Episode 81 — Finger Fuckers

[ConcreteLogic 14]

 

Maybe it's because I'm older than most of you but I guess I treat a forum like this just as I would a room in the real world. If someone came up to me in the real world(meat space) and said something akin to "that 40 minutes in your show isn't funny and I could care less about your opinions" I would consider that very rude. Honestly I would give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they might have some autism that makes them unaware of how rude they are. So I would either avoid them or call them out depending on my mood. My mood this morning is that I had a very intelligent man, Randy Cohen, already give me a public verbal spanking and thought out advice. So I don't need SOME--you get the point.

The problem is that your can't really communicate on the forum the same way you could in real life. There is a massive part of the communication process that is left out, and I think you have to allow for that a bit. Perhaps feel the situation out a bit more before you go into total war mode.

[_MattressSale 22]

I like the Case Closed segments and don't want to see them gone, but maybe they could be edited better? I think once or twice before you had cut the relevant scenes into the conversation, and I thought that flowed really well.

 

As an aside, the more NSFW titles like on this episode tend to put me off more than anything, since I listen at work. Just a pain to have to clear my history afterwards.

[mattbesser 605]

I don't know how to explain it other than repeat what Randy said. At a certain point, it is like, "enough already, I get it. Case closed." My wife is saying I just need to step away.

[choochoo_the_wonder_slut 740]

I'll probably get some venom sprayed at me for saying this... but this thread about Case Closed is the most engrossing Case Closed yet! Case Closed! (?)

[DanEngler 5249]

My wife is saying I just need to step away.

To her credit, with a baby on the way, you should probably devote more time to watching comedy specials.

[Nicolas Rage 313]

Is no one else going to bring up the fact that Besser called himself 'Comedy Genius'? Maybe it was ironic or something, but it seems odd for a comedian (the stereotype is they think they're terrible) to be so immodest, haha.

 

Anyway, I like Case Closed, and I thought this week, where we had a topic that is more interesting to debate than 'Insert stupid right wing idea/ twitter troll's comment here' and a debater who was in Besser's 'intellectual weight class', was better than usual.

 

Also, I think it would be cool to have a listener be the referee. They wouldn't have to do much, but I think they'd be more likely to be neutral (I'm sure they'd still be pretty biased though) than a comedian or friend of Besser. And listener participation is always fun.

[pbnews 93]

My wife is saying I just need to step away.

 

Mah wife!

 

Sorry, carry on...

[Luchalma 7]

On the topic of the episode itself, I think this was my favorite Case Closed segment to date (althought the cyborg one was pretty good...) and Stephanie is climbing my list of favorites.

[JacobCrites 4977]

What a great episode. Seems like Mr. Cohen really nailed the pros and cons of the Case Closed segment. I agree with Matt so much in that it's a thrilling and satisfying thing to strip away the anonymity of these Internet posters and make them actually interact with a human being and defend themselves. But Cohen is right in that it's only fun to listen to if both people really care about their opinions. That random twitter dude from last week was just such weak soup. He's just a guy that speaks without thinking, not a disgusting bigot who deserved to be dismantled. I think if Matt can get a true-blue douche bag on the show who truly believes in his/her opinion, we'll have a cracking segment.

[JacobCrites 4977]

On the topic of the episode itself, I think this was my favorite Case Closed segment to date (althought the cyborg one was pretty good...) and Stephanie is climbing my list of favorites.

Stephanie capped almost every scene, right? Man she was funny in this one. Hearing her do her breathing exercizes as Fat Albert just killed me.

[Scribe 14]

I am down right appalled at this thread. The complete avoidance of the main issue has been detestable to the point of vomiting. Vomiting really good food too. Like the kind you wish you hadn't vomited but you did because you had no choice, but if you had the choice you would have opted not to. Let's get to the real problems that faced this otherwise flawless episode.

 

Daddy-long legs are not spiders. They are arthropods and they are in the class Arachnida, but they are in the order Opiliones, which are not spiders. And this crazy on-going myth that they are the most venomous “spider” is insane. No known species of daddy-long legs have venom glands, and furthermore they don’t have hallowed fangs to release and said venom. What they do have is grasping claws, and yes they are typically small and not strong enough to break human skin. But even if they could, there isn’t any venom.

 

Has the world gone mad? Are we seriously discussing whether or not some random poster was overtly expressing his dislike for a segment while lambasting the host, of whom he has great admiration, for sharing his views on his own show, thus making the “fan” come off like a douche? They’re not spiders guys! Wake up America!

[Listing Listener 11]

Hey Matt,

 

Interesting shows lately. I particularly enjoyed today's follow up over the discussion of bullying with Randy Cohen.

 

One thing I thought of during was how in these debates in which you are clearly starting out on the right side it seems counterproductive to get worked up in terms of raising one's voice, speaking too quickly, etc. It seems like you are already the winner of such a "debate", and to think of it even as a debate is miscategorizing. It struck me that really what it is is that you are curious WHY people think and behave a certain ludicrous way that is dehumanizing of others. Can such a person really be debated? They look ridiculous before there is even a starting line. I never thought of it as much of a sport or game, but more a "What the fuck is up with these people?"

