Episode 73 — Congo

[CameronMascari 329]

Can't believe this free podcast was delayed a day, I demand a refund!

[GrahamCox 4]

Something from my childhood that stuck with me about Congo:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyK5E8JbaC0

[grog1138 60]

Who's eyeball was that in the beginning? The one that Bruce Campbell picked up. I thought it was Grant Heslov's eyeball but, he had both eyeballs when they see him later on. Did he find the missing eyeball and pop it back in?

 

I don't know if I agree that the apes were the good guys. They were dicks! Throwing eyeballs and throwing heads at people.

 

R.B. Travis (Bruce Campbell's father) was on the brink of discovering Blu-Ray technology with the blue diamonds. Ironically, Congo is not out on Blu-Ray.

 

Also, HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS!

[Shannon 2953]

I need a "Bizzarely Erotic" Memezoukas now please.

 

 

My favorite review was the Amy one. I honestly don't know what actually happened in this movie because I was so obsessed with Amy's childlike robot voice that we riffed a whole new movie on top of the other one. It started when my bf suggested that Amy should have shot the hippo and then had a crisis about it. "Amy. murderer. Amy. kill. kill. Amy. sad." Then she got very depressed and fell harder into her raindrop drinks and really fell off the handle. "Amy. sick of you. Amy. tired. your shit. Amy. murder. ugly woman" She wasn't sure if she even knows what it means to be a gorilla! She demanded many cigars. When they got to the temple Amy's power glove started spouting scary latin stuff when she remembered growing up in a monkey cult. I had also decided that Tim Curry's father had been eaten by monkeys and he was looking to avenge him.

 

Needless to say, I had a lot of fun. But this movie is stuuupid.

[imhatch 271]

i was not able to enjoy this episode fully i guess congo is a bad movie that is somehow irredeemable in spite of tim curry and the hudz

[DubipR 485]

JOE DON BAKER!

 

MITCHELL!

 

[PhillipMedoc 648]

MITCHELL!

 

Mittens?

[Shannon 2953]

also holy flashbacks batman about the taco bell promotion. I knew I had some memory associated with this movie. And it's that my grandma always bought us promotional watches and glasses from fast food restaurants.

 

[grog1138 60]

OMISSION: Delroy Lindo says "Liar, liar, pants on fire" with a TON of conviction.

 

ALSO: During the powerpoint presentation at the beginning of the movie, shown to many supposedly important scientists, there is a clip of a man using the same technology Amy has. He signs "this is the first time I've heard my own voice" and the robot voice says it for him, and NO ONE bothers to explain to this poor deaf man that he doesn't really sound like an AT&T answering machine. That's the computer talking, not you, deaf guy! They just let this man believe that that's his real voice??

 

The premise that this technology is mind-blowing and will change the lives of many deaf people was also kind of dismissive of deaf people, as if they can't get through life now without it? The only reason this technology was created is because the hearing population is too lazy to learn sign language. No other benefit as far as I can see. Deaf people don't need this technology, hearing people need it to avoid having to learn sign language.

 

Terrible terrible movie. A whole hour could have been spent on Ernie Hudson's amazing dapper-Englishman-to-New-Yorker-Ernie-Hudson accent transitions.

 

If he's deaf, how can he hear his "voice" for the first time?

(if a tree falls in a forest....)

[DubipR 485]

Mittens?

 

Joe Don Baker is Martha Mitchell in the "Martha Mitchell Story"....

[grog1138 60]

Can I just suggest that maybe this is part of Mr Eko's backstory?

 

I was happy that Mr. Eko had the snake scene. Such a badass. Some good character building right there.

[wakefresh 689]

Although this had a pretty compelling cross species romance, "Passions" takes the cake when it comes to forbidden primate love.

 

[media='']http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKH2jge3pMo[/media]

[Wien 401]

Oh my God, I forgot all about the gorilla warfare scene. Good god, there were so many fucking guns and explosions going off and rockets FUCKING ROCKETS streaming through the air all targeted towards monkeys.... it was like a scene out of The Expendables, it was so ultra violent in its intent to destroy animals with reckless abandon. I could not believe that they unleashed such an incredible amount of unbridled force against gorillas. Who, I guess, were supposed to be super intelligent and outwitted the computer defense systems....

 

... but not intelligent enough to not JUMP INTO THE FUCKING LAVA LIKE THEY'RE AT A GOD DAMNED POOL PARTY when the volcano erupts.

