I, Frankenstein (2014)

[rcavanah 21]

Two-Face becomes Fourteen-Face and it's all apparently very very serious.

 

 

Don't get me wrong, this might be one of those "don't watch this, it's not fun" kinda things, but I mean... just... it was gonna be here sooner or later, so I'm posting it. The end.

[sillstaw 414]

One of the people I follow on Facebook joked that it looked like the worst launch title for Xbox One.

 

Quite frankly (ha!), I have no idea what the flying things are, why Frankenstein is apparently immortal, how a creature usually known for being made out of reanimated corpse parts manages to be in fighting shape hundreds of years later, why a zombie-esque monster can't manage to look even a tenth as horrifying as Eckhart looked as Two-Face, or why I laughed so hard at this trailer despite there being no jokes in it.

 

Wait... "from the producers of 'Underworld?'" Well, there's my answer.

[rcavanah 21]

It's been promoted some places as being "based on the graphic novel," but the graphic novel is by the Underworld guy himself.

 

Somebody needs to tell him that doesn't count, because that's just... yunno... storyboarding.

[jarrycanada 2483]

One of the people I follow on Facebook joked that it looked like the worst launch title for Xbox One.

 

Quite frankly (ha!), I have no idea what the flying things are, why Frankenstein is apparently immortal, how a creature usually known for being made out of reanimated corpse parts manages to be in fighting shape hundreds of years later, why a zombie-esque monster can't manage to look even a tenth as horrifying as Eckhart looked as Two-Face, or why I laughed so hard at this trailer despite there being no jokes in it.

 

Wait... "from the producers of 'Underworld?'" Well, there's my answer.

 

The trailer does look like a Xbox tv ad. I learned a long time ago to read reviews before buying games. you go out and buy this game and then later only to find out that the trailer you had seen on tv, is all cut scenes from the game and none of its real game play from the game it's self, pisses me off.

 

I didn't mind the underworld movies, I started watching them on cable tv after seeing so many parts of the film i wanted to know how it ends so I broke and got them on dvd, that was money well spent...

[RyanSz 3140]

Wait... "from the producers of 'Underworld?'" Well, there's my answer.

I was waiting to see if Underworlders were somehow involved in this and my thoughts were confirmed by that line right there. It would have been a very interesting movie to see Frankenstein's monster surviving through the years after his creator's death and how he learned to evolve, but the "sexy monster" that they are making him out to be and his involvement in what appears to be a fight against Greek mythology creatures (which would fit since Frankenstein is also called the modern Prometheus), doesn't come off as eye catching.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

I have no idea what the flying things are, why Frankenstein is apparently immortal, how a creature usually known for being made out of reanimated corpse parts manages to be in fighting shape hundreds of years later

That just gave me an idea for an incredibly batshit insane martial arts movie where someone's combined the body parts of all the greatest fighters throughout history into the single most ass-kicking undead creature on the planet. Why they would do that, I don't know, but it's no dumber an idea than whatever they were trying to accomplish in "Virtuosity"...

[thestray 361]

That just gave me an idea for an incredibly batshit insane martial arts movie where someone's combined the body parts of all the greatest fighters throughout history into the single most ass-kicking undead creature on the planet. Why they would do that, I don't know, but it's no dumber an idea than whatever they were trying to accomplish in "Virtuosity"...

 

Let's Kickstart this movie immediately, that actually sounds really cool.

[thestray 361]

Oh yeah, but this movie... what the hell is going on? I was wondering why Frankenstein is super strong, and he also doesn't look like he's made from dead body parts of random people, he looks like one fit handsome guy who needed a lot of stitches.

[RyanSz 3140]

That just gave me an idea for an incredibly batshit insane martial arts movie where someone's combined the body parts of all the greatest fighters throughout history into the single most ass-kicking undead creature on the planet. Why they would do that, I don't know, but it's no dumber an idea than whatever they were trying to accomplish in "Virtuosity"...

Could the theme song of the movie be "Kung Fu Fighting" by Carl Douglas just for the line everybody was kung fu fighting? Also can there be a fight scene where the different body parts are fighting one another a la the Ed Norton Fight Club self fighting scene?

[IHugKittens 53]

So wait, the Underworld people don't know that the whole appeal of their series was Kate Beckinsale in an S&M costume? They thought people liked it because it had a captivating story or something? Hahahaha... wow!

[Wien 401]

This does not look fun. At all.

