cop can drive it without any training. Plus make it drift into a U-turn. Then he starts raming apart parts of the plane, blowing out a tire. All this with his mother inside the plane. Then he just drives the truck into the propeller. A cargo planes propeller going through a semi trucks combustion engine and no explosion. Fuck you physics, again. Also another film first of a vehicle not exploding in an action sequence.

 

And finally, when his mom shoots Sly. Giant gun + close range = flesh wound? He should have had such a big hole in his shoulder his arm could have fallen off.

[meh 0]

I would really love to listen to a Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Movie HDTGM. Some of the worst/ best? puns I've ever heard.

[inactiveuser501 168]

I actually enjoyed this way more than I thought I did. Maybe it's because I love Golden Girls, maybe it's because in my opinion, Stallone's performance is way better than the Dolly Parton-Trainwreck Rhinestone, but I was genuinely laughing at this movie. My biggest problem with this is the JoBeth Williams subplot (Why ever would he deny that he sent the roses if he's trying to win her back. It makes NO sense) For me, this is a way better movie than North, but I can see a good episode in here (And North came out 2 years after this, so Ebert didn't know what really would hit him as the Worst Movie Ever)

 

But hands down, the best scene is Estelle Getty's "Nobody Hurts My Baby" shooting scene. If you listen to the score, it almost makes it sound like a horror movie and she is reveling in the fact that she shot a man in the chest. Amazing.

[inactiveuser501 168]

So I just finished watching this and I did not enjoy it very much. Apart from a few hilarious line readings("I wanted you to be surprised. I AM surprised." and an amazingly bad score, it just seemed like a typical late 80's early 90's horribly lame comedy. I think doing pure comedies are very hard to pull off on How did this get made and this is a perfect example of that.

 

That's what's weird to me about the pure comedy rule. Because there are amazing comedy episodes (On The Line, Pluto Nash, All About Steve,The Back-Up Plan) I'd love for them to do comedies like Town & Country or Leonard Part 6, but they can't get traction on the forums because no one wants to do a crazy movie that fails at comedy. I think they can do amazing episodes on comedies, even with a simple premise like Back-Up Plan. It just needs craziness, and a great guest host.

 

But I do understand thinking that the movie is boring bad, it's just that it can sometimes make for an amazing episode, aka, our reward for sitting through it.

[BagguhMcGuirk 104]

The only thing I'd say about movies like Pluto Nash and All about Steve is they're more than just pure comedies. Pluto was a sci-fi action/adventure and All About Steve was...I don't know but there was some next level crazy shit going on there. So for those there was more going on than Stop or My Mom WIll Shoot. I think people just get more annoyed with bad story telling than bad comedy, which is why The Happening is probably the #1 most wanted movie.

 

But as you said, it really doesn't matter if they do a comedy or whatever, you get these three in a room talking about any kind of shitty movie and it's going to be a good episode.

 

The more I think about it the more I'm inclined to agree with you. Any comedy they would pick would undoubtedly be really bad and also have a number of what the fuck moments.

Edited April 29, 2013 by BagguhMcGuirk