 

A debate to me would be more like two dudes who both study one thing and have differeing conclusions. Like two Doctors disagreeing. What goes on in Case Closed is more like "Really? You believe this nonsense? Well I am curious why."-More of an investigation into ignorance out of curiosity.

 

Anyhoo, maybe that makes a lick of sense, maybe not. Thanks for your podcast.

[Lukas Holmes 2287]

Is no one else going to bring up the fact that Besser called himself 'Comedy Genius'? Maybe it was ironic or something, but it seems odd for a comedian (the stereotype is they think they're terrible) to be so immodest, haha.

 

 

Probably because he was referring to Randy as the comedic genius, not himself.

[Lukas Holmes 2287]

Case Closed is one of the things that has actually given me hope about the internet. To call people to task for their seemingly anonymous (hateful) behavior on the internet is a step in the right direction. Most of us are against new laws passed to police the internet, therefore it falls to people to police themselves. By having Matt invite and feud with people, he's opening the door to having the internet being a better place. Furthermore, his admittance that he felt he was bullying someone last week, and his hope at having a moderator in the future, shows another step forward.

 

His discussion with Randy was both enlightening and hilarious. We don't pay a dime for these shows, if you don't enjoy them, turn them off and move on with your life. As for me and my house, we stand with Improv4Humans.

 

Now, suck my anus...please....

[JJ Yossarian 12]

I am down right appalled at this thread. The complete avoidance of the main issue has been detestable to the point of vomiting. Vomiting really good food too. Like the kind you wish you hadn't vomited but you did because you had no choice, but if you had the choice you would have opted not to. Let's get to the real problems that faced this otherwise flawless episode.

 

Daddy-long legs are not spiders. They are arthropods and they are in the class Arachnida, but they are in the order Opiliones, which are not spiders. And this crazy on-going myth that they are the most venomous “spider” is insane. No known species of daddy-long legs have venom glands, and furthermore they don’t have hallowed fangs to release and said venom. What they do have is grasping claws, and yes they are typically small and not strong enough to break human skin. But even if they could, there isn’t any venom.

 

Has the world gone mad? Are we seriously discussing whether or not some random poster was overtly expressing his dislike for a segment while lambasting the host, of whom he has great admiration, for sharing his views on his own show, thus making the “fan” come off like a douche? They’re not spiders guys! Wake up America!

 

I have to jump on the opilionid support bandwagon. The only defense the "daddy long legs spider" has is its repugnatorial organs, that is, they can make a bad smell. Next time you see one, try smelling it. Those in my area make an odor a bit like rotten oranges. That is why they collect into large groups, as referenced in the show, to make their stink more powerful and scare away predators.

 

The old myth about their venom is also an interesting story, and points to two problems in most people's understanding of entomology. The first is the problem of common names. The "daddy long legs" mentioned in the video are opilionids, not a spider, but this common name is also used to describe an actual spider in the family pholcidae.This is the second problem, the pholcid spider was once calculated to have a very potent venom based on its size, and was described as having the strongest venom per unit of body size, but this means the venom is no more potent than any other spider. Additionally, pholcids are unlikely to bite humans, and their venom is not harmful to people.

[Schach 34]

I straight up don't even comprehend how someone could say something like "I love Matt Besser and his work but I don't care about anything he thinks." If you're interested in the man as a performer why wouldn't you want to know more about him in general? Especially with something as compelling as an interview/debate with the actual Ethicist. Are these the guys not throwing quarters in the juggler's tipbox?

 

Can I also say more specifically, and at the risk of being overly sincere, that I disagree in large part with Randy Cohen. It means a lot, as a gay dude, to hear a straight person, who ostensibly has no stake in the matter, just cold yelling at a dude with dumb, bigoted opinions. God I wish you'd gotten Ben Shapiro on.

[Marmaducca 12]

Hi Matt,

I just wanted to say thank you as a gay guy for your support of the gay community and trying to call the people who say those things on twiitte and other comments anonymously. I had a few questions for you - in the previous podcast you talked about how had gay friends in high school that came out in college because they were too scared (if i got that fact i apologize). Do you still keep in touch with them to see if their lives got better? How bad was it for your friends in Arkansas in the 1980s? As for calling out the rednecks while they said reminded me of the time when I went to my first WWE wrestling show while i was in undergrad in college (early 2000s) in NC. After a group of wrestlers came out dressed as male cheerleaders a few rows behind me these drunk guys started screaming "Kill the faggot", "Beat the faggot", etc it then got picked up half of the stadium. it made me extremly uncomfortable (reawakening my own past bad experiences) and i started seeing red. I started yelling at them and my friends had to physically restrain get me out of the stadium before I got beaten up as i dont think a Woody Allenesque man would have lasted long amongst the fans there. The fact that Jason Collins is coming out and hopefully will help shape younger people's minds is great. I didnt have many out hereos - i think the only big person I remember being out was Ellen. Keep up the good fight.