 

Seriously, fuck this movie.

[RobotsPJs 123]

I find this movie enjoyable for how cheesy bad it is. One of those films that if it's on TV on a Saturday afternoon I'm down for it.

[wakefresh 689]

I never read "Congo" and apparently neither did the screenwriter. I love that you can get away with that in Hollywood.

 

"We want you write a movie about 'Tuesdays with Morrie'"

 

"Well, I'm not going read that book. I'll tell ya what...how about I write a movie about futuristic society that is run by cyborgs and their alien masters, and I name one of the characters Morrie...and how about every Tuesday, a human has to fight one of these cyborgs to the death?

 

"Great! We love it!"

[grog1138 60]

As Shariq Torres pointed out, Primate love is not a new thing when Congo came out:

 

Guys, don't jerk off.

 

Seriously though, we need to stop this. You can call me Inter-species-phobic but, I don't want things to deteriorate to this:

[wakefresh 689]

As Shariq Torres pointed out, Primate love is not a new thing when Congo came out:

 

Guys, don't jerk off.

 

Seriously though, we need to stop this. You can call me Inter-species-phobic but, I don't want things to deteriorate to this:

 

OH SHIT!!!!!!

 

GUYS, IF YOU NEED ME I'LL BE IN THE BATHROOM.

[PhillipMedoc 648]

Oh my God, I forgot all about the gorilla warfare scene. Good god, there were so many fucking guns and explosions going off and rockets FUCKING ROCKETS streaming through the air all targeted towards monkeys.... it was like a scene out of The Expendables, it was so ultra violent in its intent to destroy animals with reckless abandon. I could not believe that they unleashed such an incredible amount of unbridled force against gorillas. Who, I guess, were supposed to be super intelligent and outwitted the computer defense systems....

 

... but not intelligent enough to not JUMP INTO THE FUCKING LAVA LIKE THEY'RE AT A GOD DAMNED POOL PARTY when the volcano erupts.

 

Seriously, fuck this movie.

MEGA MAGILLA GUERILLA GORILLA WARFARE.

[Wien 401]

MEGA MAGILLA GUERILLA GORILLA WARFARE.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItKM2zmfC-0&t=1m38s

1:38

[JDLP 23]

[Glaive 29]

...and I hate to be the one to point it out, but the differences from the BOOK are few and far between (Powerglove aside...)

[Paintsville 64]

I never read the book so this is probably as much of a beef with Crichton as it is with the screenwriters, but talk about deus ex machina with the volcano exploding! This volcano was apparently dormant long enough for this diamond mining gorilla civilization to remain intact for what, hundreds or even thousands of years? Then it goes off suddenly, just when our heroes have to escape!

 

hey dum dums, don't build your diamond mine and gorilla war camp at the base of an active volcano.

[RyanSz 3140]

Holy shit.

 

I just read the Wiki to see how big a difference the movie was from the book and its insane. Munro really was white in the book, hence the joke by Ernie Hudson saying he was the great white African hunter but he was black. Also Dr. Peter and Amy were treated almost as an afterthought and were used more as a possible safe gaurd against any gorillas that they may come across in the jungle. The diamonds were meant to be used for new computer processors rather than lasers, and a lot more of the team survived. Also, Tim Curry's character wasn't even in the book, so his character was created SOLELY for audiences to watch a douchey European guy get killed by a gorilla. The one thing I glad wasn't transferred over to the movie was the idea that the gorilla's may have been gorilla/human hybrids. Also the volcano only exploded in the book because the Laura Linney character was setting off explosives to do geological surveys of the area, rather than just because.

 

What's weird is that the screenwriter basically decided to give Crichton the finger when he wrote the script, especially after how well Jurassic Park did. While he did have some elements of Crichton's style in the book with the tech talk and some corporate espionage, it was all so rushed and came off has unnecessary. And instead of a post-credit scene of just the balloon not taking them to a safe place, I want it to be that along with Peter saying something like "I know Amy is now happy and safe" and then cut to the Silverbacks just viciously killing Amy since she's not part of their herdand came off as trying to take over as the alpha.

[justinmh05 1968]

"These monkeys don't know which way is up!" - June Diane Raphael

 

Best moment in podcast history.

[robinsbruce 4985]

I need a "Bizzarely Erotic" Memezoukas now please.

 

 

Para tu, Shannon.