[Johnny Unusual 525]

Yeah, this might be a great episode, but it feels like one of those movies that look outrageous but are really just a slog.

[PhillipMedoc 648]

Yeah, this might be a great episode, but it feels like one of those movies that look outrageous but are really just a slog.

Uwe Boll comes to mind. No way am I ever sitting through one of his films again.

[Darian 19]

i think you can dedicate a full episode just on the trailer for this movie

 

ps

 

aaron eckhart deserves to be in better movies than this...

 

all of those actors do...

[jimkiler 84]

i think you can dedicate a full episode just on the trailer for this movie

 

ps

 

aaron eckhart deserves to be in better movies than this...

 

all of those actors do...

 

Agreed, the trailer alone makes this look as good as Hansel and Gretel. Maybe a double feature for HDTGM for both movies will happen?

[Blast Hardcheese 636]

I remember seeing the trailer for this movie and thinking that, given it's self-serious tone and CGI'd joylessness, that either the people behind Resident Evil or the Underworld series were behind it. Lo and behold...

 

Honestly, there should be a category for films like this: a hair above B grade, devoid of humor, with blue/black/dank color palettes, and muddled, whisper thin plots held together with nothing expositionary dialog, all wedged between slow motion splatastic action sequences with guns/swords/karate kicks a'blazin'.

[BenjaminW.Piehler 12]

"'I, Frankenstein': NOT the worst movie ever"

 

http://entertainment...ever/?hpt=hp_t3

[RyanSz 3140]

"'I, Frankenstein': NOT the worst movie ever"

 

http://entertainment...ever/?hpt=hp_t3

Wow what a rousing title to sell the movie on. You think it will be on upcoming trailers?

[jarrycanada 2483]

Uwe Boll comes to mind. No way am I ever sitting through one of his films again.

 

Cat & beard - you say that but go see Assault on Wall Street and then say that. it's shockingly not that bad. it's a great movie to watch after Wolfs of Wall Street. makes you feel better.. I know it's cashing in on that franchise.

 

anyone seen Cat & Beard?

 

 

Anyone know if this is in 3d. because that would sum up everything I need to know about this film.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

Cat & beard - you say that but go see Assault on Wall Street and then say that. it's shockingly not that bad. it's a great movie to watch after Wolfs of Wall Street. makes you feel better.. I know it's cashing in on that franchise.

This reminds me, because strangely enough, I've been hearing good things about "Best Night Ever", by Seltzer and Friedberg (all of the "Movie" movies), so all of a sudden you have these deservedly shit-upon filmmakers going out and almost accidentally making not-awful films. Weird...

[seanotron 2307]

 

Cat & beard - you say that but go see Assault on Wall Street and then say that. it's shockingly not that bad. it's a great movie to watch after Wolfs of Wall Street. makes you feel better.. I know it's cashing in on that franchise.

 

 

Jerry, they should use you as a pull quote for the DVD.

 

'JerryCanada says Assault on Wall Street is 'shockingly not that bad'

[sillstaw 414]

Anyone know if this is in 3d. because that would sum up everything I need to know about this film.

 

It is.

 

This reminds me, because strangely enough, I've been hearing good things about "Best Night Ever", by Seltzer and Friedberg (all of the "Movie" movies), so all of a sudden you have these deservedly shit-upon filmmakers going out and almost accidentally making not-awful films. Weird...

 

I've honestly hesitated to watch the trailer for that. On one hand, it's not a parody, so maybe they actually had to try writing actual jokes and stuff. On the other, their name carries with it the expectation that, even if they aren't just throwing references out like expired Chinese food, their humor will still be misogynistic and repulsive. (The fact that it sounds like it's a "Hangover"-type movie doesn't help with the last adjective.)

[D.j.Stinkay 0]

Having seen this, I can attest that it is ludicrous...and I loved it. Not a slog at all, but absolutely TERRIBLE.

[dlo burns 129]

That just gave me an idea for an incredibly batshit insane martial arts movie where someone's combined the body parts of all the greatest fighters throughout history into the single most ass-kicking undead creature on the planet. Why they would do that, I don't know, but it's no dumber an idea than whatever they were trying to accomplish in "Virtuosity"...

 

This villainous plot is what Nundercover is trying to stop, and she has to steal the Holy Grail & Shroud of Turin so nobody else can.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

This villainous plot is what Nundercover is trying to stop, and she has to steal the Holy Grail & Shroud of Turin so nobody else can.

That would be a better plot for "Nundercover 2: Second to Nun".