[choochoo_the_wonder_slut 740]

Now that the napalm has somewhat evaporated, I'll say that Astartes' post really doesn't read that offensively to me. I read it as "unsolicited opinions aren't hard to find in today's divided world, but great improv comedy podcasts are, and that's what he listens to I4H for". I can understand that angle... it IS hard to go into a bar, or get a haircut, or watch network news, or even have a spontaneous conversation without being subjected to someone's unsolicited opinion nowadays (usually political). And after awhile it can get tiring even if you completely agree with the person, because the modern public is getting force-fed opinions like never before through multitudes of new and constant media. If Astartes had just said something like he doesn't watch Rachel Maddow for her 15 minute improv set, it probably would have went over better. In the modern world, sometimes people assume the tone in their heads automatically carries over into the text they type. It does not. There is no inflection button on keyboards.

 

On the other hand... Matt did ironically go batshit insane on the guy on the day his chat with the Ethicist about civilized debate dropped. Which I found pretty hilarious in itself. In rough order, he told the poster to grow up, somewhat let all of us know that the Earwolf hosts think the forums are a bag full of dicks, somewhat politely told everyone to stop giving unsolicited opinions on Case Closed (irony?), leveled a half-hearted autism accusation, and then retired. In my opinion Matt came off worse for wear in the exchange. And the majority here flocked to his defense, which is also interesting.

 

But Matt Besser is a good guy, and a great comedian, the host of an amazing show, a guy who isn't afraid to speak up to right a wrong, and a human. Every human has crazy moments. I once bitchslapped a nun (I was 12 and she had it coming for years). So I forgive Matt Besser for going a little nuts, but I also choose to give Astartes the benefit of the doubt for not knowing how to properly convey thoughts with the written word.

 

Now, suck my anus, please.

[mattbesser 605]

Is no one else going to bring up the fact that Besser called himself 'Comedy Genius'? Maybe it was ironic or something, but it seems odd for a comedian (the stereotype is they think they're terrible) to be so immodest, haha.

 

I was calling Randy Cohen a comedic genius. He is an amazing writer. He helped the UCB with our first sketch pilot that we had with FOX before Comedy Central. If you ever saw TV Nation he was literally responsible for half the bits on the show. He defines prolific. I only call myself a genius to...my wife.

[robinsbruce 4985]

 

somewhat let all of us know that the Earwolf hosts think the forums are a bag full of dicks...

 

 

Yeah, that kind of bummed me out

 

 

Now, suck my anus, please.

 

This still makes me laugh, in every instance. (lookin at you Luke)

[choochoo_the_wonder_slut 740]

I only call myself a genius to...my wife.

 

Mah wife

[thestray 361]

"I couldn't care less about your opinion"... I don't see how tone could've made that sound any less dickish. It's just not a thing you'd say to someone you're trying to be civil to. I don't know why people think on the internet it's just okay to talk to anyone however you want, and are shocked when it rubs someone the wrong way. I don't think that just because Matt wants to have fair debates on his show means he has to treat anyone on the internet being a dick to him with kid gloves. People are acting like Matt lost his shit at someone being completely courteous with him.

 

One of the great things about podcasts is that they're free and the hosts have the freedom to do virtually whatever the hell they want, which is not to say that it's wrong to give feedback, but the level of snarkyness in some people's criticism is a bit uncalled for.

[BrettMorris 1862]

I read Ascartes' post as basically "shut up and make me laugh". That's how it came off to me, and (not speaking for Matt) that is an entitled attitude a lot of creative people (at least myself) are particularly sensitive to, after pushing themselves and sharing their work with the world. It's quite a way to convey yourself as your FIRST post directly meant to be read by the person you're a "fan" of. These aren't just four clowns clocking in, turning off their brains and juggling for you, it's bizarre to me that someone could view this show in particular as such shallow entertainment. Good comedy, especially this type, is informed by truth and real issues and catharsis, and you can't separate the two. All of the opinions shared circle back to make the comedy better. I think it's fascinating that these guys can dig so deep even through ethical debates for the comedy therein.

[thestray 361]

Anyway, I think judged Case Closed segments would be cool. There's already a great model for this in the Judge John Hodgman podcast, which is another favorite of mine. 2 disputants, a judge, and sometimes an expert witness, and the loser has to abide by the judge's verdict. His topics have ranged from absurd (is a machine gun a robot?) to more serious things like religious expression (an atheist objecting to his wife displaying religious objects in his home). In fact I think it would be kinda cool to bring Hodgman himself on to judge a Case Closed, he'd add more levity to the segment.

[Nicolas Rage 313]

I was calling Randy Cohen a comedic genius. He is an amazing writer. He helped the UCB with our first sketch pilot that we had with FOX before Comedy Central. If you ever saw TV Nation he was literally responsible for half the bits on the show. He defines prolific. I only call myself a genius to...my wife.

 

Ah, that makes much more sense!

 

Being an eighteen year old guy from the UK, I don't know that much about american comedy history (I was four months old when TV Nation ended.), so I associated Randy Cohen with the ethicist column and not comedy. And the only reason I even knew that column existed was you mentioning it on the previous I4H.

 

...mah wife.